Dear Ann Landers: My husband is a wonderful man, but he is very insensitive when it comes to being affectionate or sexual. Whenever he wants to ”have a date,” as he calls it, he insists that I wear a white full slip. At first he said that was what his mother wore around the house. When I told him I didn`t want him to think of me as his mother, he changed his story and said it was what Liz Taylor wore in ”Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.”
I wouldn`t mind dressing up special now and then, or even often, but he insists on it every time. I never wore a full slip before I met him and I don`t like the way it looks or feels. Once I put on a peach camisole and a half slip that I felt pretty in, but he said it didn`t turn him on. He insisted I put on that white slip, so I did and felt like a prostitute.
We`ve been married eight years and have two children. It`s gotten to the point that I am getting very turned off because he is insensitive and demanding, and my needs are never met. He thinks there is nothing wrong with his ”fetish,” as he calls it, and that I should not be so stubborn. I have tried to talk with him several times about my feelings but it doesn`t seem to make a nickel`s worth of difference. He is 49 and I am 33.
What advice do you have for me?
D.H., Houston, Texas
Dear Houston: If it were just the slip, I`d say, ”Go along with it, honey. It`s nothing compared with what some men want in order to get turned on.” But there`s a whole other issue here. The key words are, ”He`s insensitive and demanding and my needs are never met.” This is a lot more serious than the doggone slip.
You two need joint counseling. It`s going to take a trained therapist to cement the cracks in your marriage and the sooner you go for help, the better your chances.
Dear Ann Landers: Since the savings and loan disaster, we seem to have lost our perspective about money. People toss around the word ”billion” with such reckless abandon that I`m sure they have no idea what a billion is. I confess that I had no real understanding of the word until I read this explanation that appeared in a very old copy of Reader`s Digest. It was written by Lou Erickson. I`ll bet if you print it, a lot of eyes will pop. How about it, Ann?
E.S. in Denver
Dollar Signs
”It is difficult to comprehend what $1 billion could be, but at last I have heard an explanation that clears the air.
”A man gave his wife $1 million. He told her to go out and spend $1,000 a day. She did. Three years later she returned to tell him that the money was all gone. She wanted more.
”He then gave her $1 billion. He told her to go out and spend $1,000 a day. She didn`t come back for 3,000 years.”
Dear Denver: Thanks for the economics lesson. And talking about ”the real world,” here`s another jolt. That savings and loan debacle cost $500 billion. And do you know who`s going to pay for it? You and I-the working stiffs. Too bad the members of Congress who set up the laws that made this gigantic ripoff possible can`t be sent someplace for 3,000 years.
———-
When planning a wedding, who pays for what? Who stands where? ”The Ann Landers Guide for Brides” has all the answers. Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $3.65 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, Ill. 60611-0562. (In Canada, send $4.45.)
