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Pozzo posted:Pussy. Nnnnno, the combat log clearly describes it as the facial region. 
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Jul 22, 2012 19:53
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OhCrap posted:BAD COW IS CLOSE!  i poo poo trains  Someone needs to write you a dirge or something, man. I'd try but I'm not sure I could keep a straight face. That aside, Leper
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Jul 22, 2012 20:18
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OhCrap posted:Mortal Sword Wordstockades  "Can I swing a sword? Blade's been sheathed for some time now in favor o' wood burnin', but I'll serve where needed most."
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Jul 22, 2012 20:45
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Welp... My bio said that my dwarf was incredibly weak. Several times. It was bound to happen. Zaodai, you better stay alive to continue the family name!
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Jul 22, 2012 20:47
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Zaodai dorf must carry on the family name. Get married, dude.
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Jul 22, 2012 20:59
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Me Man, the only people left in my family are my mother, wife (bet: she dies/gets crippled in the ambush) and brother. What a tragic family. I was going to write a journal entry complaining that it was a bad idea to draft my weak, 150 year old father in the militia but I guess it's too late for that now. At least my death can be used as an excellent example of why you should always protect the tiny, painful nerves of your hands and feet.
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Jul 22, 2012 21:10
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Caught myself thinking in the voice of OhCrap earlier. OhCrap is Catchiest Overseer. Edit: i poo poo trains, I actually started writing a dirge for you, but I warn you now, it's rather terrible, at least partly due to lack of sleep. Coincidentally, I need to sleep now, so I'm going to post the beginning despite my best judgement screaming at me not to: pre:i poo poo trains you were the best at chopping things now you are dead what will we do? 
GrimRevenant fucked around with this message at 21:26 on Jul 22, 2012 |
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Jul 22, 2012 21:13
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Bad Munki posted:i poo poo trains Black Griffon posted:i poo poo trains scamtank posted:i poo poo trains! Demiurge4 posted:I poo poo Trains i poo poo trains was the hero Bronzestabbed deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dwarf knight. May you rest in peace, i poo poo trains.  EDIT: Someone should build a statue of him in the legendary dining room!
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Jul 22, 2012 21:20
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 Journal Entry Two, Loss I've been here nearly a year now, and the Great Enemy has made no move to darken our shores. Still I wait, I know they are coming. Overseer OhCrap comes to me periodically, screaming of enemies in the fields, and across the river only to find that they are kobolds, goblins, and other such rubbish. I make little attempt to join the fight. It could be a feint to pull our militia out of position! Brother is here, he can stop such petty threats, the exercise is good for him after his bout with Giant Cave Spider venom. Even now he fights lizardmen in the caves below us for sport. Father even planned to join him. But now, all I hear from the caves is screaming, and not the screaming of Lizardmen. This cannot be good. Father and Brother should be able to take on any number of Lizardmen, what has happened? I am loathe to abandon my watch over the Great Enemy, but I must check on Father and Brother! Perhaps Overseer is correct, and I have ignored the small threats for too long. No more.
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Jul 22, 2012 21:32
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There once was a dwarf who shat trains Who died in the greatest of pains Down out of the light He got in a fight And took a sharp stick in his brains
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Jul 22, 2012 21:41
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Poor i poo poo trains, may all your fighting in Dwarfhalla be against carp. OhCrap, is my dwarf equipped with an axe? Because if so, some training would be in it's place, seeing that I prefer her not going down due to some punk-rear end lizards 
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Jul 22, 2012 21:50
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Today, we all poo poo trains.
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Jul 22, 2012 22:14
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Poor i poo poo trains. BENE WHAT DID YOU DO. GOD. It's like Jeremy Clarkson asking how hard something could be. You just don't say things like that!
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Jul 22, 2012 22:17
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And so, like the swallows returning to Capistrano, a warrior is lauded early on in a DF LP only to be taken away, causing his burgeoning hero cult to wail to the heavens. I think all this death only supports the need for someone to assign SirPenguin a position as High Priest and build a nice, comfy cathedral for him and his bodies. After all, i poo poo trains can come back, he'd just be a bit different.
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Jul 22, 2012 22:22
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He shat trains. I am going to be leaping on the chance to take over like a hungry panther Question: If someone is in a good mood when they die, can it actually be beneficial to not bury them properly? girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 22:50 on Jul 22, 2012 |
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Jul 22, 2012 22:40
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I guess if nothing else, this death provides me the opportunity to become the rightful protector of Bronzestabbed that I was meant to be.  I just need to survive long enough to become fully skilled and equipped and aahahahaha goodbye cruel world
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Jul 22, 2012 22:49
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Mortal Sword posted:
Wow, how did you make that?
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Jul 22, 2012 23:20
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Daktar posted:There once was a dwarf who shat trains 
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Jul 22, 2012 23:24
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As one of the captains I have been asked to say a few words about the fallen soldier i poo poo trains. He had become an icon in the fortress and many are grieving his loss. Of course, nobody gives a toss about the other soldiers that died with him but hey that is how the puny dwarven brain works. I was only briefly associated with the young man, so this speech might not go well. I'm just going by what little I did know about him. "People said i poo poo trains was a good soldier. Really good, maybe even the best. But of course he wasn't the best. In fact I struggle to even call him competent, as competent soldiers don't die alone on a muddy cave floor. You all padded his ego by telling him how great he was and look where it got him. Your hubris does not stop towercap spears. So learn from his mistake, don't rush off alone and get yourself killed. It's not heroic, it's stupid. Now someone go drag his corpse back up her and take off the equipment before he starts to rot in it. As for the man himself, he was ugly and annoying and now he's a stinking corpse. RIP, I guess." I think that sums him up pretty well. I hope the other dwarves don't demand he got some ridiculously elaborate tomb. Maybe if they stopped using metal to produce tacky decorations we would have enough armour to fully equip everyone. I mean what good does a fancy tomb do him now? He's dead, he doesn't care.
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Jul 22, 2012 23:38
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I was going to write an entry full of hope, dreams, and headroom to mark my arrival at this new place, but work already fills my hands Already I have set and dressed, outdoors dust still upon my boots, and the Overseer is shrieking and jumping about in ways that are promising more work for me. But time to think, and sit, for some breaths and settling. It is disappointment to see not a looming cave, but a dusted burrow, with stone only starting at it's end. I had hoped for headroom, great round corners, wide open spaces where any dwarf need not worry about headbangings, though it is supposed, small comfort, that dirt yields more than stone. Still my wife and child are away from the dark whisperings, the strange wounds, and though this place cowers at the edge of foulness, it is secret, and in that secret, strong. ..... And already my head is bruised.
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Jul 22, 2012 23:58
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 The Journal of Qword, Chirurgeon Entry 3 (Galena of 238) Entry 1, Entry 2 I am chirurgeon! I am medicaldwarf at Bronzestabbed! At last. No more fish for me. No more turtles. No more foul outdoors. Only blood, guts, and vomit from here on out! My first patient was Mzbundifund, a marksdwarf with a broken right arm. Ah, how good it is to heal dwarves again. Praise King Zulban! Death to greenskins! I gave Mzbundifund a sponge bath (it was pleasing for both of us) and slapped a bandage on his hand, because bandages heal broken bones (I learned this at Tomemoistened). Mzbundifund declined to drink with me tonight. Perhaps I should not have asked him while I was dabbing his tight body with a warm sponge. Aside from this, much has happened, none of which concerned me, so I will not write of it here. Minotaurs and necrotized beasts were interesting to behold from afar. I did anatomical sketches from atop a hill. Dwarves died, but that is no matter. Dying is something dwarves are wont to do. I regret only that I did not have the opportunity to sponge them all. I do not care much for others, but the death of i poo poo trains did affect me slightly. He was a fair, swarthy dwarf whom I liked to look at. Much better than Falgund. I did a sketch of the late dwarf and have hung it in the infirmary. Patients have started laying their hand solemnly on it as they pass by.  Meanwhile, my progeny Tildeath grows in size, but I rarely see him because he is annoying and loud like his mother.
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Jul 23, 2012 00:04
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Three-Phase posted:Wow, how did you make that? He drew it, I imagine.
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Jul 23, 2012 00:06
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Three-Phase posted:Wow, how did you make that? Wubbles posted:He drew it, I imagine. Yup. Photoshop, stylus.
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Jul 23, 2012 00:21
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i poo poo trains posted:Me And boy do I wish the smiths had got through the high boots, mailshirts, and helms. Willie Tomg posted:And THAT is why you never send your military in piecemeal. Give them a waypoint far from the action, and then send them in when they're assembled in a big blob so they can all fall on enemies at once. Numbers advantage is a pretty big deal in DF melee. Now we have an ambush and the squads need to file up one by one into literally iron-clad goblin warriors who have decidedly a bit more fight than a primitive tribe of subterranean lizards. And because I wasn't downstairs I was probably taking a nap or getting a snack which means I get to be one of the poor sad fuckers to face them off. Without proper armor. Yep. Unfortunately, the first waypoint set was right next to the hitherto unknown reptile men. i poo poo trains dove in immediately. Ventnor and neongrey ignored my reset station command, well away from the action. I don't know if Mlle ignored it, or if it was pathfinding. And after that I had enough to send in the cavalry. Not all are shown, and luckily, I didn't really need to commit the Creations of Luck. OhCrap and Willie Tomg are most probably quite well positioned. quote:In retrospect using bronze for the components of a nonfunctioning mist generator and not basic protection for the military was, perhaps, not the smartest allocation of resources. It took me a while to get enough charcoal and bronze to correct this, but there's a good production line happening now. I sometimes think my fellow goons assume there was caverns of charcoal and bronze bars just sitting around, waiting for use  I just loaded up the original save to double check, and I can see that there were 21 bronze bars available, and no charcoal. There were some helms, gauntlets, breastplates, and shields - but I had to unforbid many of them. There's not much in leggings or greaves. I know the breastplates and shields are being used. I need to check on the helms and gauntlets. Normally I would make a custom armour build which gives maximum coverage. This is a helm, breastplate, mailshirt, gauntlets, greaves, high boots, and shield. I normally prefer this to cover both melee and ranged dwarfs .. not sure if the combat changes allow for this build, though. I seem to recall that Voxmod had made the breastplate + mail combo unusable? I don't know if this was carried into Lepermod. I had already started charcoal production in the first month, before I was prepared to even think of soap. That was the real reason for "Forests should be clear cut!" but I also needed weapons. Crossbows, bolts, and bronze weapons were also a priority, and I had to make a few - there weren't many at all. Charcoal production was very stop-start at first. And of course there was no bowyer at the start. It quickly transpired that I desperately needed armour and clothing alike, as clothing began deteriorating. But I also ran short on crafts, and so there have been a small amount of copper crafts generated (very small) which wouldn't significantly impact on this. Hell, the militia started starving when I set them to Active and they began to patrol, so I needed backpacks too. That said, I know that there are errors on my part. I don't think I fully appreciated how long it was going to take to get the production line going. We didn't have enough crafts to buy much in the way of iron and steel bars from the caravan .. I managed to scrape iron mace, war-hammer, and breastplate. I think they were probably better investments than the bars in retrospect. But not double checking equipment is actually being used was a mistake. Frankly I think the One-Way Outs should be in bronze and not leather armour as their uniform currently stands, especially since there's a shortage of leather from a lack of animals to kill. But I've been trying to keep them away from direct engagement as much as possible through Station. Sometimes it doesn't work so well. Bene Elim posted:
They're training well, but it also helps that a number started from a reasonable skill level already, as migrants. I'm impressed that SirPenguin managed to get to Competent from having no crossbow at all, and no archery range until I made one. I laughed at the video Three-Phase posted:They're coming. I love these scamtank posted:Yeah, the first hit he got went right through his foot. The greaves and breastplate were completely impervious to those cavewood spears, but when the bleeding and the pain got to him enough to screw with his accuracy and dodging, he was toast. So I just loaded up the current save, and Bad Munki isn't even wearing the explicitly assigned (by previous overseer) helm and gauntlets. Nomikos shows as wearing "metal headwear", for example, but in fact is wearing a leather cap and hood. Haardrade shows as full coverage but is in silk gloves, leather cap and hood, and pig tail fibre shoes. Virtually all the melee dwarfs I check have bronze breastplates, and most have the newly forged greaves. The problem is one I've noted before. Basically the armour assignment needs to outline every piece of armour and clothing to use, and to be set to Replace clothing rather than Over clothing. Otherwise dwarfs think that pig tail fibre clothing is equivalent. I'll plead the excuse that there's a lot to get across and it's easy to miss something. I've worked to do quite a bit in my time, and my write-ups don't reflect how seriously I took getting things up to scratch. One year is definitely not a lot for everything I tried to take care of.
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Jul 23, 2012 01:31
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What did I do?!?
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Mortal Sword posted:Yup. Photoshop, stylus. It's hell good.
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Jul 23, 2012 01:33
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OhCrap posted:The problem is one I've noted before. Basically the armour assignment needs to outline every piece of armour and clothing to use, and to be set to Replace clothing rather than Over clothing. Otherwise dwarfs think that pig tail fibre clothing is equivalent. Yes, this is a relatively recent change. Worn hats, shoes and gloves/mitts do not stack with armor anymore and recruits seem to prefer their civilian clothes over the incompatible uniform requirements. Looks like Bad Munki needs to start issuing pants and footrags, too.
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Jul 23, 2012 01:40
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scamtank posted:Yes, this is a relatively recent change. Worn hats, shoes and gloves/mitts do not stack with armor anymore and recruits seem to prefer their civilian clothes over the incompatible uniform requirements. Dwarfs are charging into battle with no pants? Oh my.
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Jul 23, 2012 01:48
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4th Obsidian 237 Mandates: Feed me pickles (3/3) Feed me ice cream (2/2) A mandate has been missed! Dwarf Baby is throwing a tantrum Dwarf Baby kicks the Falgund's uturus wall, bruising the fat through the fat! Dwarf Baby kicks the Falgund's placenta, shattering it! Dwarf Mother grabs Dwarf Baby with her Extremely Powerful Pelvic Muscles, latching on tightly! Dwarf Mother throws Dwarf Baby onto the floor! Dwarf Baby slams into an obstacle! Mother, your little migrant has arrived! I can only imagine that this great beast that bore me to this fine fortress is some kind of pack animal--a shaggy pack animal. I shall adore your kind forever, oh yak, for providing me this service. Now take me to my obviously svelte and beautiful mother. No, wait, first take me to my father, whom I'm sure looks like this: Mortal Sword posted:
Yes, this is the image I have dwelt on long in that dark cave, of what surely must be my completely heterosexual and not at all creepy father! Take me to him oh beloved yak!
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Jul 23, 2012 01:53
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I also just noticed that baby Male Man continues to be carried around by Idles. Idles has been treated and has a nice cast on. Male Man has not. No wonder he's unhappy ..
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Jul 23, 2012 02:00
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Storgar posted:EDIT: Someone should build a statue of him in the legendary dining room! Yes, this. Out of black bronze.
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Jul 23, 2012 02:16
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OhCrap posted:I also just noticed that baby Male Man continues to be carried around by Idles. Idles has been treated and has a nice cast on. Male Man has not. No wonder he's unhappy .. It builds character. Straight bones that do not look like those of a malformed abominations Ugath would call his own son, not so much.
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Jul 23, 2012 02:20
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Angela Christine posted:Dwarfs are charging into battle with no pants? Oh my. Nooo we're not that funny yet. It's just that they're a pretty good minimum undergarments for a full "no civvies allowed" uniform.
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Jul 23, 2012 02:25
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OhCrap posted:It's hell good. Thanks (now watch my dude die immediately like a chump).
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Jul 23, 2012 03:01
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OhCrap posted:I also just noticed that baby Male Man continues to be carried around by Idles. Idles has been treated and has a nice cast on. Male Man has not. No wonder he's unhappy .. She's upset because her dreams of becoming a concert pianist were dashed upon the stony ground.
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Jul 23, 2012 03:37
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Hey everyone! I've updated the 3rd post with all the update links and stuff, hope I didn't miss anything (if I did please let me know). I think if we want to be sure of everyone getting to start on the 1st day of a particular season, it might make sense to give the next few overseers a little extra time. We're currently running from the 10th of Limestone, which is just 10 days into the second half of the year, so for OhCrap to finish out the whole year would mean nearly 6 extra months of service. I'll PM OhCrap but I think perhaps we'll just have him play to a convenient spot and then do the handoff at that point. Oh, and Lepermod includes a speedup to training rates for military, because in vanilla it takes multiple years for a recruit to become reasonably effective through training. It also helps that I gave BadMunki some skill in Teaching on embark. The Teaching skill makes a big difference in training effectiveness. Some dwarves are naturally better at learning, too (and there's a learning skill) so those have an effect as well.
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Jul 23, 2012 04:19
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Novice, dabbling, adequate, competent, great, talented, expert, etc. What is the order that all of these go in? EDIT: Oops, have this helpful link: http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/v0.31:Skill
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Jul 23, 2012 05:05
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Flavius Belisarius posted:Novice, dabbling, adequate, competent, great, talented, expert, etc. This is pretty comprehensive: http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Skill
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Jul 23, 2012 05:06
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This is a set of journalslabs written by "Captain_Duck" Inkfolds. All craftsdwarfship is of Terrible Quality 19th Galena 237 Dear journalslab, today me and my lovely wife Moonwalk met with sankis today. We spoke about the new dwarven outpost called bronzestabbed, where we are trying to find a solution to the greenskin menace. I was not very interested in this because the dwarves of Roastmansions depend on me as their leading surgeon, and i have lived here all my life. Besides, i have never even seen a greenskin. 20th Galena 237 Dear journalslab, last night me and Moonwalk talked a lot, and she told me about Planksaviour. Moonwalk was born in Planksaviour and grew up there. I knew all this but she had never told me about all the greenskins that lived there side by side with dwarves, and how foul the greenskins really are. She seems to want to go to bronzestabbed to help the beardlings there. I had to remind her that she is 101 years old and a mother of two before she saw my side. 28th Galena 237 Dear journalslab, today i caved in and agreed to go to Bronzestabbed to help out the beardlings there. Apparently it it impossible to change the mind of a dwarf woman. It will be tough to leave the good people of Roastmansions, but the missus wants to go. 12th Sandstone 237 Dear journalslab, tomorrow we will join a caravan that is going towards bronzestabbed. We are taking Barbarossa with us, she is getting quite big, but we can't leave a 12 year old alone here. Our other child has chosen to stay behind though. 25th Slate 238 Dear journalslab, we have arrived in bronzestabbed! We met with the overseer today, who has a peculiar accent, and doesn't seem like the brightest tool in the shed. I told him i was a renowned surgeon in Roastmansions but i was told the fortress already has a chirurgeon, whatever that is. Instead he put me on hauling duty. Did i really leave my job as a surgeon for this? What is even worse, is that my beloved moonwalk is now drafted into the bronzestabbed military. She had been the broker of Roastmansions for decades now, but this "oh crap" idiot thinks she is of more use in the military. On top of that, we heard there are evil clouds outside which turns weasels into bad ogress. Why did i let moonwalk convince me to go to this godforsaken place. Maybe we should just go back. 29th Slate 238 Dear journalslab, i spoke with the so called chirurgeon today. He is a young beardlings, only 20 years old. He admitted to me that he has no actual experience cutting dwarves as well, yet still he is chief medical dwarf. What madness is this? At least the missus seems to enjoy the military duty. I hope the other dwarves will let her fight in the back lines, since she is over a hundred. 15th Hematite 238 I told the head idiot that i also had some experience in forging armor before i became a surgeon. He seemed to understood that and put me at work at the forges. This isn't optimal, but anything to get me off hauling duty. And this way i can create armor to protect my beloved moonwalk. 6th Malachite 238 Dear journalslab, i am scared. A giant bull-man has come. It's a terrifying creature. And the overseer has sent out the entire militia, including moonwalk out to fight it! Oh i hope she's ok. 7th Malachite 238 Dear journalslab, i heard moonwalk scream outside today. I would go help her but i am to scared to go outside, the bull-man is still there and i have no military training. 8th Malachite 238 Dear journalslab, the fighting is still going on. I haven't heard moonwalk at all today. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? 9th Malachite 238 Dear journalslab, i am broken. The bull-man has been slain by local hero I poo poo train, but at the greatest of costs. My poor beloved Moonwalk, the bull-man has slain her. I saw her corpse as the haulers brought her in and it was terrible. I have seen some terrible wounds in my days as a surgeon but this was brutal, there was hardly anything left of her once beautiful face. And now i am alone. Well not alone, i still have to take care of Barbarossa. She has been crying ever since moonwalk's corpse was brought back. What can i say to her? Moonwalk always consoled her when bad things happened. What should i say? What should i do? 12th Galena 238 Dear journalslab, i thought things were bad before. Things were great before. Today local hero I poo poo trains, and half of our military forces died when the head idiot foolishly sent our entire army into the blasted caves. I thought about taking barbarossa and running away, back to roastmansions, but the journey is far to dangerous for a 93 year old and a 12 year old beardling. We shall have to wait until a caravan arrives. If they ever arrive. If the fort holds that long. I has to hold. It HAS to hold. Oh moonwalk why did that bull-man have to take you away?. ((ok i spent way to much time researching and writing that, time which i could also have used to make a new video. But oh well, "Captain_Duck" Inkfolds horrible story needed to be told))
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Jul 23, 2012 05:12
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Colon V posted:He shat trains. We should commemorate i poo poo trains by setting up minecart-based defenses to kill any invaders.
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Jul 23, 2012 05:42
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 From the Overseer Diary of OhCrap Mountainmist, 238, Bronzestabbed 15th Galena 238 I am Worst Overseer. But I must Save Last Hope. This is an Emergency. Lock Spider Cavern. Militia will Make Do.  Order Dwarfs Inside.  GOOD JOB FINDING GOBLINS HUMPH NOW FAST RUN  All who are near are in. Lock doors.  Pleky McDwarfson is by Bridge and must Hide from Goblins.  Peas is also near Bridge and must Hide.  Humph ran far to escape, but Goblin did Fast Run.   I hope Militia are okay in Spider Cavern.  I think Humph ran from Fortress to buy time for Last Hope.  16th Galena 238 I think I hear a Caravan?  17th Galena 238 Marksgoblin fires at our livestock!  Cave Swallow Hunter attacks!  He was Good Cave Swallow Hunter.  Goblins .. stop?  18th Galena 238 Human Caravan! Goblins Run from Humans?  It is a Trick! More Goblins leap!  GoBotSodomizer does Dig Emergency Tunnel for Militia!  Hatch will Lock when not Needed.  19th Galena 238 Humans fight Goblins!  Humans are Winning!  20th Galena 238 Humans leaving  Goblins flee!  21st Galena 238 Open doors. Pleky McDwarfson and Peas can now come Inside!  Unlock outside Spider Cavern hatch. Lock Inside Spider Cavern hatch.  All may go now outside and Clean up. There is much Cleanup to Do before I Stand Down. 
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Jul 23, 2012 07:04
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