Getting Coffee Is Hard to Do

By Stanley Fish

Stanley Fish has written an Op-Ed for The Times that appears in print and online today. Post a comment about it below. — The Editors

A coordination problem (a term of art in economics and management) occurs when you have a task to perform, the task has multiple and shifting components, the time for completion is limited, and your performance is affected by the order and sequence of the actions you take. The trick is to manage it so that the components don’t bump into each other in ways that produce confusion, frustration and inefficiency. … Read the column »

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back in my day… August 4, 2007 · 10:44 pm

Mr. Fish sounds like a cranky old man. It’s really not that difficult to get your milk and sugar at starbucks.

Tom August 4, 2007 · 11:20 pm

wow….what a boring column. the writing was the easy part; i had to do all the thinking myself…

Damian Brennan August 4, 2007 · 11:37 pm

wait a second, I have to get my violin. The indignities Mr. Fish suffers are truly terrible – I hope those refugees in Sudan realize how good they have it, not having to choose between sweeteners and having to pour their own milk.

Seriously though I think that Mr. Fish has crossed over to official NY Times curmudgeon. Some of us are VERY happy that we get to put our own milk in coffee – it gives me control that I want. Compare that to a recent trip to West Virginia where I could not get the woman behing the counter at a Dunkin Donuts that I did NOT want sugar in my coffee. It seriously took her three times to give me a coffee with no sugar.

It’s a different world now Mr. Fish and it’s about having things the way we want it, not the way the person behing the counter wants it. You might have been able to get a cheese danish and a cup of brewed coffee in 20 seconds years ago and there are still places you can do that. However I am glad that today there are places for people like me who prefer things like a triple grande skim latte and a whole wheat muffin.

O.R. Siddiqui August 5, 2007 · 3:28 am

As an avid reader of Dr. Fish’s blog, I was disappointed to read this column. I see his past entries as having provided an insightful, thoughtful view on serious issues. But, the inconveniences of getting coffee…really?

Is there a safer, more cliched, more trite position to take in the critique of modern society than to complain about the myriad of choices available at coffee places? The whole “double shot, grande” bit has been done to death – by the likes of Tom Hanks, no less (see: You’ve Got Mail).

Don’t get me wrong: I’m all for fun, light-hearted commentary but it should at least strive to be just a little fresh. And, I realize that the larger point of the article was to talk about how consumers are increasingly absorbing the burden of labour, but this point wasn’t even brought up until the end, and even then it was explored very thinly.

Tsk, tsk, Dr.Fish. This isn’t the ground-breaking commentary we’ve come to expect from you.

Tom Bleakley August 5, 2007 · 3:35 am

To complete the story (and a glaring omission by Mr. Fish it is) is the matter of the omnipresent tip jar, front and center, where one is expected to contribute in advance for the privilege of receiving the well-described depersonalized non-service.

Tom Bleakley

T. J. Moyseowicz August 5, 2007 · 7:12 am

Professor Fish’s use of the coffee example can be broadened into a lesson in comparative cultures. Long before over-priced boutique coffee establishments began displacing the linoleum, Formica & neon joints where Americans got a cup of coffee, Italy had (and still has) its stand-up coffee bars where the “barrista” (an honorable profession) freshly makes up and serves up your demitasse (or even cup, depending the type of coffee ordered). Other Latin countries favor the same institution (I use the example of Italy because I’m particularly familiar with it). The coffee bar in these countries is a meeting place, a place to take a quick break and chat with friends. The production of the coffee and the service to the customer is down to a science, the machinery exceedingly reliable, the porcelain demitasse is served with a metal spoon, and the only thing one puts into the coffee is sugar (some bars now offer artificial sweeteners). Since counter tops are invariably marble, they’re easily (and frequently) cleaned, and the porcelain demitasses are washed anew in a steam-heated machine. The prices are reasonable [a properly-sized, i.e., non-super-sized espresso is to be had for about 70 Euro cents, an even greater bargain before the dollar began its lamentable fall].
The proliferation of boutique coffee in the U.S. must rank as one of the greatest triumphs (and cons) of marketing. It is outdone only by the greatest con of them all, which Professor Fish mentions at the tail end of his piece- namely, the inexorable shift of labor burden to the consumer. But Professor Fish does not pull this thread far enough. There has also been an extraordinary (and still increasing) shift in labor burden and its complexity within trades. The most insidious manifestation of this trend is the managerial decision to eliminate clerical support specialists from an organization’s rosters because all employees are now electronically networked.

Andrew Makarushka August 5, 2007 · 7:21 am

Holy Starbucks! Stanley, get over yourself. It’s not that hard. Decide what you want, tell the nice young person at the counter, pay up and then fix the drink as you want it. The spread of coffee houses has brought a nice new civility to the marketplace where people can meet, chat or read. This is a welcome development. More businesses would do well to imitate this model. Just as you had to learn how to use a computer, you can learn how to manage a visit to Starbucks.

Michelle B August 5, 2007 · 7:47 am

hilarious piece! and let’s not forget the gazillion stuff you can sprinkle on your coffee. cinnamon? nutmeg? chocolate?

thanks for the great weekend read (i was having english breakfast tea with plain milk!).

michelle

Bob Berens August 5, 2007 · 7:51 am

Bravo! Mr. Fish’s comments are right on. After several years of doing the “Starebucks” thing, I finally realized, “what’s wrong with my own coffee?” Now I make my own each morning, fill up a thermos, and drink nice hot (and fresh” coffee throughout the day. Savings: two to five dollars per day, many fewer calories (those tempting bakery items), and one less stop on the way to work. That’s a win/win/win.

mickey krueger August 5, 2007 · 8:01 am

I used to have fun poking fun and dismay at the complexities, and price of getting a cup of coffee at the local coffee house; Starbucks, et al. But I’m over it now, and I’ve moved on. If Starbucks is convienent, I’ll stop in. If it’s not on the way, I’ll go elsewhere. Oh, about the lines. If you haven’t noticed yet, every place is more crowded today, and everything is more complicated. If I really feel like it, I can always go to my local diner and get a simple cup of coffe, but the price is up.

Judy Kirkwood August 5, 2007 · 8:02 am

Try working at one of those coffee shops, where the “barristas” are glorified bartenders but the tips are not as good. Remember when a martini could be too dry or wet? Now your coffee can be. The ingredients and process of a cup of coffee are not only endless; so is pleasing the customer.

My son works at a Starbucks in an Atlantic Coast community that shall remain nameless. The people who pay with $100 bills are alse the ones who want to haggle about the price.

But there’s one ritual that remains the same as in coffee shops of old. The really good barristas remember your name and your drink. No small feat given the roster of options. Worth a bigger tip. The price of your cup just went up again.

Still, it’s great to see young people congregating in coffee shops instead of bars. My preference–bring back the tea room.

Len C August 5, 2007 · 8:03 am

Finally! Professor Fish and I see eye-to-eye! And they said it couldn’t be done!

Jeffrey R. Broido August 5, 2007 · 9:10 am

Dear Mr. Fish,

Hmmmm… You appear to be describing the style of coffee shop pioneered by a company named for a Melville character. Years ago, we drank that sort of coffee, in that sort of coffee shop, but gave up buying either their brew or their beans due to both the coordination problem you mention and, even worse, inconsistency in quality.

We brew our daily coffee at home and the result is consistently better than anything we have ever tasted in a coffee shop, no matter how evocative its name, on the one hand, nor old-fashioned on the other.

We buy whole beans from Empire Coffee and Tea, a semi-undiscovered, genuine New York treasure that’s been operating since 1909 on the West Side (see empirecoffeetea.com), generally French roast Mocha-Java, Bourbon Santos and, once is a while, Kona. Their French roast is properly well done but not burnt and they ship their reasonably priced beans via UPS ground (at their low, actual shipping cost, I might add) and they generally arrive still warm the next day. We grind them right before brewing in a full-sized machine we bought on eBay, of the sort still seen in some A&P supermarkets (though a tiny, counter grinder would do just fine) and brew our coffee in a French press.

The result is coffee which tastes as good as it smells when fresh ground, and that’s something that no Melvilleoid will ever achieve using their current methods, even if they solve their coordination problem.

Regards,
Jeff Broido
Morristown, NJ

Kenny August 5, 2007 · 9:29 am

The customer engineering at Starbucks and other coffee “houses” is terrible. But this isn’t about coffee. Ah the wit. The old gadfly is going retro for the “good ol days” when things were just fine in America. I think you can still get that awful cup of coffee you want at a Waffle House. The waitress will call you “hon'” and all will be right with the world. It won’t be wireless and they won’t have Kona coffee. They will have non-dairy creamer and people will be smoking. Yes sir, the good ‘ol days before taste and technology ruined everything. Back when things were just fine. It was simpler then. No computers. No cell phones. No war. No racism. No poverty. And the coffee was mmmm mmmm good.

C. VanSwearingen August 5, 2007 · 9:50 am

Spoons? Don’t you mean sticks?

Steven Maceda August 5, 2007 · 9:53 am

I believe Yogi Berra once said, “Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.”

Jackie August 5, 2007 · 9:56 am

I just don’t see the problem. I’d much rather do these tasks myself and not get coffee that’s too sweet or too light or a bagel with three inches of cream cheese. Maybe that’s because I’m picky or overly health conscious, but I welcome the chance to customize this small part of my life without having to explain/instruct the people behind the counter (who would be driven crazy by such detailed instruction). It’s better than having the usually mediocre coffee from the diner that was the only choice in my younger days. No big deal if it takes a little longer. Anyway, you can STILL go to the diner, you know!

Robert Stern August 5, 2007 · 10:06 am

“Your call is important to us….”

After navigating through layers of menus in corporate “phone support” systems, one reaches the penultimate destination, placed on hold for seemingly endless periods of time. Ten minutes later, the foreign, outsourced support “associate” gets on the line. After repeating the question and answer a number of times to overcome language problems, it is quite possible that the problem gets solved.

Corporate efficiency hasn’t been outsourced offshore — it has been outsourced to the customer.

Steven Bissell August 5, 2007 · 10:12 am

You got to a ‘Starbucks clone’ and then complain about it? Or was this suppose to be humorous? Why are you wasting my time and NY Times space with this drivel?

Rosiland Jordan August 5, 2007 · 10:24 am

If you frequent the same coffee shop I do, the clerk will usually remember that I need room in the cup to add some milk — thus reducing the chances I’ll pour some of the extra coffee into the trash bag (which I’m sure isn’t a smart thing to do, but I’ve done it). These days, I consider that personal service!

Dar Hosta August 5, 2007 · 10:26 am

Love this column! Amazing how stupid and inadequate we can feel doing this simple task. Too many things to choose, too much money and too much hip-ness, I agree! Personally, I have always felt a little weird using Italian to tell someone what size drink I’d like. How idiotic.

You forgot to mention how many of these places now have the “tip jar” out for you to pay even more for this ordeal! Argggghhhhh!

steve latimer August 5, 2007 · 10:31 am

Ahhh a good cuppa black coffee and an English muffin, and a booth to sit in while savoring the pure coffee flavor. In my town there are still some places where I can enjoy just that with my morning paper.

My only surrender to today’s trendy tastes in coffee is that I love a cappuccino in a nice cafe after a good movie. but my guess, and its only a guess, is that cappuccino dates me.

roger August 5, 2007 · 10:45 am

Bravo!

You forgot to mention that the Baristas also expect a tip for the work we do for ourselves.

inframan August 5, 2007 · 11:12 am

Beautiful piece. Hits so true & reads so eloquently. Like a Bach fugue in words.

Tom Gordon August 5, 2007 · 11:22 am

Prof. Fish,

I am sorry that the world of coffee has joined the world legal interpretation and passed you by. As a 60 something, I don’t find the conceit of the doddering oldster anymore amusing than your modest proposal on education and freedom of expression.