Woman Sues Over Delivery of Chocolate Penis With 'No Redeeming Qualities'

A woman is suing a novelty gift company for sending a life-size dick-shaped chocolate to her door, citing "fear, nervousness, anxiety, worry, and indignity” at receiving the phallic confection on her doorstep.

As reported by Courthouse News, the complaint, filed by Linda Parks in Ventura County, California on Tuesday, details the emotional distress Parks received when she got an unexpected chocolate dick delivery from the company Dick at Your Door, owned by Rain Parade LLC. Dick at Your Door sells a range of prank items beyond the choco-dongs: They also offer chocolate buttholes with the message “live fast eat ass” printed on the box, a “bag of dicks” gummies, and glitter bombs.

The complaint claims the five inch chocolate phallus has “no redeeming social qualities, whatsoever.” She’s suing for damages, including psychological counseling, lost wages, and cost of the suit.

Parks isn’t just a resident of Ventura County, but a local politician, acting as its supervisor. She received the dick in 2021, according to VCReporter; at the time, an effort to recall her position as supervisor was underway, because she voted in favor of suing businesses that refused to comply with state and county health regulations to slow the spread of Covid-19, such as indoor mask wearing. The recall effort failed.

“This is the level of gutter politics going on in this town,” Parks told VCReporter at the time. A note in the box said “Enjoy your early retirement... You deserve it.”

“The actions of defendants were outrageous, intentional and malicious, and done with reckless disregard of the fact that they would certainly cause plaintiff to suffer severe and emotional physical distress,” the complaint states. Parks claims to have suffered headaches, fear, nervousness, anxiety, worry, and indignity because of the mysterious chocolate phallus.

The Dick at Your Door FAQ page says that it will “ship everything with complete discretion,” and that it “won’t give your information out, unless you do something illegal (don’t do that) or involved in a legal lawsuit (sexual harassment, stalking, etc) and we are required by law.”

This isn’t the first time Dick at Your Door has been sued by someone on the receiving end of their candies. In 2016, a human resources director at a Dallas-based technology company sued Dick at Your Door for the name, telephone number, and address of the person who anonymously sent her a bag of dicks.

There are lots of companies that will send anonymous prank candies in the shape of genitalia to anyone you want to piss off. Last year, West St. Paul, Minnesota City Council member Dick Vitelli received an anonymous bag of candy dicks from EataBagofDicks.com. “I’ll enjoy these very much... kiss my ass,” he said during a council meeting.

Some people order chocolate dicks on purpose, for their own enjoyment, because they consider chocolate to be delicious and penises to be fun. Shocking, I know! 

Neither Dick at Your Door nor Parks' attorney Richard Francis immediately responded to a request for comment.