Baby talk

Ways to talk to your child about topics that aren’t quite easy

Everyone wants their children to grow up in a safe and caring environment and become confident, happy individuals. There will be occasions when they need to speak with someone for guidance or assistance. There will also be instances in which you must explain something that may upset them. Everyone has been the recipient of a challenging talk. However, this does not make it easier when you must have one with your youngster.

“Today, children and the definition of childhood are transforming. Psychologists all over the world believe that the child can no longer be considered naïve and uncomprehending with subpar intelligence. The popular consensus is that children are curious, and more often than not, they will find out about truths that adults try to keep from them. It is therefore advisable that parents talk to them about complex subjects, instead of them getting information from friends or the internet,” advises Neha Jain, Author, MerlinWand children’s books. But how do you approach the subject without scaring your child or forcing things upon them? Here are some expert recommended ways to communicate easily with the little ones about complex subjects.

Choose a time and space keeping in mind the child’s comfort
These are anxiety-inducing conversations for children. Ensure that sufficient time is allotted and that the exchange takes place in an area where the youngster is acquainted and feels safe. Ideally, it should not be right before the child goes to sleep, especially if the child sleeps alone. This is due to the possibility that the child is weary and unable to concentrate. In addition, if the child is left alone shortly after an emotionally stressful conversation, they may become overwhelmed.

Be prepared with all the information
As a parent, one may be reluctant to acknowledge aspects of the topic that they are unfamiliar with. This is of utmost importance; it is crucial to have all pertinent information. It is also essential to consider the mode in which one intends to transmit the information. According to research, children under the age of 10 have a stronger connection with animals and attribute human characteristics to them. Therefore, while communicating with this age range, the use of animal figurines may be advantageous. It is essential not to speak in a manner that infantilizes preteens and teenagers. Always deliver information that is age-appropriate.

Do not dive right into it
A caregiver delivering bad news to a child may be anxious and want to “just get done with it.” However, it is important to keep in mind that the child has to be emotionally and intellectually prepared to receive and comprehend the news. It is a good idea to first find out what the child already knows about the topic at hand. Ask for permission and work the news into the conversation gradually, rather than diving right into it. This will help your child feel in control of the situation. Assure the child that all questions are welcome and that the child can end the conversation whenever they want.

Introduce the topic
You can introduce the issue at hand once you know the child’s basic level of knowledge on the topic and the child has demonstrated comfort in continuing the conversation. Begin by dispelling any myths that the child may have. Begin the dialogue in a non-threatening manner. With younger children, their favourite cartoon characters or soft toys can be utilised to construct a third-person story. This narrative can end by introducing the possibility of the event happening to them. With older children, a more direct approach is preferred.

Be ready to answer follow-up questions and assure them of their safety
It is critical to be ready to address follow-up questions. Do not ridicule the child for not grasping concepts. Let them know you’re here for them and will be happy to answer any questions they may have. Some experts agree it is beneficial to explain to the child why you believe the youngster needs to know about the topic. In some situations, it may be necessary to educate them on the actions that must be taken in the event of a mishap. Assure them that you will be there to protect them and that they will not have to face any difficulties alone.

Do not ‘talk down’ to the child
In such a situation, taking up the role of the more informed and in control adult may be tempting. However, this approach may prove to be counterproductive, especially with older children. Treat your child as a rational being who has the capacity to understand the information that you are putting out. Avoid the student lecturer technique of knowledge transfer. Get down on their level and attempt to encourage them to voice their point of view while remaining receptive to it, but avoid talking down to them.

Try to look beyond labels in the case of trauma
In cases where one needs to convey traumatic news to the child, they must be careful to not make the experience completely about the trauma. Understand that the child here is at the center stage. Convey to the child that it is okay to feel sad and that grief does not have a time limit. In other words, validate the emotions of the child.
In conclusion, it can be tough to talk to your child about difficult topics, but do not abandon the intent. At any point, when you feel like things have gotten out of hand or are emotionally overwhelming for you or the child, seek professional help.

-Kayalvizhi Arivalan, Femina