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 21st of Slate, at the Incinerator.  "Look at this overseer," Vetinari100 grumbled wiping soot off her face. "This damned thing is blasting smoke out and it's messing with us all down here, especially since you sealed all the passages into the caverns so the smoke can't get out." "I see, a fairly minor design flaw-" Pickled Tink began before he was interrupted. "Not minor. Earlier there was bloody magma mist coming up too. Fortunately none of us was anywhere near it at the time, but that stuff is dangerous as minecarts," Vetinari100 spoke earnestly. "My husband Avlein and I think sticking another hatch on top to seal it while we cycle it would be a good idea," she continued as her jeweller husband nodded furiously next to her. "It's a good idea. You have my permission to fix it, and sorry for the oversight," the overseer said. "Not a problem sir," Vetinari100 said grinning. "I can just grab a few of the others and we can get it all working by tomorrow afternoon." "You might want to put a halt to tossing new stuff into it in the meanwhile though," Avlein added.  ---- 27th of Slate, Bomb-works above the Forges  PotatoManJack grunted as he finally slotted the mechanism into place in the support pillar and looked north over the gap towards Weigieman, who seemed to be struggling. "Oi, ye have to slide it in the other way round and then twist it clockwise half a turn. If ye keep trying to force it like that yer gonna crack the support and Veloxyll will have yer head sent to the overseer," he called out helpfully. Weigieman looked up and gave a grunt and scowled before pulling out the mechanism and putting it in the proper way. "Thanks," he called out enthusiastically when the mechanism locked into place. "That beastie isn't gonna know what hit it," PotatoManjack declared proudly, looking down at the quarry below.. "Dumb thing just sits there, occasionally growling something," Weigieman muttered backing away from the ledge and moving back around the outside of the room towards the entrance. "Makes ye wonder what's going through its mind," replied PotatoManJack as he practically danced down the connecting bridge to rejoin his partner. "I dunno about now," Weigieman said. "But I know the last thing going through its head will be several hundred tons of stone!" he said with a wide grin. PotatoManJack gave Weigieman a grin and called out, "Alright boys! Ye can cut down these support bridges now. We old farts have to go hook the other ends of these up to the levers down below." PotatoManJack stepped to one side as Jabu and LLSix rushed passed them, picks at the ready before he and Weigieman made their way to the stairs. It was only as they reached the stairwell that they saw the passage had been extended deeper into the stone by a fresh mining team. His brow furrowed with confusion. "What’s going on with this?" PotatoManJack asked. "We're digging something we hope will block off the hole Synthorange found in the sterilizer blueprints," Veryslightlymad said, sweat dripping from his long double braided beard as he swung his pick at the rock with the steady rhythm of a seasoned miner. "The blueprints are over there," he said, gesturing to a nearby boulder.  "I hope it'll work," Weigieman said with scepticism in his voice. "Buggered if I know," Veryslightlymad replied as he finally cleared out the stone rubble and advanced. He spent a moment examining the wall before giving a low whistle. "This is Tetrahedrite, unless I miss my guess. Not sure how much use it is but you go tell Veloxyll about it. He's been keeping us working. He'll let the overseer know just in case," he requested before setting his feet and hefting his pick. "Now, if you don't mind, I have work to do," he grunted and swung, sending stone chips flying. ---- 9th of Felsite, The Demesne of Fitzy Fitz, Spectral Thronetoppler. "So Fitzy Fitz, what's it like being a ghost?" lunnrais asked. "Oh, fun enough," the poltergeist said before knocking over the silver throne with a heave.  "I don't understand how you can do that day in and day out for six months and never get tired of it," lunnrais said. "Well, it helps that I don't have much else to do," Fitzy Fitz said with a grin as he picked the throne up again. "Besides, I always hated this throne. They should be made of stone, not metal!" he grumbled. "And no one ever comes down here except you. It's a pointless waste." "I suppose. It just seems like there are better things to do with eternity than kicking over a chair. The overseer for example is trying to make things a bit better around here," she said. "It's been years since I could walk around without treading on a cat." "He's young. Never got a chance to make a mark on the world like us," the ghost explained. "Me? I ran about for an age working stone. I was good at it too. I'm proud to say that my mugs broke more heads than the other way round back in the mountainhomes. I'm content with that for now, and so I do this." lunnrais chucked at that. "I don't think I could do that," she said. "Well, to each their own," the ghost replied before floating in close and whispering conspiratorially, "plus, I just love the look on people’s faces when they see me doing this. Great fun." lunnrais laughed at that. "Wait, did you feel something?" Fitzy Fitz asked? "Sorry Fitzy Fitz, I have work to do," lunnrais said turning to leave. "Are you okay?" asked the ghost. "Yes, I am fine," said LeJackal.  ---- Outside Yemeni Quencanmathe led his pack horse across the tainted earth and into the territory claimed by the dwarves of Bronzestabbed. "I am pleased to see that they no longer defile the surface and it's forests," he said. Emofe Ciyanithe grunted at that as she led her own pack horse around a boulder. "They still leave a dreadful mess. Blood and skeletons everywhere," she said disapprovingly. "Now now, they live in a dangerous place. They cannot risk leaving their citadel to pick up the debris of battle." Yemeni chastened her. "They must be mad to have made their home here. The land to the north is blighted, I just know it," she said, shuddering as she looked north to the river. "I have been here before. The north lands are subject to clouds of green gas they call the murk, and from what they say it twists life into unlife, which is why we came in this way to avoid it," Yemeni explained. "We'd best move it along," said Ari Ayeeletha as she drew past them with her pack horse. "I thought I saw some goblins back in the last pass. We should hurry and warn the dwarves." "That would be wise. At least dwarves can be reasoned with, however crude they may be," Emofe grumbled.  ---- Great Stockpile, above the dining room. "Now now lunnrais, please stop fighting. We have a job to do," LeJackal said to the dwarf he was currently possessing. "I had to pull a lot of strings to get this job, but it was worth it to see the old home again." "What do you want?" asked the possessed dwarf fearfully. "As I said, I wanted to see the Mountainhome again. I've been dead a while. But I'm only here until we can finish a little construction project. Don't ask me what it is, I don't know," LeJackal said. "At least I'm one of us and not some mysterious other spirit from the beyond. All I ever did was for the good of Bronzestabbed." "Like locking away those children?" lunnrais asked. "Who told you about that?" LeJackal demanded. "They were elf sympathisers. And that little bastard Pickled Tink kept damaging my door. Why couldn't he have just slipped his notes in the suggestion box?" "Pickled Tink told us when he became our overseer-" lunnrais started to explain but trailed off as her body rocked to a complete halt. "What did you say?" LeJackal asked fearfully. "Pickled Tink is our overseer now. He's a friendly ghost and Queen Sankis made him overseer eight months ago," she explained, enjoying his discomfort. "I... see," LeJackal replied coldly, turning as though to take a step back towards the stairwell but freezing mid motion. "drat," he grumbled. "It appears that you and I are both bound to this task to the exclusion of all else. That bastard is up to something. I just know it. Sadly, I can't do anything about it," he muttered to her as he resumed walking towards the workshops. When they arrived LeJackal twisted her face into a scowl. "They aren't even being used. That rotten little elf lover has given in to their demands we use less wood hasn't he?!" he growled. "No, I just think he has different projects in hand, like sealing the sterilizer and collapsing parts of its ceiling," she said, laughing at his discomfort. "That little traitor is going to destroy everything!" he shouted to the deserted room. "And I can do nothing to stop him!" "Well then. We should probably get to work on that project of yours, shouldn't we?" lunnrais asked. "I suppose we have no choice," LeJackal grumbled. How had Bronzestabbed fallen so far?  ---- 13 of Felsite, Outside in the Hills. The cat Lokum Earthenriddled stalked her prey, her brown fur blending into the tall dry grass to the east of the fortress. She had already killed and eaten one rat, and soon the cicada would be hers too. Her dwarf, T-man, did not like her going outside the fortress but cats did as they pleased and none more so than Lokum. Finally the moment arrived. She tensed up on her hind legs and wiggled her body to loosen the muscles in preparation for her leap. She heard a fain noise in the distance and the cicada went suddenly silent. Lokum pounced and heard a twang. Suddenly her vision twirled around and she landed on the ground missing her prey. She rolled across the ground oddly and came to rest against a green thing. She realised it was a goblin foot just before everything went dark.  ---- in the hills. Amxu kicked away the severed head of the cat she had shot and waved her ambush party forwards. "Gets to the gates!" she whispered at them fiercely, knowing that the element of surprise was likely gone. The goblins had timed their attack so that the gates would be open for the elven caravan when they arrived, hopefully making it possible to enter the hated dwarves tunnels and kill them. Unfortunately Azstrog, her second in command had demanded a charge on the dwarf positions. It was stupid, as was everything the wretched pile of troll dung had suggested over the years but the rulers had stuck him with her and she couldn't replace him. Well, she mused, she could now. Azstrog lay back in the last valley with an arrow in his eye and a knife in his gut. She still didn't know who had thrown that knife but she admired their initiative. She looked back at the fortress and saw armed figures scrambling along the walls. As expected the cries and horns of alarm rose from the fortress. Amxu looked at her force, twenty goblins strong, and grinned. This time they were prepared. "Getses them! Takeses the gates!" she shouted.  The goblins charged. Pickled Tink fucked around with this message at 07:47 on Jun 28, 2013 |
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Jun 8, 2013 15:32
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13th of Felsite, Fortress courtyard. "GOBLINS!" DorfXaos yelled down from the battlements. "Thank you for the wonderful and informative update DorfXaos," Internet Kraken called back with a scowl. "How about something useful like the kind of gear they are carrying?" "Looks like most of them have bows, though there are a few axes and swords. Oh, and there’s one with a scourge," DorfXaos called back shamefully. "They look pretty good with those bows." "Well poo poo," Internet Kraken grumbled. "You hear that overseer?" "Yeah," Pickled Tink said in a small voice as he floated nearby. "We aren't going to able to fight them overseer. I've never much cared for charging a line of archers and I don't think the rest of the army is going to much care for it either," Internet Kraken growled at the overseer as they reached the massed army at the gates. "I say we close the gates and let the elves take their chances." "They can make it," Pickled Tink insisted. "Well, I hope you're right," Internet Kraken replied. Pickled Tink froze with realisation. "We should clear the courtyard too. The goblins can fire down into it from all around the edges," Pickled Tink said with horror. "poo poo!" Internet Kraken exclaimed. "Clear the civilians out. Get everyone INSIDE!" he yelled to his soldiers. ---- Outside the Gates "See Emofe?" Yemeni called as they rushed towards the gates. "They are going to save us." "Yeah, yeah," Emofe grumbled. "We still have to get there before the goblins." "Well then, perhaps we should run then?" Ari yelled at the two of them. "Oi! You better hurry the hell up!" called a voice from the gates. "We're trying!" Ari yelled back at the voice. "I see wee goblins coming up behind you!" the voice taunted. "Eep! How close are they?" Emofe yelled.  "Well lass, they're coming over that hill there," the voice called back. "I'm Danilh by the way," the dwarf said casually. "Pleased to meet you," Ari yelled back. "I'm Ari, this is Emofe, and the gentleman running along just behind us is Yemeni. Then there’s Lulo, Nino, and Alala. Now that we know each other, please keep the gates open!" the elf yelled as they turned in to the entrance funnel. "Oh aye lass. We even have the soldiers standin' by for ye inside. We aren't gonna come out for ye though. By the bye, the goblins have reached the lake. Ye might want to hurry it up a bit. Takes time for the gates to close," Danilh said cheerfully.  "You're a rotten little poo poo, you know that?" yelled Emofe as they pulled into the fortress and the Sword Gate rose behind them.  "Aye, but I got ye hurrying along didn't I? And yer all alive to enjoy the wonders of hatin' little ol' me," Danilh said with a huge grin on her face as she greeted the elves in person. "Now head inside. Ye can take care of yer horses under cover where the goblins can't take pot-shots at them." "Forgive my companion noble dwarf," Yemeni said wearily. "I, for one, thank you for giving us shelter behind your walls. Is the depot still down this tunnel, or have you moved it again." "Still there, and not a problem. We're not about t' give the goblins anythin' more than a good kickin'" Danilh said with a grin. ---- Outside the gate  "They closed the gateses!" Damsto said with a grumble, scourge at her side. "Of course they closed the gateses!" Amxu growled back. "They fearses us. We don'ts needs to getses in anyways." "Why did we tries to get in then?" asked Bax, another of the bowgoblins "Because we might have getses to kills more dwarfses that way," Amxu said. "Spread outs and killses everything. Get up on the hills, some dwarfses may be out where we can shootses them." ---- 15th of Felsite, Well above the magma pool Hezelius took one last look at the room, making sure it was clear before turning back down the corridor. "Let her go!" she cried "Pulling the lever!" tehsid called back. Sure enough, there was a cloud clanking sound as pistons pumped, the sound running up through the walls or the tunnel around Hezelius as she stood still at a safe distance from the chaos that would shortly ensue. She was still close enough, however, to see the support let go at the end of the corridor and watch the large block of living stone painstakingly quarried over the last weeks begin its first and only voyage down into the deeps.  They had been working on a way to seal the magma access for months. There were several forgotten beasts in the caverns now that appeared to be made of materials strong and resilient enough to withstand even a journey through a magma flooded corridor. Most notable was the latest addition to the group haunting the cavern layer, Reksas the bronze humanoid. Sadly, the fact of the matter was that there were two such corridors from the magma pool that provided magma to the forges and furnaces. One had already been sealed off entirely and this drop would hopefully seal the other. The first gap had been a magma forge in an isolated room fed by a different feeder tunnel. Sealing it had been deemed too dangerous, so it had been deconstructed and plugged instead.  "Wow!" Hezelius breathed as she felt the tunnel seemed to shake around her as it resonated with the loud boom of the liberated stone crashing through the floor of the chamber and down towards the magma below.  tehsid and Hezelius crept back into the chamber after the dust cleared and looked down through the hole the plug had created at the magma pool down below. They hastily ducked back when they saw a mountainous plume of magma mist rising towards them.  The two dwarves dived away from the opening with less than a second to spare, barely evading the incendiary plume as it rose up into the room with them before slowly descending back through the hole and towards the pool below. "Argh! My beard!" tehsid shouted, frantically slapping out the flames in the facial hair he normally kept so neatly combed. "That is the last time I let you talk me into doing something like that," he grumbled. "Oh come on, it was fun!" Hezelius said with a grin. "Well, for you maybe. You don't have a face full of flammable like I do!" tehsid complained, rubbing at the scorchmarks and choking on the smell of his own singed hair. Hezelius simply laughed before peering back down the hole. "Looks like we hit the target. We should probably go tell the overseer the forge tunnels are sealed," she said. "But at what cost," tehsid said sadly, mournfully holding his charred beard. "There there, it'll be good as new before you know it," Hezelius consoled him, patting him gently on the shoulder. ---- 19th of Felsite, Depot watch house barracks. Pladdicus sat in a field of moss in peaceful caverns with his wife ,Loden Taylor, and their daughter, Rothon, by his side. It was so peaceful there amongst the tower caps. He briefly wondered where his son Toiwat was, but that thought passed swiftly. He was just glad to be spending time with them after so long apart. "Wait, what?" his mind wondered. "Why does it feel as if we have been apart for so long?" he asked, but his wife did not answer. She gave him a long sad look and shook her head. His breath caught in his throat as realisation struck him like a blow to the chest. "You-" he began before Loden Taylor cut him off, putting a finger to his lips. Everything around him began to waver as she leaned in close and whispered in his ear. "You will join us here soon," she said as everything went white. Then he felt pain. Incredible pain. His eyes snapped open and his mind started taking in sensation again. He could her the pained whimpering of dogs around him and could even see one nearby limping to the far corner of the room. He was having trouble breathing and rolled over before turning his head down to down at himself and saw the arrow sticking out of his chest.  "Gotses him," a voice cried out victoriously from outside. "Pays up!" "Fines. Takes your stupid goldses!" another voice grunted. "Bets you can't do it again!"  He struggled to sit up in his bed, and slid his crossbow out of his hip holster. As he did, he saw another arrow fly through the western doorway and strike a nearby dog, bowling it over and shattering its leg. He watched the poor thing drag itself away, leaving a streak of blood on the floor, as he tried desperately to crank his crossbow. "That was a dogs!" the second goblin voice shouted victoriously. "Pays up!"  "No! One more shot! Doubles or nothings!" the first voice tried. "Fine!" came the second voice again as Pladdicus put a bolt in his crossbow and began to raise it, aiming out the door.  Pladdicus opened his eyes and saw his wife and daughter where he had left them just minutes earlier. Loden Taylor looked at him with tears in her eyes. "It was your time," she said simply before embracing him. "Could have been worse," he murmured. "I hope Toiwat will be okay without me." Inside the fortress LeJackal was first and foremost a clerk. One does not spend so long studying, using, and enforcing a multi-layered labyrinth of arbitrary and often contradictory rules without learning how to get around them if one needs to. All it usually took is a little patience, knowledge, and effort, and like he had so many times in his past, LeJackal had once again found a way around the rules binding him. He walked back to the workshop he and lunnrais had claimed carrying two objects. Held in one hand was a roll of dog leather for the artifact he and lunnrais were to construct. In the other hand he held something far more important. He held the salvation of the fortress. He would save them all from the ghost child and his evil.
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Jun 11, 2013 16:42
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Huh. So the goblins can stand on a hill right above that tower, and the tower has an open roof area that leads through an open arch to a barracks. Which they can snipe into. Remarkable, I'd never even guessed that was an issue there!
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Jun 11, 2013 18:32
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The Fortifications here seem very much lacking. Who ever designed them should be sent out to war collage. I hear there are several Goblin lecturers outside.
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Jun 12, 2013 07:28
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Oh yeah. I did mean to ring that with fortifications or something. oops.
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Jun 12, 2013 07:31
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Grey Hunter posted:The Fortifications here seem very much lacking. Who ever designed them should be sent out to war collage. Challenge for the next overseer: Build a fortified wall with balista embankments and name it after a Royal Navy Battleship.
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Jun 12, 2013 07:34
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Are you challenging me? I will do it you know, and Bronzestabbed will burn, then sink.
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Jun 12, 2013 08:00
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pre:Ground combat at Bronzestabbed Goblin Sneak attack Attacking force 37 troops, 31 crossbows, 0 vehicles, Assault Value 94 Defending force 18 troops, 3 ballistae, 4 vehicles, Assault Value 250 Goblin engineers reduce fortifications to 7 Goblin adjusted assault: 12 Dwarven adjusted defense: 1487 Goblin assault odds: 1 to 99 (fort level 7) Combat modifiers Defender: terrain(-),forts(+),leaders(+),experience(-),disruption(-),booze(+),supply(+++++) Attacker: leaders(-),preparation(-),supply(-),morale(-),pathing(-) Goblin ground losses: 934 casualties reported Squads: 34 destroyed, 158 disabled Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled Engineers: whoops someone forgot the siege trolls again Crossbows lost: 7 Dwarven ground losses: 220 casualties reported Squads: 4 destroyed, 18 disabled, 2 missing Non Combat: 103 destroyed, 240 disabled, 18 useless nobles Engineers: drunk Elves: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled, unfortunately Animals: 258 slaughtered, 47 adopted, 12 murked Siege weapons lost: 0
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Jun 12, 2013 08:26
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I think I may just have found my gimmick.....
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Jun 12, 2013 08:35
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Has anyone seen my kitty?
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Jun 12, 2013 08:47
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SynthOrange posted:Has anyone seen my kitty? Go flash somebody else.
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Jun 12, 2013 14:45
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SynthOrange posted:Has anyone seen my kitty? Has anyone NOT seen your kitty?
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Jun 12, 2013 16:22
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20th of Felsite, Outside.  "There are dwarfses on that tower! Shootses them!" Amxu yelled to her archers. A dwarven head popped over the side of the tower and looked down at the massed goblins. "No! Don't shootses us!" the child yelled back at the goblins, his moustache and beard waving with the unmistakable signs of dwarven fear, or hunger. "Get your head back in here Johnny Aztec!" came another dwarven voice. "But Senae! There are goblins down there talking about shooting at us!" Johnny Aztec complained, staring down at Amxu and her squad. "If you don't pull your head back in, you'll lose it, and then what will I tell your parents?" Senae explained frantically. The dwarven child pulled his head back in to safety. "Fine," he grumbled. For her part, Amxu looked at her archers with an expression that mixed exasperation and horror. "Why didn't you shootses the dwarf?!" she demanded as the massed archers looked down at their feet shamefully. "It asked nicely?" a voice called meekly from the back. "Who said that?!" Amxu demanded. "It was Smunstu," murmured another goblin. "Smunstu! Come forward!" she yelled angrily.  Amxu buried her face in her hands and wept as three goblin bowmen stepped forward. ---- 20th of Felsite, Trade Depot. IceClaw walked into the depot, a pair of gloves clutched in his hand. lunnrais had handed them to him a few minutes earlier as she passed him in the tunnels, suggesting that the elves might pay a high price for them. Indeed their craftdwarfship was masterful, with solid stitching on good leather, and bands of a light dark stone encircling the wrists. The triumphant chuckle as she had walked off carrying a bunch of rough pipe opals was strange, but IceClaw paid it no mind. He had a job to do. He entered the depot with a grin on his face. "Welcome to Bronzestabbed Yemeni," he said cheerfully to the leading Elf. "Thank you, it is very kind of you to offer us shelter in your walls while goblins run about making a mess," the Elf merchant had replied with a grin of his own.  "Perhaps we should get down to trading. I am afraid that it is not my usual strength, I tend to spend my time here linking things to levers, and then watching other people pull those levers," Iceclaw stated. "Well then," Yemeni said with a predatory grin. "With that understood I have no problem getting straight to trading." And so it had gone, back and forth. IceClaw had been persuaded to trade several bins worth of lead toys for a similar number of bins full of rope reed cloth. The next round of trading had been more cutthroat, and ended with a trade of old clothing for elven wines. Yemeni smiled at that. "You think we do not know these are poor quality goods? We sell them on to the humans, who have no idea of their value. Also, we occasionally use them to bait kobold traps. An old sock from this Mountainhome can lure up to five of the sneaky devils to their doom before the sight of their fellows corpses outweighs their greed," he laughed. It was only in the last round of trading that IceClaw offered the gloves lunnrais had handed him in the passage. He was attempting to purchase an Eagle and a King snake, pricy and rare specimens that he believed the fortress had a use for. It was only when Yemeni turned away from him and gave a harsh call to Emofe and Ari and showed them the gloves that a feeling of dread began to form in his gut. "How dare you offer us this which used to be a tree?!" Yemeni demanded. "What?!" IceClaw had protested. "These bands. They are wood from a black cap!" Yemeni accused. "I thought it was stone!" he tried desperately. "If I had known it was wood I would never have offered it to you. Just someone said you might like it is all." "Your overseer?" Ari demanded, jabbing him in the chest with one of her fingers. "No, just one of the marksdwarves!" IceClaw replied. "Come to think of it, she's been acting a bit funny lately-" "It doesn't what the cause is!" Emofe interrupted. "This insult cannot be ignored." "But-" IceClaw tried desperately. "No. Emofe is right. As soon as you allow us passage, we ill be leaving, goblins or no," Yemeni said sadly.  "I'm sorry," IceClaw said sadly. "I know, but even if the blame does not lie with you, it is not something our honour allows us to drop. Perhaps we will return next year. perhaps not. Farewell dwarf," Yemeni replied sadly. ---- 26th of Felsite, Inside the Sterilizer. Zikath sat next to the strange block of unworked stone as it had for several months. <Thefin?> it cried with a dull roar. <Where are you? You said you'd be here.> After the first week of its fruitless attempts to contact Thefin, Zikath had spent some time examining the room for an exit. It had found several possible exits that appeared to have been sealed away with hurried, crude, and as his clawing had proved, formidable barriers. They appeared as strong as the living stone itself, perhaps even stronger. There was a curious contraption of lumpy bricks that provided access to another level of the room, but that too had proven useless. It could see the magma from there, but the exits from that area were also clearly sealed. Ever since then it had remained motionless as it listened to the sounds of the tasty bearded ones. It was hard to make them out through so much stone, but it could hear the unmistakable sounds of construction that had drawn it to this region of the caverns in the first place. The creatures were strange, thinking they had some sort of way to hurt him even through the solid stone. It wasn't quite sure what the tasty ones were up to, but it was starting to suspect the large chunk of raw stone was their doing. The dust on the ground was too thick and full of gravel to have built up naturally. It was only as it heard the tasty ones tone change to excitement, followed by silence that Zikath realised that it may be in danger. A sudden loud clank ran through the stone above the ceiling, and there was a loud snapping noise. Zikath turned to look and saw the cavern ceiling above the first of the funny stick things collapse as a giant slab of unworked stone drove down into the room and through the floor, obliterating the stick thing. It turned and roared in fear as the giant stone block slammed to a halt below and a blast of dust and air swept through the room.  The rushing air swept through the room lifting even Zikath’s prodigious bulk off the smooth stone floor and slammed it about before flinging it down into the pool of water it had emerged from. Two large stone objects bounced off its scaled hide as it tumbled out of control through the water, though the fluid robbed them of any meaningful force.   After a few moments the creature managed to right itself and stop its tumbling. It saw the brand new pillar of unworked stone and finally realisation struck. <Thefin?!> the creature roared with anguish as it clawed at the bottom of the original pillar.<Don't worry Thefin, I'll save you!> it cried tearfully. It kept at this for another half hour until it finally found a small fragment of Thefin’s head, crushed almost beyond recognition. It would have recognised its friends stone anywhere there. <Thefin! No!> It roared, clutching the crushed and destroyed lump of chert tearfully. How dare the tasties kill its friend Zikath thought, storming around the room and destroying everything. The strange blocky things were the first to go, then the odd block thing with strange writing on it, though it had no idea what the words "Asehujiko" or "Zaodai" on it meant. It did understand murder, and paced around the room restlessly.  It was then that it heard another nearby blast and water splashed up into the room through the holes it had entered from. The sound was followed by the sound of tasty thing cursing, as though whatever it was had not had the desired result.   It dived back down into the water to investigate the damage and realised that it had been a very stupid beast. By entering the tasty things home the way it had, and then just sitting still, it had given the tasty ones time to try and trap and kill it as they had its friend Thefin. It gave one final roar of defiance as it fled the chamber and retreated to a safe distance in the northern part of the caverns. <Thefin will be avenged! This I swear!> its snarling voice rang out, echoing from the walls, its voice joined by the other beasts lurking in the caverns.  ---- 1st of Hematite, Dining Room. It was election day, and through it all HUNDREDHOGS had been up on a table in the dining room boldly asserting that she, and only she, was capable of performing the duties of the fortress Mayor. "So you see," she said boldly. "My opponent has no mayoring experience whatsoever Can you really trust a person who has never been a mayor to be your mayor? She hasn't even stated her policy on crime. She probably wants a return to the days when cages were the norm and our people died in prison. Remember Zaodai? Remember Qword? Both victims of the broken prison system she probably supports!" "That's a load of murk!" her opponent, Kalman, cried from atop another table. "I have only the utmost respect for the finest traditions of Bronzestabbed!" she retorted. "The finest traditions of Bronzestabbed?!" HUNDREDHOGS scoffed. "You haven't even been here for a year? What would you know of our traditions?" "I know that we are the sword of The Rare Ship, that we stand here united against the murk and the evils that plague us. That we listen to all voices, be they young or old, be they living or even dead. Never have I seen a settlement, dwarf, elf, or human, that would treat its ghosts like fellow citizens," she said. "I am proud to be a member of the noble work." "Bold words," HUNDREDHOGS said walking down the table. "I just hope that my fellow dwarves can see through them and realise your hollow sentiment for what it is." "And I hoped ye wouldn't step in me roast, but it looks like neither of us is gonna get our wish today," salttotart grumbled up at her, pushing aside his spoiled roast of minced plump helmet, freshly garnished with boot print. "It is the duty of the mayor to hold meetings with foreign representatives and counsel depressed dwarves. You have failed in both those duties. You failed to smooth over the issue with the Elves at the depot after the unfortunate wood banded glove incident, and I heard the other day from Enzer that when she needed your help to deal with the stress of cave adaption and long patrol you told her to, and I quote, cheer up," Kalman accused.  "Yeah," Enzer shouted angrily. "I needed help and you were too busy sampling the latest batch of ale to bother." "Lies and slander!" HUNDREDHOGS cried, waving her hands. "And that is time!" called Leperfish from his seat in the middle of the room. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to vote. Please hand in your forms when you are ready. There are charcoal markers at either end of the hall." It took several hours for the dwarves to file their forms with Leperfish. It would have been quicker, but many were busy with jobs that could not be delayed, and would only come in once their shifts ended. Fortunately Leperfish had rejected calls by HUNDREDHOGS to close the polls early. "Democracy requires everyone to vote that wishes to vote," he had said calmly, looking the mayor in the eyes. "But-" HUNDREDHOGS had tried. "No buts. If we are to use this system, we must use it properly." HUNDREDHOGS had walked off after that grumbling, but reluctantly agreeing that it was probably for the best. This agreement became more emphatic once she realised a goodly number of her supporters were out for most of the day on patrol around the fortress to ensure no goblins would be able to cause trouble if they found a way in. It was a couple of hours before midnight that the final vote was submitted and Leperfish returned to his office to begin his count. Curious onlookers were warded off by Koorisch and Terror storm, the two axedwarves ensuring no one tried to tamper with the ballots. At midnight Leperfish returned to the dining room. "The votes are in," Leperfish announced calmly to the small crowd, most dwarves having gone to bed earlier content to find out the result in the morning. "Well then?" HUNDREDHOGS demanded. "What's the result?" "Kalman wins, 156 votes to 114," Leperfish declared. "WHAT?!" HUNDREDHOGS shouted. "I have counted twice HUNDREDHOGS," Leperfish scolded her. "I wasn't casting aspersions on you Leperfish, I just have trouble believing that so many would vote for someone new," HUNDREDHOGS replied "It appears that the dwarves of Bronzestabbed desired change. I inform the overseer of your change in status immediately." Leperfish said to HUNDREDHOGS before turning to face Kalman. "Congratulations on your victory Kalman." "Thank you Leperfish," she said, her face shining with pride. She was shocked, however, when HUNDREDHOGS came up to her and shook her hand. "Good luck, you'll need it," HUNDREDHOGS said with a faint smile. "Oh, and Congratulations."  
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Jun 14, 2013 18:40
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Oh, HUNDREDHOGS. The world was not ready yet for your electoral platform of "building enormous corkscrews" and "inserting enormous corkscrews into bottles of wine" and "drinking the wine." What have we done?!
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Jun 14, 2013 20:16
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I always wanted to be a politician.
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Jun 14, 2013 20:36
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Kalman posted:I always wanted to be a politician. , he said as he was being lowered into the lava.
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Jun 14, 2013 21:21
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TildeATH posted:, he said as he was being lowered into the lava. I laughed too hard at this
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Jun 15, 2013 17:49
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2nd of Hematite, Original diggings. Rather Watch Em stood and glared at the five and a half ton Ogress a single stride from her face. "I'm not afraid of you!" she shouted at it drunkenly, beer in hand.  "RAAAARGH!" the Ogress shouted, hurling herself at the puny little dwarf, who did not so much as flinch as the Ogress crashed into the bars of her zinc cage. "Yeah, that's what I thought! You've no mind, no purpose," she taunted the Ogress. "Me! I have a job! An important one! I make sure everyone is fed when they get hurt! I make sure everyone gets a drink too!" she yelled, taking another swig of her beer. "RAAAAAARGH!" the Ogress yelled back while making a rude gesture at Rather Watch Em. "Oh that's how you wanna play it eh?" Rather Watch Em growled, taking another swing from her beer before stepping up to the cage and spitting it in the Ogresses face. "RAAAAAAAAARG!" the Ogress screamed in rage, smashing against the cage and toppling it towards the dwarf. "Watch it you over muscled fat stupid ogre!" Rather Watch Em shouted as she dived out of the way before the cage could crush her. "OOOOOW!" the Ogress cried painfully as she lay against the bars of her cage holding her head and dripping with beer. "Well... That wasn't the smartest thing I have ever done," Rather Watch Em muttered, suddenly feeling very sober indeed. "Waste of good booze," she grumbled looking down at her spilled mug sadly. ---- 5th of Hematite, near the Depot. lunnrais struggled against her possessor as LeJackal laughed inside her head. "Victory!" he crowed. "Soon the elves will be gone and the fortress will be safe," LeJackal crowed inside her skull as they lugged a large lump of malachite ore. "Why don't you just use a wheelbarrow?" an animal caretaker named Kennel asked her as they passed the depot. "I needed the exercise," LeJackal said with her voice. "Forgive me, but that sounds like a really, really, dumb reason," Kennel said sceptically. "But it sounds better than ensuring that I take as much time to do a task I must do and bring me past the trade depot to ensure that my plan has come to fruition, right?" LeJackal replied. "Well, it does. That isn't what you're doing right?" Kennel asked. "No, not even slightly. Just getting some exercise, as I said." LeJackal said with a grin. "You want some help?" he asked. "No thanks. Everything is fine," LeJackal replied, continuing to trudge down the corridor. Why are you doing this? lunnrais screamed at LeJackal inside her own head. Why do you hate elves and the overseer so much? "Because they are evil!" LeJackal snarled, drawing some nervous glances as they moved down the hall. Pickled Tink has been overseer for almost a year now. His term is almost up! lunnrais argued. "Then I may be too late then to stop him," LeJackal muttered, more quietly. He hasn't done anything to hurt us! lunnrais tried. "That you have seen. He is crafty and subtle, like the elves he serves," LeJackal whispered. Have you ever considered the possibility that you're crazy? lunnrais asked. LeJackal paused for a moment, just outside the workshop where the materials had been assembled and thought for a moment. "No... I don't think I am," he said at last. Well I think you are! lunnrais shouted at him inside their head. "Well, it doesn't matter now. That malachite was the last thing we needed. Time to get to work," he said. And then you'll be out of my head and I'll be free?" lunnrais asked. "Yes. Now let’s get to this," LeJackal said as they settled down to work while at the same time fearing just how deeply the rot had spread. It might not be enough to chase the elves off. More drastic measures may be needed.  ---- 8th of Hematite, Depot watch house barracks.  "Ah bugger!" Internet Kraken yelled as He, Gnu Sheriff in Town, and AmishSpecialForces entered the barracks to find a scene of blood and chaos. "Looks like dog blood sir," AmishSpecialForces said casually. "Then would you like to explain the corpse of our good friend Pladdicus in that bed over there? I can wait," Gnu Sheriff in Town growled angrily.  "Well, the dogs always did like him, maybe they tried to protect him?" AmishSpecialForces shrugged. "Maybe," Internet Kraken muttered, thinking that while it was true that AmishSpecialForces intuition was something to write home about, it was not in a good way. How she had survived military service this long was beyond him. "Well-" AmishSpecialForces started before Internet Kraken silenced her with a gesture. "Thought I heard something," Internet Kraken whispered, moving towards the door. Suddenly something flickered in the corner of his eye and he threw up his steel buckler to protect his face. His instincts were rewarded with the loud and heavy thud of an arrow strike.  "drat! You gots lucky dwarfs!" an evil voice shouted from above. "Just stayses there. I wantses a do-over!" "Get out of here!" Internet Kraken yelled, bolting from the room, AmishSpecialForces and Gnu Sheriff in Town hot on his heels. "Aww! Comes back dwarfses! I promise to only killses you a little!" the voice cried from out of sight. "Piss off!" Internet Kraken shouted angrily back at the goblin above, his heart pounding in his chest. "Ok, that place is off limits until those goblins bugger off." ---- 17th of Hematite, Overseers office. Pickled Tink floated at his desk looking at a series of maps depicting the lower mines, making notes with a charcoal marker. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Leperfish asked him, shaking his head worriedly. "There are dreadful rumours about adamantine." "I'm sure," the ghost said. "Previous overseers were a bit too over cautious with mining the existing deposits. They only mined areas that couldn't possibly hold a hollow section when viewed from each level. Comparing the levels above and below lets us shave even more off the spires. I have already ordered a goodly chunk shaved off the one down below the magma forges," the ghost explained.  "And this here is another example of being too cautious," he said, gesturing to another diagram.  "I haven't had time to look at the other spires, but I think i can safely shave off another 40, maybe 50 chunks of ore without any major issues. I'm not about to use any of it, but it would be nice to have it there for future overseers," the ghost finished. "It is just exceedingly dangerous for you to be doing this. We don't really know much about the metal and its formations. What if something goes wrong?" Leperfish tried. "It won't," Pickled Tink replied. "You don't know that, do you have anything that can stop a disaster from occurring if there's an accident?" Leperfish asked. "Well... not as such," Pickled Tink admitted. "There you are then. You are putting the fortress at risk," Leperfish explained. "I don't think I am. Can you argue with any of these mining orders?" the ghostly overseer asked. "Not as such, no," Leperfish replied. "The reasoning is sound, it is just that terrible disasters have occurred in the name of sound reasoning. Ripewhips for example," he pointed out to the ghost, who flinched and looked away. After a few moments silence, the ghostly overseer looked up at Leperfish again. "Ok, you're right. I won't order any more invasive digs until a sealing mechanism is created," he said at last. "Thank you overseer," Leperfish said. "Now there are some oddities in the armour tallies that I'd like to-" Leperfish began before the door was kicked open and Tectonis rushed in. She was breathing heavily and covered in soot from the forges. "Overseer!" she cried, then noticing Leperfish as well she continued, "and Leperfish. Another forgotten beast has shown up! A bloody coral elephant"  "Well, the third caverns are well sealed," Pickled Tink said in soothing tone. "The thing can't possibly get in." "It's in the first caverns, sir," Tectonis said. "I'm not entirely sure that those caverns are secure. It took eight months to track down every entrance from the second and third caverns, I haven't had much time to inspect the first," the overseer said to Leperfish. "I've done my best with exploring them too, and even sealed a few potential entryways that could be used by fliers, but I can't be sure." "Well, if it comes, it comes. There’s another beast in those caverns, some sort of fire lizard as I recall. It has been there for years, so I doubt there are any ways in down there," Leperfish said to reassure the ghost, who looked at him and gave him a wry grin. "Weren't you the one who just advised me against assuming it was safe?" he asked. "I'll ask the military to make a sweep. They are crafty dwarves, if there’s a way into those caverns they'll find it," Pickled Tink said more cheerfully. "Thank you overseer," Tectonis said as she turned to leave. "So Leperfish, what is it about missing armour?" the overseer asked. "Well, we have reports of a bronze gauntlet and breastplate going missing. Larz swears it is ghosts," Leperfish explained.   "It might be, I have sensed a few more around here of late. I can ask them to knock it off if I find them," Pickled Tink offered. "Thank you, overseer. Now if you don't mind, I have records to update." "And I'll get on that ghost thing," Pickled Tink replied before floating down through the floor. ---- 27th of Hematite, Carpenters workshops. "It is done," LeJackal said with awe in his voice.  "It's a bucket," lunnrais replied, her own voice sounding less than impressed. It took a moment or two for her to realise she had actually been able to speak. She raised her hands hesitantly and found she was truly freed from the former overseers ghost. She looked down at the object on the bench before her and try as she might, she could not deny the skill of its construction. Instinctively she knew its name, though neither her nor her hijacker had given it one. "Takencombined," she said in a whisper.  "Well, now that that's done I'm going to get a decent meal and a decent drink," she said, tossing the bucket over her shoulder and hearing it bounce off behind a workbench somewhere. She didn't particularly care where the accursed thing had gone. It had brought her nothing but trouble. "If I never see that thing again it will be too soon," she grumbled. ---- Inside an empty hospital room. The room was empty and had been for years. A layer of dust covered everything, the bed, the table, and even the engravings on the floor were almost invisible under the thick carpet of dust. It was here that a figure slowly faded into visibility. "I wasn't actually sure that would work," LeJackal murmured to himself before moving over and sealing the doorway.   There was not much time. He had work to do if he was to save the fortress from the elven conspirators. Bronzestabbed needed him now more than ever. He took one look around the room before closing his eyes and focusing his power on the elves. ---- 8th of Malachite, Leperfish's office. "Well, I found the ghosts responsible for stealing the stuff," Pickled Tink said as he floated through the door. "Don't take this the wrong way overseer, because I greatly appreciate you using the door instead of just floating in through a wall or floor, but could you please knock? You move very silently and I am worried you might one day scare the life out of me by jumping out of a door as I’m opening it," Leperfish said, heart pounding in his chest. "Sorry Leperfish," the overseer replied apologetically. "I'm not angry, just try not to do it again please," Leperfish said. "So, you said you found those ghosts?" he asked, trying to get back to business. "Yeah, as expected it was Strom Cuzewon and Bemis who are responsible," Pickled Tink started to explain. "Strom is floating about out in the second cavern layer. I think she enjoys dropping things on the bugbats."   "The other one, Bemis, is hanging out in an old shaft above the sterilizer," Pickled Tink continued.   "Are they going to be a problem?" Leperfish asked. "I asked them not to steal anything else, but they wouldn't give me any promises," Pickled Tink replied. "I'm not really sure what to do with them to be honest," he sighed. "If they continue to be more than a minor nuisance I'll have them put back to rest, but for the moment I don't see the harm for the moment." "Well, it is your call overseer," Leperfish said. "At least they aren't killing people like Qword," he muttered. ---- 12th of Malachite, sealed hospital room. LeJackal continued to focus his power on the elves. They had resisted mightily, but that was to be expected of practitioners of the forest magics. They may well be powerful but they could not possibly match his undead stamina. He had assailed them with nightmares every sleeping moment, and afflicting them with hallucinations while they were awake. Bugs, strange shadows, whispers in the dark, all were his to command. He felt the pressure build, as it had since he had turned his thoughts to this course of actions. The elves were evil liars, something they demonstrated by lying to the dwarves of the Mountainhome. Despite their stated desire to leave they had stayed within the fortress. Some had even started wandering the upper levels as though searching for something. Oh sure, they claimed to be trying to locate an exit, but he knew better than to believe the word of an elf. His suspicions were vindicated when two elves headed down the screw stairwell towards the deeper levels, claiming to be looking for the overseer. He was dragged from his thoughts as he felt and half heard a mental snap and the pressure vanished. He redirected his attention to his enemies and found their thoughts were incoherent rubbish. "So they have found a way to seal their thoughts from me, have they?" he murmured, turning his attention to gaze upon an elf woman. Strange, he could see her fine, but everything around her was blurry. What trickery was this? He turned his attention to another and when he saw him being mercilessly savaged by his own horse LeJackal realised the truth.  He had driven them all mad. Despite himself, LeJackal grinned. Pickled Tink fucked around with this message at 10:38 on Jun 18, 2013 |
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Jun 17, 2013 17:29
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Being attacked from above, below, and within. Wonderful.
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Jun 18, 2013 03:16
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Wait, what drove the elves mad? Being handed a single wooden box? Not being let out due to goblins? Some forgotten beastie with a madness inducing syndrome?
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Jun 18, 2013 04:16
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Ardeem posted:Wait, what drove the elves mad? Being handed a single wooden box? Not being let out due to goblins? Some forgotten beastie with a madness inducing syndrome? Number two, by the looks of it. Getting trapped in a fortress full of psychopathic dwarves lead by a ghostly child will do that to you.
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Jun 18, 2013 04:23
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Ardeem posted:Wait, what drove the elves mad? ME.
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Jun 18, 2013 04:38
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I'm curious where the weapon/armor artifacts are. We haven't seen them in action yet, that crossbow is going to be like a machine gun and I want to see a screenshot of 10 arrows in the air at once.
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Jun 18, 2013 21:39
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Eh, it's dwarf fortress. The dwarf with the artifact crossbow will neglect to bring any bolts and go into battle using it like a whiffle ball bat.
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Jun 19, 2013 02:21
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I thought that crossbow got given to the Hammerer so they wouldn't murder people.
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Jun 19, 2013 02:31
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12th of Malachite Inside the screw stairwell. Internet Kraken heard a whinny of rage on the stairs above him and rushed to meet the threat. It was only when he arrived at the next flight of stairs and looked the insane horse in the eyes that he realised he had forgotten to get his weapon this morning. "Oh bugger," he muttered as the beast charged him. He dodged aside, careful to avoid the gaping abyss off to his right as the creature ran headlong into the wall. He turned and looked about in shock as the creature stood up and shook its head before giving another whinny of rage and turned towards him once more. "Ngalak, I don't know if you're listening but I could really use some help," he growled as the creature raced towards him once again and reared up to stamp him with its front feet. Internet Kraken dodged backwards as the horse kicked out, its hoof passing through the spot his head had occupied moments before. "Well, I heard the gods help those who help themselves!" he shouted, jumping in at the horse and punching it in the side of the head with all of his strength. He was pleasantly surprised to see the horse take a step to one side and shake its head with confusion. "Not much fun getting hit in the face is it?!" he yelled at the enraged horse as it focused its attention back on him. "Well, if you liked that one so much, have another!" he shouted, catching it on the nose with another punch, driving it back a few steps until it was standing right on the precipice of the drop. Internet Kraken had not survived as militia leader for so long without being able to recognise and exploit an opportunity, and dived in under the enraged equine as it reared up again on its hind legs and lifted its back left leg off the ground. The horse gave one final hate-filled whinny as it toppled down the gaping shaft. "Bloody animal!" he shouted as an elf walked slowly down the stairs to his floor and open the doorway to the screw. "You keep your bloody animals under control in here, you hear me?!" he shouted, but the elf ignored him, walking inside without bothering to close the door. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" Internet Kraken shouted, chasing the elf inside. He got through the door just in time to see the elf step off into the abyss of the central shaft. ---- At the bottom of the Screw. "Whoever ordered the production of more soap knew what they were doing," serelon muttered to herself happily. "I'm clean for the first time in months, and there is less and less vomit to worry about. Soon the fortress will be pristine again, and I won't have to worry about my patients dying from infections because we can't hold down our lunches while we operate," she said to herself happily, a bar of soap clutched in her hands. She heard a noise as she reached the stairwell shaft next to the screw. It almost sounded like a dwarf hitting a wall. She rushed towards the screws base itself and heard the meaty banging draw nearer before something landed before her and exploded, showering her in gore.   "Yeeeargh!" serelon shrieked as she wiped blood off her face and saw leaking body parts scattered all about her. "Are you alright? What happened here?" a young planter named Tarox asked her as he ran up to her and saw the bloody scene. "I don't know!" serelon shrieked. "Blood! Blood everywhere! Yeargh!" she continued her shrieking, waving her hands around, spraying the surroundings in gore before slumping to the ground. "Are you alright?" Tarox asked her again, more comfortingly. "The gods hate me," she said beginning to cry. "What? If they hated you surely whatever that was would have landed on you," he said, befuddled. "Do you have any idea how long it is going to take to get clean?!" she said, wiping tears from her eyes before looking him in his, letting him see her despair. ---- 20th of Malachite, Overseers office. Pickled Tink floated in his office with a scowl on his face, looking at Phuzzy and Dirty Frank while Leperfish looked on. "What the hell happened?" Pickled Tink demanded. "I have no idea. One minute Yonali was chatting with me about what we were doing down in that excavation above the screw, the next he was trying to strangle me," Phuzzy said shaking his head. "The Bastard even broke my nose!" he grumbled. "I tried everything," Dirty Frank said. "He fought like a demon. He didn't even stop when I buried my mace in his chest so I hit him in the head. I had no choice!" he explained hurriedly. "You tried everything?" the overseer asked. "I looked that elf in the eyes. There was nobody there. It was like he was a husk filled with rage. I've never seen anything like it before," Dirty Frank continued. The ghost stared at him for a moment before shaking his head sadly. "Well, it's not just you, at least," Pickled Tink said at last. "Sunbro, Gowby, and Wales Grey had to kill an insane horse in the courtyard, and Internet Kraken barely survived another attacking him in the screw stairwell. It looks like every elf and all their horses have gone insane, all at once. Have any of you ever heard of anything like this?" he asked. "Some dwarves have been stricken with madness in the past," Leperfish said thoughtfully. "Those that attacked behaved very much like Yonali and those horses. Fortunately the others do not seem to be so dangerous. There's an elf leading her horse around in circles in our old pasture area. Rumda tried for an hour to get her to respond, but nothing worked. The horse is similarly crazed," he explained. "One alone would be understandable, but every single elf in the Mountainhome being driven mad all at once, as well as their pack animals, suggests a supernatural origin," Leperfish suggested. "I had nothing to do with this," Pickled Tink said defensively. "I liked the elves!" he said sadly. "But you are not the only ghost in Bronzestabbed, are you?" Leperfish asked reproachfully. "None of the other ghosts would do this either," Pickled Tink said quietly, chastened by Leperfish's tone. "And have you met all the other ghosts?" Leperfish asked. "Well... No. Some of them are hard to find, and there’s one that doesn't want to be found. That one is well hidden," he shrugged. "It could have been one of them, I guess I can spend more time tracking them down," the ghost said. "I don't even understand why anyone would do that." "Trying to figure out why someone is doing something doesn't work very well until you know who you are dealing with," Leperfish explained patiently. "In other business, overseer, Kalman has issued her first mandate.  "Socks. Wonderful," Pickled Tink said flatly. "Don't public officials have anything better to do than demand pointless work?" "Not in my experience," Leperfish replied with a tired grin. ---- 15th of Malachite, Training rooms.  "These," Internet Kraken said, gesturing at the cages in each of the rooms. "Are here to remind you of what the enemy is. It is out hope that seeing these creatures behind bars will allow you to hold your nerve when seeing them in person," he explained. "You's just being mean. Letses us go!" cried a goblin from one of the cages. "Yeah! Letses us go. We's learned our lessons!" cried another from the next room. "I promises to not crush dwarf skulls with a mace anymore. Swords only from now on, crosses my hearts and hopes to die," called out another. "Shut up!" Internet Kraken yelled at them. "Sir, are you sure this is a good idea?" Ugly Ducklett asked. "Not entirely, but it isn't a bad one. If nothing else, you will learn to hate these creatures as much as I do," Internet Kraken replied. "Yay! We's haves somethings in common!" called a voice from the nearby cage. "Does this makeses us friends? Will you letses us go now?" "No!" Internet Kraken shouted back. "Mean dwarfses," said one goblin voice. "Mean, mean dwarfses," another agreed. Internet Kraken took a deep, calming breath. "I also hope that it will make you train harder. Just imagine you are trying to disembowel them while sparring. Wonderful motivation," he said with an evil grin. "Now get to it." ---- 3rd of Galena, Outside.  "Bronzestabbed should be just over this hill," Othin said.   "You said that about the last hill," Adus replied grumpily.   "And the one before that," Flakey said flatly.   "And the one before that," Erek added, grinning.   "Well this time I'm certain of it!" Othin grumbled. "You said THAT last time as well," Erek replied. "I just want to be able to put my feet up and rest. It's been a long journey and I think my feet have blisters," Adus said. "We'll get there when we get there," Skasion said grumpily.   "Now now, no need to be grumpy," chided Hello Kitty 5000. "I'm sure Othin is right this time."   "What makes you think that?" Flakey asked. "Well, maybe the giant tower I can see up ahead, or maybe that big bronze tower thing that looks like a sword hilt," Hello Kitty 5000 said with a grin on her face. "You got lucky this time!" Flakey called out after Othin. "Believe what you like," Othin said with a fresh grin. "What I don't understand is the rumours of danger about this place. I expected something more threatening, but we haven't seen a thing since we left Bookteacher," Toplowtech said suspiciously.   "Theys onto us!" came a whispered voice off to one side. "Who said that?" Adus called out. "Uhhh... The wind?" came back another whisper. "Nothing to worry about then!" Othin said boldly striding onwards. "Um, I think that might be a bad idea-" Flakey started when bow goblins erupted from the undergrowth around them and appeared atop the hill.  "No need to panic," Othin said cheerfully. "You're just here to show us in, aren't you?" "This isn't like Ripewhips! They don't like goblins here!" Flakey whispered in Othins ear fiercely as the goblins looked at one another, confused. "I just want to take my final moments to say that I hate you all and this is all Toplowtech's fault," Adus said glumly. "Seconded," said Skasion just before the goblins opened fire. ---- 14th of Galena, Outside.   From the Journal of Ithbi, Noble Minotaur. It took years of effort, but my grandmother finally gave me the location of the dwarven settlement wherein my younger sister Bulifo was last seen. I confess, I am here as much for trying to find my missing family as I am for escaping her increasingly amorous advances. I do not know why she is so interested in me, after all, she never approved of my leaving to get an education. It is my hope that one day I will be free of the curse that is our culture that prizes a family tree of few branches. If only the other races would not attack me on sight, I am growing weary of the violence. Fortunately, a large group of green violent things departed as I arrived, so hopefully this will prove to be a peaceful venture. After I find Bulifo and say my farewells, and pass on grandmothers message to "Get back here, yer behind on yer breedin duties" I shall be headed north, hopefully there I can find lands of enlightment. ----  20th of Galena, Trade depot. "Well this," Suque Thuthudipug said pointing at his injured leg, "I got fighting a Minotaur!" "Wow!" said the assembled dwarven children. "Yes! A mighty Minotaur, with what must have been close to half a ton of muscle, came upon our caravan. We had fewer guards than usual because we couldn't bring our wagons in, so there I was, almost alone and facing the great beast as it approached us." he said, waving his hands around for emphasis.  "Does it hurt?" asked exercu, shaking her head with wonder. "Of course, but you dwarves make such fine spirits that a mans constitution is bouyed to the point where they are not concerned with mere pain!" he complimented them. "What happened?" asked A124! "The beast spoke some words in its foul tongue as it approached, holding its hands up threateningly," he said, holding up his hands an imitating the beasts open palmed gesture. "I warned it to stay back, or it would face us in battle." "Oooh! Brave!" said Dirt with a grin. "The beast did not heed our words, instead coming closer and speaking more in its heathen tongue," Suque continued. "And then it attacked you?" Veekie asked excitedly. "I did not give the beast a chance. I jumped in and stabbed at it with my spear. How the fell beast roared at that, spitting unintelligable curses at me," he said to the cheers of the children.  "We faced each other, testing each other’s resolve with our eyes. The beast must have known it was no match for me, for it fled to the north. I could not let it be, for the beast was obviously pursuing the pack animals and merchants," he stated boldly, drawing appreciative oohs and aahs from the crowd. "Did you stop him?" Yamtaggler asked, his young cobalt eyes filled with wonder. "I charged after him, and so did my friend and comrade in arms Mori, who helped cut the best off and herd him away from the merchants. I myself ran the beast through several times until it was left on its knees near your lake outside, but it managed to kick me in the leg and cause me my injury," he said, gesturing out down past the trade depot and out through the tunnel. "Did it beg for mercy?" Factory Factory asked excitedly. "Who can tell with the foul beast and it's evil speech? For all we know, it could have been attempting to call a curse down upon us all for so harming it. I'd like to think it did," Suque said. "Fearful of a curse, and knowing my leg may not be able to support me for much longer, I drove my spear through the foul creature’s chest one final time. Even then, the beast seemed to not feel the wound, reaching for me with both hands until I withdrew my spear and it collapsed at last."  "Yay!" cried the children. ---- 25th of Galena, Upper courtyard. Pickled Tink stood before a large assembly of dwarves in the upper courtyard wearing a huge grin on his face. "Ladies and Gentlemen. Many of you have wondered what the fortress mechanics have been up to for the past year. Today the newest defence of Bronzestabbed is unveiled. I give you the Bronzestabbed rail gun," he announced happily. "Please inform Grittybeard that he may fire when ready," he told the child Nailclippins, who rushed off. "While we wait, MedievalMedic will explain how it works," Pickled Tink said, floating aside to allow the engineer to take the stage. "The rail gun is a straight track, leading from its point of origin just above the hospital and up until it reaches the sword gate. It is powered by the windmills you see off to your right. Underground gears and axles carry power to the runners which accelerate the minecart and fling it out the front gateway. this is the reason for the funnel, to channel enemies into its line of fire since it, by its very nature, cannot be aimed," he said.  "We keep a sizable stockpile of minecarts in what we call the firing chamber. A dwarf places one of these carts on the track stop, then pushes it northwards and the powered rollers do the rest," he said before pausing to let the crowd absorb the information. "Once the minecart has made its way up to the surface and built a sizable amount of speed, it enters the final stage of the rail gun: The muzzle."  "It exists to stabilise the shot and give it one final kick before it leaves the track and launches out the sword gate and into the funnel, where it will hopefully encounter a target. We have yet to test the device on a live target, but after some discussion we have agreed that unless the target is a titan made of some form of metal, it would be obliterated," MedievalMedic said. Suddenly, the sound of rollers under strain came from below their feet, and wind started blasting out the exit tunnel.  "And the shot has been fired. The sound you are hearing was carefully selected to alarm dwarves that a firing is in progress," MedievalMedic announced calmly.  "And there the shot is, leaving the track and heading out the sword gate," he said and everyone watched, amazed, as it bounced over the puppy in its path. "I would like to amend my previous statement regarding target destruction to include an exception of 'tiny'," MedievalMedic said. "Perhaps we can work that bug out in time." The assembled dwarves watched the minecart race across the countryside for the fifteen seconds it took for it to reach the river, which it entered with an enormous and loud splash.  "This concludes the demonstration and test firing. I should not have to inform you that you are under no circumstances allowed to use the rail gun tunnel for quick transit to and from the dining room. The consequences of such a decision could very well prove fatal," MedievalMedic concluded. "Thank you." ---- 28th of Galena, Overseers office. The overseer was cleaning out his desk when Leperfish entered. "Hi Leperfish, come to see me out?" the ghost asked, cheerily. "Yes, actually. As overseers go, you have certainly been one of the more sane ones," Leperfish said with a grin. "Honestly, I'm not sad to leave the post. It's too much responsibility," the ghost said, making the stack of papers vanish. "How did you do that?" Leperfish asked. "Well, I asked bemis and he showed me how he did it. It's pretty cool actually, all you need to do is sort of fol-" Pickled Tink started. "Fascinating," Leperfish interrupted him. "Have you given any thought as to what you will do next?" "No idea. I think I might write a book. Everyone keeps talking about how so and so is the oldest occurrence of whatever in living memory. I think unliving memory might be better," the ghost said with a grin. "It will certainly last longer than living memory," Leperfish agreed. "So how does 'The Histories of Bronzestabbed' sound?" Pickled Tink asked as they left the office. ---- 1st of Limestone, Ugathville Barracks area. Dirty Frank heard the loud thudding boom from down below accompanied by screams and rushed for the stairwell. Several more booms followed in succession as voices cried out in horror and fear. "Help!" came a cry from below. When Dirty Frank emerged from the stairwell he stumbled to a halt in horror. A gigantic elepant-like creature made of some knobbly chalky looking substance was kicking at a door with its remaining front foot, noxious clouds of dust-like powder streaming from holes along its flanks. He turned and saw a dwarf stumbling away covered in the dusty powder clutching its face and knew it somehow carried a syndrome. "The old me would've turned and ran," he muttered to himself contemptuously. "Found an excuse to avoid the fighting. To not do what needed doing," he said louder this time as the beast drew back in confusion. "But he's gone now. I can't stand by and let you hurt everyone else," he said more forcefully, looking the beast in the eyes. The creature must have seen his resolve in his eyes because it gave a giant heave and powder started streaming out its pores before flashing to dusty smoke with a thundering boom. With a sudden jolt, the cloud of whiteness rushed down the corridor towards him. Dirty Frank raised his fine steel mace above his head. "FOR BRONZESTABBED!" he cried, as he charged into the beasts deadly cloud.  
Pickled Tink fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Jun 21, 2013 |
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Jun 20, 2013 20:31
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Wow. Way to end on a big note! I hope you include notes to the next overseer on how to fire and use the rail gun.
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Jun 20, 2013 22:14
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Deadmeat5150 posted:Wow. Way to end on a big note! It'd be better if he just leaves it on auto-fire and the next overseer has to figure out how to stop it.
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Jun 20, 2013 22:33
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Excited to see what comes next. This was definitely my favorite overseer. Huge props to Pickled Tink!
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Jun 20, 2013 22:48
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Can you put barrels of something flammable in the carts before they launch? A fireball rail gun would be hilarious. Hell, the rail gun by itself made me giggle. Great turn at the helm!
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Jun 21, 2013 00:59
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Awesome turn! I can't wait to see what happens next. 
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Jun 21, 2013 01:05
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Alright guys, a few things here. First, in case it wasn't totally clear from the last update, all of those migrant dwarves are dead. It's a shame, too, because up till then Pickled Tink had managed to get through a year with the fewest casualties we've seen since, oh, year two I imagine, maybe year 1. Second, obviously it's time to do a call for overseers... but I'm not going to do it just yet. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary and I plan to be busy. So I will probably be putting up the call on Saturday morning, and then picking the next overseer on Sunday. Nonetheless, the save is up, as are the overseer notes. As always, these contain spoilers; do not share secrets you learn from the save/notes with the thread. This includes "how to operate the railgun", for example, or "what's going on with that forgotten beast". It is OK (and I encourage you) to explore the minotarr family tree and see where Ithbi fits in. That's always fun. Finally, a big thanks to Pickled Tink. I know he took a long time for a lot of his updates, but I think we can all agree the quality was amazing, and I know from a lot of one-on-one conversations that he put a huge amount of effort into his year. He also unfailingly kept in touch with me so I knew what was going on and when to expect another update, which counts for a lot.
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Jun 21, 2013 01:35
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 Masterfully done, Tink. And at long last, it is finished. I know that I will cherish the small, nigh-insignificant part I played in your schemes.  fakeedit: Want me to pick out your typos? 
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Jun 21, 2013 03:48
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I'm going to add to the kudos. Wonderfully well done.
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Jun 21, 2013 04:01
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Thank you everyone, and thank you Leperflesh for letting me get away with three days between most of my updates, and to the rest of you for putting up with it. And sorry to those seven brave goons who waited eleven and a half months on the dwarfing list only to be instantly murdered. I actually feel kind of bad about that  Spermy Smurf posted:Can you put barrels of something flammable in the carts before they launch? A fireball rail gun would be hilarious.
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Jun 21, 2013 10:33
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This was a very enjoyable term to read, possibly made even better with the fact that a ghost child was actually pretty competent. Thanks for that. Also just realized in two more days it will be this thread's birthday! How often do these threads usually last?
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Jun 21, 2013 11:16
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Bravo Pickled Tink, Bravo. The brave sacrafice of those seven dwarves will be proved not to have been in vain if it proves that I ever make it to the fortress! 
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Jun 21, 2013 13:29
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Fantastic turn! Probably my favorite ever. Great job.
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Jun 21, 2013 16:14
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Call for Overseers! click here to apply Here is the spreadsheet of applicants As always, I'm looking for an overseer who has lots of free time in the next few weeks. The average time folks have been taking is around a month, so you should plan ahead and do not apply if you know that it will be difficult for you to devote several hours every day or two, to playing DF, taking tons of screenshots, cropping/editing them, writing up posts, and posting them. It really is a lot of work! With the current save, Pickled Tink was getting around 15 or 18 FPS. I unpaused and got about 10 FPS. This is after PT did quite a bit of cleanup to improve performance. I would not want to try and run the fort on a laptop or ancient desktop machine. Bear in mind that DF uses only a single core and is processor-intensive (the bottleneck is almost always the processor, not ram, memory I/O, graphics card performance, etc.). The fortress is very mature. It has 280+ living dwarfs, several unliving dwarfs, lots of other critters (although PT cut down the animal population drastically), a bewildering labyrinth of chambers and tunnels, waterworks, magma-works, mechanisms, minecarts, towers, bridges, cage traps, weapon traps, and mysterious half-finished projects of every variety. It is also mature in terms of storyline; there's quite a few loose plot threads you can pick up (or ignore). You will spend a lot of time just doing maintenance and management of the fort, but you'll need to also squeeze in time to write the story of what's going on. I was quite lenient with Pickled Tink, but I still intend that you should post updates ideally within 48 hours of each other. 72 hours occasionally is OK. A key factor for my (and the thread's) patience is the quality of your updates and your ability to communicate with me. Do both well and longer stretches between updates will be more forgivable. You are not obligated to play through a full year. So it's OK to apply if your intention is to just do a 6-month term or something. As always, you have more or less approximately 24 hours from this post to apply, -ish. Previous overseers may re-apply, but I will only include them in the random pick if there are no goons applying who have not yet had a turn.
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Jun 22, 2013 18:23
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I love Pickled Tink almost as much as the minotarrrs.
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Jun 23, 2013 13:16
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