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 I made a new Friend!
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Jan 7, 2013 13:14
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I must have missed the part where I was hospitalized.
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Jan 7, 2013 20:14
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LeJackal posted:7th Galena Didn't get the slabs on there... yet. 
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Jan 9, 2013 01:57
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 1st Sandstone There was a renowned human king that once observed “you can’t fool all the people all the time.” Perhaps that’s true amongst his own kind, but I’ve never found that to be the case for dwarves. It is quite amazing how easy it is to convince the citizens of Rare Ships that what you want is also what they want. And when they realize this may not be the case, they will readily accept whatever explanation you have for the discrepancy. The only dwarf I know of that I couldn't keep the wool pulled over was my wife, a rather remarkable lady who was sadly crushed under a bridge. Twice.  Tricking everyone into thinking that you walk on magma is the guiding principle of the Royal Fraternity of Overseers, an exclusive club of ‘professionals,’ who are called upon to manage the kingdom’s more important (and by extension wealthiest) strongholds. It’s quite a simple scheme, really. Once a fortress has survived it’s initial growing pains and begins to look like a proper Mountainhome, the Fraternity sugars up its friends in the Court and makes it clear that the Fortress is now in need of their professional hands and that the locals should step aside and let ‘those who know what they’re doing’ take over. When they land, they make sure that the rest of the Rare Ships knows how drat great the fortress is, all thanks to the expert hands of the Fraternity Overseers. That these overseers actually be competent is entirely optional. Once a Fortress hits a certain size and able to function without problems, it takes quite a while for it to unravel. And by the time it does, the Fraternity has made sure that all the Overseers they sent have departed for richer veins and leadership is returned to the locals. So when the Fortress meets it’s untimely end, it’s obvious to everyone (well, everyone important at least) that fault lies solely with the locals. This pattern has been followed for most of the Rare Ships history. As long as a few simple rules are followed, the Fratdwarfs come out as goddamn heroes no matter how many wreckages they leave behind.  And so it is now with Bronzestabbed. The Fraternity has already sent one of the ‘smarties’ over (Overseers that actually do deserve to be called professionals - they’re rarely members of our group, but we keep tabs on them and make sure they tidy up the place before we move in - which the Frat makes sure to take all the credit for). That the Queen’s first choice for replacing him wasn’t able to respond in time...weeeell I’ll let you guess whether that was a coincidence. So with the prep work complete and all the loose ends tied up, it was time to begin wringing the place dry! Of course, I must admit that I would be nervous Bronzestabbed is a tough nut to be sure. Unlike the fortresses deep in the Rare Ships, this is smack dab on the doorstep of some that-which-shall-not-be-named nasties. On top of that, the Queen’s moved in, and that’s probably the only dwarf in Rare Ships the Fraternity can’t handwave shoving in front of a mine cart. So yeah, I would be nervous, if I didn’t know with total certainty that I’m such a slick-mouthed SOB I could convince a goblin war leader he had to pay the gate toll before barging in.  I’ve been on the road a month with some other immigrants, sending the occasional message ahead to my destination as to what I expect when I arrive. There’s always a risk in waiting to come with the next migrants - always a chance he’ll muck a good thing up. That said, I prefer travelling in company. Not only is it safer, but it also gives me an opportunity to win over my soon-to-be-neighbors. By the time we get to Bronzestabbed, I’ll have convinced these addle-heads I’m the best thing to come to dwarf-kind since booze! Arglebargle Esq IV    Clocks    Frankosity   (Frankosity has no friends  )Hoomani    Kenning    Mortizzle  Pokey    PotatoManJack    rizzen    8th Sandstone Ahh, home, sweet Fortress! You know, diary, I gotta admit, this is one of the nicest places I’ve ever taken over. Usually everyone covered in filth and wearing ragged clothes that they haven’t changed in years, the road to the gatehouse is littered with the bones of dwarves and various enemies, and everything smells like cat piss. But this...I daresay it’s decent. Which is great news for me! Where there’s no stench there’s no rot, my uncle used to say! (at least before he was seal in magma, but details...) I meet up with the bloke that had been holding things down until I arrived. I’m told that he was overseer when this place was built originally, and by the looks of it he never wanted to do it again, however briefly. Still, the fort didn’t implode in the month it was missing my leadership. He tells me that in his brief interim rule, there had been two births-Clamps McGraw and Ceebees - a death, and an artifact created. Ceebees   I first ask for details about the artifact. It was made by Nil Bastionhall, who named it Erithaval Siboshstistras. And Osram be praised, because it is a beaut!     I strongly consider making this lovely thing the official overseer regalia. For now, I’m holding off on that-there might be some muscle here that’ll need buttering up. Regarding the deceased dwarf, I ask if he had any next of kin. Leperfish tells me he did not. Awesome, that’s one less house I need to worry about! In fact, I quickly look at where the dead dwarf’s dwelling was, and I gotta give credit to whoever zoned that area. I never would have thought to put permanent dwellings in soft mud. Apparently it’s supposed to be an Ugath ethnic neighborhood, but to hell with that-we are all children beneath the mountains! We’re all going to be friends until I decide that I need a scapegoat.  It’s at this time that I also take a gander at my big project-the Overseer’s Palace!  You see, every dwarf loves big, beefy fortifications. It makes them feel safe, let them know they’ll be safe no matter what! The trouble is, dwarves may be dumb about a lot of things, but they have the good sense to know that they should probably be living behind the walls keeping the nasties at bay. And to be frank, looking at your imposing Fortress from the inside just doesn’t have the same feeling. That’s why you need an inner keep - a place that’ll give them that cozy feeling of utter invincibility without having to have your head tucked into it. That such an edifice can be used as a symbol to cow the residents into submission is merely incidental  .The only issue, it seems, is that whoever placed that first ballista has it facing the wrong way. Retard. I’ll get around to fixing it. In the meantime, I order up some more ballistae.  The one thing that Leperfish didn’t start was mining for more adamantine. I can’t say I’m surprised. One (confirmed) fortress being overrun by daemons after mining it was apparently enough to have all of Rare Ships scared stiff of using the stuff. Still, there’s no reason we can’t have all the adamantine we want. We just have to be smart about where to dig, that’s all.  Before retiring, I invite LeJackal over to my new ‘house’ for drinks. Sure by the year is up I’ll have taken most of the credit he probably deserves for things looking so well, but for the moment, I felt the gentledwarf-thing to do was to show my gratitude for making this a cakewalk. The guy seems a bit on edge, but seemed really appreciative that I’d break out the good stuff on his behalf. I will be sure to put in a good word with the Fraternity for him - this here is a perfect overseer to be milking. Before I retire for the night, I’m approached by a Qword. It seems that his son’s gone missing. I tell him to come back tomorrow. Normally I’d blow this rear end in a top hat off, but there’s hardly anything else going on in the fort. I’ll give him a day or two’s worth of attention and then move on to bigger fish to fry. SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 04:19 on Jan 9, 2013 |
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Jan 9, 2013 04:15
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New Friend does Make me stronger.
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Jan 9, 2013 13:34
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I must have also missed the part where my mother, father, sister, and brother in law were also sent to a "hospital" and died of "dehydration". I hope I come back to haunt you. I blame lejackal for this travesty of a dwarf death.
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Jan 9, 2013 19:53
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9th Sandstone *scracthed out* CHOAD-GOBBING GOBLIN-FUCKER L- *scratched out* RUINED EVERYTHING! *scratched out* *scratched out* THIS oval office EVER MERITED *scratched out* AND WHAT SORT OF *scratched out* IN THE FIRST PLACE THIS WHOLE loving FORTRESS-GODS loving DAMNIT! THIS IS *scratched out* AND *scratched out* IN THE MIDDLE OF IT!!! SWEET OSRAM WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! JUST-gently caress! gently caress! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10th Sandstone ...uhh, where am I? Oh, my quarters. Did anyone read what I put down before I drank 2 gallons of industrial alcohol taken from the tanners?...doesn't look like it, but I'll scratch out any identifying information-still want to preserve my feelings. ...no dammit, Jarl Phoebos, your an Overseer. This has to go on record! If only so someone else won't screw the pooch next time. Okay, where do I begin? I had Qword come into my office. He tells me his little brat TildeaTH has been missing since late last Felsite. When I ask him if there was anything he could tell me to help with the case, and he said that the previous overseer LeJacal thought TildeaTH and another boy were part of some elven cabal to subvert Bronzestabbed and announced that the two had been sealed in a secret prison. Well, once I heard that, I knew what happened-LeJackal needed a scapegoat and chose the two kids as his victims! Clever, I thought at the time. That was also the point that I initially decided that no further investigation was necessary and to sweep the matter under the rug. I gave Qword a platitude about the risks of living on the frontier, about how there are so many important issues that Overseers must contend with, that LeJackal can't possibly be held responsible for what one of his energetic followers decided to do, and that the best thing his family could do for poor TildeaTH was to move past and heal. I thanked Qword for bringing his troubles to my attention and reminded him that I have an "Open Door" policy, and I expected that to be the end of that. Qword refused to leave and said that finding out what happened to a former overseer should be my top priority. My heart froze when he said that. I asked him to explain what he meant. Qword elaborated-it seems that when he was three, TildeaTH had been elected overseer. By that point I could barely keep myself from shaking. I assured Qword that I would find out what happened to TildeaTH. Satisfied he left. As soon as he did, I instructed a hauler to bring the alcohol to my quarters. For the next fifteen minutes I was screaming all sorts of profanities aimed at, well everyone. As soon as the hauler brought my shipment I proceeded to chug it down until I passed out. I guess an explanation is necessary for someone who it isn't obvious why I reacted the way I did. Ugath knows it wouldn't be obvious to LeJackal. Remember two entries ago how I said that the Fraternity's scheme works flawlessly as long as a few rules are followed? Well it turns out it really is just one rule: Never blame a former overseer for anything. Even if you catch'em red handed doing something bad, never hold them accountable for it. Because the moment you do, it poisons the Fortress. None of the mole-rats will ever think to blame their troubles on the overseer as long as he or she treats his predecessors like loving saints. Or if they do, they're sufficiently cowed that they won't act on it. But once you throw one of your peers under the mine cart, well, those two assumptions go right out the door! For an overseer to harm of kill the guys who were previously in charge, it sends a signal to everyone in the fort that things are going to poo poo! It's no longer Morning in Rare Ships. Dwarves will actually demand overseers be accountable for what happened. And most damning, they sure as hell are not going to allow an overseer to ever pack up and leave, because once it's been demonstrated that an overseer can be the target of retribution, no one's going to let the chance to do so slip away. Of course, the Fraternity knows this, and takes steps to make sure it never sends a brother to a Fortress that's gone bad. Furthermore, the Fraternity puts "The Cloud of Doom" over fortresses like these, convincing the rest of the Rare Ships that the place is doomed and that traders and migrants should go elsewhere. It takes a while, but the slow starving of outside resources eventually makes for a self-fulfilling prophecy. How this fortress was missed, I think I know the reason-TildeaTH becoming overseer was pretty obviously a power play by his father, and somewhere on the way back to civilization wires got crossed and the Fraternity put down Qword as overseer. So that explains why I freaked out. Now only one question remains-how the gently caress do I get out of this? Well I do know one thing-I need to tell the Fraternity right away. True, they're probably as likely to leave me here to rot as they are not, but right now they're the only chance I have for escaping. Second, I got to find out what happened to TildeaTH. Even with all the uncertainty, I know that I'm going to need to answer that question. If there's time to save his rear end, that'd be great, but at this point I'm not hopeful. I don't think LeJackal's going to be forthcoming on details, but at this point I have few other leads. Well, that and reading his Overseer journal to see if there are any clues. gently caress, I can't remember the last time I read another Overseer's journal.  One thing I can say though is that the Overseer's Palace cannot be built soon enough. SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 02:56 on Jan 10, 2013 |
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Jan 10, 2013 02:46
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I accept the invitation to Phoebos' quarters, filing a copy of my RSVP into my personally coded files. Having accepted and sent the proper notification along the appropriate channels, I turned to my notes on the new Overseer. I examined closely his notes on expansion of a new project, an 'Overseer's Palace' complete with fortifications and ballista. Normally I might consider sharing the Queen's interest in siege engines a benefit, but in this case it came married to a wasteful attitude toward other resources. Such a situation is completely distasteful and not in the keeping for an Overseer, at least not according to the O.R.E. which is paramount to smooth fortress functionality. (Overseer Regulations on Ethics.) Regardless, he is my successor and deserves consideration. I bundled some of my notes in the case he asks for advice or guidance. I have a feeling that he will not. On the first sight of the old dwarf, I immediately got negative feelings about him. His long beard is only singly braided, showing a lack of motivation and drive, which disgusts me when coupled with his tangled teeth and offensive corpulence. He offered me whip wine, which I refused, at which point I think my disapproval of his actions showed in my face, even if I hadn't said a word about it yet. That is when he began to shake his fist, one finger out, at me in anger. For one reason or another, the thought that TildeATH was in safe custody was driving him to some amount of dismay. I don't believe that Phoebos could properly analyze the situation as I had done. I doubt he could even if he had the information I had at the time. I would have liked for him to continue with his intimidation tactic, as he appeared to be an excellent Intimidator and I do appreciate seeing a craftsdwarf at their work, but I ran out of patience long before he finished. I took hold of his wrist, and found that Phoebos was unquestionably weak, and unable to resist my movement of his arm. I am luckily quite tough and slow to tire, so the physical confrontation was quite brief. That is when my ability to Pacify came into play. As it turns out, my skill at Pacifying is as strong as his at Intimidation, and so we seemed equally matched, except: I won the contest of physical might with ease, and I act from a position of greater knowledge. Therefore, I had the upper hand, and I feel that Phoebos knew it. "I will be brief, Overseer. TildeATH is someplace safe, where none can harm him and no harm can come to him. This is predicated on yourself abstaining from action, of course. I say this because there have been constructed a series of defense measures designed to counter the forces of darkness - attempting to interfere will simply direct them at would be rescuers. The safeguards also trigger self-destruct mechanisms inside the prison, as we cannot afford TildeATH to be taken alive by these evil forces. The control mechanisms that manipulate these defenses have either been dismantled or incorporated into meta-defenses that will also trigger the same destructive losses of life. Finally, the prison itself has been constructed in a secret location that no dwarf knows save myself and the prisoners. I never even wrote down the smallest technical detail of the construction or defenses, to guard against traitors in the ranks. In short, I am the only dwarf that even knows of the prison's location or construction, and the only mechanisms associated with prison control not rigged to kill everyone are inside the prison itself. TildeATH is his own warden, am I clear? Oh, this is all naturally top secret under FFS (Fortress Future Safety) Regulation 204.3(c), naturally. You're the only dwarf who knows even these meager details about this arrangement, as allowed by dint of your office. Besides TildeATH of course, he probably enjoys his little palace. Boys and their toys." I can crack a good joke from time to time, skilled as I am at Comedy, it is also useful when I Console others. "If Qword wants to give you grief, tell him his son is safe and that is all he needs to know. He appreciates a firm authoritarian tone." I opened my satchel at that point, smoothly moving on to another point of the conversation. "As you are asking for information and advice, I have another for you. This so-called 'Overseer's Palace' is a point of concern. It is swallowing up a vast amount of resources, contributing to an overall decrease of fortress productivity and recovery of the militia. This would normally be excused if the project were of a pressing concern, but I fail to see how that is the case. An emergency redoubt, located at the magma forges, has been constructed and awaits expansion and finishing out. This...palace...has fortifications that serve no purpose, no farmable locales, no fuel or material sources, and lacks necessary space for even a quarter of the population. Its only purpose seems to be a celebration or aggrandization of your office, a practice I warn against. You may share the love of siege engines, but this does not make you royalty. You are a civil servant, Phoebos, your projects are supposed to advance the fort and its inhabitants, not nurse your vanity on the milk of temporary power." I close my ledgers, buckle the clasp. "If you seek glory and fame, give up your position and join the militia. Our reward for our labors is the continued prosperity of The Rare Ship and a spot on the Wall of Overseers. Build your projects for the dwarves of this fort, name them for those that give their lives, and Etest will have palaces enough when you are done." I show myself out.
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Jan 10, 2013 05:26
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Check the dates of my update-I had drinks with LeJackal before I threw my little tantrum. I will have consistency with contributing entries, dammit!  This LeJackal...he is worse than I first assessed. It's like he doesn't even realize that he's no longer overseer! I'm in the middle of making my official entry, and he's there standing over my shoulder, gives me his assessment of this child-overseer business without me even bringing it up to him, and to top it all off, he has the nerve to suggest I join the militia! I was going to hold off on doing anything drastic because even if the proverbial Hell's already breached I don't want to widen the hole any more. But now, I'm not so sure. I'm not committing anything to stone until I know drat sure that this jackass isn't snooping around!
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Jan 10, 2013 06:15
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SirPhoebos posted:Check the dates of my update-I had drinks with LeJackal before I threw my little tantrum. I will have consistency with contributing entries, dammit! My mistake, I thought it was an invitation. I can retract it and we can work something out more in line with the narrative if you'd like. Email works for you?
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Jan 10, 2013 06:32
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LeJackal posted:My mistake, I thought it was an invitation. I can retract it and we can work something out more in line with the narrative if you'd like. Email works for you? Nah. I think I like the idea of youdwarf reading over medwarf's shoulder and  a response at him. Makes things more...interesting 
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Jan 10, 2013 06:39
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It is delightful that the Overseer interacts with journal entries, when he chooses to do so. However, I think it may be appropriate to remind everyone that journal entries are, by default, non-canonical until and unless an overseer incorporates stuff into the official narratives (marked by the Update banner). So just keep that in mind. Quarrelsome retired overseers may be heeded or ignored, at your pleasure.
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Jan 10, 2013 07:03
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Leperflesh posted:It is delightful that the Overseer interacts with journal entries, when he chooses to do so. However, I think it may be appropriate to remind everyone that journal entries are, by default, non-canonical until and unless an overseer incorporates stuff into the official narratives (marked by the Update banner). Such is the zany world of an LP thread. Luckily every dwarf is an alcoholic, so continuity errors are easy to explain away. SirPhoebos posted:Nah. I think I like the idea of youdwarf reading over medwarf's shoulder and My dwarf is the very essence of with a mild dose of  . Sometimes the only hope is crushing regulation combined with glass prisons! Ask S.H.E.I.L.D.Also, content. I snapped some StoneSense pictures using the save I handed off, and unless Phoebos changed stuff it should be accurate still.  Here we see the Genin Memorial Ancillary Scaffolding as well as the roof of the Gnu barracks for the Gnu Order. Those weird yellow blocks are floor bars, which can be shot through. You can see where it links those new barracks to the mini-defense tower near the older entrance.  Here we can see into the barracks a bit, and the fortifications surrounding it.  Then ground level, and there you can see the edge of the Typhus Memorial Depot.  BONUS CONTENT  Behold the CrackMaster Cultural Vault! Complete with corpse pants.  As you can guess I have never used StoneSense before. LeJackal fucked around with this message at 08:38 on Jan 10, 2013 |
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Jan 10, 2013 07:22
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New Friend does Make me Faster.
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Jan 10, 2013 10:48
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Oh my, dorfed at last! I really was not expecting it to last this long but am excited nonetheless.
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Jan 10, 2013 15:48
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LeJackal posted:7th Galena A bit late, but here's something to commemorate the vault that so beautifully memorializes our 
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Jan 11, 2013 02:01
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Loden Taylor posted:A bit late, but here's something to commemorate the vault that so beautifully memorializes our This is wonderful!
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Jan 11, 2013 02:54
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Loden Taylor posted:A bit late, but here's something to commemorate the vault that so beautifully memorializes our Really beautiful and touching. It embodies perfectly what I feel Crackmaster would have wanted.
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Jan 11, 2013 04:08
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Three-Phase posted:Didn't get the slabs on there... yet. LeJackal posted:
Loden Taylor posted:A bit late, but here's something to commemorate the vault that so beautifully memorializes our This is all sublime! Goddamn. LeJackal posted:Really beautiful and touching. It embodies perfectly what I feel Crackmaster would have wanted. You feel correctly, that piece evokes exactly the type of mood I picture my dwarf in from day to day. A somber, serious frame of mind where she occasionally forgets who's supposed to be dead already.
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Jan 11, 2013 04:14
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11th Sandstone Okay. It’s time to get to work. I got a lot to do if I’m going to save my hide. I will admit that, as one of my younger peers in the Frat said, I’m ‘loving old!’ and there’s a good possibility that I’ll keel over naturally before this fort burns to the ground. But I’m not one to take chances, at least where my own wellbeing is concerned.  After checking on the progress of the palace and sending a communication to the Fraternity,, I begin a series of meetings to tackle the Fortress’ unseen crisis. My first meeting for the day is with Qword. Now that I’ve had a chance to vent, I see that I haven’t asked him for all the relevant information. I ask if he’s done any investigating on his own. By luck he has! He tells me that the last time anyone saw his son was on the 28th of Felsite, when a weaponsmith spotted him being led by LeJackal down to the lower levels of the fort, along with the other dwarfspawn that’s gone missing (what’s his name? Pickled Tink?). After which no one has laid an eye on the two boys. I thank Qword for the information. While there is still much to discover, it does narrow the possible scenarios. TildeaTH is certainly alive for the moment. Otherwise there would be reports of his spirit haunting. But if no one has seen the two, then that means that their prison is very large indeed. I will have to inquire with the miners. Also, I should look into LeJackal’s overseer journal entries  My next meeting for the day is with the Captain of the Guard, Gnu Sheriff in Town. After last night’s intrusion by my predecessor, it is imperitive that I win over the military as fast as possible. To that end, I present Gnu Sheriff with Erithaval Siboshstistras. He is deeply grateful to be honored with such a masterpiece. “by the way,” I say is as off-hand a manner as possible, “I was wondering if you could perhaps post a security detail by my quarters. Last night I saw LeJackal reading through my records. It was rather awkward.” Gnu Sheriff agrees right away. I don’t divulge any more information-I do not wish to tip my hand, especially when I’m unsure what I intend to do with it. “Also, I would like to you monitor him for the time being.” “Why?” the Captain of the Guard asked. “Do you suspect him of something?” “No...” I said, feigning reluctance. “It’s just that...there’s something off about him. Better to be safe than sorry, and all that.” Gnu Sheriff told me that he would put his most discreet men on it. “My final meeting for the day is with the Hammerer, Vox Nihil to see if he knows anything regarding the whereabouts of our missing overseer. He had no information, as I suspected. But the meeting was still productive as I noticed something off about what he was carrying? “Tell me, why do you have a wooden crossbow?” “Oh this?” he said, holding up the flimsy thing. “It’s what I use for hammering.” I pinch my eyebrows. Bunch of liberal pansies in this fortress! Leiniency may have been required when this place was still trying to ensure it’s survival, but this is a proper mountainhome, and it’s going to start acting like it! Besides, I may need Vox’s services in the near future-I want to make sure he’s properly equipped. “That’s hardly an appropriate tool for a hammerer, is it? Why should every other profession here get the best tools of the trade while you languish? Here, let’s give you something proper...”  12th Sandstone I order additional exploratory tunnels. With the way things are going, might as well go big or go home.   I retrieve LeJackal’s journal and begin going over it. In over a century of overseership, I never found it necessary to consult with a prior overseer’s comments-I always felt that trying to continue someone else’s plans was just cheating. But this is a crisis. I read over the journal entries and two things pop out. First, for all his lack of common sense, my predesescor was a drat fine overseer. Almost to a fault really-it’s like tha man couldn’t leave anything to chance, and beating himself up over the death of just one dwarf in a fort of 200+ souls struck me as really quaint. Second, there is a lot of information that has been blotted out. From his surprise visit two nights ago, it was pretty clear that he sincerely believes that TildeaTH and Tickled Pink really were threats to the safety of the fortress, and he went to great effort to erase any clue as to what may have happened to them. His attempt to conceal the truth was not flawless, however. After a long review, I find what I am looking for. In one early entry, LeJackal left a single mention of an “Emergency Situation Capsule.” Or as overseers not so obsessed with acronyms like to call it, the “Oh, poo poo-room.” To the unititiated it is a series of rooms in which, in case total collapse of a fortress is imminent, a few lucky souls can enter and with a pull of a lever seal themselves off from the outside and hold out nearly indefinitely. Than once the dangers subsides, the dwarves can pop out and reclaim the fortress. But if someone were to disable a few mechanism, than the capsule becomes a tomb in which the dwarves inside are trapped forever. I myself have used the Oh, poo poo-room for such a purpose on more than a few occasions when there was a particularly bothersome dwarf that a simple hammering or a bridge accident couldn’t resolve neatly. And now I was positive that this was how LeJackal used the one he designed. Finding it, of course, will be tricky. The former overseer redacted every other mention of this location. No matter. Such a complex is, by it’s nature, too intricate for one dwarf to dig out and supply. I shall place inquries with the craftsmen and haulers of the fort, asking for key pieces of equipment in certain quantities. Particularly for ones delivered deep into the fortress. It will take a while, but I will find the missing boy overseer. What I will do when I find him, though, I haven’t decided. I am still weighing my options, and I need to get word from the Fraternity before I decide on anything. 13th Sandstone While I am inspecting construction on the Palace, I spot the manager Kaishai touring the area as well. gently caress off, Kaishai! I will have no one else snooping about.  He hesitates, saying that he brings important news. I ask him what it is, and he says that a caged animal has reverted to it’s wild state.  I ask him if it is still caged, and he says it is. I ask why he felt it was important that I should be told this. He responds that a previous overseer left instructions that he be informed of such events. I repeat my request to Kaishai that he gently caress off. 16th Sandstone  I take some time to tour the rest of the fortress and find this area. I ask what it's for, and am informed that it is to serve as the Fortress' catacombs.  Well it's comforting to know I'm not the only overseer to conclude that this place is hosed. I guess.20th Sandstone  Well so much for making a three-story Palace. It seems that where the floor of the dining hall would have gone empties into an open cavern. I almost shake down the foreman to find out who placed the palace in this spot, but remember just in time that it was me. I swear to myself, vowing to find someone to blame. So I guess a two-story will have to do. Still not bad, to be honest. But now I thing it needs a some “zaz” to recapture my original grand idea. I think a lava moat will do the trick. 25th Sandstone  The top floor is proceeding nicely, and I instruct digging to begin of the second floor. I also have a storage room constructed to clean up the place. The balista is also finished being installed. Still need to get it facing the right way.   I also order the construction of a throne for the palace. I think that one made of our most illustrious metal is the most appropriate.  1st Timbur  Bronzestabed, as it now stands. So far everything is running smoothly. No word from the Fraternity of Overseers on how to handle the mess I have inheireted. Until I hear from them, my hands are tied. SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 05:44 on Jan 11, 2013 |
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Jan 11, 2013 05:34
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Tickled Pink and his incessant optimism disgusts me. I think I shall devour him. I wish that I could deface a temple and be blasted by some kind of interesting curse, so that I could overcome my basic dwarfish nature that prevents me from even flicking his stupid ear. I bet whatever stupid overseer these fuckwits have selected doesn't even know where we are. It's probably another in a long line of overseers too stupid to even tell which dwarves are male and which are female. He's probably relying on that entire corrupt group of villains that was so happy to pretend to take my overseership seriously so that they could slide into all the cush positions. The worst is that lady sheriff, wait no, she's not as bad as that other overseer's wife, the one who sold her whole family out just for magma forges. The women of Bronzestabbed, when they're not too busy running around naked except for a bronze sword, are the most vile villains on the face of this tiny planet. Pickled Tink is smiling at me again, I wonder if we're friends... I tell him the only thing I know for sure, "I'm five!" But am I five? There is a curse on the children of Bronzestabbed. It is not so useful a curse as vampirism or were-donkey-ness, but it is a curse nonetheless. We are trapped by our age, but mocked by an existence that reveals itself upon us as if we were a hundred years old. The women and children of Bronzestabbed, when they're identified as such, are the true demons here, worse than any Fanged Orange Mammoth of Hell.
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Jan 11, 2013 05:57
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In my defense, my dwarf is pretty drat old 
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Jan 11, 2013 07:41
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New Friend does Make me POWERFUL. NOW I WAIT.
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Jan 11, 2013 12:03
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SirPhoebos posted:In my defense, my dwarf is pretty drat old I get it now, you're building a luxurious nursing home for your twilight years!
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Jan 11, 2013 16:28
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Loden Taylor posted:A bit late, but here's something to commemorate the vault that so beautifully memorializes our Fantastic. I've really missed your musical contributions and I'm delighted you've chosen to make another! It's in the 3rd post. Three-Phase posted:Didn't get the slabs on there... yet. I haven't added this, on the assumption that it's a work in progress.
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Jan 11, 2013 20:24
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14th Sandstone 244 Another month, another half-mad Overseer who wouldn't know the business end of an ingot if it hit him in the business end of himself, but I'll give him this: no children have vanished since SirPhoebus took over. I went on a discreet hunt yesterday for signs of the missing two. (Picked Tink, anyway. I haven't forgotten TildeAth's Overseership so far as to particularly want to run into him after he's been locked up. Assuming that's what happened and LeJackal didn't bury their corpses in the plump helmet fields, but some bureaucratic acronym about the ramifications of rotting dwarf bodies near mushrooms meant for eating would have crossed my desk in that case. Disgusting Effects of Consuming Assassinated Youths? How about Advanced Study of the Interment of Noncompliant Innocents in Nutritional Estates? My head hurts now. Probably from banging it against the desk so hard.) I didn't find anything other than the latest enormous building I may someday be called on to engrave. The Overseer spied me and I made up an excuse to be there since he seemed testy; in fact, he kept yelling about procreational activities. Also he thought I was a man. Related things maybe? I can't say much for his taste if he prefers his men without beards. But then, we're talking about someone who wants an adamantine throne that's not even supposed to be made out of swords as best I can tell. He should reconsider because then when a forgotten beast came for him he could pick up the throne and hurl it as a weapon and probably cut a head or two clean off. Then again he might do it when an annoying dwarf came for him, too. I think I'll keep the notion to myself.
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Jan 11, 2013 21:35
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Leperflesh posted:Fantastic. I've really missed your musical contributions and I'm delighted you've chosen to make another! It's in the 3rd post. Leperflesh, I was just having a look through the art post (holy crap, some of you guys are good), and you've missed my anti-elf propaganda poster. It's on page 116.
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Jan 12, 2013 03:53
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Neddy Seagoon posted:
So I did! Thanks for the heads-up.
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Jan 12, 2013 21:37
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I haven't been able to keep up with this LP in a while, but I'm pleased to see that my dwarf still brings sunshine and happiness to the whole fortress. 
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Jan 12, 2013 21:47
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I just finished marathoning the whole LP and goddamn it's good, great work to everyone there has been some truly talented artist and writers involved, and I've really enjoyed it, of course now I'm upset that I have to sit around and wait for updates like everyone else.
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Jan 12, 2013 22:18
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Just a heads up: update will be tonight. I've tried contacting Leperflesh to send him the seasonal save, but I haven't heard back from him. Here's a sneak peak:  EDIT: so, both lpix and imgur are being real assholes for me and I can't upload anything bigger than 200kb. At the same time, Google Drive keeps desyncing on me, making writing the update a real hassle.There's still plenty of day left, but this is getting frustrating. EDIT 2: This is loving irritating now. I had absolutely no problems with Google Drive in the past and now it pulls this poo poo  .EDIT 3: I'm gonna make a shorter update than I wanted, because this is getting ridiculous. SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 22:14 on Jan 13, 2013 |
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Jan 13, 2013 17:34
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1st Timbur I place the order to begin digging out the lower floor of the palace. My plan is to have the entrance to the palace be on the 2nd floor via drawbridge. When raised, the palace will be completely separated from the rest of the fortress by a lava moat. Of course, there will still be room for dwarves to look and admire my doom citadel and the siege engines that protect it. The great hall and the throne room are to be two stories tall, so I will excavate them from the top going down rather than dig out the rooms from the same floor. I will need to be careful not to accidentally dig out the pillars, of course. It won’t be the deepest room I’ve dug out this way, but it will be impressive enough.  Speaking of lava, I begin the process of digging down to the fortress’ lava source. So far only one magma pool has been identified, but it seems to be large enough that it can serve as a source for the moat. I’ll avoid using the tubes that power the magma forges to avoid accidentally depowering it.   8th Timbur While touring Bronzestabbed (doing my best not to dwell on the “lost boys” issue while I’m still gathering information) I visited the dwellings that were used by the first inhabitants. I imagine conditions then were pretty miserable. I wouldn’t know, though, since I always take over a fort when things are nice and cozy. But seeing as they are no longer of any use, I order that the walls be removed. The space can be put to better use for farming.  10th Timbur Work on the lower floor of the palace continues. I order additional rooms to be carved out. I also add in a closet space/private room.  14th Timbur Well poo poo. I knew this would happen. So it seems that I ordered a room to be too big and so now it no longer lines up with the space above.  ...eh gently caress it. It’ll get covered in lava anyway. 17th Timbur Quite a lot happened today. As I give the order for the floor of the throne room to be excavated, the Queen mandates the construction of ballista arrows. Seeing as how I was going to be making more ballistae, this is hardly an inconvienience.   As I place the order, I receive word that a caravan has arrived from the Rare Ships. Splendid! I’ll sell an adamantine weapon or two to make sure the kingdom knows we not only have adamantine here, but we have enough that we’re willing to trade it. That should buy me some time to make my escape from here before everything goes to hell.  I head up to the depot, even helping to bring up goods to trade. Helping with hauling is a great way to make dwarves think you care about them (hah!), so I continue to do so despite my advanced age. When I get there, I seWhen I get there, I’m amazed to see that the traders are there already! There’s just one problem-these are humans, not dwarves. “Why’d you tell me that merchants from Rare Ships were here?” I e that the merchants are already in the depot-except that these are human merchants, not dwarves.  “What’s the big idea, Bannock?” I ask the broker. “I thought you said that the merchants were from the Rare Ships?” “I did,” she replied. “Those merchants are still making their way to the fortress. These merchants are just about to depart.” Oh, right. I mumble something about testing her when I’m interrupted by an announcement that a kobold thief has been spotted. I instruct Gnu Order to take care of the problem and keep me posted on the thief’s activities.   It turns out to be...less than exhilerating. The kobold comes across a stray cat and attacks it, injuring the critter. But it seems that the cat was unfazed by the assault and stoop it’s ground. This was enough to spook the kobold into fleeing from our sights.  Well that was anticlimactic. I was about to head back downstairs, when I receive word that an a goblin ambush was attacking the arriving caravan. Aware that these ambushes can sometimes cascade into all out sieges, I instruct the One Way Outs to engage them.   As I give the order, an alarm rings out through the Fortress: “MURK!”  What did he say? Burk? SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 00:03 on Jan 14, 2013 |
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Jan 13, 2013 22:18
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SirPhoebos posted:Just a heads up: update will be tonight. I've tried contacting Leperflesh to send him the seasonal save, but I haven't heard back from him. Yeah uh, sorry bout that, seems my inbox has somehow gotten a bit clogged recently. No need to send me the seasonal now, you can send all the saves when your term is over.
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Jan 13, 2013 22:30
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17th Timbur The watchdwarf shouted again, but I couldn't hear it very well. I had already sent out The Gnu Order to relieve the incoming merchants, so the constant alarms was beginning to give me ulcers. "Could you say that again? There's a berk?" "MURK!" shouted way too loud than appropriate. I was trying to figure out what that was supposed to mean when she asked, exasperated, "weren't you briefed on it before you came here?!?" Briefed on it? Oh yeah, murk! Nasty stuff that. Better keep an eye on it, then! I made my way up to the ramparts as quick as my legs could carry me. When I arrived though, I could not make out what everyone was yelling about. "It's right over there!" a guardsman shouted with increasing panic. I squinted towards where they were pointing, and at last made out the sickly green clouds. "Oh, well it's still plenty far away, no need to panic yet," I said confidently. "That's the tail end of the murk cloud!" screamed Internet Kracken, who seemed like he could use a drink or three at the moment. "The front end has already enveloped the entire merchant caravan. And the goblin ambush unit. And most of The Gnu Order." I refocused on where the over-stressed dwarf was pointing. From the large mass of fiendish murk emerged mutated dwarves and goblins alike. The few members of Gnu Order not caught by the murk were torn to pieces in seconds. "Ah well, losses will happen," I said without showing the least concern. "Seal off the Fortress. We'll pick off the poor saps with crossbows." Everyone around me seemed to be taken a back by my decisive leadership, but quickly left to carry out my order. For the moment I felt pretty pleased with myself. But as the monstrous congo-line approached and the gates remained open, I felt a knot forming in my stomach. I rushed down to see what could be the hold up. When I got to the hall containing the levers, the scene was utter chaos. A semi-circle of spooked dwarves had formed around one of the peasants who was wildly swinging a heavy plow around like it weighed nothing, pummeling on an unfortunate soul that was only trying to save the Fortress. "What's going on?" I demanded from the nearest body I could spot. "I-it's Aesop Poprock, Overseer!" the panic-stricken dwarf said. "He was about to pull the lever when he got this wild look in his eyes and started to pummel anyone that got near him and shouting something about your predecessor."  As if on queue, the possessed dwarf shouted in a voice not of this world: "LeJackal!!!" Right then, all my fake confidence fled me. I knew that I was too late to save TildeaTH, and now his ghost had made his murderer's crime known to the entire Fortress. Even if I could somehow handle the murk horde that was by now at the gates, the consequences of LeJackal's folly were going to come fast and hard. And there would be no way I could get out unscathed. In this situation, there is only one course of action: save my own hide. "Right, forget the lever. Implement Plan: Stone Breach!" And I took off before anyone could ask what said plan entailed. I moved with a haste I hadn't in decades, returning to my quarters to get my emergency kit for whenever I had to ditch town in a hurry. Once I did so, I carefully made my way towards the fortress exit, calling upon all my years as a con-dwarf to slip out unnoticed. By the time I returned to the main living area, the scene was a bloodbath. Murked dwarves and goblins rampaged through the halls, killing anyone they laid eyes on. Those dwarves in the militia did their best to stand their ground, but they were completely disorganized, while the murked beasts seemed to show a remarkable level of coordination, isolating and destroying any possible threat. I guess that's the end of Bronzestabbed. I feel a quote from the Scriptures of Osram are appropriate: "gently caress you, got mine." Very briefly, I spot LeJackal in the chaos. He doesn't see me. The dumb fool is actually trying to organize a defense. Well good luck with that. I do no linger to see what richly-deserved end he meets. Time is of the essence. I cross the gate without a single soul spotting me. I make my way westward away from the murk cloud and towards Rare Ships. I'm about to consider myself in the clear when I see a squad of dwarven Axelords pop out from behind cover, each bearing the finest adamantine armor of the Fraternity. Osram be praised! I rush up to thank them for their timely arrival, which is when I notice the dwarf that is leading them. I recognize the surly, permanently disgusted face immediately. It's one that I hoped to never see while I was in the field.  "S...StarkRavingMad!!" The top troubleshooter of the Fraternity of Overseers looked like your typical dwarf merchant save for the pair of ivory swords at his waists. "Didn't expect you to cock things up this quickly, gramps!" he said as he took a swig from his flask. I stammered, knowing that every word could very well be my last. "I didn't know the Fraternity would respond so quickly to my letter," I said weakly, trying to ascertain the appropriate amount of groveling I'd need to survive. "Is that so?" StarkRavingMad said while giving me a pitiful look. "I guess you haven't yet realized that the Fraternity of Overseers is no longer a bunch of self-congratulating inbred parasites that gets to do what it loving pleases. I'd tell you to get up to loving speed, but not only do I give zero fucks, but I don't think you'd be able to wring much benefit out of doing so." "Now look," I said, attempting to assert myself. My heart was pounding, and my voice rose as if to be heard over it. "When I received the offer to take over Bronzestabbed, I was told that there were no political difficulties that I'd have to-" "Look, calm down pops! I'm not here to dish out the fate you richly deserve. My orders are to retrieve Her Majesty from Bronzestabbed. The last thing the Rare Ships needs is for its monarch to bite it in the middle of some poo poo hole." I blink, as I can hardly believe the news. I'm...I'm going to live? "That...that's wonderful!" I exclaim as I grasp StarkRavingMad by the shoulders. "Get the Queen out of Bronzestabbed, and when we return to The Rare Ships, they won't ever be able to stop singing the Fraternity's praise!" I then feel a sharp pain in my abdomen. I look down, and see that StarkRavingMad has stuck a goblin dagger into my stomach, perfectly positioned to pierce the kidney. Already I feel the world turn cold. "Sounds good, geezer. But want to know what'd make the story better? That if the Overseer, the oldest member of the Fraternity, gave his life to allow Her Highness to escape from a goblin ambush unscathed." Behind him, the warriors begin dragging fresh goblin corpses into the clearing. With my last strength, I bring my head up to look my assassin in the eye. There is no hint of satisfaction. Only disgust. "I meant what I said earlier. Had it been up to yours truly you'd have been dragged back to the Rare Ships, encased in magma, and put in the Fraternity's headquarters with a big gem-encrusted sign that reads 'HERE'S HOW NOT TO DO IT, DUMBASSES!' But it seems there's one idiot in the Central Committee who believes your bullshit and decided to let you swindle a decent spot in history." My vision is now fading. Almost gently, StarkRavingMad lowers me to the ground. "In the end, I can't be hosed to give a poo poo. The important point is you're dead, and with you goes the generation of overseers that seemed to be trying to be bigger gently caress-ups then the last." As he lays me down, he puts a blood-stained battleaxe in my right hand. I lack the strength to either grasp it or push it away. "Right, that's taken care of! Add some more damage to old foggy here, then let's rescue that royal bitch!" are the final words I hear before the void takes me.  1st Malachite "Jarl Phoebes?" I hear a voice say. It is my assistant. "Hm, what?" I say, startled. I pull myself and find myself at my old desk. "Ehrm, I guess I nodded off." I take stock of the tablets in front of me. The top one is an invitation to serve as Overseer of Bronzestabbed. On parchment it sounds like a good end-cap to my illustrious career as Overseer. My instincts tell me there's something fishy about it, though. I can't put my finger on it, but I've never been one to ignore my instinct. "I think I'll pass on this." I tell my assistant as I hand the offer back. "Tell the Fraternity I broke my hip or something." Post-Mortem: As much as I wanted to keep doing this, Real Life has happened to me. At first I thought I could juggle that and regularly posting updates. Yesterday's frustration proved to be too much, and I don't want to bog this thread with infrequent updates just after the previous overseer had issues of his own. Because I didn't get very far in my turn, I decided that a reset would be more appropriate than making Jarl Phoebos, senile Overseer a canon run, as much as I'd like it to be. I want to say that it was really fun both learning to play Dwarf Fortress and making updates for this thread. At the very least, it has given me the encouragement to start my own fortress from scratch. Best of luck to whoever wins the next roll of the dice. SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 07:20 on Jan 15, 2013 |
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Jan 15, 2013 04:07
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Well, drat. Is it too early to start barracking for Bad Munki?
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Jan 15, 2013 09:50
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This is obviously Bad Munki's doing. Bad Munki will break space and time itself just to get another chance at overseership.
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Jan 15, 2013 10:33
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Hey, you guys have no idea how many brake lines I had to cut until I found the right car to end this turn. 
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Jan 15, 2013 15:52
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Okay, uh... Yeah. Phoebos did send me a PM, but I got it long after his update was already up. I would have advised him not to roll things back, because we had an immigration wave and there were dwarves named and we had journal entries and etc., but I think it's perhaps too late to change things now. So. I'll have to roll back the dwarfing list, which should be possible, there's some dwarf art and journal updates that are now disconnected from a canon storyline, and it'll probably be a little confusing for the thread as the next overseer takes over. So let me juggle things and I'll put up a call for overseers later this afternoon (I need to do some work stuff right now and so it'll have to wait till after).
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Jan 15, 2013 21:03
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Sorry about that Leperflesh.
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Jan 15, 2013 21:38
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Maybe send the save anyway, the overseer picks up where SirP left off, with the events of that season remaining in semi mystery, but with the new migrants there.
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Jan 15, 2013 21:41
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