Memory Walk – Pamela Laird

Pamela Laird is an ASI ambassador, beauty expert and entrepreneur and she has a deep family connection with dementia as her father, Sylvester, was diagnosed with dementia in 2016. Here she talks about her dad’s diagnosis, how COVID-19 pandemic impacted her dad’s care and why she is taking part in Memory Walk on Sunday, 20th September. 

My father, Sylvester, was diagnosed with dementia in 2016; however we started noticing changes as far back as 2010. Dad had issues with memory loss prior to that and had been to the doctor many times about this and his hearing was declining too; we sort of joked about it at the time as I think he tried to cover it up.

However, after Dad’s dementia diagnosis we were completely shocked. He hadn’t forgotten our names or where he lived or day-to-day things, but his mobility and long-term memory was most affected at the beginning and it was hard to comprehend that it could be dementia.

Dad was very able to look after himself and he was still doing the gardening and cooking. My dad went to a mental health facility to help with some issues but he checked himself out; there wasn’t much support there for people with his condition.

The other supports seemed to be for people who were in a more advanced stage of dementia and he struggled to take part.  This meant he became very isolated and as his condition declined, he was unable to look after the garden which was his hobby.  Mum and I both worked and would juggle popping home to check in on him.

In 2019, it became too much to handle at home and we looked for help and availed of carer services. My mum attended a six-week course run by The ASI for how to care for someone with dementia and she found it helped her cope. We were just getting used to the extra help when COVID-19 hit.

Mum made a decision to cancel the carers for fear of him being exposed to the virus and she cocooned with him for 10 weeks and became his sole carer. This has been extremely tough and isolating for both my parents.

My dad has amazing life stories! He was a stunt man in his early twenties for George Peppard from The A-Team and he even raced at Silverstone. Dad also hung out Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton; he was in the motor trade and would look after them with cars while they were in Ireland filming. My dad had his own business since before I was born and I would regularly end up in his car garage after school. He was an amazing cook, gardener and builder – I’m pretty sure there was nothing my dad couldn’t do!

It’s been devastating to see him decline and I’m not sure people realise how hard it is to watch someone disappear before your eyes. He’s still my dad of course and he still loves to tell me how lovely I look every day! We are so lucky to still have him, but miss what he was.

Much like ours lots of families will have been alone looking after their family member. All the face-to-face services have closed for now and the families and carers need support. It’s not that there isn’t help available but it’s that the carer often doesn’t know what help they need or where to look.

It’s often not spoken about when someone has dementia and I guess people assume, like I did, that they forget who they are but are happy. Well this can be the case but lots of other issues arise from dementia like mobility issues, confusion, sadness and isolation.

It’s at a time like this where we need to remember those suffering alone and get them support that they desperately need. We need to put a spotlight on dementia and it desperately needs our attention.

I am really looking forward to taking part in Memory Walk on Sunday, September 20th. Mum and I will be taking it on turns so someone is here to look after dad but we will walk together but apart! I will be taking Tallulah my dog, she’s a Chihuahua, so maybe not the whole way but I’ll bring her along with me!

Alzheimer’s Memory Walk is taking place on Sunday, September 20th – For more information, click HERE