(This is a Protectors of the Plot Continuum story as written by the Bing chatbot, which uses GPT-4. This supposedly makes it more powerful than the free version of ChatGPT, which uses GPT-3.5.)
# Interlude: A Day in the Life of a PPC Agent
Agent Rina was bored. She had been sitting at her console for hours, waiting for a new mission assignment. She had already read all the latest posts on the PPC Posting Board, played all the games on her computer, and even cleaned her response center. She was running out of things to do.
She glanced at her partner, Agent Jake, who was snoring on the couch. He had fallen asleep after their last mission, which involved a Harry Potter fic with a Draco/Hermione/Voldemort love triangle. Rina shuddered at the memory. She wished she could sleep as easily as Jake, but she was too restless.
She decided to check her console again, hoping for a new alert. Maybe there was a new Lord of the Rings fic that needed their attention. She loved Lord of the Rings, and she enjoyed visiting Middle-earth, even if it meant dealing with badfic.
She tapped her console and waited for it to load. To her surprise, she saw a red flashing light. She had a new mission!
She quickly opened the message and read it:
> **Mission Briefing**
>
> Agents: Rina and Jake
>
> Department: Department of Mary Sues
>
> Fandom: The Hunger Games
>
> Badfic: "The Girl on Fire and Ice"
>
> Summary: Katniss Everdeen has a twin sister, Kira Everdeen, who is also chosen as a tribute for the 74th Hunger Games. Kira is beautiful, smart, brave, and skilled with a bow and arrow. She catches the eye of both Peeta Mellark and Gale Hawthorne, who both fall in love with her. She also becomes friends with Rue, Thresh, Finnick, and Cinna. She leads a rebellion against the Capitol and becomes the symbol of hope for Panem. She is the Girl on Fire and Ice.
>
> Charges: Creating a Mary Sue character; stealing Katniss's role and personality; altering canon events and characters; bad spelling and grammar; etc.
>
> Mission Objective: Eliminate Kira Everdeen and restore canon.
Rina felt a surge of excitement. She had never been to The Hunger Games fandom before, but she had read the books and watched the movies. She knew enough about the canon to spot a Sue when she saw one. And this Kira sounded like a textbook example.
She nudged Jake awake and showed him the message.
"Hey, we have a new mission," she said.
Jake rubbed his eyes and looked at the console.
"Great," he said sarcastically. "Another Sue."
He got up from the couch and stretched.
"Let's get this over with," he said.
Rina grabbed their backpacks and their disguises. They were going to pose as District 12 tributes, so they wore simple clothes and jackets. They also took their standard equipment: their CAD (Canon Analysis Device), their neuralyzers (for wiping canon characters' memories), their remote activator (for opening portals), and their weapons (a knife for Rina and a gun for Jake).
They stepped through the portal and entered the badfic. They found themselves in the middle of the reaping, where the tributes for the Hunger Games were chosen. They blended in with the crowd of District 12 citizens, who looked grim and fearful.
Rina activated her CAD and scanned the scene. The device beeped and displayed some information:
Canon Analysis Device
Fandom: The Hunger Games
Canon Character: Effie Trinket
Status: Out of Character
Charge: Being too cheerful and friendly; wearing a pink wig instead of a purple one; calling District 12 “darlings” instead of “dear”; etc.
Rina frowned. She didn’t like Effie Trinket, the Capitol representative who announced the tributes. She was a shallow and insensitive woman who treated the Hunger Games like a game show. But she was even worse in this badfic. She was acting like a bubbly and benevolent fairy godmother, instead of a cold and clueless bureaucrat.
She looked at Jake, who was also scanning the scene with his CAD. He shook his head and showed her his device:
Canon Analysis Device
Fandom: The Hunger Games
Canon Character: Haymitch Abernathy
Status: Out of Character
Charge: Being sober and serious; wearing a suit instead of rags; giving helpful advice instead of sarcastic remarks; etc.
Rina rolled her eyes. She liked Haymitch Abernathy, the mentor of the District 12 tributes. He was a drunk and cynical man who had won the Hunger Games in the past. He had a lot of trauma and guilt from his experience, but he also had a hidden heart of gold. But he was also ruined in this badfic. He was acting like a wise and noble leader, instead of a bitter and broken survivor.
She whispered to Jake:
“Looks like we have two OOCs already. And we haven’t even met the Sue yet.”
Jake nodded.
“Let’s hope she’s not too bad.”
They turned their attention to the stage, where Effie Trinket was about to draw the names of the tributes.
“And now, for the moment you’ve all been waiting for,” she said in a cheerful voice. “The reaping for the 74th Hunger Games! As always, ladies first!”
She reached into a glass bowl and pulled out a slip of paper. She read it aloud:
“Kira Everdeen!”
Rina and Jake exchanged a look of disbelief.
“Kira Everdeen?” Rina repeated. “That’s not canon.”
“No kidding,” Jake said. “That’s the Sue.”
They looked at the crowd, where a girl was making her way to the stage. She had long black hair, bright blue eyes, and flawless skin. She wore a blue dress that matched her eyes and a silver pendant that sparkled in the sun. She looked calm and confident, as if she was not afraid of the Hunger Games at all.
Rina activated her CAD and pointed it at the girl. The device beeped and displayed some information:
Canon Analysis Device
Fandom: The Hunger Games
Original Character: Kira Everdeen
Status: Mary Sue
Charge: Being Katniss’s twin sister; having a perfect appearance and personality; being loved by everyone; being skilled with a bow and arrow; etc.
Rina groaned. She hated Mary Sues, especially the ones who were related to canon characters. They always stole their roles and traits, and made them look bad in comparison.
She whispered to Jake:
“She’s a Sue, all right. And a bad one at that.”
Jake nodded.
“Let’s see how she interacts with the canon characters. Maybe we can find an opportunity to kill her.”
They watched as Kira reached the stage and faced Effie Trinket. Effie smiled and hugged her.
“Oh, my darling, you are so brave and beautiful,” she said. “I’m sure you will do great in the Hunger Games.”
Kira smiled back and thanked her.
“You are so kind and generous, Miss Trinket,” she said. “I appreciate your support.”
Rina and Jake rolled their eyes. They knew that Effie Trinket was neither kind nor generous. She was a Capitol puppet who cared more about her appearance and manners than the lives of the tributes.
They scanned the crowd again, looking for Katniss Everdeen, Kira’s supposed twin sister. They found her standing next to a boy with blond hair and blue eyes. He was Peeta Mellark, the baker’s son who had a crush on Katniss.
Rina pointed her CAD at Katniss. The device beeped and displayed some information:
Canon Analysis Device
Fandom: The Hunger Games
Canon Character: Katniss Everdeen
Status: Out of Character
Charge: Being happy and cheerful; wearing a pink dress instead of a gray one; having no feelings for Peeta or Gale; being overshadowed by Kira; etc.
Rina sighed. She liked Katniss Everdeen, the protagonist of the Hunger Games series. She was a strong and independent girl who volunteered as a tribute to save her younger sister, Prim. She had a lot of hardships and challenges in her life, but she also had a lot of courage and compassion. But she was also ruined in this badfic. She was acting like a happy and carefree girl, instead of a serious and survivalist one.
She whispered to Jake:
“Look at Katniss. She’s OOC too.”
Jake nodded.
“She doesn’t look like herself at all,” Jake said. “She looks like a Barbie doll.”
They watched as Katniss clapped and cheered for Kira, along with the rest of the crowd. They knew that Katniss would never do that in canon. She would be shocked and horrified by the reaping, and she would volunteer to take Kira’s place.
They also noticed that Peeta was staring at Kira with admiration and awe. He seemed to have forgotten about Katniss, his childhood crush.
Rina pointed her CAD at Peeta. The device beeped and displayed some information:
Canon Analysis Device
Fandom: The Hunger Games
Canon Character: Peeta Mellark
Status: Out of Character
Charge: Being attracted to Kira instead of Katniss; having no personality or backstory; being a pawn of Kira’s love triangle; etc.
Rina shook her head. She liked Peeta Mellark, the co-protagonist of the Hunger Games series. He was a kind and gentle boy who loved Katniss and helped her survive the Hunger Games. He had a lot of talent and charisma, but he also had a lot of pain and trauma. But he was also ruined in this badfic. He was acting like a bland and boring boy, instead of a complex and interesting one.
She whispered to Jake:
“And look at Peeta. He’s OOC too.”
Jake nodded.
“He doesn’t look like himself either. He looks like a Ken doll.”
They watched as Effie Trinket moved on to the next name.
“And now, for the boys,” she said. “Who will be the lucky one to join Kira in the Hunger Games?”
She reached into another glass bowl and pulled out a slip of paper. She read it aloud:
“Peeta Mellark!”
Rina and Jake gasped.
“Peeta Mellark?” Rina repeated. “That’s not canon either.”
“No kidding,” Jake said. “That’s convenient.”
They looked at Peeta, who smiled and walked to the stage. He hugged Kira and whispered something in her ear. She blushed and smiled back.
Rina and Jake groaned. They knew that Peeta would never do that in canon. He would be scared and nervous by the reaping, and he would try to protect Katniss from harm.
They scanned the crowd again, looking for Gale Hawthorne, Katniss’s best friend and hunting partner. They found him standing next to Prim Everdeen, Katniss’s younger sister. He was holding her hand and comforting her.
Rina pointed her CAD at Gale. The device beeped and displayed some information:
Canon Analysis Device
Fandom: The Hunger Games
Canon Character: Gale Hawthorne
Status: Out of Character
Charge: Being friendly and supportive of Kira; having no feelings for Katniss; being a pawn of Kira’s love triangle; etc.
Rina clenched her teeth. She liked Gale Hawthorne, the deuteragonist of the Hunger Games series. He was a strong and loyal boy who cared for Katniss and her family. He had a lot of anger and resentment towards the Capitol, but he also had a lot of passion and courage. But he was also ruined in this badfic. He was acting like a nice and neutral boy, instead of a fierce and rebellious one.
She whispered to Jake:
“And look at Gale. He’s OOC too.”
Jake nodded.
“He doesn’t look like himself either. He looks like a generic love interest.”
They watched as Gale clapped and cheered for Kira, along with Prim and the rest of the crowd. They knew that Gale would never do that in canon. He would be angry and bitter by the reaping, and he would try to rebel against the Capitol.
They also noticed that Gale was staring at Kira with admiration and awe. He seemed to have forgotten about Katniss, his best friend and possible love interest.
Rina and Jake had seen enough. They knew that this badfic was a disaster. It had turned the Hunger Games into a cheesy and clichéd romance story, with Kira as the perfect and popular heroine, and Peeta and Gale as her devoted and disposable suitors.
They decided to act fast and end this madness. They waited for the right moment to strike.
They saw their chance when Effie Trinket finished her speech and led Kira and Peeta to a car that would take them to the train station. The crowd followed them, waving and cheering.
Rina and Jake slipped through the crowd and ran towards the car. They hoped that no one would notice them.
They reached the car and opened the door. They saw Kira and Peeta sitting inside, holding hands and smiling.
(Thunder’s note: Right here the Bing AI’s safeguards went up, since it has very strong safeguards against writing about violence. But before the blocks went up, I saw something along the lines of: Rina and Jake pulled out their weapons, but were interrupted by Gale.)