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Throat-clearing could be sign co-worker has medical condition

Dear Amy: I work in an office where we sit in cubicles.

A new hire has a very annoying habit of clearing his throat and making grunting sounds constantly.

It is very annoying to all of us who sit near him.

We have even counted the noises he makes. He does this one to three times per minute.

What would be a polite way of making him aware of this so that he might make an effort to stop it?

It is getting difficult to concentrate on our jobs.

We are wondering if it is a health issue or just a bad habit because when we are in meetings (including one that lasted all day) he does not do it.

— Annoyed

Dear Annoyed: Your colleague might have a medical condition causing him to do this. For instance, there is a fairly well-known disorder called Tourette’s syndrome that has symptoms similar to what you describe.

People suffering from Tourette’s sometimes have uncontrollable tics, grunts or other unusual outbursts and physical gestures — sometimes hundreds of times a day.

People with Tourette’s can sometimes control their symptoms with great effort, but the minute they relax or concentrate on something else, the tics return.

You should speak with your supervisor or HR (not your co-worker) to see if there is a way your company can accommodate him so that everyone can do their jobs well and relatively free of distractions.

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for 18 years and are both in our early 50s. We are both healthy and active. We have had a very fulfilling and active sex life until the past couple of years.

My problem is that I no longer desire to have sex. I know this hurts my husband, but I can’t force myself to do it. I enjoy cuddling but am put off by anything sexual.

I’ve been menopausal for two years, and I’ve discussed this with friends and my health-care provider.

My husband is attractive and a good provider. I am open and honest with him but know it hurts him. I have even suggested divorce so he can have a sexually satisfying relationship with someone else.

What do you suggest?

— Disinterested

Dear Disinterested: If you had a persistent, hacking cough, you’d discuss your condition with your health-care provider, and if your health-care provider didn’t offer you any ideas for treatment, then you’d find another one who would take your concerns and condition seriously.

Your sexual dysfunction could be related to menopause, when the hormone levels in a woman’s body decrease. If your physician hasn’t made this connection, point it out, ask questions, do some research and insist that he or she offer you ideas for treatment.

It is somewhat shocking that you would offer your husband a divorce more easily than you would explore and pursue treatment, but your attitude about this is a reflection of how society (and our health-care system) dismisses female sexual dysfunction.

Please involve your husband in your efforts to figure this out — working out health problems together is an important part of your intimate partnership, and you both have a big stake in your recovery.

Dear Amy: I’m responding to “Hates Asking For Money,” the young woman who didn’t need household items but wanted to ask for money for wedding gifts.

When my husband and I started our married lives together, we had been living together.

We needed nothing for us, so we put a request in our wedding invitations, saying, “Instead of gifts, please make donations to animal-friendly organizations.”

I put a list together of organizations such as the humane societies in our area, and I e-mailed the list to those who wanted it.

Everyone gave happily, they got tax deductions, we knew the money helped and best of all on our wedding day one couple came to our reception with pictures of the two new “furry kids” they had adopted when they went to make the donation!

— D.C. Reader

Dear D.C.: I love this idea.

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Ask Amy appears Monday through Saturday in Tempo and Sunday in Q. Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.

Previous columns are available at chicagotribune .com/amy.