Morning Poppers (Tax Cuts Edition)

Good morning lads,

Looks like the Trumpster finally pulled it off — figured out a way to give all of his rich buddies a little bit more money while shitposting on Twitter how terrible President Hillary Clinton would’ve been. Plus, he just commuted the sentence of a fine rabbi who was supposed to serve 27 years for bank fraud, employed hundreds of illegal Mexicans, simply because he could and it was Hannukah. These are indeed the very best of times, when crimes don’t exist for those who have money; you can quite literally do whatever you want. Just the other day, I savagely assaulted someone in the streets whilst eating a potato and leek sandwich. Some cop looked at me and I showed them my brokerage account statement and they let me continue beating the poor shlub.

My plans for today are pretty simple enough. Show up. Make 50%. Brag a fuckload about it online. Drink La Croix faggot waters all day, then head out to buy some more champagne. I keep doing this shit everyday and no one seems interested or willing to stop me, so I’ll keep doing it until I can’t anymore.

Here I am here, making 50% and 90% respectively in two of my positions for the day and it isn't even 7:30am. pic.twitter.com/FPoA8texZ4

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) December 21, 2017

I just glanced at one of my stocks and it’s up 40% in the pre-market, not a big deal. This is normal stuff for me now. My end game is modest: collect as much money as I possibly can, buy a castle in Newport, RI, then rip it down and replace it with some hideous circus like structure just to fuck with the neighbors.

Here are some other headlines, as you count your gains.

Biogen’s Adaptive Phase II Study of BAN2401 in Early Alzheimer’s fails to meet primary endpoint
Spirit Airlines upgraded to Buy from Hold at Deutsche Bank
Discovery upgraded to Buy from Neutral at BofA/Merrill
The SEC is said to be nearing approval of Spotfiy’s direct NYSE listing, according to the WSJ