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Thirteen years ago, when the lead character in the TV series ”James at 16” lost his virginity, writer Dan Wakefield tried to persuade NBC to have the teen use birth control. But the words ”condom” and ”responsible” were barred from use in the script.

Even in the `90s, we still don`t like to talk about responsible sex among teens, says Judith Senderowitz, founder and former executive director of the Center for Population Options, a private, non-profit organization in Washington, D.C. for the prevention of adolescent pregnancy.

Even so, parents and taxpayers seem willing to give high schools a bigger role in educating and equipping teens for what many view as inevitable sexual activity. And many schools are offering condoms to students free of charge.

In a Gallup poll released last month, 68 percent of adults 18 and older approve of condom distribution in their local public schools, 43 percent said condoms should be given to students who want them, and 25 percent said schools should require parents` consent.

Still, 25 percent of those polled opposed condom distribution. In Orange County, Calif., state assemblymen Gil Ferguson (R-Newport Beach) introduced legislation that would have prohibited the sale or distribution of condoms to anyone 18 years or younger within 1,000 feet of any public school in the state. The bill was defeated 3-3 in committee.

Ferguson and many parents believe that easy access to free contraceptives entices teens to explore sexual turf they would not have known about and therefore would not have delved into.

But at least four major studies by CPO, Planned Parenthood Federation of America, Inc. and two independent researchers published in the journal Family Planning Perspectives show that sex education prompts more responsible behavior, not less. The studies, and millions of parents, say the best course of action is education and contraception-not abstinence.

About 40 schools, most in large urban areas such as New York City, Chicago, Los Angeles, Philadelphia and Dallas, make condoms available to students who visit clinics either linked to or located in schools, according to CPO. About half of those states have legislation requiring courses in human sexuality, but only one, Massachusetts, has issued a statewide policy from the Board of Education urging high schools to consider making condoms easily available to students.

Senderowitz says the ”problem” of teenage sexuality is rooted in a huge biosocial gap. ”Cultural menarchy, the age at first menstruation, has dropped from 16 to 12 in the past several hundred years,” she says. ”At the same time, the age of socio-economic ability to raise children is going up.”

More teens are becoming sexually active at younger ages than ever before, according to studies by CPO, Planned Parenthood and the Centers for Disease Control. Twenty-six percent of females have had intercourse by age 15, and more than half of all 15- to 19-year-olds are sexually active (it`s 51.5 percent, according to CPO; 54 percent, according to Centers for Disease Control, Atlanta). But only a third of them say they always use condoms.

With sexual activity, pregnancy, abortion, sexually transmitted diseases including AIDS, parenthood and interrupted education also affect more teens than before.

According to Planned Parenthood and CPO, more than a million American girls 15 to 19 years old become pregnant each year, and nearly half of them give birth. Two-thirds of them are unmarried. By age 18, one in four women will have a pregnancy. The U.S. teen pregnancy rate is one of the highest in the Western world-twice that of England, France or Canada, and three times that of Sweden. Of all abortions in the U.S. each year, 26 percent are to women under age 20. In 1987, the number of abortions in this age group was 406,790. The CPO says roughly 80 percent these pregnancies are unintended.

Some states allocate state funds to help support school-based or school-linked clinics. To date, there are 327 such clinics in the country, usually funded by a combination of public and private money, and about 80 of them receive state funds. About half of the clinics provide condoms free of charge, according to CPO.

But while the courts protect minors` rights to contraceptives, their need for realistic support is rarely met, says Arlisha Kennedy, director of community education for Planned Parenthood/Chicago Area.

”A lot of girls think, `If I get pregnant and have a child, then I`ll have somebody to love.` ” There also is financial incentive to have a child. ”With a child, they can get a welfare card and afford an apartment,”

Kennedy says.

But there`s little, if any, thought given to the costs of dropping out of school and raising a child, Kennedy says. So Planned Parenthood`s teen program focuses on sex education as well as life planning. They rarely get a chance to cover everything sufficiently, she says. On average, secondary schools devote 6 1/2 hours a year to sex education, and less than two of those hours focus on contraception and disease prevention, according to Planned Parenthood. When high school administrations grant her enough time, Kennedy presents her program one full day a week for eight weeks.

Chicago Vocational High School is one of her success stories. In 1987, student enrollment there included 2,000 girls; 319 got pregnant. That same year, Planned Parenthood started its eight-week sex education and life planning program. Since then, the student pregnancy rate has dropped steadily, to a 1990 rate of 61 pregnancies among 2,000 female students.

Abstinence is the first part of the course, Kennedy says. ”We don`t encourage kids to have sex. But we know for a fact that a lot of kids are. We want them to think in terms of making good decisions.”

To that end, she says, ”We talk about situations, like date rape.”

Students come up with suggestions, often based on personal experience. Kennedy urges teens to find opportunities for having ”outercourse”-pleasurable, non- sexual activities such as a pizza party or going shopping-instead of intercourse.

CPO`s Senderowitz agrees, and even uses similar terms. ”Kids have an easier time with sexual intercourse than they do with verbal intercourse,”

she says.

To counter such ignorance and reduce the risks of teen pregnancy, abortion, disease and welfare-dependence, Senderowitz urges all adults to speak honestly and openly about sex and sexual responsibility.

”People are very negative about teenagers,” she says. ”We make it tough by presupposing very bad behavior. And we get it.