Cincinnati high school football coaches: 'It gets to your soul, the things you see'

With the Kentucky "dead period" and his family vacation drawing near, Holmes football coach Ben Nevels felt an anxiety some other football coaches know all too well.

Who’s going to watch out for his boys while he’s gone? What if something happens during the time he's not allowed to communicate with them?

Football coaches can’t ever let their minds go quiet.

It’s 24 hours a day, 7 days a week all year because it’s never just about Xs and Os for them.

He and the other high school football coaches who attended an Enquirer coaches panel talked about what it's like to lead a sport that serves as a salve for the wounds some teenagers face. 

Football is a teacher. No matter the walk of life, the sport changes whomever it touches. 

Developing the football family

Hughes football coach Chris Mobley saw Keion Hinton while he played youth ball in Roselawn and wanted to see the athletic young man play for the Big Red.

The two clicked almost immediately, so much so that when Hinton heard gun shots outside his Bond Hill home twice in June, his first thoughts were to share his whereabouts with his coach.

"I let him know I'm OK, because anything can happen," Hinton said.

The freshman hadn’t even stepped under Friday night lights for Mobley and he embraced the idea his coach was in his corner for any of life's fights.

"I've had students that have been shot before or been around that type of stuff. So knowing he was OK and he was safe helps me sleep better at night," Mobley said.

Mobley, a first-generation college graduate, routinely spends his after-practice evenings joking around and playing video games with 15 to 20 boys in his office.

More:An army of support. How Hughes High School football and Kings youth team bonded.

"I’m not going to say, 'Hey, you guys gotta go home so I can go do whatever. I’m not going to say anything. I’m going to sit back until they’re ready to go. Who knows what they’re going home to after the fact?”

New Woodward football coach Greg Conwell knows.

He grew up in one of the roughest parts of Cincinnati with a single mother who made $35 a day. The teenage man of the house helped any way he could to feed his family and pay the rent, all the while playing football for one of the toughest academic high schools in the city, Walnut Hills.

As such, the Taft High School teacher understands his players. The boys experience things that put them on edge. Some, without male role models or with responsibilities beyond the scope of most teenagers, don't know how to process their emotions or how to respond to structure and male authority.

He described a situation at Taft where a young man they'd finally gotten eligible to play football had a rough day at practice and came off the field crying and angry. He pulled him aside to talk him down.

“'You worked your tail off to this point.... Your brothers – everybody from your dad all the way down to your brothers – have done time. We're finally getting you on the right track. Is this the decision you want to make?'” he asked the boy.

Ten minutes later, he returned to the field.

Conwell said developing healthy relationships with his players is key to helping them keep their eyes on the figurative and literal ball. He pointed to Woodward and UC star Antwan Peek, who played in the NFL, as a success story.

Gamble Montessori coach Rob Rachel called it "trying to meet those kids where they're at." Ways to do that? Making sure not to come down on them too hard if they miss practice to take care of their siblings. Finding rides or bus fare for them. Letting them bring siblings to practice. Remembering they're dealing with a lot just to play football. 

Nevels said he's had to adjust over the years to that idea. When a young man has a melt down, he has to balance knowing where it's coming from and setting a tone with the kid's teammates on how to conduct themselves.

"So it’s a matter, again, of pulling him aside. Kid starts crying, 'I love you, man.' 'I love you. Now, don’t yell at me no more. Come on. Let’s go back.'”

He and coaches like Western Hills coach Armand Tatum said their faith keeps them steady while they navigate off- and on-field responsibilities.

"If I didn’t have that to fall back on, I’d be lost," Nevels said.

Taft coach Jeff Cargile said it takes a special kind of man to coach football in this kind of urban setting. He's taken some of his players in his home because they've had nowhere to go.

"It’s a 365-day-a-year-job," he said. "It takes a special breed, especially now." 

Cargile said these boys find it hard to trust, having been disappointed by so many people in their lives. He doesn't intend on being one of them.

"If a kid opens to you, you know you got him. You got him, and it’s our responsibility to keep him," he said. "It’s rough. It gets to your soul, the things you see."

Wins from losses 

Walnut Hills head coach Gerry Beauchamp recalled how defensive lineman Robinson Perry dealt with some weighty personal issues during his senior season.

"The brotherhood of our team, the support of our team, I think it really helped carry him through that," Beauchamp said.

Near the end of May, before off-season workouts even began, his mother, Kimberly Williams was exhibiting signs of blood clots. A few weeks later, Cincinnati Police Department's first-ever African American female captain was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer. 

Just after the 2018-19 school year started, Williams lost her fight with breast cancer, passing away at the age of 54. She was just 42 days from her 30-year anniversary at work and seven months from seeing her only son graduate high school. 

Nine days after his mom's passing, Walnut Hills met Lakota East in Week 1. For Perry, the decision of playing or sitting out was an easy one. His mom would have wanted him to play.

"All my coaches and teammates were just so supportive," Perry said. "They were a huge support system for me. They let me take the time I needed and they were understanding. Never did they try to push something on me. They let me work through the grieving process, which was a blessing."

Chicago Bears' David Montgomery, who along with Houston Texans' Joel Heath played for Mt. Healthy coach Arvie Crouch, has talked publicly about losing one of his football family, team captain Vince Turnage, and how that inspires him. 

Tatum saw firsthand how the safe environment he created eased 2019 Western Hills senior Davarious Turner's pain during his senior season.

Turner's two brothers, who lived in Chicago, were shot in the span of a few months. One brother made it through a shooting over the summer, but the other died from those wounds around week 4 or 5 of the season. 

He came to practice the day that brother died, prompting Tatum to tell him to go home and be with his dad. Turner refused. When they learned the brother's funeral would be on Friday night, Tatum started working on a game plan that didn't involve his wide receiver/cornerback. Again, Turner said, "No, coach. I'm going to be here."

The current University of Pikeville football player looked at Western Hills football as his family.

"He had a heck of a game that night," Tatum said.

Structure, sustenance

If only learning to play the game were all these young men need.

When new Withrow coach Kali Jones noticed some boys were subsisting off chips and soda, it was little wonder a few got light-headed during practice. He also noticed some don't eat regularly during the weekend away from the breakfasts and lunches the school provides during weekdays.

So Jones brought with him something that worked at Woodward: a food pantry in his office.

"When the body doesn’t draw from any real nutrients, ...now you have the attitudes, and you have uncharacteristic behavior you have to address. Somebody from outside the program will say, 'Hey, those kids are crazy.' (I say) 'Wait a minute, they haven’t eaten today so you don’t even know what you’re looking at right now.'

"It affects everything. If a kid is going home to an abusive relationship, their morale when they get back to the school is all over the place because of what they just witnessed or what they experienced at home," Jones said. "I get angry when I’m hungry. It is natural for someone to act in an uncharacteristic manner when they are lacking some of the things we have all the time."

As a result, many urban teams lack both size and numbers. Mobley recalled one great player who didn't gain 10 pounds over two or three seasons for lack of nutrition.

He and the other coaches are constantly fundraising and seeking donations, and they're not choosy. They've seen boys fill their backpacks with donated food to take home to their siblings.

"Those are the kids who don’t miss practice because they don’t want to miss a meal," Cargile said.

Some boys may not have a consistent place to call home. Cargile said his staff got together to help a boy who'd been living in the locker room.

Coaches used donations to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches between two-a-days over the summer, when meals offered during the school year weren't available. Because some teams are without booster clubs, they need donations year-round to sustain young men whose football activities exceed their caloric intake and whose home lives dictate a need for basic things like deodorant and athletic socks.

City students can live in different communities than their high schools, so some need transportation to get to games and practice. What's more, with Stargel Stadium still under construction, the teams using it have had to be creative to get their boys where they need to be.

Crouch, who takes his boys on trips each year to get them out of the city, said he was using program money to buy food, but recently looked at after-school funding to bring in more for his Mt. Healthy Owls.

"I've seen a difference in the boys' bodies. Football's not an easy sport," he said.

And it's not cheap. Coaches often go through their personal coaching stipends to pay for food and gas needed to take boys to out-of-town camps, to provide needs and some extras. The joy the boys experience at receiving team spirit wear or new uniforms is quite the sight.

Giving, receiving support

"One thing about kids," said Withrow's Jones, "they know truth when they hear it. We are motivated and moved by others’ experiences."

He is speaking of the death of his infant daughter. He continued to coach in the season she passed and uses that as an example to his players.

"Although my daughter passed, I’m still a husband, a father and life goes on. You still have to be that person to other people as well. That’s how I’m able to relate," Jones said.

They were particularly moved to respond when a tornado hit Jones' hometown Dayton in May 2019. He took eight boys north to Dayton to feed and assist displaced victims from the tornado.

He said one of those eight players was homeless himself at the time he went to help.

"I’m a big proponent of not always having your hand out but going out there and letting the community see you work," the former Marine said. "We have enough young people out here with an expectation of always getting something for free."

It's why he insists they participate in the March for Babies. He's not alone in providing this example.

Mobley takes his Hughes football players to load and unload boats at Paddlefest.

Tatum encourages his boys to pick up litter along the streets where their football stadium is and the businesses they frequent. "It's our home; let's take care of it," he tells them.

Crouch's Mt. Healthy boys raise money for their program by working Reds concession stands. They volunteer for "Christmas in Mt. Healthy" and have shopped for the needy the last 10 years as part of the "Sharing tree" program.

To a man, the coaches want people to know their young men are good people who just want to be seen.

More:Pulling the boys from Friday Night Fights to Friday Night Lights: How can we help?

Hope and heroes

When Mobley first saw Hinton on the football field playing for Roselawn, he saw a young man of high character.

With no subs on the team, Hinton went full throttle on every play.

"If we can have 100 kids like Keion, we'll have a great program," he said.

At 230 pounds, the freshman will only get bigger. With hard work, he's put on 10-15 pounds of muscle since May. His focus, work ethic, athleticism and academics, along with the structure his mother and father provide him, make him a leader in the making.

"I'm excited to have him the next four years. Outside of football, we're going to be friends for life."

Hinton, who wears a remembrance on his visor for his late grandfather, said Mobley's like a second father to him. They talk football, life, grades. And, when anger gets the best of him, he said he releases it in the safe confines of a football field.

"He picked me up for a reason."

Kareem Elgazzar and Shelby Dermer contributed to this article.