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Obviously, I have been in the habit of recording and describing combat in excessive detail. It's how Leperfish has always done it, but expediency dictates that I need to summarize if I'm going to ever finish this LP. So, this is the last time I'll be quite so exhaustively accurate. Probably that's a relief to all of you as well.
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Nov 19, 2013 08:57
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 14:25 |
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Wow, Simurgho is the hero of the hour.
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Nov 19, 2013 11:01
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Some good dwarfing there. A miner doing the pick-dance, a recruit who clearly couldn't be arsed. All it really needed was for someone to run off halfway through to get a drink.
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Nov 19, 2013 14:42
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Leperflesh posted:Pickled Tink routinely pops up in Steamchat to remind me that everyone is waiting, so you guys should thank him for doing what my job used to be when other people were Overseering. Pickled Tink, best overseer Leperfish, best meta-overseer Pickled Tink, best meta-meta-oversser
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Nov 26, 2013 04:44
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Tunicate posted:Wow, Simurgho is the hero of the hour. So loving true. My heart is huge within me like ALLIGATOR.
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Nov 27, 2013 09:24
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Knockknees posted:Pickled Tink, best overseer I picture your tiny bird icon dancing while it sings this song. It is glorious.
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Nov 28, 2013 06:36
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Not the greatest showing, Me.
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Nov 28, 2013 07:00
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Leperflesh has said he is working on an update in amongst the cat and baby sloth chat that comprises the majority of our discussions so there is no need to worry. He has not forgotten us.
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Nov 28, 2013 07:09
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I'm curious to know what became of Mad King Seagoon since he was deposed by an angry mob. I'm just going to assume he's been locked in a quiet cell somewhere as far as possible from the demon cage in a rotting straightjacket, with kindly passer-byes remembering to occasionally give him food and beer and clean the rabid froth from his beard.
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Nov 28, 2013 07:18
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Or worse. An anonymous hauler. Forgotten by all.
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Nov 28, 2013 18:04
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Pickled Tink posted:He has not forgotten us. Alas, we are forgotten.
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Dec 3, 2013 00:06
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No, not forgotten.  I know it's been a couple of weeks, since I optimistically claimed I'd have loads more free time and be able to do more regular updates. But hey! The kitten got adopted Saturday, we got through the first half of the holidays, I got through the bookkeeping at the end and beginning of the month for the Oath thread, and I got through the work of the TGSS thread bookkeeping for the main round of santa/santee assignments. I recorded part of an update a few days ago. I hope to get more done tonight? I don't want to promise dates that I might miss, so I'll just say again: I haven't forgotten you all, and I still intend to finish this LP right. I'm just not able to put it as high a priority as my other commitments. e. Neddy Seagoon the Dorf is still hanging around in his evil bedroom. Leperfish hasn't gotten around to figuring out what's going on there, exactly, although we may surmise Pickled Tink the ghostly dwarfchild knows something about it.
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Dec 3, 2013 00:43
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 23rd Galena, 251 With the goblin ambushers dead, the human merchants dared approach with their laden wagons.  Orv, in the throes of a fey mood, collected materials in the lower levels.  Priapus rested in her room, vaguely satisfied by her victories despite her untreated wounds.   Tiny Turtle managed the flood of work orders generated by the traders' arrival, re-equipping of soldiers, and ordinary chores delayed first by the trial and then by the battle. Otto Print was heard demanding a meeting with someone in charge in order to complain. I avoided him.   Wales Grey's corpse lay in the reddened grass. Nevermore, a planter with no family at Bronzestabbed, lifted his body and bore him back through our gates. He died, and I lived, and I cannot truly say why. Perhaps Ugath protected me. Queen Sankis might say so.  I rushed to occupy myself with the immediate tasks: to order work to resume, station a guard, check on the wounded. Yet even as I ducked indoors, an alarm was raised again! To the southwest, the surprised yowl of a cat had drawn the attention of sentries, and dwarves shouted to warn another ambush. More goblins! These armed with crossbows.  Yet no dwarf was near them. There was time, then, for once, to retreat and choose our own terms for combat, or so I thought. I ordered civilians confined indoors. The merchants I judged close enough to allow them entrance, thus I did not call for the outer drawbridge to be raised.  The goblins appeared in no hurry, occupying themselves with firing lazily at Onget Spellwhips, the feline pet of Peas. The cat dodged away too fast for them. Ignoring the order for civilians to move indoors and apparently undaunted at the prospect of goblin ambushers, Schir wandered up the hill clutching his waterskin. I was told he said he intended to fill it but I do not know why a well would not be better for this. Perhaps he is moved by the adamantine strands sewn into his flesh?   Regardless, Schir is in The Lovely Treaties therefore I ordered The Lovely Treaties station within the outermost gate in effort to compel him to return.  He did not at first hear the orders shouted from the wall, but the goblin squad took little notice of him among the trees. It would seem Schir sought a barrel that had been abandoned in the field, and there filled his waterskin with tuber beer before at last reversing course.   Intent on hunting cats, the goblins still took no notice, instead firing bolts at Tirist Datanottem, the pet of Pookum. Three missed narrowly, and then the cat sprinted away, another bolt flying wide.   Alas for Lokum Olonorrun, cat pet of Sybot! Slower and unaware of the threat, a stray bolt sliced through its leg and it howled briefly before dying.  Tirist fairly leapt the body of his slain comrade in his flight, while Schir cannot have failed to notice the bolts now whizzing across his field of view. It seemed inevitable they must see him soon! Instead they clustered atop the hill a few paces from the western tower, taking in the view of our courtyard.  Below, wagons still trundled while dwarves scampered to find safety of cover.  Finally spotting a quarry, a lone crossbowgoblin ambled down the hill, followed distantly by its fellows, and snapped a shot at Schir! That quarrel buzzed six paces behind him, his crutch snapping through weeds as the dwarf now sprinted as best he could.  But when Schir came to the corpse of the slain cat, he paused, and all of we those who now watched from safety gaped as he turned suddenly and made directly for the goblins. What madness compelled him to charge seven goblins armed with crossbows by himself? Perhaps he saw below, human merchants still not safe, dwarves not gathered, and chose to sell his life to delay the foe. Or perhaps the veteran was moved by the slain feline to martial rage?  At least he led with his shield, catching one bolt with a thunk as another flew past. In six more steps another bolt missed him, and then another, and then four at once were fired and Schir took a bolt to his right hand. His shield, mace, and crutch all dropped immediately and dwarves groaned to see it.  Two more bolts missed but another impaled his leg. The goblins reloaded as fast as any dwarf; they are cowardly and stupid creatures but none will say they are not viciously quick. Perhaps Schir had become so used to pain from his old wounds, never completely treated and still infected, that his cut hand and shot leg were of little meaning to him. Still, he turned back suddenly, abandoning his weapon in the grass, and his hopping gait without the crutch threw off the aim of the goblins.  Alas. Without warning six goblins sprang up from the ground all about poor Schir, a third ambush somehow unnoticed when he first passed!  He dove between a lasher and a speargoblin, and then two more speargoblins, bolts flying in all directions, but another random shot caught him, a wound to the guts that I all knew surely must spell his end. He staggered, and a goblin's spear skewered his right arm.  Yet still he ran, somehow, dodging a tree and ducking another cruel bolt. He limped and swayed and tried to stay ahead, as yet another goblin caught his hand with her cruel spear.  He did not slow. He left a stream of blood and squealing goblins trailing behind him as he bore north.  He might have seen five wagons still queued up at the narrow stone walls guarding our gate, the gangly human drovers shouting at their horses and wrestling with their rickety vehicles. Or he might have seen only the red haze of his hatred for the craven goblin. Either way, he led them north, abandoning his own hope of refuge in exchange for that of our human allies.  He was stabbed in the back, the spear sticking into his spine. He wrenched free and half-tumbled down the last slope. Another few steps, and we could see Schir was tiring. The gleeful goblin at his back hooked his foot with her speartip, and Schir sprawled heavily to the dirt. They caught him up and their spears rose and fell as the goblins cackled in glee.  19letterslong and Imp, Schir's squadmates, had by then stationed on the stone entryway before the trade depot tunnel, along with the mayor Kalman. They and the few civilian dwarves still in the courtyard shouted at the humans to hurry but they had already seen the approaching goblins. They also saw the corpses and body parts strewn about near the gate, many fresh, some older. I doubt they required additional encouragement. Three wagons jolted around the corner and between our walls and a human guard, whom I now know to be named Jonic Materduli, armed with an iron whip, attracted the first shots from the goblin archers by dodging between the carts and presenting herself a nimble closest target. She was armored in iron and leather and her face was veiled.    Unwisely, the leader of the archers approached very closely. The woman led with her shield, catching bolts in it as she closed the distance. One last arrow from the goblin leader popped off of her shield as she reached him, and then she dodged a bolt fired from her right as she squared to the north of her foe.  Alas, her first strike, although it connected with the leader's foot, left her back exposed to the hill, whereupon she was shot twice in the back, one bolt partially protruding from her slender belly and another deep enough it must have pierced her lung.   She retched, blood and vomit together staining her veil, unable to avoid another bolt to her leg that sent her to the dirt. She rolled, her companions' horror plain on their long human faces as the next goblin bolt pierced her stomach from the front.  The third-to-last wagon careened around the corner and between our welcoming stone walls, and another human guard (this one armed with a long sword) squeezed past it to view the fight, just in time to see his companion shot again in her left calf. I have since learned his name is Ac Sacathgalel. He was armored similarly to his allies, in iron helm and breastplate, leather outerwear, and bearing an iron shield.   Just behind him, dropping from the cart he dodged past, the human Vusdom Devsembepa bore a copper spear, iron shield, and wore copper breastplate and helm.    The two advanced side by side, no doubt desiring to aid their doomed fellow, another bolt striking her near the pancreas, another to her leg, another to her guts, the goblin archers scrambling down the hillside firing as fast as they could reload with glee to cause her more suffering.  A goblin not five paces from her put a bolt through her face from the side, and such was her state of desperate pain that she scarcely noticed the following bolt spearing her left thigh. Yet her companions maintained some composure to advance together. Her belly sprouted yet another bolt. The second-to-last cart disappeared from their view through the gate, leaving only one laggard still another minute from safety. Even the goblin bowman that led that squad had his back to them, preferring to add his next arrow to the woman's misery.  A bolt took her in the right wrist and her iron whip fell from her grasp. An instant later the human spearman Vusdom bowled into the goblin bowman, knocking him to the dirt, a shout of incoherent rage bellowing from his lungs with the impact. Ac Sacathgalel followed through by stabbing the evil creature in the leg! Vusdom speared him expertly in the left foot, and though we could see the goblin plainly outmatched, the situation then was dire indeed, for to their north the squadron of goblin ambushers armed with cruel spears of their own now closed in.   A lone goblin lasher had outpaced that group, threatening to cut off the final wagons' paths, and although atop the nearest wagon rode a human guard armed with a mace, the wagon's driver and horses were surely doomed if the goblins got to them outside. By then in the courtyard had gathered Drone, Imp, Kalman (the mayor), 19letterslong, SuRoXT, and Gnu Sheriff in Town. Yet of the six, only Gnu and Drone bore crossbows, and neither had a shot past the line of wagons moving through the gate. In seconds I would be forced to decide whether to raise the bridge, dooming those human traders still outside, or order our own dwarven heroes out into a deadly hail of crossbow fire. The only other option would be to allow the goblin force into the courtyard: no option at all.  Hoping to provide some bare assistance at least, I ordered Gnu to move into the ballista chamber there to fire through the slits at goblins. The ballista chamber! I shouted orders to man the ballistae, all those on the courtyard level. I knew it would take precious minutes to ready the weapons, but if the humans gained the bridge I would raise it and then perhaps the goblins would remain attractive targets if they did not immediately retreat. As the goblin lasher approached the gate and the wagons, our doughty guardian echidnas performed military tactics by presenting a spiked exterior to the foe.  Meanwhile the human Ac carved the goblin bowman's leg. Another bolt finally tore open the belly of the woman laying in the grass, her entrails spilling forth. She barely moved, obviously near death, yet somehow still conscious enough to cough and keen softly in her agony.  Vusdom slew the goblin bowman, driving his spear into its brain in one hard downward thrust. No dwarf or man cheered. Yet so obsessed with their pincushion were the goblin archers that still they fired only on the mortally wounded woman, two more bolts taking her in the kidney, and then her heart, and then another in her guts.  The lasher among the carts, a female goblin with a copper whip and lilac hair, took sudden interest in our war echidna.    Her cruelly barbed whip struck out blindingly fast to tear at the animal, but though tufts of hair flew loose it did not take significant harm, being armored and spiked. Attempting a different tactic, she tried a gauntleted blow with her fist, yet that too was repulsed.  The two human guards split, one charging the archers the other cutting towards the spear goblins. One goblin caught up with the dying woman, gleefully stabbing her gory leg, then bashing her with the shaft.  The echidna bravely bore another strike of the whip. Ac removed the arm of the goblin that stabbed his comrade, sending its silver spear flying, even while deflecting a bolt with his shield. Finally the goblins had begun to shift their focus to the men who posed a threat!  Somehow the human woman still lived, coughing weakly. And then the goblin lasher struck with both hands, and her heavy whip came down upon the echidna's back with a snap, its spine breaking.  
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Dec 8, 2013 07:56
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Ah, so there was a flaw in Battle Echidnas! Well, drat, are our faces red! Also, those goblins are incredible sadists at times. I am very happy that I have a role that doesn't take me outside the fortress, and shall thus die last-ish.
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Dec 9, 2013 00:34
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JamieTheD posted:Ah, so there was a flaw in Battle Echidnas! Well, drat, are our faces red! Also, those goblins are incredible sadists at times. I am very happy that I have a role that doesn't take me outside the fortress, and shall thus die last-ish. Menacing with spikes sometimes doesn't cut it.
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Dec 9, 2013 00:47
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I knew those echidnas were worthless, and yet they didn't believe me! Maybe because I didn't ever tell them, but still!
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Dec 9, 2013 21:11
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That echidna was the backbone of this fortress. Game over, man.
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Dec 19, 2013 13:21
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I want you guys to see what is going on here: Tink is forcing me to work on DF updates by giving me horrible things daily. This is where I'm at right now:  Bogged down badly because even though I said this: Leperflesh posted:Obviously, I have been in the habit of recording and describing combat in excessive detail. It's how Leperfish has always done it, but expediency dictates that I need to summarize if I'm going to ever finish this LP. I've found myself weirdly unable to do that. I'm hoping by bitching about it here, I will be self-motivated to just loving summarize goddamnit.
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Dec 23, 2013 05:56
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Please do an exhaustively thorough description of your first attempt at Surgeon Simulator.
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Dec 23, 2013 07:58
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23rd Galena, 251 – continued  Unsatisfied with merely crippling the brave War Echidna, the female goblin struck again with her whip, sending the creature flying, until it reached the end of its short leash and snapped hard into the top of the human wagon with a faint squeak.  Undeterred, the goblin leapt atop the vehicle as well, whereupon the human driver Pado Cangokupe already panicked aimed a clumsy blow the goblin easily dodged by rolling forward and on to the ground just behind one of the pack-horses pulling the wagon; immediately the equally panicked horse attempted to kick her, but she rolled again, nimble as a rabbit.    In retaliation, her whip lashed out to crack the horse's rear hoof. Pado's outrage at the abuse of his horses evidently overcoming his fear, he grappled her, snagging her right hand while the horse bucked and caught her left hand with a hoof although not with great force. He tried to punch her but she easily parried the inexpert blow, and then caught the horse's next kick with her shield. The merchant flailed, punching her somehow in her left foot as she spun to strike back at the horse, her whip glancing harmlessly from its thick hide.   I glanced back to view that the woman pierced by more than a dozen bolts, gutted and shot in the head and heart, had finally ceased to live, her two fellow guards now rapidly becoming surrounded by goblins armed with spears, and bolts being fired upon them in earnest. Yet aside from the lasher nothing now blocked the last cart which had very nearly gained the walls thus their sacrifice perhaps being the salvation of their fellows. It is a rare human whose behavior inspires a dwarf to admiration. The merchant Pado grappled the half-frenzied goblin, yanking at her filthy sock. She wrenched free and stood, catching another kick from the horse on her shield while Pado pummeled her leg.  Ac meanwhile dodged a bolt, and blocked three more with quick motions of his heavy shield, the projectiles clattering away. Alas, another bolt just behind these was too much, and he stumbled and fell as his leg was pierced although it seemed not severely.  The goblin lasher found herself besieged by horse and driver alike, a hoof slamming into her leg, and she gabbled some incomprehensible insult in her native tongue while thrashing about violently beneath the lip of the heavily-laden wagon. A spin brought her heavy whip across his stomach and he doubled over gagging, although there was no blood to mark a serious wound. For her trouble the goblin earned another sturdy horse-kick to the foot.  Atop the wagon the broken-backed echidna stirred, and Pado once again gripped the goblin's sock, this time pulling hard enough to topple her to her back in the dirt beneath the wagon. She pressed shoulders to the ground and popped onto her feet just in time to deflect one hoof with her shield, while the other got her bruisingly in the left forearm.   Ac blocked a spearstrike and stabbed back, his sword likewise parried, and raised his shield just in time to deflect another incoming bolt. His companion Vudom ducked and bobbed a few paces away, drawing off four or five of the speargoblins from his downed comrade. Finally the horse connected solidly with the goblin lasher's leg and the bone shattered satisfyingly, sending her sprawling and screaming curses, yanking her shield over her body. Fighting back, she swung a small fist out from behind her shield at the looming human, punching him solidly in the eye! Yet this proved an error as the horse reared to catch a glimpse of its harrasser and then brought a heavy stomp down upon her right leg, likewise shattering it. Now writhing in pain and misery with two broken legs the goblin could not stop the next kick from cracking her left hand, losing her cruel whip in the mud. Still she was able to shift her shield to block Pado's next punch.  Vusdom, confronted by three goblins, tried a quick feint but was parried, and then parried the counterstrike. One of the speargoblins had broken away from him, and now charged the side of the last wagon upon which rode the mace-weilding human guard, Owba Apugshebi, a woman with amber hair, and face hidden by veil and headscarf after the fashion of her kind.   Still fighting beneath the leading cart, the goblin whipper's left arm was crushed by the furious and eager horse, and she rolled awkwardly away to escape it only to be assaulted by one of the horses hauling the final cart, which kicked her in the left hand. The merchant aboard this cart, a man named Uce Jaloqui, gamely hopped down from the seat to punch her.   Stepping through the doorway to the western ballista battery, Gnu Sheriff in Town snapped off a shot with her storied crossbow, sending it perfectly through the narrow arrow slit ten paces ahead and two to the right of her, the bolt then flying between several goblins but hitting none.  Ac took a bolt to the cheek, a grazing shot that drew blood and left the bolt dangling grotesquely from his face.  Still feeling the affects of his bruised guts, Pado took the opportunity granted by the retreat of his goblin enemy to gag and puke repeatedly as he tried to regain control of his horses. That goblin tried a feeble swing with her shield at Uce in counterstrike to his next punch, but missed. Uce's horse reared to kick her foot experimentally. Vusdom, having remained mobile, found a new opening and poked a goblin in the leg. In response the goblin charged, missing with his own spear but smashing into Vusdom and sending him crashing to the ground!  Uce's horse improved its aim, crushing the lasher's wrist with its hoof. Pado continued to vomit instead of driving his cart; the horses of the cart behind him now crowded forward, their scrambling hooves overriding the low tail of the leading wagon.   Ac mounted the slope of the hill, closing with the four crossbow goblins still using that vantage, and caught another bolt with his shield as he did so. Behind him, Vusdom continued to tangle with his goblin foe, tackling him likewise to the ground. This distraction allowed one of Ac's quarries to bolt him in the leg, the missile striking deep enough to chip bone and draw a shout of pain.    The lasher beneath the wagons, her limbs bent in wrong angles, ceased to move succumbing to the pain. Vusdom got the better of his grounded goblin, thrusting his spear into its head.  Ac, staggering from his wounded leg, was shot in his shield arm and lost hold of that protection; all who watched understood that now against four crossbow-goblins he could not hope to prevail. We bore witness to his honorable sacrifice with our hearts in our throats.  Vusdom, finding a spearstroke to the goblin's head insufficiently fatal, stabbed it in the arm, its shield likewise spinning away. He used the shaft to crush its left hand on the backstroke, and then followed up with a punch that somehow sent the goblin – despite it's broken skull – into a battle rage!  Gnu Sheriff's bolt sung between several targets, missing all of them, as Ac took a bolt to his guts. Owba Apugshebi, the human guard wielding a mace, scrambled to the back of the last wagon seeking the female lasher; he found a goblin spearman standing over her.  The enraged broken-headed goblin jumped to its feet, and took a light blow from Vusdom's spearshaft. Spinning quickly, Vusdom brought the edge of his weapon around in an arc, hacking off the goblin's right hand, neatly disarming the enraged creature!  A goblin shot Ac Sacathgalel through the brain, slaying him where he lay. This was grim tidings for Vusdom; not only was his companion dead, but now five goblins armed with crossbows sought their next likely target: and he was nearest.   The melee at the rear of the wagons expanded: a speargoblin made for the other war echidna, while two more faced off against the human Owba and his fellow maceman, Adith.  Vusdom remained preoccupied with his somehow still-living foe, punching the raving disarmed creature in the eye and then stabbing it in the right leg, whereupon the goblin once more tripped to the ground, and then lay still, rage dwindling into unconsciousness. Unconsciousness finally gave way to death as Vusdom drove his spearpoint again into the creature's brain, this time with deliberate finality.  Owba, choosing with questionable judgement to ignore the very much awake and armed goblins in his vicinity, instead slew the unconscious female lasher with a crushing maceblow to her head. Meanwhile, remarkably still alive, our brusied and backbroken echidna unrolled, its unshakable drive to live and fight still unquelled within its tiny bespiked body. The wagons were finally moving once more, leaving it behind, along with the two macemen.   Four goblin spear-wielders ran east, bypassing the gates and the remaining guard-echidna... a retreat? If so, the crossbow-goblins did not join, for they now peppered Vusdom with their fire. The first bolt missed, and the next tore through the spine of a goblin crossbowman... no, that bolt had been fired by Gnu Sheriff in Town, who was herself shooting at the goblins up on the slope! The shot goblin collapsed, its spine severed.  Vusdom dodged another bolt, and two more missed him, as the speargoblins fled save one which was forced to dodge between the two human mace-wielding guards. Gnu Sheriff shot her prone target again, her bolt slicing through its left foot.   Three more bolts missed Vusdom who like his previous companions now charged forward towards the crossbow-goblins on the hill, leading with his shield. The last speargoblin leapt over the echidna, outpacing the slower human guards to make his escape. Vusdom caught another bolt with his shield and then jumped away from another shot, always closing the distance with each agile move, until he came face-to-face with a goblin called Smunstu Kutsmobutu which jumped away from his opening attack. Vusdom was forced to block another bolt with his raised shield, which move allowed the goblin to dodge south. He reacted predictably by likewise circling to follow that foe, which meant turning his back on the remaining archers. Somehow he jumped away from the next shot despite it coming from his rear quarter.   Near the wall of the western tower, one goblin archer which had split from its companions to peer into our courtyard was shocked to discover a bolt in his lung! This shot was fired by Rumda, recently stationed below and alert to the danger from above. Rumda had made an amazing shot, firing through the gap of a fortification atop the upper wall with remarkable precision.     Vusdom attacked his foe again, and again the goblin leapt clear, and they circled. Again the spear darted out and found only air, but with each strike Vusdom had herded his foe so that now his back was again to Bronzestabbed.   Alas, a bolt from the goblin Rumda had just shot – despite having trouble breathing, that goblin still had the ability to fight, it seemed – caught Vusdom in the left hand with a lucky bolt. His shield fell, and now we who watched knew Vusdom Devsembepa was as doomed as his deceased companions.  Still he dodged the next shot, shifting south, but even as one of Gnu's bolts whizzed past his head, a bolt he could not avoid took him solidly in his midsection; it drove through ribs and kidney and Vusdom fell senseless to the ground.   Yet Gnu Sheriff's aim had again been true, and a goblin three paces away from Vusdom staggered as her bolt stabbed through its guts.   On the ground and dizzy with pain, Vusdom became an easy target. They shot him in the arm, the leg, the hand, and the leg again.  Somehow Vusdom struggled back to wakefulness. That was not a mercy for he surely felt the next bolt strike his left shoulder, and the following enter his belly.  The last two guards, those with the maces, had given chase to the speargoblins, driving them east. I faced a difficult decision; the final cart was rolling across the outermost bridge. Yet I judged Vusdom already lost, and those other two must survive or fall on their own. It was their choice to pursue the fleeing foes rather than seek safety within our walls or aid their fallen companions.  “Close the Gate!” I shouted finally. Vault Vanderhuge, who was the nearest dwarf with no job (having just dropped off an item at the trade depot) accepted the task and ran for the stairs.  Vusdom was shot again in the left leg and he sagged backwards in the spattered grass, once more succumbing to blood loss and pain.  Nearby, our brave war Echidna with the broken back slowly squirmed through the grass mostly unnoticed. Despite its pain the creature was stalking goblins.  A goblin shot Vusdom's hand, the spear rolling away from his loose grasp. Gore spurted from his mouth, a signal that he yet breathed. They shot Vusdom again, in the lower back, and then the right upper arm, and then the left calf, and then the left wrist, and then the left thigh, and again in the left calf. Vusdom sprouted still more terrible bolts, in hip and belly. He resembled a gory hedgehog, a dozen spines protruding grotesquely from his ruined body.  Meanwhile Gnu fired a bolt which barely missed her target, the wounded Strodno with the sliced gut. The injured goblin followed the injured echidna which had reversed course once detected, luring it away.    The wounded echidna passed its companion and led his follower east, away from the fortress.  Gnu Sheriff in Town fired again, this time finding a new target and striking that goblin through its left hand. The goblin, lacking fortitude, stared at his punctured appendage and promptly flopped to the ground senseless.   Vusdom was shot still more, in arm and stomach.  The last wagon slowly crept onto the drawbridge, keeping to the right to make room for the armored dwarf passing them on the left...  ...lunnrais Tradedships the Gloved Figure of Chaining, captain of the Ramparts of Weather, creater of Enkosartob “Takencombined” the artifact oaken bucket, heading out of Bronzestabbed on a mission to “pickup equipment.” That champion dwarf possesses no fear!  Vusdom was shot some more.  Gnu Sheriff shot her unconscious target in the left leg, perhaps hoping to cripple the creature to ensure it would not escape if it woke up.  Below us, Vault Vanderhuge hurried down a rough-cut stone hallway.  The macemen lost sight of their escaped quarry in the brush of the Savanna and paused, perhaps deciding whether to flee into the wilderness themselves, or face the withering fire of the enemy that was promised if they returned to their true duty.  The recruit brian obel Rithdasnast followed lunnrais, likewise seeking to “Pickup equipment.” His duty was in Gnu's squad, which was ordered stationed in the catapult gallery, but apparently some spare item of armor or clothing tempted him too greatly to follow that order. Perhaps he judged any avenue lunnrais dared, he would be safe.   Vusdom was shot in the ribs. I wondered if the goblins might run low on ammunition. It seemed unlikely. A bolt cleaved through the human guard's limp left hand.   Horribly, he woke up again. It is a nightmarish vision. For a moment I thought he had risen as a fiendish murk zombie, for it is difficult to credit that he could have still lived with so many bolts protruding from every part of his destroyed body, the blood dark and thick on his lips and chin. Yet no fiendish murk zombie screams: thus I knew him to still be alive.    Rumda having obeyed orders and joined Gnu Sheriff, the two fired simultaneously through the arrow slits. The bolts flew true, Gnu's into the helpless goblin's lung, Rumda's into its right leg.    The echidna hid in the grass, bypassed by one goblin archer as another approached, these two both injured and following the direction of the fled speargoblins.  Mercifully Vusdom became quiet once more, senseless, in time to not feel the next bolt to pierce his leg and crack his bone.  Gnu Sheriff and Rumda's target stirred, awaking to find himself far worsely injured than he recalled. As Vusdom's body absorbed another shot, the goblin stared in horror at Gnu's latest bolt sprouting from his left lower arm. He collapsed once more, just as Rumda shot him in the leg.  Lunnrais is legendary but even so I can scarcely believe what is reported. Having collected whatever item she desired and returned to the drawbridge she fired through two walls, each cut with narrow arrow slits, accurately finding the target of one of the retreating crossbow-goblins near the hiding echidna! Her bolt hit it in the leg.   The goblins on the hill were content to continue perforating Vusdom with a shot to the hip and then the leg. Gnu Sheriff shot her target in the throat. The goblins responded with another bolt to Vusdom's leg.   Lunnrais performed another trick shot with her own storied crossbow, this time puncturing her goblin's liver, proving the first had been no fluke of luck. I grew concerned for she lingered on the drawbridge which I had already ordered raised...   Rumda shot their target in the left leg. I hoped it would die soon so that they might shoot at one of the unwounded goblins that remained a real threat. Gnu Sheriff responded in kind, puncturing her own target's kidney.   Vusdom's (exposed) kidney was torn apart with another shot that squelched wetly into his body.  The macemen who had not yet made up their minds encountered the other retreating goblin archer and Owba tried a lazy swing which missed widely but served to redirect it back west. The hiding echidna now out of danger (but still I must record likely fatally wounded by its shattered spine) unrolled, perhaps spotting brian obel nearby.    Vusdom was shot in the arm, and then in the neck. Lunnrais lost sight of her foe through the arrow slits and wisely moved off of the bridge. Gnu Sheriff shot her helpless target in the right upper leg. Rumda missed, as the goblins shot Vusdom in the left hand, and then the ribs.    Gnu shot the goblin in the leg. The goblins shot Vusdom in the leg, and then the arm. Rumda fired and missed. Gnu shot the goblin in the guts. Brian obel found whatever he'd been looking for and ambled amiably back toward the gate with far too little urgency.     Below, near the dining hall, there is a row of levers all helpfully labeled. Vault Vanderhuge rounded the corner, rushing past the smooth, artfully-engraved walls, and skidded to a halt among the dusty boulders of malachite scattered haphazardly before the controls. Above, Vusdom was shot in the leg yet again. The macemen chased a wounded goblin archer through the trees. Vusdom was shot in the shoulder. Rumda's bolt missed the goblin but only because the goblin had finally died, spurting blood from its neck as well as a half-dozen other grievous wounds.  It is a testament to the durability of the human Vusdom that he survived five times as many bolts being fired through his body than that goblin. Even as it died he was shot again in the right shoulder. Another shot took him in the liver (again), and then he somehow woke up again, lifting his head from the earth a little to blink at his surroundings in a daze.   I think he was beyond pain as he observed calmly Gnu Sheriff shooting one of his three remaining tormentors, her bolt taking the goblin Stosbub Xosloamxu in the right lower leg.   The macemen hot on the heels of their fleeing crossbow-goblin were surprised to see their foe become the target of a dwarf outside the fortress; brian obel had seen the approach and snapped off a shot, although his aim was wide.  Exhausted and faint, Vusdom slipped to sleep just before a bolt hit him in the back of his head, severing his spinal cord.  Vault Vanderhuge stared at the little signs on the wall behind each lever. “Side gate Bridge Lvr,” “Railway Gate Lvr,” “Typhus Outer Gate Lv,” what could that mean? Which was the outermost front gate?  There was no time to hesitate. Before him was a lever marked “Sword Gate Lvr.” The huge bronze sword sculpture was near the outer gate... but it was also just as close to the bridge that opened on the tunnel to the trade depot! Well, if he got it wrong, at least the trade depot would be safe. He reached for the lever and yanked, hard.  Outside, Rumda shot the goblin Gnu Sheriff had picked out, her own bolt hitting it in the left leg as it rolled in the grass. Gnu followed up with a shot into its left hand, while its companions shot Vusdom in the right shoulder and the guts.   The fleeing goblin sped past brian obel, and the dwarf's shot though at very close range was inaccurate.  A marksgoblin ambled down the slope to get closer to Vusdom, shooting him in his left upper leg.  And then, at last, the outer bridge swung upwards, gravel and debris clattering down its surface as it tilted with perfect precision to snap and lock into place.  Trapping both human macemen, and brian obel the marksdwarf recruit, outside with the goblins.
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Dec 23, 2013 10:26
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Did that human just pulled a Boromir on us? Tell me he'll end end having a monument in the fortress.
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Dec 23, 2013 13:00
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Epic! I, for one, am glad for the extreme detail, even at the cost of slow updates. Thanks, LF.
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Dec 23, 2013 17:40
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Even in the DF arena threads where shooters stupidly focus on shooting an already crippled opponent instead of the healthy minotaur bearing down on them, I've never seen anything in DF take that many shots and live. I found myself wondering if DF has rules for when a human pincushion finally falls over and impales himself on the dozen arrows already piercing his torso.
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Dec 23, 2013 17:56
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You know, I was concerned that things might get boring unless Bronzestabbed was in existential danger, but you've done a tremendous job keeping things exciting.
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Dec 23, 2013 21:12
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That human, Vusdom, was the backbone of this fortress. Game over, man.
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Dec 26, 2013 14:59
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I like to think every time Vusdom came to, lying on the ground riddled with bolts, he'd think "Oh hey, I'm still alive. Maybe, just maybe, I might live through thi*THUNK*AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHH"
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Dec 26, 2013 16:43
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Vusdom needs to be placed in a heroic tomb when/if he dies.
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Dec 26, 2013 22:24
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Vadoc posted:Vusdom needs to be placed in a heroic tomb when/if he dies. I'm not sure if that's actually possible. I don't think you can assign a tomb to anything that isn't a dwarf citizen. Probably the best we can do is create a special dump just for the remains, and then dump them there, and maybe pretty the spot up with some decorations. Assuming he dies, and assuming there's remains left that can even be picked up.
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Dec 26, 2013 23:39
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You can still bury non-citizens. Specific tombs really are off-limits, though.
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Dec 27, 2013 00:08
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You could disable all empty coffins for use and forbid any other bodies lying about the map, leave one coffin in a special tomb enabled, entomb the body, wait until it's in the desired coffin, and then set everything back to normal. A bit labor intensive, but it'd probably work. I don't think that'd work to actually assign a tomb room, but it'd at least let you put the body wherever you wanted.
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Dec 27, 2013 04:45
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In my opinion, you should respectfully recover his body and cast it into the magma to purify his spirit so that he may soon be reborn as the dwarf he was always meant to be. I'm not sure if the bodies of other races can be buried. I have buried the bodies of dwarf caravan guards and merchants before, but never any humans or elves, even with free coffins open for burial.
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Dec 27, 2013 05:37
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Pickled Tink posted:In my opinion, you should respectfully recover his body and cast it into the magma to purify his spirit so that he may soon be reborn as the dwarf he was always meant to be. Elves would probably haunt the place if you put them underground.
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Dec 27, 2013 05:43
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Pickled Tink posted:In my opinion, you should respectfully recover his body and cast it into the magma to purify his spirit so that he may soon be reborn as the dwarf he was always meant to be. What did he ever do to you that you'd want him to spend a year as a dwarf baby? I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.
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Dec 27, 2013 05:45
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Hey, so long as he doesn't get born to a soldier he should be fine! And we have already gotten rid of LeJackal so child murder should be at an all time low in the fortress!
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Dec 27, 2013 05:47
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Didn't we also lose a baby due to its mother going crazy from a failed mood?
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Dec 27, 2013 23:12
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23rd Galena, 251 – continued some more I absentmindedly dropped an old sock at the trade depot, where the humans were already unloading their goods even as the last carts rolled down the hallway.  They were grim. Beyond the raised drawbridge we all knew the goblins still warred; two able human macemen, the woman Owba Apugshebi and man Adith Adilpib, faced four goblin archers (two wounded); a third human Vusdom died (remarkably slowly) in the grass, and the dwarf recruit brian obel Rithdasnast was likewise trapped outside. Yet we had not fully abandoned them. In the main ballista gallery, Rumda an elite marksdwarf and the captain of the guard Gnu Sheriff in Town hailed the enemy with their crossbows.  More dwarves of the military had gathered along the paved road in our courtyard. I endeavored to set aside my guilt and made orders: The Ramparts of Weather, a crossbow squad with members present, to take position on the second floor of the wall, above the ballista gallery.  I also ordered someone to yell to brian obel to take cover within the entryway. Goblins that chased him there would cross Gnu's line of fire. To accomplish this brian obel was temporarily dismissed from Gnu Order and assigned his own squad, The Galleys of Mist.  One more order I issued. I received word that Aerion, one of our siege engineers, had reported for duty and dwarfed a ballista! I gave order to Slooby another siege engineer as he hurried past that they should fire at will.    We all felt the dull THUNK as Aerion let loose, his ballista recoiling solidly in its emplacement. Even as the enormous projectile sprang from the weapon, Gnu sheriff's latest bolt speared her target goblin in the upper right leg, while a goblin bolt plunked into Vusdom's left lung, and the maceman Owba leapt away from a copper bolt shot by the nearest goblin crossbowman, Nguslu Oknako, she with the bolt in her lung.     A shot from Rumda missed, and then the fortress walls sounded a second time as Aerion's ballista bolt pounded harmlessly into the stone wall opposite his position.  Owba bashed the goblin shooting at him with her silver flail, crushing the archer's arm! Brian obel followed up with a shot to the same location. Owba used that distraction to tackle her foe bodily to the ground, rolling quickly back to her feet as Gnu's next shot slammed into the guts of the goblin crossbowman Bosa Baruem who now stood over the expiring Vusdom.      Vusdom was said to have rolled his eyes upwards and perhaps nodded slightly with satisfaction as the goblin staggered away, before once again sagging into final unconsciousness.    At that moment the goblin Gnu had previously been shooting passed out from pain, while Adith caught up with his ally Owba to tangle with her goblin enemy. The gutshot goblin vomited messily, gripping the bolt in his guts with one green hand. Adith's latest shoulder-destroying assault had ruined the other goblin's arm sufficiently that she dropped her crossbow, and with the first unconscious, only two goblins remained capable of firing crossbows (one gutshot, the other still unwounded up on the hill to the west).  Vusdom's leg absorbed yet another bolt fired from that goblin, and then careful observers noted his chest finally ceased to rise: the hero was dead, gone to meet whatever god of war the humans worship.   Adith pressed his attack, shinning the prone goblin, while Owba found an opening to crush its left hand with her flail. Adith followed up with a bruising blow to her left forearm, while Owba kicked her right forearm. Adith then struck the goblin a mighty blow in the face with his stout bronze shield, staving in the goblin's skull with satisfying finality!  Gnu and Rumda fired near-simultaneously, both missing the two goblins lined up before them as the foe scampered towards the human warriors.  The fainted goblin stirred as they approached, just in time to be missed by a bolt fired from brian obel's crossbow, and Adith caught the first shot fired his way with his shield. He did not deign to wait for the next, instead closing with the gutshot goblin Bosa Baruem while the other goblin ducked and rolled away from another shot of Gnu's.  Adith got in the opening blow, his bronze morningstar destroying the goblin's right hand, one of it's spikes catching in the ruin of flesh and bone as its crossbow spun away into the blood-spattered brush.  The gutshot one had some chance at a flanking position behind Adith but was betrayed by a renewed bout of nausea, blood spraying from its ugly lips, doubling over still clutching the lodged bolt. Adith yanked his weapon free, spinning it neatly to catch its left arm a glancing blow. Owba meanwhile used her flail to feint, dropping the bottom of her shield down simultaneously on the gagging goblin's leading foot.   Adith stove in the head of his foe with a powerful strike that sent it flopping backwards into the dirt, while Rumda's latest shot sped past where its body had been just before the killing blow. The two humans faced the gutshot goblin, and a few of us shouted warning then, for the last goblin from the hill -one with red hair and grey skin - now dashed down upon them.    Owba kicked the wounded goblin in the left leg, trying to trip him, as Adith leapt away from the bolt the charging goblin fired. Owba's fail flashed out, but the goblin's strangely-furred hood protected its head from the glancing blow. It vomited again, gagging and drooling long stringy yellow and red bile.    Gnu Sheriff in Town shot the uninjured goblin in the chest, the bolt sticking through at a shallow angle.  The gagging goblin somehow anticipated Owba's next attack, dodging to the side, while Adith raised his shield to deflect a shot fired from his nearby target. He grinned, as did many of us, for we all noticed the goblin reach for her quiver and find it empty.   This was the one that so determinately slew Vusdom, not to mention a playful friendly cat earlier, and the last goblin still presenting any sort of threat.  Now we cheered, for Owba again caught her foe's hand with her deadly flail, and Adith came to blows with his comrade's murderer. Owba battered the goblin's breastplate, and then Adith's enemy was served her own medicine with a dwarfish crossbow bolt to the hand, served by Gnu Sheriff!     Adith charged, knocking aside his enemy's wounded arm hard enough to snap it like a twig before crashing into the grey-skinned goblin with a terrific blow that sent her sprawling; a fine attack, although it caused Rumda's bolt to miss.  I noticed then that Slooby manned the other east-facing ballista. It is in a useless position. I would order him to switch to another but by then we all sensed the fight was nearly finished.  Adith swung down at his writhing, cursing enemy, catching a good thump to her leg, while Owba shoved her enemy hard and then broke his shin with a heavy stroke of her flail. He responded by gagging and clutching at his gory stomach-bolt.   Adith crushed the she-goblin's hand, and with a shudder and gasping “noes, noooes” she gave in to pain and passed out. That was of course sufficient opening for Adith to precisely crush her skull.  Fighting the last living goblin in the field, Owba tried a punch to the leg, and then a strike to his right foot, and more blows to each of his thighs, which broke like kindling. Finally it released its crossbow when she destroyed its right hand; she rained down furious blows, cursing in her human tongue as she exacted revenge for her fallen allies.  Brian obel shot the goblin in the leg. Rumda shot the goblin also in the knee. Owba broke its leg some more, and its hands, and Adith joined her to smash its foot. Despite the crowd, Gnu Sheriff put her copper bolt through its ribcage, and the goblin sagged defeated to the ground just before Owba slew him, her flail flinging bits of its brain into the air.    Amid the shouts of victory from the walls and the raucous cheers from among the merchants, I quietly issued the order to open the outer bridge. Militia to stand down. Dwarves to resume ordinary duties. I did not however rescind the general confinement to the burrow for civilians. No unarmed dwarf would go outside until we had swept the area, lest ambushers somehow still remain. 
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Dec 28, 2013 07:29
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19 crossbow bolts.  It's a stupid ammount of work, but this man needs a tomb, a statue, and bards to forever tell his tale.
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Dec 28, 2013 07:39
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"His guts is broken."
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Dec 28, 2013 20:18
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A moment of silence, please, for Vusdom "The Quiver" Confusedbath.
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Dec 29, 2013 02:10
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Can we get the legendary info on Vusdom? I want to know this mans life.
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Dec 29, 2013 17:09
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