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 10th Slate 239 Medtob! Return at once with your wattle downcast in shame! Do you think overthefalls or Apeynap or Peas or anyone else needs to see a turkey prancing about in the corpse pile right now? I assure you they do not, young sir! Covered in blood too. I want you to stand right here by the furnace and think about what you've done. That is what I will tell Medtob when I catch him. It will not faze him much. He has no sense of what is tasteful, and if he is not careful some angry dwarves will find him very tasteful. The Overseer has politely suggested I should clean Medtob and I have politely suggested the Overseer should try getting blood off a turkey sometime. It's a reasonable request, but gore can clot up feathers something awful. scamtank has created a helm known as the Wet Climax. Words fail me. Laughter does not but I have kept it to one guffaw so far. I should practice my speech to Medtob less and my speech to Leperfish more in case a meeting with him comes to pass. 'First Overseer, it is the honor of dwarves to be slain by turkey titans.' No. 'First Overseer, Bad Munki fell doing what you intended this fort to do.' No. Both are true but neither help. 'First Overseer, would you like a drumstick?' Definitely not. (I don't think a Kovest drumstick would fit through the office door.) 'First Overseer, your will and focus founded this place. What will come of us if we see you falter now?' Maybe. Maybe. Too much guilt? Certainly truth. 'First Overseer, your other friends do not wish to see you insane.' Also true probably. I haven't asked the other founders whether they would like Leperfish to run about throwing his socks in the air. This is because I am more tasteful than a turkey. I must give more thought to the matter.
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Aug 10, 2012 04:36
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MrYenko posted:Flashgullies, the Wet Climax... I find it's most entertaining for the audience to treat this kind of ridiculous poo poo the game sends your way as if it is nothing out of the ordinary  Bonus points for subtle, possibly unintentional jokes. Edit edit: Also definitely glad to see most everyone is enjoying this! I kinda forgot just how enjoyable/satisfying creative writing of this sort can be, even if it is pretty time-intensive. Glad I signed up for this now 
Rawkking fucked around with this message at 04:52 on Aug 10, 2012 |
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Aug 10, 2012 04:39
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OhCrap posted:Kaishai testing out that soap theory.  The experiments in dwarf soap magic are a secret! But this just might be the key to soap that smells like booze.Edited to add: Rawkking posted:Edit edit: Also definitely glad to see most everyone is enjoying this! I kinda forgot just how enjoyable/satisfying creative writing of this sort can be, even if it is pretty time-intensive. Glad I signed up for this now You're doing a great job. I like your updates; the style works well with what's going on.
Kaishai fucked around with this message at 05:05 on Aug 10, 2012 |
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Aug 10, 2012 04:51
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Do artifacts ever break? Is that an insanely good helmet, or a really bad one, because it can't actually protect the head, being made of a bad material?
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Aug 10, 2012 04:55
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I believe the only ways to lose an artifact is to throw it in the magama, mount doom style, dwarven bridge atomize it, or have it stolen by thieves. It's not a terrible for a an artifact by a long shot, considering all the rods and other stuff that we've gotten so far, but it's for from the optimal material.
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Aug 10, 2012 05:20
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Giant Flaming Death Turkey. Ugath works in mysterious ways. He now mocks Bronzestabbed. Giant Turkey claims my Daughter-In-Law. Two Generations of my family, gone. I do not let others near. I will bury her myself.  Others yell and scream like Overlord Leperflesh. Others attack those within Brozestabbed... even my poor Zaodai. Others sit in Great Hall and will not move like Overlord Zapdos. Bronzestabbed breaks those inside it. I will not be broken. What else is there to take? Turkeys do not fly. The Tower is Good. Do not stop building tower. Build to the Heavens, Overseer, away from Ugath and flaming Turkeys and Goblins. I want to see my Family again.
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Aug 10, 2012 05:21
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Having selflessly given her family's lives and her own to the defense of the fortress, Nomikos Berinal Dostob Kezat rests with Ugath in the deep. Her sacrifices were not in vain. Hail, Nomikos Earthenlulled the Clearings of Danger.
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Aug 10, 2012 05:54
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 Truly a helm for the bravest among us.
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Aug 10, 2012 06:05
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Anchors posted:I believe the only ways to lose an artifact is to throw it in the magama, mount doom style, dwarven bridge atomize it, or have it stolen by thieves. It's not a terrible for a an artifact by a long shot, considering all the rods and other stuff that we've gotten so far, but it's for from the optimal material. Magma won't destroy an artifact, but dropping it in something bottomless (like a Glowing Pit or volcano) will "lose" it. An artifact ring created by Sauron has been lost! Sauron is throwing a tantrum! Sauron destroys a Barad-dur! Sauron collides with an obstacle! Sauron is struck down! All it needs is for the "The One Ring" to be short for "Paltryflanked, The One Ring of Disputed Fickleness".
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Aug 10, 2012 06:19
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Ralath Thunenzuden Grandfather, I call out to you in the darkness. Can you hear? We your children have endured much, have suffered much, and we cry out for rest. I know that your way is to find strength by tearing away that which is weak, but we have lost too much. Is it your will that our home should fall after so short a time? Have our brothers and sisters faced and defeated one of those you shaped at the dawn of the world. Is that not enough? Have we not proved our worthiness? I came here to find a new life, but all that I had, I have lost. My friends, who made the long journey here with me. She who I have cherished, and all the days we might have spent together. Even the stone has been taken from me; in its place cold bronze and well-crafted cat leather. Your will is hard, Grandfather, and I do not know if I can endure this shaping. Will I be the arm of the statue, or the gravel that is shorn away? I will do my best to bear it, and speak to strengthen my friends. I will not mourn for the dead, who have passed beyond our cares, but for we who must endure the long years without them. Guide their passage to the Great Halls, where they will wait until we may meet again.
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Aug 10, 2012 06:32
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Rawkking posted:
and overthefalls posted:
made me tear up.
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Aug 10, 2012 08:02
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Veryslightlymad posted:Do artifacts ever break? Is that an insanely good helmet, or a really bad one, because it can't actually protect the head, being made of a bad material? It's pretty bad, a notch or two below copper and silver in performance. I don't think the x3 artifact deflection multiplier helps much with this thing, but hey, commander hat!
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Aug 10, 2012 12:06
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I don't care how awful that helmet it, designate for the militia commander, permanently. 
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Aug 10, 2012 12:34
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Demiurge4 posted:I don't care how awful that helmet it, designate for the militia commander, permanently. scamtank has a boner for the commander 
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Aug 10, 2012 13:57
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Since I'm going to be a migrant in the next wave (and breathing a sigh of relief Kovest was dealt with beforehand...) I'm going to release a version of the game very soon. I'm sending out another test build today but after that I'll just fix and update it based on you guys playing it for real. canadwarf @ cutgar.net if you want to peek at it. I'm going to update it until the LP ends with extra bits based on what happens in the fort, too. EDIT - Will probably github it too so someone more talented than me can extend it if they want. mtrc fucked around with this message at 14:09 on Aug 10, 2012 |
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Aug 10, 2012 14:01
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I am Bad at Canadwarf 
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Aug 10, 2012 14:32
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Losing is fun! Or at least it will be once I've made enough updates. It is a bit on the difficult side right now though, and not the good kind. More tweaking! EDIT: Here's another screen with new HI-DEF GRAPHICS:  Of course I realise too late now that the real Bronzestabbed videogame would be a DF version of Oregon Trail charting the migrants' journey there. Talk about a missed opportunity.
mtrc fucked around with this message at 16:12 on Aug 10, 2012 |
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Aug 10, 2012 14:50
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FinalSin posted:a DF version of Oregon Trail charting the migrants' journey there  If someone made this game, I bet it should be easy to import a DF world map into it, select your starting point and your end point and let the game generate an unique route for you.
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Aug 10, 2012 17:10
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There's only one way out of the One Way Outs. I fully support Internet Kraken (or whoever becomes the leader of the 1WOs after his sudden but inevitable betrayal) being assigned Flashgullies. It can be Good Tradition.
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Aug 10, 2012 17:11
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FinalSin posted:Of course I realise too late now that the real Bronzestabbed videogame would be a DF version of Oregon Trail charting the migrants' journey there. Talk about a missed opportunity. Not totally sure why that's a spoiler, but ... I can picture Kilrudzat Trail now: It took some effort not to put something in about "peperony and chease" in there. Interestingly, for some reason, if I search Google Images for "oregon trail dwarf fortress", I get the infamous tombstone, linked to one of the later pages of Gemclod that did not have said image on it  OhCrap fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Aug 11, 2012 |
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Aug 10, 2012 17:29
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Demiurge4 posted:I don't care how awful that helmet it, designate for the militia commander, permanently. But I don't wanna die in a goofy hat. Seriously though, should be interesting to see what happens now that my guy can't duck out of every single combat his squad's assigned to.
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Aug 10, 2012 17:58
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I don't know what category to put this in. Is it "portrature" or, I guess "Maps, Landscapes, and Technical Drawings..." Also, guys, don't abuse spoiler tags, lest a mod strike thee down.
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Aug 10, 2012 19:40
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Just got caught up to this. I knew my Dwarf was doomed, but dying in glorious battle defending the fortress is a good death ! RedRansacker now sits in the halls of his ancestors!
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Aug 10, 2012 19:52
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Leperflesh posted:Also, guys, don't abuse spoiler tags, lest a mod strike thee down. Yeah, seriously, that's a lot of CIA paperwork up there. Also, Catadwarf is Calecovision tough... Oops, Canadwarf, Catadwarf is a totally different game.
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Aug 10, 2012 20:57
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Yeah, there was a good reason for spoilering it earlier but I cannot work out what that was now. Sorry, folks! Markus - That would be so good. Really tempting to try it.
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Aug 10, 2012 21:02
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TildeATH posted:Yeah, seriously, that's a lot of CIA paperwork up there. Katamari Dwarffortcy.
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Aug 10, 2012 21:11
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Leperflesh posted:I don't know what category to put this in. Is it "portrature" or, I guess "Maps, Landscapes, and Technical Drawings..." I have no idea either. Spoiler tags removed, thanks - just wasn't sure of the etiquette in that case.
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Aug 11, 2012 04:12
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Demiurge4 posted:I don't care how awful that helmet it, designate for the militia commander, permanently. Mortal Sword posted:But I don't wanna die in a goofy hat. Hmm, how about the Sheriff? That's mostly a ceremonial position anyway, and seems well suited to funny hats.
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Aug 11, 2012 05:33
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You know what would be great? If that one poster who wrote the prayers into the Gemclod thread would come here too. "Ugath, O Ugath..."
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Aug 11, 2012 09:39
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Ugath, O Ugath Spare us from the light It is a disease of sky and soul Ugath, O Ugath Spare us from disease It comes in the mornings and spreads as fire, leaving only the weak and deformed Ugath, O Ugath Spare us from deformity Let our warriors fight strong, let only enemies blood be spilt and let disease leave us untouched Ugath, O Ugath Spare us from yourself That we may not need to pray again
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Aug 11, 2012 13:24
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Rurik posted:You know what would be great? If that one poster who wrote the prayers into the Gemclod thread would come here too. "Ugath, O Ugath..." Those were probably my favorite part of the whole thing. They were especially good when read aloud.
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Aug 11, 2012 13:55
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Nettle Soup posted:Ugath, O Ugath I'm gonna go ahead and treat this as a fan entry, since it's pretty good. Linked!
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Aug 11, 2012 19:11
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 I assist Leperfish in detailing the new migrants, hoping honest work will cheer him up.  God damnit, he was still Very Unhappy when he finished the tantrum outside. You can probably double dip in cave adaptation unhappy thoughts by going out and into the light. Enzer & Bettik  A former butcher of Veileddoors, Enzer is the youngest daughter of Anela Cistine and married to Betik. Expressing interest in learning archery she is assigned to GNU Order to train alongside her mother.   Bettik, Enzer's husband, born and raised in Arrowblocked, moved to Veileddoors where he met Enzer.    Kerrhyphen & Bularin An experienced ranger and hunter who journeyed from Roastmansions to Shottome, where he met and married Bularin.      He is credited of five impressive kills in The Honest Hills, and will make a fine marksdwarf for our military.  Wife of Kerrhyphen and an apprentice engineer from Shottome. She is the eldest sister of Peas and Senae.    Lunnrais A young ranger from Pagedfigure. I have high hopes she will be just as much of a hero as her elder sister Willie Tomg was.    Tangents & FinalSin  A doctor from Shottome who wandered the wilds for five years to train her skill in arms before making the journey to Bronzestabbed. She is married to FinalSin and the surgeon Rurik is her cousin.    An apprentice ranger from Shottome, FinalSin is an uncle of the late Nomikos and Log082 and husband of Tangents. He brings a pet Goat Kid with him who he calls Zasit.   Ohtsam  A young farmer from the capital of Paintfamous and a niece of Jessant.   Wales Grey & Benagain  Wales Grey is an exceptionally skilled trapper from Gildroot, and Benagain grew up in Hametame before moving to Gildroot and marrying Wales.      Ton Ton & Maelin  A pair of farmers from Tomemoistened.      Ark & Astus  The parents of the hero Olesh have come to live in our fort! Ark is also the cousin of the fallen Ventor.        Jbz  An orphan with no known family, hailing from Paddlestab. The fortress has great need of a talented leatherworker for quivers, backpacks, and clothes.  Chaosfeather & Tehsid  Parents of Qword and the late RedRansacker, they lived in Tomemoistened before making the journey to Bronzestabbed. Tehsid spent his pre-marriage years in Hametame.       Wadayamean, Macha, and Chickenwing A family from Fairworks. Wadayamean grew up in Boardroars before marriage.          Finagle, Steelion, & Emong A family from Ripewhips. Finagle originated from Tradegranite.       Tildeath is Emong's nephew.    Nil Bastionhall & Yeol They came from Bookteacher, though Yeol spent seven years wandering the wilds before the journey to Bronzestabbed, during which period he managed to acquire his pet chick Kadol. Nil Bastionhall originated from Cobaltsieges before marrying Yeol in Bookteacher. They have lived an interesting life similar to that of mine and my husband but the couple are together again at last.        Problem Sleuth & Krushdhead Born in Mirrorgorged, Problem Sleuth joined Krushdhead in Tradegranite before making the journey to Bronzestabbed.        Maekrix Waere & Rawkking Maekrix was a potter in Arrowblocked before joining me at Ripewhips.        Maekrix, my more grounded half, was responsible for persuading me to move to the new settlement after a series of events in order "to settle down and live something somewhat resembling a Traditional life". Considering what Bronzestabbed actually is I am rather glad he did. He'll get used to my new position, I'm sure. Now I mus-Leperfish? Leperfish! Put down that tablet, we've spent hours writing th- 
Rawkking fucked around with this message at 04:24 on Aug 12, 2012 |
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Aug 12, 2012 02:50
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Rawkking posted:Now I mus-Leperfish? Leperfish! Put down that tablet, we've spent hours writing th- Cliffhanger updates are the best updates 
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Aug 12, 2012 02:54
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A lot of you asked for military positions that you probably will be getting (goodness knows we need the bodies). So don't fret if you currently lack military skills. I checked stats to make sure you were suitable for your requested job, but I didn't have time to assign anybody but Enzer to a squad due to having to take screenshots and crop photos for 29 dwarves  Still no guarantees though  Leperfish, on that note you may want to wait till the next update and those military assignments are posted before updating the dwarfing list. Not a really big deal either way though. Rawkking fucked around with this message at 03:01 on Aug 12, 2012 |
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Aug 12, 2012 02:54
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Let's see here, I've got poor focus, poor spatial senses, very bad intuition and lousy intellect. I also think that intellectual pursuits are a waste of energy. And I'm a goddamn surgeon.
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Aug 12, 2012 03:18
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Dude, you don't have to timg/link every single image. If it's less than 1024 pixels wide you can probably get away with not timging it. Great update otherwise.
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Aug 12, 2012 03:19
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Brannock posted:Dude, you don't have to timg/link every single image. If it's less than 1024 pixels wide you can probably get away with not timging it. I was about to argue something, but (on my 4:3 monitor, at least) the table is exactly that many pixels wide. This man is right. timg is the most baller option for when you're capturing full screen action, but most of those are very nicely cropped as is.
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Aug 12, 2012 03:31
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My rationale for [timg]ing literally eveything was that migrant updates are supposed to be optional stuff that people can scroll through and click on dwarves they find interesting. Doesn't really work if you can't tell what's up with a particular dwarf at a glance with even the very first skills screenshot [timg]'d though. Interested in a bit more feedback before I make any changes, currently thinking I un-timg the first screenshot of every dwarf as noted above. Edit: Actually made the changes, if anyone has an issue with it feel free to debate. Rawkking fucked around with this message at 03:49 on Aug 12, 2012 |
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Aug 12, 2012 03:41
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Rawkking posted:Edit: Actually made the changes, if anyone has an issue with it feel free to debate. I promise to hate it no matter what you do. 
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