Dear Anna: I went on two dates with a guy I saw a lot of potential in. The third date he told me he just wanted to be friends and then afterward kissed me passionately in a most un-friendlike way. It was very confusing, and now I’m torn. Do I try to keep pursuing him or let it go? —Friend Zoned
Dear FZ,
As every girl-child (and some boy-children) has been singing for the past two years, “Let it go!”
His behavior was definitely confusing and mixed-message-y, which is all the more reason to drop him like a Hot Pocket “fresh” out of the microwave that burns you only to inexplicably still be frozen in the middle. Don’t let your love life be a sad Hot Pocket metaphor, is what I’m saying!
It’s tempting to pursue someone who has doubts big enough to make out with you after strapping on the equivalent of a verbal chastity belt, but it’s also a fruitless endeavor. If you were describing your ideal mate to someone, would one of his attributes be “Says to my face that he does not want to date me when we hardly know each other”?
It would not, and I encourage you to remember that should he try to attach himself to your face again in the future (as he very well might).
Only date people who want to date you back. Accept nothing less. You and your Hot Pocket deserve it.
Dear Anna: He wants to try anal. I don’t. Like, at all. Do I give in to stop his whining? —Being Anal on Anal
Dear BAA,
It’s your body. That means no asshole can make you do anything you don’t wanna do with your asshole. Tell him to quit his whining or you’ll be happy to indulge him in another ass-related activity: dump.
Dear Anna: My friends-with-benefits (one guy, one girl) have started hooking up on their own. I know I’m not entitled to feel upset about this, but I am! Should I extricate myself from this situation before it gets any messier? —Three’s A Crowd
Dear TAC,
If it makes you that uncomfortable, then by all means, extricate. But you might be missing out on the fun kind of messy. Three may be a crowd, but it’s also a magic number, according to both Schoolhouse Rock and Blind Melon, who I don’t think I have to tell you are two of the utmost authorities on sex in our generation.
Even if you don’t end up making your own version of the holy trinity, I would still talk to your FWBs and tell them how you’re feeling about their hooking up. It’s the adult thing to do, and it will probably help you feel less upset. Communication + ethics + sluttery = another threesome always worth considering.
Anna Pulley is a RedEye contributor.
![So you want to beautify your landscape, improve your community, or celebrate Arbor Day by planting a tree. What could go wrong? Quite a bit, if you make some common mistakes, according to an expert at The Morton Arboretum, the tree-focused public garden in Lisle. “Proper planting is critical,” said Trinity Pierce, who has overseen the planting of thousands of trees as stewardship manager of the Arboretum’s Chicago Region Trees Initiative. “Taking time to do it right can mean decades more life for your tree.” Here are some common tree-planting mistakes to avoid. For step-by-step advice, see mortonarb.org/how-to-plant-a-tree. Digging a […]](https://www.chicagotribune.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CTC-L-home-garden-morton-0425-01.jpg?w=525 "So you want to beautify your landscape, improve your community, or celebrate Arbor Day by planting a tree. What could go wrong? Quite a bit, if you make some common mistakes, according to an expert at The Morton Arboretum, the tree-focused public garden in Lisle. “Proper planting is critical,” said Trinity Pierce, who has overseen the planting of thousands of trees as stewardship manager of the Arboretum’s Chicago Region Trees Initiative. “Taking time to do it right can mean decades more life for your tree.” Here are some common tree-planting mistakes to avoid. For step-by-step advice, see mortonarb.org/how-to-plant-a-tree. Digging a […]")
