Chapter Text
"Inhale slowly. Exhale slowly." Beck continued to repeat to herself as she did just that. She stared at herself the tiny trailer mirror. "Today is your day, no one can take that from you." She muttered to herself, locking eyes with the familiar woman in the mirror. Her hands began to fiddle with the top button on her shirt. "Open? Closed?" She thought as she continued to fiddle. She decided on leaving the top button undone, and she adjusted her brazier. She ran her fingers through her thick black pixie cut and attempted to give her hair volume. Her hair fell flat down onto her head. She huffed snd adjusted her bra once more.
There was a knock on the trailer door.
"Out of the wagon in 10, rolling your scene in 30."
A male voice bellowed from the outside of the trailer before stomping away.
Beck took her last few deep breaths before opening the trailer door. The sound of footsteps and chatter flooded her ears at once, a bit overwhelming with her current state. She walked towards the film set when and sat down in the chair labeled "Blacklist. Beck." It sat directly next to the chair for Hisham.
Beck sat quietly, fidgeting her fingers to herself, desperate to make a pass for her phone to ease the awkwardness she felt. Hisham walked towards Beck with a water bottle in hand, "drink?" He asked causally. "Oh no thank you, Dembe." She responded polite. Hisham laughed, "you can call me Hisham" he replied. Beck's face rushed with red as she realized she called him by his "on screen name." "I'm so sorry!" She said shakily. "No no, it's fine. I think it's hilarious, that's what most people know me by." He sat down, opened the bottle and took a gulp. "Are you working on anything else or is this your only project right now?" Hisham Tawiq asked Beck. "This is actually my first and only so far.." Beck slowly replied. "Really?" He paused. "Wow. This is some show off get your feet off the ground." He continued. "What made you audition for this role."
"I saw myself in the show every time I watched it." Beck lied.
"You know, that's actually a good way of thinking." Hisham replied, he raised his hand and pointed at Beck, as if he was about to give an inspiring Dembe monologue when he was interrupted.
"Can you make sure this reads correctly? I leap over to the next roof?" A man shoves a script in front of Hisham's face. "They must think I'm back in my twenties, who the hell wrote that in." The man continued his small rant. He took tall over Hisham sitting stature. Standing at 5'10, this man looked down at Hisham while flailing the script in one hand, and adjusting his tie with the other. He peers just under the brim of his hat and his sea green/blue eyes met Beck's umber eyes. He moved his jaw spontaneously a bit as if thinking on what to say. "Joey?" He asked. Beck tilted her head in confusion for a brief second before she realized what he meant. "Yes hi! I'm Rebecca, I play Joey Harlow...or well, will be playing Joey Harlow...hi." She tripped over her words a bit.
James Spader looked at her and chuckled to himself as his tongue crept towards his teeth and receded back. He was the reason why she auditioned for The Blacklist. She was in love with him but he was a celebrity and in a relationship. The only way to meet him would be to work with him so that's what she did. She aimed for that goal and set herself up to achieve it.
James dropped the script into Hisham's lap and adjusted his hat with both hands. He then reached his right hand out to shake Beck's. "James Spader." He introduced himself. "Hi, I'm Beck." She shook his hand back with a large smile which quickly faded as she realized she introduced herself twice to him. He grabbed the script from Hisham's lap and turned around. "I'm going to speak with Jon regarding this, I'm 62 for fucks sake." He said walking away, his overcoat blew a bit in the wind but the material it was made of proved too heavy for it to get any real air time.
"He can get intense at times." Hisham said laughing as he took another sip of water. "He's good people though." He continued.
"Yeah I totally understand, he's a great actor." Beck responded, trying to be as platonic to the situation as possible, the redness still painted on her face. "That he is." Hisham said.
A woman sprinted by quickly before stopping and backtracking towards Beck. "Mmm I think no top button is a good look actually, let's keep it that way." She said. Beck nodded, unsure of what to say as the woman sprinted away again. "Dana is good people too. She does my hair every day." Hisham said laughing as he ran his hand around his bald head. Beck smiled and chuckled back. Dana was the hair and dressing coordinator on the show.
"Calling up, Raymond, Harold, Dembe and Joey are discussing work at the post office, Panabaker walks in and interrupts them, let's run it!" One of the assistant directors calls out as he scrambles through the script in his hand. He didn't even bother looking up. Beck & Hisham walk over the the set and take their spots on their markers. James strolls in with Harry Lennix chuckling about a scene they did a few weeks back. James' smile fades to seriousness as he prepares himself for the scene. "ACTION."
Beck blinked when the word is called on the set, everything went quiet as she looked up at a one of the monitors on set. The other 3 we're watching it run on a continuous loop, they appeared studious. Beck looked at the monitor, then back at the three men. "CUT. Can we all at least appear like we know we're working on an FBI task force?" The director said sarcastically, not calling out Beck directly but making it clear she wasn't performing properly. She felt unprepared. She was given a script and words to memorize but never given point by point direction. "I guess acting has a form of improv...I knew I should've taken improv..." Beck began thinking to herself before snapping out of her thoughts by the shouting of "ACTION." Her eyes fluttered a bit at the word and she began intently looking at the monitor and then down at Red. Her role on the Blacklist was be Red's second hand next to Weecha. Although in this episode, Weecha was finishing up occupational therapy that Red insist she do so Joey filled in as Red's partner for today. "Joey please make sure this letter gets to Ernesto before night, I need to make sure he has fully set his men on the right path by tomorrow morning." He said as he handed her an empty envelope.
Deirdre Lovejoy began strutting into the scene in her heels as she portrayed "Cynthia Panabaker." "You better not be trying to weasel you way into another deal with Lopez by warning him about us." Panabaker says to Raymond as she walks into the post office, overhearing his ask. Joey walks out stage right as Panabaker walks in. She keeps her head straight on, not acknowledging Cynthia's presence.
The scene continues for a bit and Joey is off screen for most of it. She then walks back into the scene empty handed and whispers something into Raymond's ear. Red props his black hat back onto this head and goes "well everyone I'm off now. You all are on a need to know basis so if I need you, then you will know." He winks as he adjusts his red tie into his navy blue vest. He walks off stage right as Joey follows. Harold and Dembe stand at the post office upset bud unsurprised by Red's continuous actions to undermine the task force but also assist their mission in catching blacklisters.
The scene ends.
Beck smiles, the first full take of a scene in her first real television show. She has performed in short films before but nothing even came close to the Blacklist. James peers over the producer's shoulders as he watches the scene end on the camera. He turns around and gives a friendly smile to Beck before walking off aimlessly. Beck smiles back and but her face switched back to emptiness, unsure if James saw her smile back at him. She walked towards the exit door and went outside for some air. The sun lit up her face and she closed her eyes for a moment as she felt the warmth. Her tan skin shined almost gold in the sunlight. She reached into her pocket and grabbed her phone so she wouldn't feel as alone. She looked around quickly to see if anyone was around when she spotted James at the corner of the building outside having a smoke by the dumpsters. He had no phone in hand, just smoking staring into the New York streets. Beck quickly put her phone back in her pocket and walked over quickly, yet trying to appear as if she was taking her time walking. "Don't come off weird." She kept repeating to herself in her head.
"Smoke break?" She said smiling as she approached him. She typically hated the idea of smoking but it was James Spader so, she didn't care. James exhaled some smoke and went "yeah, need one?" She shook her head and held her hand out denying a cigarette. "I've never smoked before, sorry" she said, still smiling like an overly happy golden retriever. James chuckled and said "good, it's a bad habit." He put the cigarette to his mouth again and looked out into the street then back at Beck. Beck was unsure of what to even say to James. He was a private man and she didn't want to pry but wanted to know everything about him. "So uh, did you get that jumping scene rewritten?" She asked awkwardly, now fidgeting with her hands. "Huh?" James blanked for a moment and continued, "oh yes." "Good." She replied, unsure of how to continue. "So uh, bet you're excited to have Weecha back next episode!" Beck said, with a closed smile. "Yeah it'll be good for Red I guess. Though as long as he has someone there who he trusts right?" He replied, still staring into the New York streets, watching as people passed the lot. "No yeah of course." Beck replied. Spader turned his head and looked at Beck momentarily. Beck looked down at his lips, then back up at his eyes unconsciously. She licked her lips subtly without noticing. James looked away seemingly unprovoked and put out his cigarette. "Well, I'm going back in, enjoy your break." He says with a sigh as he walks off back inside to the set.
"That's a wrap! Tomorrow, 6AM, no later." The director shouts out as the crew begin packing their items. Half of the actors from set are off changing back into their own clothing and passing off costumes to the clothing department. Beck was already dressed and ready to go home as her scenes were filmed earlier that day. She had the option to leave already but she wanted to stay for filming to see James act some more. She said hidden within all the chaos, she didn't want people to realize she stuck around for filming. She slipped through the back and walked to the parking lot and got into her car. She sat there for a minute, her heart pumping, imagining if James had fell for her today. "You're so unrealistic Beck, get a grip." She thought to herself as she put her car in reverse and became backing out of the lot.