Plea to Yahoo: Shut Up and Sell Yourself Already

We interrupt our programming for a brief editorial…

Am I the only one who dreads waking up each day to see what silly new banter, war cry, or promise has been put forward in the neverending saga of Yahoo’s downward spiral?

The latest news today, in case you’re the one person who hasn’t heard it, is that Yahoo and Carl Icahn have “settled” their ongoing battle — agreeing to leave most of Yahoo’s existing board on the ballot for re-election, create one new additional board spot for Icahn, and create another two new additional board spots for people from Icahn’s suggested list.

While one might hope this will mean we won’t have to hear anything more about this nonsense for a while, it probably doesn’t. There’ll be plenty more maneuvers as Icahn now dukes it out with Yang and the other Yahoos from the inside, instead of from his previous position as simple shareholder. Will Microsoft or won’t they? Are talks back on or aren’t they? Will the company split up its assets? Will Brenda ever get back together with Dylan? Ah, the endless questions…

So here’s my proposal: No more public PR battles, no more using the media as puppets to spread carefully crafted messages (think about every piddly little letter each side has sent back and forth — is it anything more?). For the love of all things sacred, sell the friggin’ company and shut up already.

Granted, today’s announcement was one of the more significant in the big picture of everything we’ve heard over the past months — but following the sea of insignificant noise coming from all sides of this story, I for one am oversaturated and simply can’t sop up any more of the Yahoo water. It would be surprisingly refreshing if we could go without hearing another single yelp about Yahoo until there’s actually an acquisition. I think I can safely say, at the very least, that you won’t see much more about the soap opera drama on this site until there is a legitimate development — such as a sale. Consider the puppet strings cut.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming…