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As a fisherdwarf, Qword petitions all overseers to make frequent use of burrows, because he is too pretty and too young to die (yet).
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Jul 19, 2012 00:29
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I created a fishing zone and made it the only allowed fishing place, around a pond one level up and fairly near to the main entrance. So, the only time anyone actually went to the stream during my year, was when they wanted to drink water (which I immediately fixed with a restricted water zone around that same fishing pond). That means the only way a dwarf will try to cross the river is if he's hunting, or ordered to go there, since dwarves on break never stray that far from the entrance. Of course, later overseers may well have altered my standing orders.
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Jul 19, 2012 00:58
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What's with all the spider icons?!
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Jul 19, 2012 01:09
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Maelin posted:I started reading the update in Mordin Solus' voice and now I can't stop ...so goddamn glad you said that, because now I can explain why it sounded so familiar in my head. 
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Jul 19, 2012 04:18
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 From the Private Overseer Files of OhCrap MountainMist, 237, Bronzestabbed 3rd Opal 277 I do not think that JimmyTheD can be Water Necromancer. Water Necromancer would not flee from Goblin. Water Necromancer would cuddle Goblin. Water Necromancer would hold hands and skip with Goblin while They raise water and make Murk and do Bad Weasels. JimmyTheD is a Parent and does not deliberately Die while his Baby is young. JimmyTheD is a Good Parent. JimmyTheD is not a Bad Dwarf. JimmyTheD is not a Water Necromancer. I see this now. I decide to Inform. "HEY JIMMYD!" He blanched and turned for Run. I bade him Heed me and he Heeded. I explain that He made Mistakes but does not Necromance Water and is Good at Boing. He seems relieved when I finish and give leave for continue planned Blanch and Run. It is good to see committment to speed around fortress, so we can catch Goblin next time. A Good Overseer allows Wisdom to grow and Shares with others. Dwarfs make clamour for Bridge River. I would do Bridge before Murk and Bad Weasel and Ogress. Now I do not do Bridge. But I listen to all and decide for sake of Last Hope. Militia commander Bad Munki and Militia captain Internet Kraken explain they do not Fear Murk and Bad Weasel and Ogress. They advise that Lever and Traps are good for Bridge. They say that Bridge would help Good Dwarfs and Caravans and Weasels to flee Murks and Bad Weasels and Ogress. I nod. I do not know if Bridge can be Bad Bridge from Murk. But I must show Wisdom. Murk may do Bad Sand or Bad Wood but I do not think it will do Bad Stone. By order of Overseer, Dwarfs to do Bridge that can Raise before Ogress and Bad Weasel. Bridge to be Stone so Murk does not do Bad Bridge. Rare Ship has Sickness as Informed by Leperfish and Sankis. Beloved Husband and I have Seen. Goblins and elfs and humans collude against Dwarf and take jobs and breed. Good Dwarfs become Bad Dwarfs. Bad Dwarfs become Worse. Sankis knows of what we Saw but we record also here for posterity. In 218 dwarf MinorRed Palacebuck was born in Mirrorgorged.He was only son of Rigoth Pathcobalt and Inkytaught. In 219 dwarf OhCrap Mountainmist was born in Pagetin. She was only daughter of Atis Scribeddiamond and Deler cudgelshoot. In 220, Bad Parent Atis Scribeddiamond died of old age. In 220, Bad Parent Deler Cudgelshoot died of old age. In 222, Bad Dwarf Goden Actorb settled in Pagetin. In 223, Bad Dwarf Goden Actorb became a wood burner in Pagetin. In 223, Bad Dwarf Goden Actorb aroused general suspicion in Pagetin after a murder. In 223, Bad Dwarf Goden Actorb stopped being a wood burner in Pagetin. In 225, elf Obok Standardpeaceful became a fish dissector in Pagetin. In 225, goblin Besmaer Channeldiamond became a milker in Pagetin. In 225, elf Fath Lizardwound became a miner in Pagetin. In 229, human Ustuth Steelscales became a fishery worker in Pagetin. In 229, human Ducim Oraclemine became a metalcrafter in Pagetin. In 230, elf Kumil Yorhames became a farmer in Pagetin. In 230, elf Momuz Amazefountain became a fishery worker in Pagetin. In 230, goblin Inod Goldpassionate became a ranger in Pagetin. In 230, human Tosid Crazybell became a engineer in Pagetin. In 230, goblin Etur Granitenight became a clerk in Pagetin. In 230, human Minkot Ramgates became a tanner in Pagetin. In 230, elf Tulon Bouldersystem became a blacksmith in Pagetin. In 230, dwarf MinorRed Palacebuck became a jeweler in Mirrorgorged. In 231, dwarf OhCrap Mountainmist became a fishery worker in Pagetin. In 232, goblin Besmar Channeldiamond began scouting area around Pagetin. In 232, goblin Sarvesh Revererock became a farmer in Pagetin. In 233, goblin Sarvesh Revererock gave up being a farmer to become a fishery worker in Pagetin. In 233, dwarf OhCrap Mountainmist stopped being a fishery worker in Pagetin. In 233, dwarf OhCrap Mountainmist married Minorred Palacebuck. In 233 dwarf OhCrap Mountainmist settled in Mirrorgorged. In 233, dwarf Ohcrap Mountainmist became a soap maker in Mirrorgorged. In midautumn of 233, Bad Dwarf Feb Strangerhandles profaned Convent of Poking in Flaggrooved. In midspring of 234, Bad Dwarf Feb Strangerhandles devoured a cavy sow of Creation of Slaughter in Mirrorgorged. In midspring of 234, Bad Dwarf Feb Strangerhandles devoured a ram of Creation of Slaughter in Mirrorgorged. In 234, dwarf OhCrap Mountainmist began wandering wilds. In midautumn of 237, dwarf OhCrap Mountainmist left Creation of Slaughter. In midautumn of 237, dwarf OhCrap Mountainmist left Frothy Faith. In midautumn of 237, dwarf OhCrap Mountainmist settled in Bronzestabbed. In midautumn of 237, dwarf OhCrap Mountainmist became a member of Noble Work. In midautumn of 237, dwarf MinorRed Palacebuck left Creation of Slaughter. In midautumn of 237, dwarf MinorRed Palacebuck settled in Bronzestabbed. In midautumn of 237, dwarf MinorRed became a member of Noble Work. I do not know if Murk is Sickness. I do not know how to fight Murk. I must show Wisdom. I must do Best duty for Last Hope. OhCrap fucked around with this message at 05:01 on Jul 19, 2012 |
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Jul 19, 2012 04:49
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I'm reading these updates as Minsc and it's glorious. Excellent work.
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Jul 19, 2012 04:59
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Cog Smoothlances is such a hilarious name, like some sort of gangster meets porn star. Really loving the content + frequency of the updates
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Jul 19, 2012 05:28
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OhCrap posted:By order of Overseer, Dwarfs to do Bridge that can Raise before Ogress and Bad Weasel. Bridge to be Stone so Murk does not do Bad Bridge. For whatever reason this is the first thing that popped into my head when I saw that sentence.  (sorry about how lazy I got on this doodle)
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Jul 19, 2012 05:46
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timetrippad posted:I'm reading these updates as Minsc and it's glorious. Excellent work. This seriously contests my Rorschach image now. Didn't we have hamsters in the fort or am I confusing things?
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Jul 19, 2012 05:47
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Juc66 posted:For whatever reason this is the first thing that popped into my head when I saw that sentence. Is that weasel smoking? That is one bad weasel.
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Jul 19, 2012 05:59
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Valiantman posted:This seriously contests my Rorschach image now. Didn't we have hamsters in the fort or am I confusing things? We did. The cats were killing hamsters in the food stockpile and Markus, who detests hamsters, had to haul one to the refuse pile. quote:In 233, goblin Sarvesh Revererock gave up being a farmer to become a fishery worker in Pagetin. They took er jeeerbs!! 
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Jul 19, 2012 06:22
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OhCrap posted:He seems relieved when I finish and give leave for continue planned Blanch and Run. This is where I lost it.
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Jul 19, 2012 10:23
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Leperflesh posted:We did. The cats were killing hamsters in the food stockpile and Markus, who detests hamsters, had to haul one to the refuse pile. At least they weren't guinea pigs.
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Jul 19, 2012 10:23
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Three-Phase posted:At least they weren't guinea pigs. Nice. Subtle  Also: It looks in, bites down .. and then saunters away. 
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Jul 19, 2012 11:46
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OhCrap posted:Nice. Subtle Bad to the cat bone toy boat, baby. I've just read through this entire thing and I'm loving it. All the overseers and journal writers are doing a fantastic job.
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Jul 19, 2012 12:23
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From the Overseer Diary of OhCrap Mountainmist, 237, Bronzestabbed 4th Opal 277 New dormitory is Designated.  Ogress can not be Seen over River. Bridge that can Raise is Ordered.  Progress continues on Reservoir. I do not moan of slow working.  Preparations are made for a Room of Justice. It will be at Entrance to Bronzestabbed so Bad Dwarfs can Redeem by guarding from Bad Weasels.  I do not forget that GNU Sheriff in Town also required chains and cages for Personal Use. I do not question.  7th Opal 277 Gnu Sheriff in Town shouts of Goblin! TO ARMS!  Dogs of War pursue.  RUN! I poo poo TRAINS! RUN!  Goblin has Fast Running.  Goblin will Escape. Next time, Goblin!  11th Opal 277 Gnu Sheriff in Town is Seen standing in Quarters and looking at Cage and Chain. I think She Contents.  12th Opal 277 Why does yon river look Lumpy?  14th Opal 277 Much Lumpy Water is seen. It is Lumpy and Hard.  Leperfish says it is called Ice. I nod. I must show Wisdom. 15th Opal 277  LOG082 WALKS ON LUMPY WATER ICE!  He grabs Bad Weasel guts and runs back to Fortress. I am glad Ogress is not Seen at River. Can Ogress walk on lumpy water Ice? Why do we need Bad Weasel guts? 18th Opal 277 Vim Fuego is seen at Still procuring Booze. Left cheek still appears fractured, but I am glad he is up from Rest.  Lumpy water Ice has gone! Was it because Murk or Bad Weasel guts? I do not know. Bad Weasel guts removed by Log082 and then Lumpy Water Ice is not Seen.  22nd Opal 237 At last Soap can be made for there is Sufficient lye.  Vox Nihili celebrates Soapmaking!  I order fresh Reindeer Tripe Roast for party and make Tallow soap.  24th Opal 237 Saoritficis does Parent!  Welcome to Bronzestabbed, Improbable Lobster Cyclonepaint, Son of Saoritficis Sensepaddled and John Freeman Testflag.  26th Opal 237 Idles does Parent!  Welcome to Bronzestabbed, Male Man Tradebalds, daughter of Idles Bronzerule and RedRansacker Brassdrummed.  Vim Fuego does labor at New dormitory.  Atmok Ik does labor at Bridge River.  28th Opal 237 Geri Khan does Parent!  Welcome to Bronzestabbed, Acallapani Paddledrises, son of Geri Khan Rocklure and Magrov Pickzeals.  NO GERI KHAN BABIES DO NOT MAKE GOOD BOOZE. HEED! HEED! 
OhCrap fucked around with this message at 03:20 on Jul 20, 2012 |
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Jul 19, 2012 13:53
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OhCrap posted:NO GERI KHAN BABIES DO NOT MAKE GOOD BOOZE. HEED! HEED! It's a baby-dropping joke. What more do you want?
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Jul 19, 2012 14:10
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Colon V posted:I've always imagined these as the parent grabbing the booze barrel in both hands, then realizing that they're not holding their infant any more. OhCrap Mountainmist: "Geri Khan Rocklure does not Accident." 
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Jul 19, 2012 14:20
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OhCrap posted:OhCrap Mountainmist: "Geri Khan Rocklure does not Accident."
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Jul 19, 2012 14:37
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OhCrap posted:NO GERI KHAN BABIES DO NOT MAKE GOOD BOOZE. HEED! HEED! I love the way OhCrap is writing his Dwarfatar. I get this image in my head of a little dwarfess standing in the corner jumping up and down screaming 'HEED! HEED!' while everyone ignores her. Someone needs to draw this.
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Jul 19, 2012 15:28
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Catching up on updates and I'm almost in tears from laughter. Loving the (Oh)Crap out of this!
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Jul 19, 2012 15:41
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From the Overseer Diary of OhCrap Mountainmist, 237, Bronzestabbed 3rd Obsidian 237 Dormitory is still belabored, but scamtank is given first bed.  scamtank Petition will be pleased for much malachite may be seen near scamtank bed.  4th Obsidian 237 I do not Know Falgund was Fecund but she does Parent!  Welcome to Bronzestabbed, TildeATH Tombscounsel, son of Falgund Paintedbeauty and Qword Onslaughttombs.  6th Obsidian 237 DashingGentleman does strange mood.  DashingGentleman does craft! He draws pictures of trees, cloth, leather, and gems. I think we have most but I order all to be gathered.  8th Obsidian 237 Militia dwarfs Nomikos and Haardrada chase Kangaroo Buck to help do Leather. It is good to help Fast Running too.  9th Obsidian 237 Nomikos does Battle with Kangaroo! It is very one-sided and soon Kangaroo dead.  Meanwhile RedRansacker chases Kangaroo Doe!  10th Obsidian 237 RedRansacker catches Kangaroo and deads with one hit!  11th Obsidian 237 DashingGentleman is Seen gathering Logs and Kangaroo Leather and Cave Spider Silk cloth!  12th Obsidian 237 KOBOLD THIEF AT TRADING DEPOT! GET HIM DOGS OF WAR!  He was a Good Dog   13th Obsidian 237 Friend of Good Dog chases Kobold for do revenge. But Kobold is Fast Running and will Escape.  DashingGentleman gathers Gems of Milk Quartz and Eagle Leather.  15th Obsidian 237 DashingGentleman: "I AM BEGINNING A MYSTERIOUS CONSTRUCTION!"  16th Obsidian 237 Peas does labor at Bridge River.  18th Obsidian 237 DashingGentleman: "LOOK AT MY SCEPTER!"  BEHOLD CUNNINGRAZOR  20th Obsidian 237 Peas reports of Labor at Bridge River. It has Design. It has Materials. It now only requires Masonry.  23rd Obsidian 237 Bridge is Complete and needs Lever for Raise.  I order Lever made by JimmyTheD Noted for Bridge Raise.  25th Obsidian 237 New Dormitory nearly completed! Beds need Order.  1st Granite 238 Spring does spring. 
OhCrap fucked around with this message at 03:20 on Jul 20, 2012 |
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Jul 19, 2012 16:10
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Pickled Tink posted:I habitually mod the init files to inflate the pathing costs of traffic designations Why? Unless something has changed, you can inflate it from within the game itself. I guess it makes sense to mod the files once to change the default for all future fortresses, but the word 'habitually' implies you've done it often enough for it to be a habit... Which ruins the point.
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Jul 19, 2012 16:38
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That scepter isn't half bad! It's just a finished good, right, we can't use it for anything? I'd love to have the Hammerer cave heads in with it.
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Jul 19, 2012 16:48
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drat, these Kobolds are getting brave and cunning. Not getting very far, but that isn't stopping them at all.
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Jul 19, 2012 16:51
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aerion111 posted:Why? I also have seen suggestions that raising the pathing costs can effectively reduce FPS. It also doesn't really accomplish much. The only guaranteed way is to wall it off, burrow the dwarfs, or render it otherwise inaccessible. In the case of Bronzestabbed, we've been lucky that there has been little that a dwarf wants on the other side. Leperfish has given some very good reasons why there hasn't really been a need. As to burrows ... OhCrap Mountainmist: "Not enough Bunnies for do Burrows."
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Jul 19, 2012 17:03
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FinalSin posted:That scepter isn't half bad! It's just a finished good, right, we can't use it for anything? I'd love to have the Hammerer cave heads in with it. Worth 9600, so it's an improvement. It is useless, sadly.
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Jul 19, 2012 17:03
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OhCrap posted:Worth 9600, so it's an improvement. It is useless, sadly. The reigning overseer's throne room could use a few pedestals.
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Jul 19, 2012 17:10
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Loving the updates. Overseers from down under forever: it seems like there's always an update before I go to bed, and one when I wake up, too!
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Jul 19, 2012 17:10
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OhCrap posted:I order Lever made by JimmyTheD Noted for Bridge Raise. He's a Bridge Necromancer!
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Jul 19, 2012 17:46
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If you Support Good Overseer, Necromance Hand.
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Jul 19, 2012 17:48
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Man, that was some thief. Practically oneshotting the dog with a headshot?
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Jul 19, 2012 17:50
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Welcome to Bronestabbed baby TildeATH. Kinda hope he gets overseer next just to see a baby run the fortress.
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Jul 19, 2012 18:14
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Speaking of demon rats, back before Peter Jackson made the Lord of the Rings he actually produced documentaries. One of his works is the story of the Sumaria Rat-Monkey and what happens when it is introduced to a non-native habitat, New Zealand. It's worth a look and is on netflix. It's called "Dead Alive". 
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Jul 19, 2012 18:24
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So, today at work I had a somewhat traumatizing experience when I walked in on a co-worker in what I suspect, but cannot be certain, was mid-wank. When I told my wife about this she used "beating the weasel" as a euphemism, causing us both to look at each other and go "Bad Weasel!" I blame this LP, but that is okay.
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Jul 19, 2012 20:31
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My dwarf is a female infant. Success beyond my wildest dreams.
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Jul 19, 2012 20:33
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At least you have a pulse. That's more than I can claim.
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Jul 19, 2012 21:38
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 The Journal of Qword, Chirurgeon Entry 2 (Obsidian of 237) Entry 1 Bronzestabbed is not the paradise I hoped it would be. I imagined an impressive fortress, efficient in its dedication to the cause, a splendid place with tarred goblin heads piked outside and an army of proud dwarves within. Instead, I have found a dirt hole filled with useless barely-skilled laborers. Worst of all are the cultists with their incense-burning and talisman-shaking. I have no interest in their mysticism. I am a dwarf of medicine, a chirurgeon. Apotropaism does not cure wounds, amputation does. I have half a mind to saw off the Ugath-infected limbs of this fortress before they fester. On the topic of chirurgery, the medical accommodations in Bronzestabbed are very poor. Chief Medical Dwarf Markus is a calculating fellow. It pleases me to talk with him. He is young like me and has dedication like me. I also find him very handsome, but that is another matter. (I have been married to Falgund for too long if I am starting to find pleasure in the faces of men.) Due to lack of medical equipment, I have been assigned fishing duties. It angers me to be relegated to such a common job. To be called ‘Fisherdwarf’ is an insult to my years of medical training! I regret intimating to the overseer that fishing is a hobby of mine. Martial arts is also a hobby of mine, but I did not tell overseer, so he did not make me a soldier, he made me a fisher. Fighting goblins would be a better life than fighting fish. I am beginning to loathe my work, especially as I see the foulness that lurks outside. My life is not worth a few meals of pond turtles. Already I have watched a dwarf die. He deserved it, but I do not. POSTSCRIPT: Falgund has given birth to a boy. I had no idea she was gestating. Her belly is always fat like that. I take great care to avoid coupling with her when she is in oestrus for this very reason. Nevertheless, I am pleased with our offspring. He is muscular and well-bearded. He has his father’s hair. He has his mother’s eyes, but that is no matter. They can be replaced. I must ask Markus about eye chirurgery later. Perhaps that dead infant’s eyes haven’t rotted yet. I look forward to showing my son, Tildeath, how to be a good warrior. He will slay many goblins, I just know it. His larval stage will be over soon. 
Qwo fucked around with this message at 00:05 on Jul 23, 2012 |
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Jul 19, 2012 22:15
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Qwo posted:Chief Medical Dwarf Markus is a calculating fellow. It pleases me to talk with him. He is young like me and has dedication like me. I also find him very handsome, but that is another matter. (I have been married to Falgund for too long if I am starting to find pleasure in the faces of men.) Well hello there.  I'm actually 52, though. But I guess it can be considered young for a dwarf.
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Jul 19, 2012 22:35
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This overseer is awesome as all hell, great updates. My dwarf was worth the wait. Cook turned hammerer married to the Sheriff? Awesome.
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Jul 19, 2012 22:37
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