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Promontory
Apr 6, 2011

LeJackal posted:


I pore over the lists of our population, attempting to find some brave souls that could bring the Barbs back to full strength. I assign Debonaire Dwarf, Bettik, Steelion, Araganzar, Toiwat, and Promontory to new positions in the Golden Barbs. All new recruits are to be assigned battle axes, pursuant to Fortress Directive 26.


Guess the draft was only a matter of time, but maybe the training sessions will beat hauling rocks up to the god tower. I'm curious to see how long they last!

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Leif.
Mar 27, 2005

Son of the Defender
Formerly Diplomaticus/SWATJester
Ahahah there is a duck on the dining room table. UNSANITARY! HEED! HEED!

LeJackal
Apr 5, 2011


28th Opal

I call into my office the child dwarf Pickled Tink for a short illustrative conversation. In preparation for the meeting, I ready first a large, heavy hammer from the armory. Able to crush skulls and shatter stone easily, the silver warhammer is laid under a cloth. Next, two small figurines of dwarves, both made of dark blue halite. Finally I ready the pitcher and bowl that make up the second part of my visual aid system. Visual aides are important to effective presentation.

When Pickled Tink arrives, I usher him inside and offer a cobalite slab to boost him in the seat so he can see the top of my desk. In accordance with regulations I firmly shut the door and adjust lighting to maximum severity levels, in order to impart gravitas to the discussion.

"Pickled Tink. Let me begin by saying that you are a very, very brave little child. As well as articulate. Most children would not have the courage, or the ability to write a letter like that and place it on my door. I know that some dwarves might suspect the letter was written in truth by your father, Spikey or perhaps your mother PoptartsNinja. From that, they may propose that for such cowardice as couching poison in the words of a child that such a dwarf should be punished."

With the tip of a finger I advance two papers toward the child, allowing him to read the rather bold headlines of the Execution Orders. Nearly as large are the names of Spikey and PoptartsNinja.

"Such an Overseer might go so far as draw up orders much like these, and reassign their children to a more conservative couple. I, thankfully, am not such a dwarf."

Deftly, my fingers fold the orders into a tight cone and set them in my desktop brazier, letting the flames eradicate the incomplete, unauthorized forms. I hadn't even drafted official forms for such an occasion, and I hope never to have the need. Deception and hyperbole are sometimes required in this situation, however, as children must have their attention captured like a rogue animal.

"I would rather believe that you, Pickled Tink, are a very clever and very brave young dwarf. I would rather believe that you are simply misinformed about my intentions. Let me first disabuse you of some misconceptions. First I do not hate the elves, strange as they are. I do not advocate an open war with them, either. Thirdly, I am not evil, nor am I a Bad Overseer. Fourth, I shall not be lectured at so sharply by a child. Finally, I love the Rare Ship and will do anything required to ensure it survives."

I pause here, allowing the child to draw in a breath and let my missive sink in.

"Let me begin by asking you, Pickled Tink, what makes a dwarf? Is it our height? The beautiful beards that we grow? Our physiological dependence on alcohol? I say it is no simple physical thing - if an elf grew a beard tomorrow that would not make him a dwarf. Perhaps the songs we sing? The willingness to die for our friends? Our love of the mines and metals? No, It is not a thing of the heart or mind alone - any goblin can sing our songs or love metal. Being a dwarf, and particularly a dwarf of the Rare Ship is both things. Being dwarf in body, mind and heart is what makes a dwarf a dwarf."

"So what happens if a dwarf stops loving the mountains? If he no longer sings the songs of the Rare Ship, if he abstains from alcohol and shaves his beard? Is he a dwarf any more? Can we still call such a man our brother? No. He is not a dwarf any more, he is something else, something lost. What he has lost is his 'culture', the mind/heart of being a dwarf. Elves have a culture, a mind/heart of being an elf, and humans have one of their sort as well. The threat is that one 'culture' can spread, and grow. Much like a weed, the foreign culture can choke another out completely. It is a slow and subtle threat. I will illustrate."

I offer both figurines to the child, so they can be examined. I am a cunning crafter, and carved both to be nearly identical representations of an ideal male dwarf, pick in hand. After he has examined both, I set one in the bowl and tilt the pitcher, allowing a slow flow of water to pass over it.

"Let us pretend that the figurine is the Rare Ship, and the water a foreign culture. Our traditions and dwarves are strong and heavy as stone. A few songs and heroes are like nothing, they splatter right off of us. So we will be fine."

I smile.

"You speak of the threat to the north, of goblins and of zombies. Well, in comparison, they are more like this hammer here. Isn't it dangerous looking? A massive blunt instrument, representing a horde of goblin invaders. Or a bevy of deadly zombies emerging from a cloud. The danger here is obvious, looming above up, drawing forth their strength to crush us to powder..."

As I speak, I draw the hammer ever higher above my head, its dull silver face sparkling in the light. I let it hang there for a moment, drawing out the tension before I bring it down upon the second figurine. The halite is a brittle stone, and beneath my singular blow it turns to small bits of grit. I let the hammer turn on its side with an ominous thud like a falling coffin lid.

"This is the dire threat that you speak of. This threat which I am addressing. I am bolstering the ranks of our military. I have discovered the weakness of zombies to axes and am equipping our soldiers appropriately. I have constructed and am improving an emergency redoubt should the worst happen. I am approaching this dire danger with a cold calculation and the safety of our civilization in mind."

I then turn my attention away from Pickled Tink to look at the first figurine, which I had placed under the flowing water. Halite is nothing more than salt, and in the time it took for me to lecture it had already dissolved badly. The features of the face and beard were gone, the arm with its pick fallen off and the other merely a stub. A good visual metaphor.

"This is the other threat, that of foreign culture. It is very slow, very hard to see in the space of one dwarf's lifetime. That is what makes it so dangerous, Pickled Tink, because it sneaks up on you. Such is the reason that we must memorialize all our dead, honor them with song and statue, keep close to us our history and resist the allure of humans and elves. They can be friendly, they can be our allies, but they can and never will be dwarves. So every now and then an Overseer must take steps to make sure we keep them at a friendly arm's length. It need not be with bloodshed, but it must be done. Or, like a creeping vine not cut back, their culture will grow and entangle the Rare Ship."

Gently, I nudge the melting figurine of the dwarf. It collapses into sludge, and I sigh.

"I do not wish to see the end of The Rare Ship, Pickled Tink. By the evil claws of zombies or the flails or goblins or for any reason. I also do not wish to let the seeds of its eventual destruction take root in children like you. This is the burden of every Overseer. Perhaps, one day, you might know it. You are a brave and clever child, after all. The kind that can grow up to be a great force for the success of the Rare Ship."

I rest my hands on the desk, not far from the haft of the warhammer.

"Remember always what I have explained to you this day. About what it is to be a dwarf. About subtle threats that sneak over time and those that strike fast as a hammer. It would also be good to remember this; respect your elders. If you disagree, do so with respect and sympathy for their burdens. You accomplish little by antagonizing those in positions of strength."

I pause, and then gesture.

"You may leave now, Pickled Tink."

LeJackal fucked around with this message at 00:26 on Dec 4, 2012

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

EDIT: Original post judged and found retarded.

I think that's the second today! :downs:

SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Dec 3, 2012

TildeATH
Oct 21, 2010

by Lowtax


The Journal of TildeATH, Former Toddlerseer
Opalish

What a sad sight it is to see when an overseer turns weak.

Granted, we all know that the intellectual and spiritual strength of Bronzestabbed is held by its children (even it's very old and simply lazy "children" that Dwarven Attachment Parenting produces). But to see such a stern, outwardly strong overseer crumble and deign to blubbering and pantomiming to a child who, by all rights, should be THROWN DOWN A WELL WITH HIS WHOLE VILE FAMILY AS ANY STRONG OVERSEER WOULD DO, is a shame to our entire fortress, and the first sign that the Eagle of Doom now circles us and the End Days Approach.

A shame, really, when this fortress could have been something to behold. Something filled with houses with gem windows and a muddy shrine to a dying god. Now, it's just a clutter of excuses with a minecart running through it, filled with sad metaphors and stumbling dwarves who know not how to deal with VILE TRAITORS WHO SHOULD HAVE JOB TITLES BEFITTING THEIR VILE TREACHERY.

My own writing here, which I shall now place on the door to the overseer's waking tomb (or office, or whatever "metaphor" he prefers to use for the place where he ritually capitulates) shall likely result in THE COWARD TREATING ME IN A MANNER THAT BY ALL RIGHTS SHOULD BE DELIVERED ON THAT VILE LITTLE COWARD AND HIS WHOLE VILE FAMILY but I care not. For once upon a time, this fortress knew its enemies and its loyalties, and dwarves were treated to dwarven justice, and not the Elfcraft of metaphor and "explanation".

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

Dwarves, being immune to the sorts of flights of fancy typical of elves and humans, count with their calendar twelve completely equal and regular months of 28 days each. There is no 29th of opal nor any other month.

Anyway, it's interesting to see children taking a more active interest in politics than the adults, wouldn't you say?

Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.


Leperflesh posted:

Anyway, it's interesting to see children taking a more active interest in politics than the adults, wouldn't you say?

Rock the vote. :downs:

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!


It's Glenn Beck! :v:

Toiwat
Sep 6, 2011

LeJackal posted:

I assign Debonaire Dwarf, Bettik, Steelion, Araganzar, Toiwat, and Promontory to new positions in the Golden Barbs.

Yes! Finally! Now to see just how long I can last!

Onward! To glory! :black101:

Pickled Tink
Apr 28, 2012

Have you heard about First Dog? It's a very good comic I just love.

Also, wear your bike helmets kids. I copped several blows to the head but my helmet left me totally unscathed.



Finally you should check out First Dog as it's a good comic I like it very much.
Fun Shoe


28th Opal, an two hours after departing the Overseers office.

Pickled Tink walked down the corridor to the overseers office once again. More confidence in his step this time. Yet another message in his young yet calloused hands.

To LeJackal, Overseer of Bronzestabbed.

I thank you for our earlier meeting. I now have your measure as a Dwarf instead of as a distant and seemingly inept authority figure. I have taken from our meeting many lessons, but I doubt they are the ones you intended to convey.

Firstly, I have learned that you are bad at research. You obviously looked up my parents names but Spikey is my mother and my father, PoptartsNinja, was claimed by Ugath on the 15th of Malachite in the Year 241 after suffering a fall during the construction of the screw. So I have learned that you are, as I originally believed, lazy.

Secondly, I have learned that you are indeed a coward. Aside from threatening my parents, you also appear to believe that our culture is inferior to that of the Elves. You are under the impression that we Dwarves would be so seduced by the Elven way that we would stop being Dwarves. I disagree. I do not fear this and any who do are not worthy to be Overseer anywhere.

Thirdly, I have learned that you do not truly know what it is to be a Dwarf. To be a Dwarf is more than our ale, our songs, our love of stone. These things all do play a part, but all you need to do is to look around you to see what being a Dwarf truly is. To be a Dwarf is to dream of works of greatness, and to then work to create them. We have several here. Our Dining room is the stuff of Legends and that is but the least of our grand works. Yeol ordered built a tower to strike at the gods. Thadius, though not a Dwarf, led us and created a Portal to another world. We have the Screw. And I am certain there will be more grand works in the future. Many of us have created artifacts of such astounding craftsdwarfship that they move more than our hearts, but touch our souls. What good is our talent with stone if we don't USE it?

You have no spark of creativity in you. You merely follow rules, push papers, and threaten. You are too afraid to do anything not justified by old documents from an era where the Rare Ship was falling into sloth and greed, allowing Goblins to force us out. You are an empty Dwarf. A Not-Dwarf.

Finally, we can learn many things from our neighbours without altering our culture. For instance I learned from a Human merchant of a peculiar herb that grows underground that when consumed causes illness and even death. I, of course, being an honourable Dwarf, would never let myself stoop to grinding some up and adding it to your special reserve. That would be crass, and I am, as you may have noted, not that kind of Dwarf.

Also, my apologies for the method of delivery, but we don't have a postal service.

-Pickled Tink


Once again Pickled Tink placed a note against the Overseers door and nailed it in place, giving it a few extra whacks for good measure, grinning at the fresh cracks in the stonework, before sauntering off to harvest some Plump Helmets.


----

If you think this is going too far LeJackal, I'm perfectly willing to back off if you want to. I need to point out that OOC I have no problems with how you are leading this fortress into the arms of evil.

LeJackal
Apr 5, 2011

Pickled Tink posted:

If you think this is going too far LeJackal, I'm perfectly willing to back off if you want to. I need to point out that OOC I have no problems with how you are leading this fortress into the arms of evil.

Its in the nature of children to be reckless and smug. Even obnoxious when they believe, falsely, that they know better than everyone else. Obviously the result of a broken home and being raised by a single mother who has allowed the child to be a tyrant, to escalate without repercussion.

LeJackal fucked around with this message at 13:40 on Dec 4, 2012

OhCrap
Oct 14, 2011

I MAKE VICTORY!
Dammit. LeJackal is obviously a Water Necromancer.

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.


27th Opal 243

Months ago I had a journal entry written that I was pleased with until Medtob had an accident right on the pages and that put me off writing any more for some time. It's a shame, because being manager has never been more easy or more difficult than it is under the current Overseer! He fancies himself a manager too and writes endless work orders that I only have to sign occasionally, which is the easy part. But he encrusts them with a child's weight in wax, and when the first one was delivered to my furnace (because they can't wait on the desk until I've finished smelting things, Osram knows) it was a weird melting block that gooshed unpleasantly when I handled it. I managed to get the wax off but I had to recopy the document, and writing that way hurts my soul. What is a DADD and why should I care?

(I have not asked the Overseer. I fear he would answer.)

Personally I always found 'We need coffins, build ten' to be efficient but I allow I was not born to bureaucracy. He is welcome to draft all the work orders he wants. I am saving the wax when it melts to give to the wax workers, and I am considering asking them to sculpt me a big wax Kovest so that if it melts again we can all cheer at its visible agonies. Then again there's already a faction in the fort--meaning two dwarves, I think--that believes I am some sort of turkey sympathizer scheming to bring in a dark reign of wattles, and an icon of the death turkey would not help. Admittedly I can see sometimes why Medtob might make them worry.

I thought for a time we were going to end up with an underground muck village full of elves, but the anti-elf propaganda has dried up somewhat in the face of murked dwarves trying to kill us all. That's just as well. They'd turn Ugathville into a forest and throw fits if we cut down the tree breaking through the floor of Leperfish's office. Better they keep trading us prickle berries for wine and being wood-obsessed weirdos in their own homes.

But the most important news is that I have finally taken a further step on the alcohol-scented-soap front. I took more strained squeezings of plump helmets, sifted in dwarf sugar, left the liquid to ferment only a little while, then put a tiny amount in with the lard and engraved a fine steel ingot on the bar that resulted. After I bathed with it I received many comments that I smelled like rotting mushrooms, and also bees chased me through the fort. The formula needs further refining, and I will test it on livestock in the future, but no one has vomited yet! That's progress!

LeJackal
Apr 5, 2011

OhCrap posted:

Dammit. LeJackal is obviously a WaterMagma Necromancer.

Stop looking into the future.

OhCrap
Oct 14, 2011

I MAKE VICTORY!

LeJackal posted:

Stop looking into the future.

Not sure if raising magma is better or worse than raising water.

Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.


Depends, is the magma under water?

Knockknees
Dec 21, 2004

sprung out fully formed

Kaishai posted:

Then again there's already a faction in the fort--meaning two dwarves, I think--that believes I am some sort of turkey sympathizer scheming to bring in a dark reign of wattles, and an icon of the death turkey would not help. Admittedly I can see sometimes why Medtob might make them worry.

If I ever complete my migration to the fortress, and you still have that evil acolyte of Kovest trailing at your heels, I swear I will hunt him down and enjoy some +roast turkey biscuits+.

LeJackal
Apr 5, 2011


1st Obsidian

The military needs to be reorganized, again. SadBilly and Macha have both volunteered for the Bronze Delights, and in Macha's case that leaves a hole in the Rainy Boots. Welcome to the Rainy Boots, M, and please be sure to use a battle axe.

I also call Internet Kraken into my office. Due to concerns from the FCC (Fortress Cultural Committee) about his recent efforts to sow dissension and chaos in the fortress, action must be taken. He is being transferred to the Bronze Delights and his rank reduced, in the hopes that exposure to Krushdhead and other loyal, levelheaded dwarves will level him out. Mr. Vile will be assuming command of the One-Way Outs from now on. Tag Plastic will fill the slot left over from Internet Kraken's transfer.

2nd Obsidian
In contravention of mining safety orders, unsafe channeling and digging claims the life of White-Devil in a horrific accident. thesid is knocked unconscious by the blast. I mandate a new rule, only the otherwise unskilled may mine, to avoid the loss of high highly trained dwarfsonnel.






It is somewhat gruesome.

3rd Obsidian
After reshuffling the labor pool and personally supervising the minding activity, a controlled collapse with no fatalities occurs. We are one step closer to a better defensive stronghold. Now to construct the new marksdwarf tower and barracks.



Ever a productive dwarf myself, I turn my hand to the magma glass furnace to produce windows for use by the Queen. I am forced to call on the training from youth - after all, my father was a glassmaker, as his father before him, and his father before him. The only problem is a lack of sand. I'll have to order it gathered continuously.

10th Obsidian

Harpies appear, wicked, evil creatures. Tiem, Bettik, Zanthril, and Leykin are all attacked by these wicked foes. Now is, I feel, as good a time as any to send some of our military out. Gnu Order will shoot them out of the sky, and the new Bronze Delights will eliminate them on the ground. They should make for some good practice, show the novices what it feels like to be splattered with the blood and gore of their enemies.





Krushdehead is first to the fight, savage and without mercy. Setting, once more, an excellent example for her squad and the militia as a whole.



A single blow to the head takes out the first harpy, slicing its head cleanly in half. Blood, brains, and bone splatter the ground as she cleaves the beast in twain. The second gets its leg chopped off in one neat stroke before setting into the sky. The third harpy is not so lucky, as Krushdhead uses her axe and shield to batter and cut it into pieces.




The third harpy is more elusive, darting into the sky and flitting too and fro. The Gnu Order take shots at it, and briefly the harpy falls, only to rise into the sky after catching its breath. It must die, preferably by the hands of the Bronze Delights more junior members.



Internet Kraken is at least following Krushdhead's lead, and when he arrives immediately aims for the harpy's skull. He ends her life with a single blow.



If he can also absorb some manners and humility from Krushdhead to go with his axe techniques there may be hope yet.

13th Obsidian

Murk has drifted nearby again, this time on the South side of the river. I do not know how or why it is encroaching, but I do not trust it to remain small and out of the way. Not this time.



15th Obsidian

The murk has vanished, thankfully. I hope it never returns.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004
What happened to the goblin captives from a while ago? They didnt get murked, and they have probably starved to death in the cages by now right?

LeJackal
Apr 5, 2011

Spermy Smurf posted:

What happened to the goblin captives from a while ago? They didnt get murked, and they have probably starved to death in the cages by now right?

Actually no, neither case has come to pass. Lucky enough for them, right?

targus6544
Feb 7, 2010

Calvin go do something you hate. Being miserable builds character.
"Krushdehead is first to the fight, savage and without mercy. Setting, once more, an excellent example for her squad and the militia as a whole.


A single blow to the head takes out the first harpy, slicing its head cleanly in half. Blood, brains, and bone splatter the ground as she cleaves the beast in twain. The second gets its leg chopped off in one neat stroke before setting into the sky. The third harpy is not so lucky, as Krushdhead uses her axe and shield to batter and cut it into pieces."

Well I give her this, she certainly lived up to the name I gave her.

Internet Kraken
Apr 24, 2010

slightly amused

Spermy Smurf posted:

What happened to the goblin captives from a while ago? They didnt get murked, and they have probably starved to death in the cages by now right?

Creatures that aren't part of the fort never starve to death. However, goblins don't need to eat or drink anyways, otherwise they'd starve during world gen due to their carnivorous nature.

White-Devil
Aug 15, 2009
God drat it.

This isn't a dwarfy death at all. This is like an elf falling out of a tree and landing on his head.

LeJackal
Apr 5, 2011


16th Obsidian

With the murk gone, I can turn my attention back to the matters at hand. The Typhus Memorial Depot is not quite finished. I need to add statues to it to complete the effect. I personally sort through the many statues that have already been crafted, selecting for those that showcase our history and populace. I want for all traders and diplomats to pass through a gallery of accomplishments and culture to impress on them precisely with whom they are dealing.



22nd Obsidian

The creation of more ballista arrows is ordered by the Queen. I file the appropriate work orders myself, to ensure that everything is carried out to the letter.

23nd Obsidian

The statues have been delivered and installed. With old business handled, I turn to the next item in my agenda. After careful consideration, I judge that Crackmaster has submitted the most poignant elf awareness work, and send a note to be placed so that Crackmaster will speak to me about what he would like for a prize. I can be a reasonable dwarf.



23nd Obsidian

As Kerrhyphen is working on the Sterilizer, a Fire Imp rises from the magma and attacks! Fortunately all militia wear armor constantly, so though the wound bleends, Kerrhyphen escapes relatively unscathed. I call for a work stoppage until the foul imp vanishes back further into the magma.



28th Obsidian

As the year draws to a close, Death comes for the eldest of our fortress. This is the third or fourth we have lost to time itself.

Flavius Aetass
Mar 30, 2011
Time is in league with the elves! :mad:

LeJackal
Apr 5, 2011

Flavius Belisarius posted:

Time is in league with the elves! :mad:

I will immediately order all dwarves to Kill Time. This menace must be stopped.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

LeJackal posted:

I will immediately order all dwarves to Kill Time. This menace must be stopped.


In accordance with overseer LeJackal's command, will spend remainder of year On Break.

Crackmaster
Feb 6, 2004


At last! The suspense was killing me.

The overseer had announced the possibility of tangible rewards for whosoever produced the finest work of Elf Truth educational material. I received notice that my entry into the competition had been selected, and was asked to decide upon my own compensation.

I briefly toyed with the idea of having several nobles sacrificed by fire, with their remains stored in small containers, that I might mention the "Urnal Gentry" in a future Journal Entry, but the daydream was fleeting and unrealistic, and in any event I worried I may have made such a remark in the past, thus significantly reducing the humor of my wordplay.

I also contemplated asking LeJackal to prohibit any dwarf but Bad Munki from entering consideration as replacement overseer when the time comes for him to step down (Munki is a fine fellow, and would rule with aplomb), but such things are of course decided by much higher powers than any mere dwarf. Attempting to influence the results of such a process is only asking for trouble, as all of us know from the grand tales of our youth.

My final decision was to give the overseer a choice, two options from which to choose as he sees fit, depending on how ambitious he feels at the moment. The note I sent in response to his request provided first a more reasonable suggestion:

A) The number of elfducation submissions being as disgracefully low as it was, it is perhaps wise to provide the population of our fortress with a constant reminder of what standard they should strive to achieve. Give them a target, so to speak, that they might aim high and better themselves. I believe morale would be much improved, therefore, if you were to move my bed into a frequently used passageway, that the others might gaze upon mine form as I sleep and know that this, then, is a dwarf to be emulated.

It then offered a somewhat more involved option:

B) Many are the stories of individual dwarves offering to house locally produced works of art, like those entered into our propagandelf contest, in their own homes, but underestimating the strain such generosity will place on their resources, ultimately folding under the demand and discarding the creations. It brings a tear to one's eye to imagine what brilliant masterpieces our culture has lost over the centuries. To that end, I propose we construct a master Archive, somewhere deep underground, to preserve our most valuable material. The Typhus Memorial Depot is a wonderful demonstration of our illustrious brand to any who enter our halls, but anything placed so near the world outside is potentially subject to its whims (and, for that matter, those of disgruntled dwarves). I feel that whatever of any worth remains after the construction of said Depot should be moved to a distant, heavily fortified vault, that it might outlast the violence above, in whatever form it will inevitably come.

Lastly, I felt justified insisting upon one mandatory requirement for either option, that in future discussion of my person it is properly recognized that I am a delicate lady, no matter how ruggedly handsome I may be.

I do hope LeJackal finds one of my ideas palatable, but it was an honor just to have been chosen. A real dwarf needn't be rewarded for such an effort anyway; raising our children to have Correct Thought is our culture's duty, and I am proud to be a part of that.

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

Crackmaster posted:

I also contemplated asking LeJackal to prohibit any dwarf but Bad Munki from entering consideration as replacement overseer when the time comes for him to step down (Munki is a fine fellow, and would rule with aplomb), but such things are of course decided by much higher powers than any mere dwarf.

Plus there's that whole thing where he was immolated and reduced to a pile of ash several years ago.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Leperflesh posted:

Plus there's that whole thing where he was immolated and reduced to a pile of ash several years ago.

Some days an inanimate pile of ash looks like a good choice.

Crackmaster
Feb 6, 2004
I never said my dwarf pays attention. She's been too focused on goofy poster slogans to be bothered with facts like one guy or another already being dead.

You and your details.

Bettik
Jan 28, 2008

Space-age Rock Star
Whoo! Finally caught up. And my guy is in the military! It's going to be quite the dwarfy death at this rate.

Muscle Tracer
Feb 23, 2007

Medals only weigh one down.

Angela Christine posted:

Some days an inanimate pile of ash looks like a good choice.

With enough Murk, even a pile of ash doesn't need to be inanimate :unsmigghh:

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Any reason why the fortress has hardly seen any Forgotten Beasts? I remember Gemclod was practically overrun with them.

Vaga42Bond
Apr 10, 2009

Die Essensrationen wurden verdoppelt!
Die Anzahl der Torpedos wurde verdoppelt!

SirPhoebos posted:

Any reason why the fortress has hardly seen any Forgotten Beasts? I remember Gemclod was practically overrun with them.

They've been replaced with incestuous inbreed minotaurs, apparently. That, and the fact that at least one of these forgotten beast was made of SNOW probably didn't help their murder rates.

Shiv Katall
Feb 11, 2008
Rape knows no boundaries
That was a cute forgotten beast and should have been made a pet. Too bad it killed itself

LeJackal
Apr 5, 2011


1st Granite

First item of the year, the Crackmaster Archive. I think under the forges is a suitable place. I draw out a simple design that I may modify after preliminary mining.



With tehkeen dead of old age, a spot in the Rainy Boots has come up vacant. It must be filled immediately, as the militia os the highest priority for future fortress safety. I search through the rolls of the fort for a suitable replacement. Welcome to the Rainy Boots, Schir. I'm sure that you will do well. Please pick up your battleaxe and report to Mortal Sword with all speed.

Not a moment too soon. A kobold thief, bold as anything, walzted right through the Old Courtyard and into the barracks of the Rainy Boots. I send the aforementioned squad and the nearby Bronze Delights to deal with the errant kobold.




The battle is over quickly. Krushdhead, Ton Ton, Fatfingers and Zebrin spring to the kobold. Krushdhead disarms the thief, quite literally, allowing her students to move in under an auspice of safety. Fatfingers demonstrates her bravery, charging the thief several times and punching the monster's arm bone right from its body! Bloodlust unsated, Fatfingers shatters its leg with her axe, savoring the slaughter. Ton Ton completes the kobold's disarming with a single blow of his sword, cutting where the bone had been shattered. Following closely behind, Zebrin matches Fatfingers by shattering the kobol'd other leg before chopping both off. With all its limbs removed, the kobold bleeds out in seconds. Well done.



6th Granite

A simple mining job becomes complicated by the presence of fire imps, again. This is rapidly becoming annoying if a simple mining mandate cannot be accomplished. I fear John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt may have tumbled into the lava tube in complete disregard for the safe mining guidelines. If he has, in fact, tumbled to his death thanks to this violation I will be forced to censure his family in some way.



In addition, Juc has gone missing for at least a week. Unauthorized vacation? Not in my fortress!
Benagain has gone missing for at least a week as well. Troubling.




8th Granite

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt is alive and well, mining out the site of the Crackmaster Archive constructed below the forges, deep within the Emergency Capsule. By placing it there I can ensure that if it comes to the worst our culture will survive along with whomever runs to safety. While this pleases me, the notion only riles the Queen. She places orders for more ballista arrows, and I place my own for more clothing to cover our tattered dwarves. Hygiene Coda and all.




11th Granite
No one has seen Viper in the last week. This calls for an investigation.



19th Granite

Murk has drifted nearby. It is too close to the fort, on our side of the river. I do not know why it has begun to appear on this side, but I am increasingly glad that the Emergency Capsule is completed.



24th Granite
Kelli has gone missing as well. If I did not have a certain project occupying my mind I would search for these missing dwarves with greater alacrity. I do not know where they could be vanishing too, as I have not sealed off anything of note lately.



I am begging to suspect elf or goblin influence in these sudden disappearances. If there is a collaborator within the walls of this fortress I will find them.

LeJackal fucked around with this message at 19:06 on Dec 11, 2012

LeJackal
Apr 5, 2011
Doing this on my laptop at work is a chore. The screenshots are borked and I think the save might be corrupted. I may just replay through the month again tonight and see about getting screenshots in.

LPs are hard.

Rurik
Mar 5, 2010

Thief
Warrior
Gladiator
Grand Prince

LeJackal posted:

I think the save might be corrupted

If this is how Bronzestabbed eventually ends, it will be fitting. Not because of goblins or necromancer's undead hordes. Not because of magma and failed megaprojects.

Just because the save got murked.

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Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

LeJackal and I are working on whether it's necessary to hand off or not. I think we can expect slowness during the holiday season, but at the same time neither of us wants the thread to stagnate so we'll make a decision soon.

Coincidently, in case anyone misses it: Granite is the first month of the year, It's now 244. (LeJackal's turn started midyear.)

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