I lost my precious baby.

His full name was Quetzalcoatl (an Aztec deity), but we called him Quetzie.
He was an orange tabby point siamese mix with blue eyes. A truly beautiful
animal and the sweetest cat I've ever met. We got him a little over two
years ago, rescued from abuse/neglect by the janitor. He must have been
about 10 months old when we got him. Quetzie loved us dearly and we loved
him back. He liked having his tummy rubbed and usually fell asleep on his
back. He liked eating, a lot. Last time we went to the vet for his shots,
he was 19 pounds. The vet joked he had to examine him like a dog, not a cat.
Quetzie spent most of his time indoors, but he loved being in the courtyard
too. He didn't scratch anything in the house, except for my hamper (wicker
of course) to let me know it was time to go out (4am usually). He loved
our company and would follow me into the other room to play with the
computer (me, he just sat on the floor next to me and napped). He loved
playing with his mousy (those furry mice they sell), throwing it in the air
and chasing it around. He was friendly with other people, but wary of
strangers at first. Sunday night he really wanted to go out, so we let him.
In the summer time it gets so hot during the day that we let him go out
at night, although I always worried about him. Monday morning he didn't show
up for breakfast, only the second time he's done that. I worried a lot and
went out to look for him but couldn't find him. I went to work hoping he'd
just fell asleep somewhere and didn't feel like walking home in the heat.
I drove home during my lunch break but he was nowhere to be found. I
decided it was time to make some posters to post around the neighborhood.
After work I scanned some pictures and prepared the posters. Around 6:30pm
I looked outside and saw a white mass on one of the raised beds in the
courtyard. I called him, but he didn't move. I ran downstairs, calling him,
my heart pounding and my mind thinking the worst. He was just sitting there,
looking at me. I came close and noticed he was breathing with difficuly.
I grabbed him and took him inside. He didn't make a noise. I laid with him
on the floor and touched him looking for a broken bone. He seemed ok, didn't
complain of pain, but he was breathing really fast. I called the vet but
it was closed, so I called the emergency clinic. We drove him there and
after filling a form (why do they make you wait!?!?!? here's my card, charge
whatever you need but get the vet out here now!) they took him in. They
made some x-rays and the vet called us into a room. He showed us the x-rays
and said Quetzie's diaphragm had ruptured and his liver had gotten inside
the chest cavity. He seemed fairly optimistic, said the surgery was a
simple one and most cats recovered. We signed the consent forms and they
said they'd call us around midnight. We asked to see him and we went to the
back. There he was, my baby, in the oxygen cage, looking very calm. I
petted him and told him I loved him and everything would be ok. That was
the last time I touched him. The vet called at 11pm and said he had bad
news. I didn't quite pay attention to his description of what had gone
wrong. All I could think of was my baby was dead. I'm fighthing hard to
contain the tears as I type this... I'm not being very successful.
We cried a lot that night. I had to take two prescription sleeping pills
to get some rest. We woke up at 5 in the morning and drove to pick him up.
The nurse gave us a box with a label: "Quetzie, 8/9/99" and his collar.
I lost it again as I hugged the box with my baby's remains. We drove in
silence. I chose a spot underneath a beautiful japanese maple and we started
digging. When we finished digging his grave we held his box and embraced
with him between us, like so many times before. But this was the last time.
We marked the spot with 3 large limestone rocks. I had to go to work or
we wouldn't be able to finish the project on time. I did all I had to do
in the morning and then left to go buy a little something for Quetzie's
grave. I found a beautiful japanese stone lantern at a garden shop. We
set it up last night. It look beautiful with a candle inside. We said a
prayer, thankful for the joy he gave us, for the love he shared with us,
for the good times we had together. I prayed for our mourning to be fast,
because the pain is so bad. Because I want his memory to bring laughter
and not tears. Because I'm looking at his picture in the wall of my
cubicle and I can't contain myself.
A part of me feels it's wrong for us to get another kitten right away,
but I just can't go on another day feeling so alone. I need a little
furball to remind me that life is worth living, despite all the pain it
sometimes brings. That the joy our pets (kids) give us clearly outweights
the pain of losing them. That I can look into another cat and see the love
in her eyes and be thankful for it.
Thanks for listening.

Victor

--
Victor M. Martinez, Jr. | The University of Texas at Austin
mar...@che.utexas.edu | Department of Chemical Engineering
http://www.che.utexas.edu/~martiv | Austin, TX 78712
If we knew what we were doing it would not be called research, would it?

Victor

I am SO sorry, I cried when I read your posting, it will get easier in time,
and when you are ready, get another little treasure to love, it does help,
believe me I know I have gone through it too.

Dolores UK

Victor,

What a heartbreaking and beautiful post. I am so sorry for your loss of
Quetzie. He was a lucky cat to have had people who so obviously loved him so
very much. My heart goes out to you.

Blessings,

Ginger-lyn

--
Home Page: http://www.spiritrealm.com/summer/

> Victor,
> I've been away from this newsgroup for a week or two. I lost one of
our
> Siamese cats, Sushi, very suddenly back in June - she was twelve. I am so
> sorry for your loss. And what a beautiful name for a cat. One place that
> helped me tremendously was the was the Siamese Internet Cat Club. The
> support there was tremendous. (www.meezer.com) If you join, you can post a
> picture of your Quetzie in their departed Siamese section. While there,
you
> can visit the link for Siamese Rescue (recently featured at the CBS
website
> (www.cbs.com) ), an organization devoted to placing rescued Siamese in
> loving homes. In fact, one of their facilities is located in Texas.
Siamese
> are such a unique, but misunderstood, breed. I'm so glad to see you opened
> your home to such a special kitty.
> Victor, I know that feeling of emptiness. We adopted Sushi not long
> after our first cat, a lynx-point Siamese named Ming, died. Sushi gave us
> four wonderful kittens, who we still have with us (all are eleven years
old
> now.) Do what you feel is right in your heart about adopting another
kitty.
Lara

Victor M. Martinez, Jr. <mar...@che.utexas.edu> wrote in message
news:Pine.A41.4.10.990811...@rocky.che.utexas.edu...