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LeJackal posted:I am forming some ideas about how to handle my turn, but being the populist I would like to ask- what can I do to help make my year fun for this thread? Magma. Lots of it.
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Nov 11, 2012 18:15
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Start a war with the Elves!
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Nov 11, 2012 18:30
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'Frequent updates' is cliche, but that's probably the biggest thing. More bizarre mega-projects would be fun. Maybe you could create Bronzestabbed's own Malachite Army out of statues of its famous warriors? Put 'em on display at the edges of the map and confuse the minotaurs.
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Nov 11, 2012 18:41
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Your guilty conscience is making you take this personally, now we know you stuffed the ballot!
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Nov 11, 2012 18:41
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Deliberately kill people's dwarves in a malicious and elaborate way. Write the whole year as a psychopath. Starve all children to death for the hell of it. I want to see something different.
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Nov 11, 2012 18:49
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Add to the weirdness. Make mega projects. Leave "fun" surprises for the next overseer. One thing is to run with a consistent plot. Don't force the game into a story, but have an idea of an underlying theme behind your overseer theme. Wheter it's an Obsession with Ballistas , Parasol Corp, or Ritualistic Sacrifices (Please don't do those, they've already been done in a previous fort, unless you have a really good ritualistic sacrifice idea.) Maybe tunnel under the Murk area, and turn it into a tourist site with statue gardens, dining hall, and meeting rooms, calling it "Under the Murk Tours".
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Nov 11, 2012 19:05
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LeJackal posted:I appreciate all the jokes, but please don't put together a lynch mob just because the fickle RNG selected me to be Overseer. I've been throwing my hat in every time, and I didn't sign up just to spite you guys or him. This will be my first ever Let's Play! and my first Succession Fort, so I already have a lot of pressure going on as it is. While I can't promise you that I will be as good or entertaining as Bad Munki, I can promise to do my damnedest to Oversee in the traditions of this thread. Don't worry, it's all in good fun. Best of luck to you  EDIT:As for ideas...try to get Queen Sankis to throw a tantrum. Though it seems fifty-fifty whether Sankis goes on a murderous rampage (like in Boatmurdered or Talllabored) or just sulks until he/she starves to death (Headshoots and Syrupleaf). EDIT2: Ooh, an even better idea: Murk the queen! 
SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 19:11 on Nov 11, 2012 |
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Nov 11, 2012 19:06
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Kaishai posted:'Frequent updates' is cliche, but that's probably the biggest thing. This. Do whatever you want, so long as you update frequently. No matter what you are doing the thread will be boring as hell if you don't update on a regular basis. Pozzo posted:Deliberately kill people's dwarves in a malicious and elaborate way. Write the whole year as a psychopath. Starve all children to death for the hell of it. Don't do this though.
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Nov 11, 2012 19:12
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LeJackal posted:This will be my first ever Let's Play! and my first Succession Fort, so I already have a lot of pressure going on as it is. Oh yeah, the RNG has a real hard-on for people who've never done this and especially those that barely post in the Bronzestabbed thread. Shoulda picked TildeATH II--there's a reason why people like sequels. I suppose Munki or Pozzo would be a reboot. LeJackal posted:I am forming some ideas about how to handle my turn, but being the populist I would like to ask- what can I do to help make my year fun for this thread? Make Bad Munki the overseer, you vote-rigging jerk.
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Nov 11, 2012 19:23
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LeJackal posted:I am forming some ideas about how to handle my turn, but being the populist I would like to ask- what can I do to help make my year fun for this thread?
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Nov 11, 2012 23:56
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for what it's worth I totally tried to game the system and sign up multiple bad munkies (1) 
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Nov 12, 2012 00:04
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And you almost cost me the election by doing so! Erm, wait...
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Nov 12, 2012 00:49
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Hey, nothing major but I think someone signed me up for overseership without my consent. I don't remember visiting the form at all. 
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Nov 12, 2012 01:00
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Pickled Tink posted:Turf Bad Munki out of his coffin and forbid his corpse. That should get him to rise as a ghost for haunting, and give him something to talk about That would certainly help with Journal Entries.
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Nov 12, 2012 01:00
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Triskelli posted:Hey, nothing major but I think someone signed me up for overseership without my consent. I don't remember visiting the form at all. Fraud! I demand a redraw! This is unforgivable!
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Nov 12, 2012 02:34
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I recommend not killing everyone so Bad Munki can do that on his inevitable turn (this fortress isn't going to end unless someone instigates it.)
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Nov 12, 2012 03:01
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Mighty Dicktron posted:I recommend not killing everyone so Bad Munki can do that on his inevitable turn (this fortress isn't going to end unless someone instigates it.) ssshhh.... We have never forgotten the unjust restraints of the child overseer. Our day will come. For now I am just biding my time until it looks like this fort is finally going downhill.
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Nov 12, 2012 04:49
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LeJackal posted:I am forming some ideas about how to handle my turn, but being the populist I would like to ask- what can I do to help make my year fun for this thread? I am nearing (well sort of) dwarfing, so I'd advise killing off as much of the current population as possible. Actually that would be my advice in any case since things blowing up is DF at its best, but I reserve the right to hate you when my dwarf dies as soon as he or she shows up. e: oooookay. I replied to that post without reading what came after. You guys are some bloodthirsty bastards  ee: Holy crap I'm like two away from being dwarfed! It would probably be funniest to me personally if you irrevocably killed the fort before I managed to make it there on second thought. Grittybeard fucked around with this message at 07:31 on Nov 12, 2012 |
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Nov 12, 2012 07:26
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Triskelli posted:Hey, nothing major but I think someone signed me up for overseership without my consent. I don't remember visiting the form at all. That's pretty hosed up. And in theory it affected the outcome, since each of the remaining applicants would have had a larger chance at being rolled... but that includes LeJackal, so I'm going to leave it. However, perhaps I need to make this clear: Do not sign up other people. The overseer application form is only for volunteering yourself for service.
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Nov 12, 2012 07:32
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Adding to the to Murktourist idea Glass ceiling on any such project. Let all of dwarfendom see the murk for themselves.
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Nov 12, 2012 07:35
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That is... a good way to see if murk actually goes through constructions! Do it! Much better then the boring but safe "build a few line of walls around to see if it actually goes through" strategy.
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Nov 12, 2012 08:27
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I've suddenly got this image of one of those highway tourist traps. "COME SEE THE MYSTERIOUS MURK! ONLY 45 MILES!" It needs a road for all the
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Nov 12, 2012 10:11
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It's been about 3 years since the dwarven economy got its plug pulled.
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Nov 13, 2012 16:20
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 28th Galena 243 I stalked down to the Overseer's office, silently practicing my speech for the former Overseer. I had written several drafts all in accordance with the directives and style manuals but lacked confidence in the delivery. Fortunately written copies were in my satchel, along with the rest of the paperwork. The door to the office was almost closed, and I pushed it open slowly so as not to interrupt. The door, however, groaned. Note To Self; Maintenance needs auditing. The dwarf inside spoke to me then, hearing the door. "Jazzimus, there is no shame in your efforts which were equal to any..... but you are not Jazzimus." I mirrored his surprise. I was expecting Jazzimus, who this obviously was not, barring mental illness. My prepared speech slid from my mind like a purring maggot. I reached for my satchel, finding solace in the thick folder of parchment. "No. No I am not Jazzimus, but his replacement. LeJackal is my name, and I intend to see the Queen satisfied, satiated, and content. Witness and sign this Royal Order transferring Overseership to me please. Thank you." Presenting the gilt parchment to the dwarf at the desk made me feel better. The Queen's signature and seal awaited only the Overseer's acknowledgement to make my ascension official. When the dwarf hesitated, I continued. "Seeing as my predecessor has already left, your signature will do. Please sign, we have so little time and much to do if we are to get this...fortress up to code." I could feel the twitch in my face as the dwarf stroked his short sideburns, and finally signed and sealed the document. "I am Leperfish, LeJackal. I suppose you'll want a tour as you are a stranger and strangers must be shown to know. Tell me where you want to begin." Order must be maintained. "Let us start at the top and work our way down."  A bleak and foreboding tower. First we climbed a massive soaring tower, situated high above the fortress. It was unfinished and shoddily planned, with no apparent purpose. I made some notations with my ☼candlewood clipboard☼ and made sure to sketch what passed for the design. "Leperfish, can you tell me for what purpose this tower was built? Who authorized the expense of stone? Where are the planning documents and bidding history?" "This tower was built as part of a project to fight the gods." "Fight the gods? Divine warfare isn't in the mission statement. What kind of oversight, if any, existed during this construction?" As it turns out, previous Oveerseers had been children, madmen, or combinations thereof. Note to Self: Form Committee to Examine Overseer Selection Process for Revision.  The glorious entrance to Bronzestabbed! "This would be the main entrance, slash farming facility, slash wind farm, slash defensive bulwark, slash seed storage, slash apiary. Correct, Mr. Leperfish?" After the insanity of the tower, I was pleased to be back on the ground at least. Doubly so to see my guide shifting from foot to foot as I scribbled notes in the harshest quill strokes I could manage. "Yes?" "This is unacceptable. The functional density of this space far exceeds maximum allowed capacity. Further, the functions that are present are not up to code in isolation. Absent the overcrowding, this courtyard represents a failure on every level. The Queen will not be pleased. Not in the slightest."  Just within the entry. There is only one word to describe the fortress within the gates. Miserable. There are a host of other terms, most vile among them cluttered, disorganized, chaotic, asymmetrical, filthy, just the worst. No wonder the Queen is displeased, to be forced by cruel fate to call so Gordian a fort her home! How horrified diplomats and visitors must be! I am struck speechless. Leperfish is wisely silent as I fume and pore over the schematics for this level. Oh. Oh sweet gods.  The horror. Labels declare there are levers here, but there ARE NO LEVERS. Truly I walk in the footsteps of the mad.  The primary level of the fortress is acceptable. Mostly. There are irregularities present, such as workshops leading to the dining room, and strangely arranged tomb sections. The hospital and dormitories are fully within specifications, at the very least. It is a deep relief to see order embraced on at least one level of this fortress. In comparison to the upper levels it is a paragon of efficiency and tidiness.  Dear gods its full of chaos. False alarm. I am starting to believe that previous Overseers never even saw the documentation on fortress design. It is all there in the architecture codes and building guidelines. By the time we are back at the office, my head feels as if it is full of magma. I very much want a drink and a minor apocalypse to swallow this fortress whole. I had never imagined that the task would be this arduous, that the documentation would be so thin. I feel like the first Overseer, drafting SOPs as I go, formulating from the ether the beautiful rules and guidelines that would be a framework for the future. I pray to the gods that I will have the strength to wrest from this chaos order and success. "Leperfish, can you show me the current resources available?  Resources of the fortress. "Thank you. The military forces seem light, but otherwise production should be up to par. I am glad that we will have the dwarfpower needed for the extensive renovations I intend to propose. How soon can we arrange a meeting to schedule meetings to form planning committees with the Architect and Mining Guilds? In addition to the negotiations with the Peasant's Union and Mason's Confederacy, naturally. I would like to accelerate the timescale as much as possible. Perhaps have drawbridges approved, planned, and installed within the next five years." Leperfish shuffled his papers for a moment. "We have no such Guilds or organizations here." I had to put my quill down. "No Guilds?" "No." "Planning Committees?" "No." "Unions?" "No." "So you are saying I simply shake the nearest dwarf and tell him what to do...and it is done?" I could not stop my hands from quivering. "Basically, yes." Note to Self: Draft Work Orders, Abuse Power.
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Nov 13, 2012 17:28
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LeJackal posted:"So you are saying I simply shake the nearest dwarf and tell him what to do...and it is done?" I could not stop my hands from quivering. LeJackal, you are off to a good start and you have my support.
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Nov 13, 2012 17:46
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I sense good things coming already. Better get started on another year of bootlicking.
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Nov 13, 2012 17:50
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 You bastard!Let's get this show on the road!
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Nov 13, 2012 18:42
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Ok spewed my coffee. A revolt is in order
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Nov 13, 2012 18:46
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Qword's houses and the Temple of Ugath still look awesome. The rest of the place should be bulldozed and replaced by something a little more architecturally interesting.
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Nov 13, 2012 18:46
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Haha yes this is a great start, keep going
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Nov 13, 2012 19:02
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Clearly we need to put levers where there are labels for them. Levels to what doesn't matter. Looking like a promising start!
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Nov 13, 2012 19:40
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I'm glad you guys are liking it so far. I am already playing on for my next update so I can keep them coming reasonably quickly. This update coming up will star some of you lucky dorfs, so be ready to write a journal! Or an epitaph for your memorial slab. Magma is a pill, isn't it?
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Nov 13, 2012 20:35
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Are the images failing to load for anyone else using Chrome?
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Nov 13, 2012 21:08
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Wubbles posted:Are the images failing to load for anyone else using Chrome? Works fine for me.
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Nov 13, 2012 21:35
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I've been catching up with this LP for the last few days -- it's been a delight to read so far. Can't wait until LeJackal posted:Note to Self: Draft Work Orders, Abuse Power. Great start so far, I can only imagine the pressure which comes with overseeing such a chaotic mess and having to narrate at the same time.
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Nov 13, 2012 21:41
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scamtank posted:It's been about 3 years since the dwarven economy got its plug pulled. Oh. I guess that does sound familiar, now that I think about it. Like I said, I never get forts to survive long enough anyway.
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Nov 13, 2012 22:05
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 1st Limestone Beginning much as yesterday, on my first official day of Overseership I am once more starting at the very top. The 'god-killer' tower is a waste of resources too tiresome to quantify, too difficult to deconstruct safely, and is an affront to the traditions of fortress design. Therefore, it being obscene, the parts of it that make it obscene must be altered. The conclusion I am forced to draw is that it needs a new purpose. I plan to put the Queen there. Leperfish was not fond of the idea. I convinced him. "Leperfish. Guidelines stipulate that maximal efficiency be kept in mind whenever pursuing new construction. Seeing as this tower did not follow current guidelines on new construction, I am forced to find an efficient purpose for it. Sadly it is too high to be used for marksdwarfs. Aside from that usage, towers are not outlined in any design documents. Without guidance on this matter, I must look to other regulations. When we read Royal Protocol: Lodgings and Furnishings, it states quite clearly that royalty are to be elevated above all others. What gives greater elevation than this tower?" He was quite speechless. I have drafted Work Orders for the modifications, beginning with the removal of much of the upper levels. I labored long into the night, chairing and calling to order a Committee for Work Order Design. The discussions were heated but a unanimous decision was reached at last. They are exceptional Work Orders. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. They menace with rings of wax. On them is inscribed the symbol of the Rare Ships. I grab the first capable dwarf I can find and charge him with being foreman of the work crew. His name is Qword and he expresses his enthusiasm oddly. "You want me to be foreman? Jus' grab a mess o' fellas and do uh...what all this says?" "Correct. Note that your permits for Sun Exposure and Unconfined Space labor are attached by that ribbon! Remember that the glory of Bronzestabbed rests, in part, on your efforts. Carry out the instructions on the Work Order to the letter without delay, thank you." He strokes his red beard, staring up at the tower, then back to the Order. "Could be dangerous. Loose blocks and all up so high. Some dwarf could get hurt. Or killed." "Civilian deaths are acceptable losses in pursuit of compliance with safety and design regulations.Their sacrifice will be duly recorded and their family compensated through allotment to subsidized housing and interment of the deceased." That seemed to satisfy him.   This isn't Jenga. Qword began to work, taking with him a crew consisting of: Pierzak, Lazy Trebuchet, Ark, LotionMan, Lord Hattigan, Crack, Jihad Joe, Rothon, TildeATH and Banemaster. Also some others, but I left the reporting of the details to the foreman. I am on my way downstairs when the alarm is raised! It is a Goblin Snatcher attempting to breach the gates of our fortress!   Goblins. Why did it have to be goblins. Nekomata had been outside in the courtyard for one reason or another when this villainous fiend crept inside! No doubt she was enjoying the outdoor farms or tending to the windmills, unaware that gross deficiencies in architectural design left her vulnerable to the devious backstabbing of this monstrous aberration! Hopefully the wound to her foot is all the damage she'll take from the sniveling coward.  Humans. Tall and racist. Fortunately the Human Caravan at the Trade Depot are fast to act. A flurry of arrows and weapons deal him death quickly enough.  This space intentionally left blank. With that drama done with, I can safely move to the next level of the fortress. I decommission the old hospital and barracks. I am thinking it was the home fo the Way Outs. They will be provided a new, better home in time. Dwarves were never meant to wallow in such squalor as this. Also, getting rid of the hospital will allow the axle leading towards the tower to cleanly pass through. Such convoluted mechanisms are against regulation for a number of reasons I am not at liberty to divulge. Seeing no dwarf handy, I post the Work Order, charging it to the first dwarf to read it. I cleverly place it beside what appears to be a mug of ☼dwarven rum☼. It would please me greatly to completely raze the 'grand entrance' and all its assorted mishmash of rooms and facilities. However, I need to make sure that the properly organized levels can take up the slack of the shantytown above. I am barely down the stairs when a cheer goes up! JimmyTheD, Good Parent and NOT Water necromancer has begun a mysterious construction! This certainly bodes well for us!   Every artifact is another sign that the gods have blessed us and support our cause. I am almost cheerful as I make notes on this event. This fortress may be hideous, but it works in some ways. Materials for blessed moods were provided within the bounds of JimmyTheD's requirements, all to the specifications demanded by the divines. I make a list of the articles that have been procured and await utilization via inspired synergistic craftsdwarfship.   This could be interesting. Note to Self: Track Artifact Progress, Use as Morale Booster  After turning from JimmyTheD's craftdwarf workshop, I mark out some mining activities to free up more space for storage. Completely contrary to code, stockpiles are arranged all over the upper warren. They need to be centrally located to workshop areas. I add several more to the already existing space. I leave two Work Orders in the shop area, one with a Pick sigil and one a Bag. Hopefully a dwarf of the right profession will see, understand, and accept. I also mark the coffins for removal. Dwarf remains placed on primary traffic routes runs counter to hygienic guidelines.  I appreciate the layout and organized structure, but changes must be made to accommodate the removal of the upper floors. To the north, a mining expansion to provide for fertile farm plots to replace those lost above. A serious expansion of the kitchen area and food storage adjacent to the dining room. All the forges and assorted stockpiles removed. In their place a new central lever control center will be constructed. Finally, a series of apartment for minor officials and Overseers will be dug.   Last step of the first step of the renovation. The magma forges need to be expanded and redesign. The documentation is sparse, but according to accident reports poor planning has been responsible for several magma related deaths. Poor planning is outside acceptable published guidelines on magma based craftworks. Therefore all magma forges and smelters are to be removed and rebuilt in a safer configuration. 7th Limestone JimmyTheD has emerged from her workshop! All praise to him and glory to the gods for her inspiration! Close examination of the artifact shows that we have the support of a divine mandate, elsewise so martial an artifact could not have been made.   14th Limestone Hostile Rabbi and Maelin are deconstructing the forges. I already prepared Magma Encounter forms should there be a horrific accident. White-Devil, LLSix and Life_source found my mining orders for the workshop level. I will be certain to check which of them seized the title of foreman for that project and demand appropriate reports! 16th Limestone The merchants have left us. Unfortunately I did not have time to form a Customs Committee for the purpose of developing Entry and Exit Forms and procedures. I will be more prepared next time. 17th Limestone Fiendish Murk has appeared.  It doesn't look very scary. If this fortress observed proper record-keeping I would know exactly what to do. However, no SOP has been properly formulated and formatted for dissemination to the populace. For now, KEEP AWAY. Hopefully I can draft some kind of directive to post about the fort. Steve the hunter approaches the murk. No Steve! It is against Fortress Regulations to approach the Murk! You are in direct violation of your implied contract with the fortress of Bronzestabbed and the dwarf civilization which it represents! Entering the murk will immediately forfeit all citizenship and benefits entailed thereof, including but not limited to your continued existence!  Steve, on her way to get a drink. OF DEATH! DO NOT ENTER THE MURK! LeJackal fucked around with this message at 05:13 on Nov 14, 2012 |
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Nov 14, 2012 03:42
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Of course it's Steve.
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Nov 14, 2012 04:49
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Mr. Despair posted:Of course it's Steve. Alas, poor Steve.  Here we have the problem. Steve has been content, and from this contented state has risen a dullness and false sense of security! Note also she is only 25 years of age, very young for a dwarf. With this youth comes a death tempting recklessness. You can see it right there, 'little patience'. Its all right in my files, all very official. Very permanent. No patience to walk around the murk, and no memory so she cannot recall my SPECIFIC WARNING NOT TO ENTER THE MURK.  Worshiping the god of death, rot, and disease probably didn't help either.
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Nov 14, 2012 05:13
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 This is a loose-parchment folio entitled "Lessons". It contains excerpts from the correspondences of JimmyTheD Helmscale, to his daughter, Boing. The gods, my child, are fickle creatures. This must never be forgotten, and it is why, despite the peril of my soul, I worship none. Take, for example, the time that no doubt confused you, when I drew myself away from society to make, of all things, a magical shield made of dog bones. Is it a good shield? No, it is made of bones, bones that all too easily snap. Does it carry a message? If it does, it is one of dark humour indeed, Boing, for it gives us only a message of despair. You see, as time goes by in a fortress, things begin to get... a little strange. You will have been young, but we have had a child overseer, an overseer accepted from another world (by the word of our Queen, no less!), and now... now, we face our most dire threat. Not the Murk. Not a goblin horde, or a Minotaur, or even a Forgotten One. No. We face a clerk. Not even a broker, or a book-keeper... a slave to rules and regulations, and if there is one thing I have learned over the years, it is that these types find power intoxicating, for until now, they have had none. I will protect you as much as I can, my child, but for now: - Keep your head down. - Don't volunteer for anything. - Try not to make eye contact with LeJackal. I've heard that, like bull apes, power-mad clerks are enraged by eye contact. Although that last part may be hearsay. For now, I pray (not to gods, just in general) for the safety of our fortress. This is truly a dark time... Hastily scribbled in the margins: Also, Boing, should I die, remind the current Overseer of regulation 418z(iii) of the Burial Acts of 198. This will at least ensure I get a chance to haunt the bastard, and watch over you for a little longer. JamieTheD fucked around with this message at 06:54 on Nov 14, 2012 |
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Nov 14, 2012 06:51
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