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But nobody has illustrated the Iguanadont...
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Apr 22, 2013 23:15
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nvining posted:But nobody has illustrated the Iguanadont...  This was a lot more my daughter than me. One day she will have an account here. When she is ready to deal with pantshitting stories. 
The Dregs fucked around with this message at 00:44 on Apr 23, 2013 |
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Apr 23, 2013 00:37
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As a heads up: next update will be tomorrow evening (PST), but a doozy.
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Apr 23, 2013 20:59
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The Dregs posted:
Why would you do this horrible thing?  "lalala...ooh look! A fan art thread, wonder what's in- "EDIT: Leperflesh posted:It's The Rare Ship, dammit, just one. All the dwarves are on board. We're sailing to hell. Also, The Noble Work. Singular. And it's "harebrained", as in, having the brain of a hare, rabbits not being known for superior cleverness. And Brutas was to Caesar. Cesar is just some guy's name. Fact-checking is for wimps and 
SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 00:54 on Apr 24, 2013 |
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Apr 24, 2013 00:52
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nvining posted:ALSO: Oh come on, it's obviously nvining himself. We haven't seen hide nor hair of his dwarf in the past year in Bronzestabbed and things are obviously being sabotaged. He's striking at the fortress from the shadows of the tunnels, then chronicling the events to avert suspicion  .
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Apr 24, 2013 05:00
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Lack of respect to The Rare Fish should be punishable by flogging.
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Apr 24, 2013 05:36
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nvining posted:
What did I make? A dwarf equivalent of Leatherface mask? 
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Apr 24, 2013 08:24
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Rurik posted:What did I make? A dwarf equivalent of Leatherface mask? Those sound like the actions a traitor would take right before they started killing dwarfs or letting forgotten beasts in to make more of their suit. I think its the cats that are the real traitors though. They should have been all killed and eaten.
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Apr 24, 2013 16:16
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The Muck is the traitor. Pave everything with Malachite to Compensate.
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Apr 24, 2013 23:44
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Rurik posted:What did I make? A dwarf equivalent of Leatherface mask? Well, sadly no. Because wool products are... well... let's see if we can't find an image of a woolen mask, shall we? Ah yes, a perfect base for someone to draw from! Also, I second that nvining is the traitor. Only traitors and scum would try and blame it on Dwarven Sanitation Engineers (sadly given the derogatory nickname of "Water Necromancers")
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Apr 25, 2013 00:26
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nvining posted:Spermy smurf singlehandedly saved the day with his super-duper adamantium armor that is awesome and his skill with an axe drove the enemies off because he is so awesome. Also I hear he is great in bed. This update was the coolest. You da man nvining!
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Apr 25, 2013 02:09
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JamieTheD posted:Well, sadly no. Because wool products are... well... let's see if we can't find an image of a woolen mask, shall we? In the regular DF thread someone (maybe scamtank?) said that the material properties of "wool cloth" are more like felt than woven cloth. If true, then the mask might be something like this:  Except that instead of sequins it has real jewels. And instead of looking like a butterfly it has an image of a dwarf killing a monster.
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Apr 25, 2013 07:26
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dwarven masquarade parties must be ... odd.
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Apr 25, 2013 07:30
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Why wouldn't it be butterflies? A butterfly was responsible for jamming a door at a critical juncture during an attack on a certain famous fortress, once...
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Apr 25, 2013 07:33
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Artificer posted:Why wouldn't it be butterflies? A butterfly was responsible for jamming a door at a critical juncture during an attack on a certain famous fortress, once... That'a why i am sticking with cats. It's the cute innocent things that end up bringing the fort down.
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Apr 25, 2013 16:46
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A monarch butterfly corpse. And we know what causes vermin to turn into remains.  Pave all cats with malachite.Angela Christine posted:In the regular DF thread someone (maybe scamtank?) said that the material properties of "wool cloth" are more like felt than woven cloth. Eh, it's not exactly said anywhere. It just makes the most sense considering that felt is stored and used as panels and bolts of the stuff and is tougher and can be easily turned into shoes and is an ancient invention compared to knitted wool and and and
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Apr 25, 2013 18:13
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scamtank posted:It just makes the most sense considering that felt is stored and used as panels and bolts of the stuff and is tougher and can be easily turned into shoes and is an ancient invention compared to knitted wool and and and Jeez, Leperflesh, it's no wonder you got that avatar.
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Apr 25, 2013 18:33
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Nah, dorf wool is spun and woven, not... pressed? matted? Whatever the term is for turning raw wool into felt.
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Apr 25, 2013 18:49
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Proper dorf wool is forged in great underground magma workshops
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Apr 25, 2013 18:58
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Dwarves braid their hair/mustaches/beards/eyebrows so they are no strangers to knotwork. I suspect dwarven cloth is made of tiny braids which they make without the use of pansy elven knitting needles. It is probably scratchy and uncomfortable but very durable and has patterns of rings and little protruding spikes and dangling chains of wool.
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Apr 25, 2013 19:09
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I like my little herds of sheep though. 
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Apr 25, 2013 19:11
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I have the weirdest idea of dwarves braiding their own beards into sweaters that they wear now.
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Apr 25, 2013 19:16
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Slashrat posted:I have the weirdest idea of dwarves braiding their own beards into sweaters that they wear now. So when their xxxsweatersxxx wear away, it's actually their beard?
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Apr 25, 2013 19:48
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The beauty of it is that beard growth counters any wear and tear. Really old dwarves could perhaps upgrade to jumpsuits.
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Apr 25, 2013 19:51
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Artificer posted:Why wouldn't it be butterflies? A butterfly was responsible for jamming a door at a critical juncture during an attack on a certain famous fortress, once...
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Apr 25, 2013 20:39
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 The Fifteenth Histories of Bronzestabbed a chronicle of unknown provenance, but possibly by the goddamn kobolds Chapter Eight Picking Up The Bodies; Merchants Arrive; Trading With The Elves; Strange Moods of a Miner; Explosion In The Mines; Politics As Usual; Ghosts Dear reader, it is not good for me to sugarcoat the facts of life and death. Therefore, you must know that we are all dust. We are all the Slaves of Armok, each and every one of us, bound in perpetual servitude. Such has it always been, the way of the dwarves.   Two more bodies were loaded into the coffins, dear readers; two more bodies, slain by forbidden beasts. We pause to salute these brave heroes of Bronzestabbed, even if we only just found out that they were brave heroes when we discovered their mangled corpses.  Meanwhile, merchants have arrived at Bronzestabbed. Dear reader, it's the damned elves. Blights on the landscape! Pissy little tree-huggers, redolent with their filth and their living above the ground and their macrame and their tofu. Have you ever actually seen the horror of Elven Crafts, dear reader? Dinky little boats, made of their awful ethically harvested wood, dear reader; inside each little boat is a figurine of an elf, and each of those little wooden elves holds a little bowl, and inside of that bowl is a small carving of granola. This is what we have to deal with. A bunch of goddamn hippies showing up at your door, demanding 'ethically crafted fair trade goods' that preserve the environment. It is almost, but not quite, like living in Portland.  Dear reader, let us not concern ourselves with why the Queen, Sankis, was trading with the elves. No, there's nothing suspicious about that at all.  What is more suspicious, perhaps, is the actions of one 'Storger the Destroyer', who found himself withdrawing from society. The visions swept across his brow, and his eyes clouded with the gray fog of The Time. He snuck into a mason's workshop, sifting his way through a pile of rock slabs, coffins, and thrones to find what he was looking for. Here, in this workshop, in this Early Summer, it would be made. The final answer.  Soon, he had the materials he needed. Finest skunk bones, beautiful malachite, some cheap tawdr...  ... dear reader, I was unaware that the fortress of Bronzestabbed actually HAD a caged murk zombie anywhere. Where did that come from?  Oh.  OH.  Ah, yes, THAT. Dear reader, an enormous section of the cavern has collapsed! Some sort of hideous cat-filled death trap crashed into the lava, several floors down, spraying lava all over the place and sending billowing clouds of smoke through the Hidden Magma Forges. Nobody seems to have died that day, dear reader, but the child 'Banemaster' seems to have disappeared around the same time and nobody has seen him since. One can only assume that he fell into the lava on top of the platform, whooping and hollering to Armok in the manner of a wizard crashing into the lava atop a particularly fine specimen of Balrog. (Of course, dear reader, it could be that something else happened to Banemaster; children are prone to ... accidents.)  A great deal of art was also destroyed, including masterpieces by 'Fitzy Fitz', 'Vagabond42', and others. Oh, there were repercussions in the art world over this. The Queen was not pleased by this. For one thing, nobody in the past however-many years had bothered to disarm the Giant, Cat-Powered Death Trap in the middle of the fortress. There would be inquiries, dear reader. Such inquiries. But first... "WeaponBoy!" she yelled. "Yes, your majesty?" asked the quivering mayor. "... you are SO fired."  Dear reader, all hail the glorious reign of HUNDRED HOGS, new mayor of Bronzestabbed! Long may he hold his finest of offices, which he immediately punted WeaponBoy out of with a cry of "Who runs Bronzestabbed?!" WeaponBoy slunk off, disgraced, his beard between his legs. Queen Sankis felt better for having randomly exercised Electoral Prejudice. But still, there was the matter of the trap. Traps don't just set themselves off, dear reader, even ones full of giant cats. Why would it happen now? Why would it happen when she was so... close... She knew what must have happened, of course. Yes. The traitor was growing bolder.  Perhaps in answer to the traitor's actions, the murk appeared outside and spread further, faster, and more terrifyingly than ever before.  Dear reader, at the bottom of the fortress, entombed in the lava itself, there is a noise. It sounds like: 'woo i'm a ghost! woo! wooo!' ... Woo indeed, dear reader, woo indeed. For soon we would all be ghosts. And there was somebody in the fortress who knew the ways of old, and who knew that things falling into lava work much better if you put a small Dwarven child into them first. nvining fucked around with this message at 09:29 on Apr 26, 2013 |
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Apr 26, 2013 09:26
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nvining posted:
drat you, nvining, I'm laughing my rear end off here.
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Apr 26, 2013 10:24
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nvining posted:
And you stay there, mister.
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Apr 26, 2013 15:00
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That cat filled death trap was great. I only wish we knew how many cats had perished in such a magnificent manner. A gif of that would be great. So do we have a huge hole in the fortress now?
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Apr 26, 2013 15:17
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Die Zombie Die posted:That cat filled death trap was great. I only wish we knew how many cats had perished in such a magnificent manner. A gif of that would be great. So do we have a huge hole in the fortress now? The death trap was about 20 levels down or so, soooo, probably not. And it's true, I COULD have disarmed it with just a simple addition of a bridge and some supports. But I kind of wanted to know what it did.
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Apr 26, 2013 15:27
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Veloxyll posted:The death trap was about 20 levels down or so, soooo, probably not. I like this outcome much better so I am glad you did not disarm it. I did not realize it was that far down. I will have to get the save so I can see for myself how much has collapsed and the effects that it could have.
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Apr 26, 2013 15:43
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So did it actually splash lava everywhere as intended, or did it just make a big ineffectual fuss? Also, I should have had the dwarves spend more time engraving it, then they would have gotten more pissed off. 
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Apr 26, 2013 19:14
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Bad Munki posted:So did it actually splash lava everywhere as intended, or did it just make a big ineffectual fuss? The greatest betrayal is the one that includes the most engravings of cheese.
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Apr 26, 2013 19:19
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Bad Munki posted:So did it actually splash lava everywhere as intended, or did it just make a big ineffectual fuss? Big, ineffectual fuss. I'm also not sure how the heck Banemaster died. I modified the trap to make it more... efficient, and added a lever to the pillar so I could detonate it by remote (which I was considering for Storyline Reasons.) As far as I can tell, what happened is that Banemaster wandered onto the device while I wasn't looking, didn't get off of the device when I removed the bridge for the Dwarven Deathtrap Improvement Crew, and probably set the thing off by stepping on the internal pressure plate. I considered restarting from my early summer save, but this seems more appropriate.
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Apr 26, 2013 20:15
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Well, that's disappointing, and yet somehow strangely satisfying, it just all feels so perfectly dwarven. On another note, that entire monolith was carved from natural stone, so it should have retained its structure, assuming it found a hard point to land on down in the lava. And I designed it so the lava shouldn't flow through the innards. There may be a scorching hot room full of cat corpses somewhere deep, deep below.
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Apr 26, 2013 20:17
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Bad Munki posted:Well, that's disappointing, and yet somehow strangely satisfying, it just all feels so perfectly dwarven. You're giving Dwarven Physics too much credit.
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Apr 26, 2013 20:29
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I finally do something, and that something is disappearing.
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Apr 26, 2013 20:47
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Tunicate posted:You're giving Dwarven Physics too much credit. No, I'm attempting to abuse them to an extent allowed only by their curious nature.
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Apr 26, 2013 20:47
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Bad Munki posted:Well, that's disappointing, and yet somehow strangely satisfying, it just all feels so perfectly dwarven. Mount an expedition to find if this is true. It should be fun.
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Apr 26, 2013 21:10
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Sadly, I think hollow spaces collapse in on themselves when there's a cave in. So if you have a structure like this (side view): code:code:
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Apr 26, 2013 21:29
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