Opinion - Women of the world, unite!
That’s the first thing that popped into my head when I sat down to write this column to commemorate Women’s Month.
Life is full of catch-phrases and patriarchy: “This is a man’s world”; “Time and tide waits for no man”; “A man’s man”; etc.
Seemingly, women were being left out of the social narrative, right? Wrong!
Women, like you and I, have been promoting this narrative since time immemorial. Is it not about time we stand up for our own, gender?
I am glad I was not part of that 1956 Women’s March to the Union Buildings.
I don’t think I would have managed bathing, dressing and feeding two feisty toddlers, cooking supper, tying the children’s and hubby’s lunch, and running off to fight for gender equity - all in one morning.
On August 9, 1956, about 20 000 women, of all races and ages, marched to the Union Buildings protesting the extension of Pass Laws.
The march was co-ordinated by the Federation of South African Women (Fedsaw), led by Lillian Ngoyi, Helen Joseph, Rahima Moosa, and Sophia Williams de Bruyn.
These courageous women would have been trending on Twitter if social media was around in those days.
I marvel at the hashtags that we could have come up with: #DownWithPassLaws, #WomenUnite, #PassLawsForWho and #FreeMovement.
But, it was more than just a march. It was the first time that women of all races had united, during the dark days of apartheid, to fight these oppressive laws.
I salute all the women who have played a brilliant role in fighting for our freedom and, ultimately, the emancipation of women and the right for women to be recognised as equals in the fight against apartheid.
A few years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting the only surviving member of that historic march, Sophia Williams de Bruyn.
Eager to find out what inspired and motivated this diminutive firebrand to join forces with her fellow sisters in leading this march, I asked her: “Why did you do it?”
Sophia smiled and said: “For you and our children.”
Simple. She didn’t say: “I did it for all the women of the country.”
No. She said she did it for “our children”.
That touched me. Despite the threat of
imprisonment, beatings and possibly even death, these brave women marched for the sake of our children: girls and boys.
We don’t often pay attention to raising and educating our young men and women about how to build an equal society, and how to give each other a fair chance at growing and nurturing a new generation, that will lead the country with fairness, equity, and equality.
The spotlight always turns to how men are the demons, the oppressors, the rapists, the “dogs” as it were - a whole lot of stereotypes that once fuelled the #MenAreTrash
movement.
August normally brings about an outpouring of abuse of women and children. But, are we teaching our children how to be better people or are we just promoting these stereotypes - that men are to blame for the abuse against women and children?
A number of years ago, I was assigned to a story.
My interviewee came from high-brow, rich society. Old money - I think - is the correct term. At the time, I was a mother to a feisty and adventurous four-year-old boy, who had decorated my work clothes with delightful spots of baby cereal and toddler milk formula.
With no time to waste, I had to dash off to this interview, oblivious to the new designs my son placed on my shirt.
I had to go through several security checks before I was allowed access to the home. The lounge in which I was made to wait, boasted overstuffed couches, reminding me of the soft, decadent curves of Rubens paintings.
Everything in that home screamed taste and decorum - right down to the Villeroy and Bosch tea-set, complete with gold-rimmed tea-cups, triangular-shaped cucumber sandwiches and a healthy assortment of carrot sticks, celery, and cucumber sticks, tastefully surrounding a delicious hummus dip.
This was anything but the traditional Indian-origin welcome, of buttered Marie biscuits and tea, that I was accustomed to.
Suddenly, I felt like a running fowl in uMhlanga - it just didn’t go! I nervously tested and re-tested my recording equipment to make sure everything was working and I opened a new page in my notebook.
It was then that the lady of the house noiselessly sauntered in. She was taste personified - from her highly polished moccasins to her classic-cut Gucci trousers and her eye-catching Hermes scarf.
She was not ordinary. But, thankfully, she was friendly.
We chatted for some time, all the while my interviewee surreptitiously eyeing my R30 kurti top I bought from the India Fair.
After the interview, she asked me about my son and how I was coping with child-rearing and holding down a full-time job, to pay the bills and the bond.
I thought this was a bit odd since I don’t like sharing too much information with strangers about my personal life.
At the time, #ShahRukhJaan (as my husband has become popularly known on social media) and I were parents, struggling to make ends meet and yes, my day consisted of ironing clothes at 5am, cooking the evening meal, ensuring the four-year-old was dressed and packed with all essentials for crèche, and tying lunch for my hubby.
It often meant me skipping breakfast and grabbing a sugar-laden cup of java at work, before dashing off to an interview.
Then the penny dropped. My host was silently playing “connect-the-cereal-stains-on-Salma’s-kurti-top” as I spoke.
Being fairly brown-skinned, I don’t think I blushed, but I could feel my cheeks flush.
“Oh. I’m so sorry. I was struggling to feed my son and my shirt this morning,” I said pointing out the crusty cereal stains.
We laughed. And I was relieved. This lady has a sense of humour.
It was that day I realised that I am a woman who is raising a son and educating my partner on what a fair and just society should be. The responsibility of fairness, balance and equality highlighted on Women’s Day and in Women’s Month rests with me, first - cereal stains or not.
We have often heard the old aunties chiding in Indian-origin homes, whether at prayers or weddings or functions: “Let the mens eat first, ey, kanna!” And, I would marvel at the fact that we women would congregate in the kitchen dishing and serving the “mens” who would eat first, not realising this simple request further promoted the stereotype that men are far superior (and really need to eat first).
Nowadays, anybody who wants to partake gets to eat first.
That’s the little adjustment my husband and I have made in our household, all in the interests of teaching our children what it means to be fair to everyone - women and men.
So, as we celebrate Women’s Day and Women’s Month, let’s learn to teach our children that it is important for women and men to unite, and fight for fairness and equality.
I think it’s the best tribute we could pay to those stalwarts, who marched to the Union Buildings 63 years ago, to be recognised as equals in fighting injustice and building a new generation.
From me to you - happy Women’s Month!