deep throat & deepthroating: a primer

I want the world to be a happy, harmonious place. It’s not, but I like to think I can help it to be in my own small way. In this spirit of world peace and in this season of giving, I’d like to share with you my small knowledge of how to deep-throat a cock. It may not cure cancer; it may not stop wars or end world hunger or disarm landmines. It may not even pay my rent, but I like to think that sharing my skills can help you and your lover to a happier 2006 and beyond.

Let me offer my gift to you: 9 Steps to Deep-Throating a Cock, Chelsea-Girl Style

1) An introduction: Deep-throating is a skill, like parallel parking or fire eating. Unlike either of those skills, however, you really can’t hurt yourself or any one else by deep-throating a cock. The thing to remember about deep-throating is that the worse thing that can happen is that you will puke.

Which, ok, puking is gross and it’s unpleasant, and it will ruin the mood, but puking is not the worse thing a human can experience. Remember that and you’re good to go.

I’m going to take your basic oral skills as a given. If you need tips on fellatio 101, I suggest you visit Steph, the Cunting Linguist who gives very good advice on giving great head in two parts (part 1 and part 2). What I want to give you is a tutorial strictly intended to help you go places you’ve never gone before, or more precisely to help your man go places he never has: down your throat.

2) Practice makes penetrating: Like any extreme sport, deep-throating is an activity you need to work up to. You can’t expect to heli-board the first time out, and you can’t expect to just open your mouth and let that cock slam down your throat cold. You will gag and it will be un-fun, and this whole experience is about you and your man having fun. Therefore, you need to understand that it will take a lot of practice and warming up on your part, but I assure you that it’s worth it and that your partner really won’t mind the time you take.

As some of my very wise readers said in comments to my previous post, this skill can take a while to learn. You need your lover to be patient with you. Remind him strenuously if he is not. Feel free to tell him to stick a dildo down his throat and see how it feels if he gives you the yummy-reduced flavor of a hard time. Remind him of this: patience is the virtue that will lead you happily down the path to the vice of face-fucking.

Deep-throating is a test of limits. You are willfully and mindfully dismantling a basic human physical function, the gag reflex. It is natural that as you learn this skill that you will feel discomfort, that your eyes will tear, that things will feel frustrating, especially if you’ve never really thought about mastering your gag reflex before. Therefore, you need to be patient with yourself too.

If you never learn, it’s no big. There are lots of fantastic ways to give your lover vast swaths of oral pleasure without him entering your throat. But it’s worth trying. I love deep-throating; it makes me hotter and wetter than anything…anything. I urge you to try it out, and as you do, to give yourself to find the pleasure in the discomfort.

3) Find the space within: Take a moment and think about your mouth and throat. Now pull the base of your tongue at the back of your throat down, as you would if you were about to yawn. Think about making a big, round cave at the back of your throat as you kind of retract the base of your tongue.

Think about how it feels as your tongue begins to move, how you feel your throat open up, until you can almost feel pressure in your ears. Do it over and over again.

This action, my friend, is how you control your gag reflex.  When you have an object in your mouth and it presses against your soft palate, the movable muscle fibers sheathed in mucous membranes responsible for cutting off passage to the nasal cavity while swallowing, your natural response is to gag. However, if you can learn to create this space at the back of your throat, you are in essence learning to control your gag reflex.

If you’re interested in learning how to accept your lover’s cock down the back of your throat, the very first thing you need to do is learn how to control these muscles. And that means learning how to find the space within your throat. Practice when you’re out of bed. Get accustomed to the feeling, get the muscle memory, and then when you’re in bed or on your knees, you’ll have it down.

You know, as it were.

4) The spit is it: When I’m giving head, I’ll begin by any variety of ways—licking the tip of the cock and slowly letting it enter my mouth, avoiding the tip entirely and teasing around the shaft, starting with the taint and working my way up—it really depends on what interests me at the moment. However, I always start deep-throating the same way because my throat, like other parts of my anatomy, needs copious lube to accommodate the length and breadth of my lover’s cock.

The good news is this: you can always count on your throat to make its own lube. It’s called spit. And as Jenna Jameson has said in her memoirs, when it comes to spit, your gag reflex is your best friend.

Our normal spit is wan, watery, pallid stuff. To deep-throat you need to find that good-quality, high-viscosity, ropy spit. And you will.

I do it by pressing my lover’s cock as far as it will just uncomfortably go in my mouth and resting there. I pause for 30-45 seconds, come up for air, lick and suck a little bit, and do it again. After a minute or so of this pressing, I get that really nice, thick, embarrassingly porn-starry spit.

The key to this spitty fount is the phrase “just uncomfortably go.” You want to feel a bit, just a bit, like you’re gagging. Your gagging here is a good thing because it creates that lover’s spit. If you’ve ever tried to fuck without proper lube, you know how futile and uncomfortable it is. Your throat, though naturally wet, is no exception to this dry rule. Take all the time you need to get those juices flowing.

No matter what you do, even if you never, ever get to deep-throat completely, this spit step is key because with this spit you can stroke your man with your hands as you suck. Moreover, creating this lubrication will help his cock slide in and out of your mouth with the most pleasurable friction for you both. If you learn nothing else, learn this trick: enter the cock, pause when slightly uncomfortable, let the spit flow, repeat.

5) Taking the plunge: Once I’ve gotten a nice pool of lubrication in my mouth, I’m ready to deep-throat. I should note that even when I’m playing by D/s rules, I make it known to my man that we will each have a much better time if he forces himself gently into my mouth. Once I’m warmed up, he can face fuck me until the cows come home (metaphorically. Literally, I’d find actual cows troubling), but he needs to respect the tender passage of my throat.

Hold the cock in your hand, and with your throat all warmed up by your high-viscosity spit, pull your tongue to the back of your throat to open it to him. Slowly, incrementally, guide him into your throat, thinking about pulling your tongue back and down.

If you feel comfy, pause and see how that feels. If you don’t, back off and try again when you feel like it. I find that when I’m ready, I can slide my man’s cock down the back of my throat and swallow around it, pulling him more deeply into my throat. I also find that at some point I can open my throat up even further and accommodate more of his phallus, usually until my nose is pressed against his pubic hair, or his testicles, depending on which direction I’m facing. But it takes time, every time, and I don’t rush it. (Unless I’m being face-fucked in a Dommy manner, and then it’s a different flavor of martini entirely.)

While I’m deep-throating, I imagine what my throat is doing. I concentrate on where the cock is in my mouth and throat, how my throat is adjusting to it, and how I can relax around it. I attribute this practice of visualization to my years of lifting weights and dancing—I feel like if I can see it, I can do it. Therefore, I try to be aware of what it is I’m doing with that cock down my throat, at least until the whole animalistic passion thing raises its shaggy head and then all cognitive process shuts down.

I would urge you to “see” it as you do it. Imagining what you’re doing with your throat will help give you a sense of control and a sense of power. Just remember that if you’re too uncomfortable, stop. If you’re having fun, rock on with your cocksucking, Honey; it’s all good.

6) Find the angle, Angel: Many women (and men) find it easiest to deep-throat by hanging their head off the bed and having the man stand in front of them, easing the cock into their throats. If it works for you, fine, but the real lesson here is that angle is everything. You can control the angle of the cock by holding it in your hand. I would suggest that until you’re entirely comfortable with the act, you take as much control as you need. Your man will be so deeply appreciative of your desire to accommodate him that he’ll let you take control, the remote, the contents of his wallet and the keys to his Chevy Malibu.

I can’t deep-throat every lover in every position. Some angles are just bad. And it depends a lot on the bend of my lover’s cock. Donny has a very straight cock with very little bend to it, which means that I’m best sucking him either on my back with a pillow under my head (which is awesome if he wants to fuck my face), or if I’m on top of him and can use my hand to push his cock into my throat.

Other, more bendy, lovers, I’ve found very good luck in being on all fours doggy-style in front of them as they kneeled before me. Still others worked best if they were standing. It really depends on the size, shape, configuration and angle of the dick to be sucked. Experiment. Find your best position.

Moreover, remember that even if you can’t deep-throat in the position you’re in, you are still giving your lover pleasure. Deep-throating is not the end-all and be-all in fellatio; it’s just one trick in your bag.

7) Don’t be a one-trick pony: Deep-throating is great; I love doing it. It makes me godessy wet, and it makes me satisfied in a workman-like kind of way. It does not, however, always bring my lovers to orgasm. It’s just one of the things I can do in bed. And that means don’t feel like just because you’ve learned to sword-swallow your lover’s dick you have to do it until he comes. A lot of time, once my throat has opened up, I use a hand/mouth combo where I stroke my hand in conjunction with my mouth down the shaft of my lover’s cock, sweeping my hand down the base of his dick and around his balls with each stroke. I may end the stroke with my nose buried in his pubic hair, but it’s not there for very long.

Add your throat to everything else you know and love about cock sucking. You don’t have to go hands-free, you don’t have to suck cock like a porn star, you don’t have to suck it like your mouth is drawing a golfball through a bendy straw. You just need to find things you like to do to your lover that your lover likes. Let yourself play.

Experiment and see what comes up.

8) C’mon, c’mon: And now the potentially bad news: if you’re not an aficionado of swallowing your lover’s spunk, you are at a distinct disadvantage. Personally, I’ve never been a spitter. I just don’t understand not swallowing, but if you don’t enjoy swallowing, perhaps you and your lover can find some signal when he’s ready to come, something, for the love of all things holy, that is not a tap on the head. Figure it out. You’re adults.

Now the good news: if you are deep-throating when your man comes, it’s super easy to swallow. It’s just there and it just goes down. It’s a no-brainer. In fact, the only trouble I’ve ever had with swallowing was with a shorter-dicked lover who would come and it would go up my nasal passages.

That was less fun. Take it from me; you don’t want ejaculate shooting out your nose.

Anyone else, though, it was as easy as swallowing hot jets of liquid pie. Just not as tasty. Which brings up a point: have your man eat pineapple. It really does work. Ginger is good; asparagus is not. Wine, scotch and bourbon can be good; beer is not. The jizz of soda drinkers tastes like the soda of choice. The jizz of vegetarians tastes like fields. Strawberries are nice, when in season.

In other words, taste-wise, planning is a good thing. On the other hand, if he’s far enough down the back of your throat, you won’t even know.

9) Talk it up: Go ahead, afterward you're done doing the voo-doo that you two do so well, have a blow-by-blow. Tell your lover what you were feeling. Let him lay cock-sucking laurels at your feet. Tell him what he did that worked—and didn’t work—for you. Let him sing your praises. Hug and kiss. Fuck. Whatever. Get close and enjoy, but be sure to include talk as part of that closeness

And drink some water.

And do it again.

Do let me know if you found this instructional primer helpful. Or let me know if you have questions. I’m here to help.

kissykiss,
chelsea girl
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Great, big sloppy thanks to Raschied Britannica, who used my tip jar to express appreciation. "Booga!" to you too, Raschied. And if the spirit moves you to tip, be reassured that it's safe, anonymous and legal.

Comments

[haretoday]

It is always my extreme pleasure to have very sexy moments mixed with lovely flavours of humour. I do believe this post ought to be well referenced in the coming holidays. Cheers!

[ravenna]

Darling, I hereby nominate you for a Nobel Peace (of Ass) Prize for this! You really have made an enormous contribution, a long, thick and hard contribution to world peace: What man could possibly go to war after getting deep-throated Chelsea Girl style? (Or Ravenna style, I add immodestly...) Although I can imagine fights breaking out to get to the head of the line at your boudoir door, darling, better hand out those little number slips.

Your primer is so perfect it should be taught in SexEd classes in high schools across the land. (Though it really was more fun to learn it all the hard way.) You covered the basics so well, babe, but here's a tiny contribution to the peace process: For that early cocksucking and shaft-lubing phase before he goes down deep, I like to add pussy juice, big handfuls of it, scoop it out with two fingers like poi and apply liberally, it was made for lubing large things going into small holes, and brewing this lovely honey is what your pussy is made for (among other things). And tell him what you're doing down there, he'll dig this, trust me, anything that reinforces the equation MOUTH=CUNT will light your guy up like a pinball machine. (Not used to the taste of your own pussy? Girls, she's right down *there*, what are you waiting for?!) If my hands are tied, as they often are, my master likes to dip his fingers into this bottomless well of lubricity himself. Your connection of yawning practice and de-gagging the gag reflex is so precisely right on it's like zen, also your tips for semen sweetening. Strawberries, yum! And one last tip. I always swallow, it's part of my religion, but I'm totally okay with girls who won't: More cum for us, huh, babe? ;-)

[ws cross]

Found you from "Eros, Logos." Nifty advice, a lot of women are mystified by oral sex, yet it's now a "given" with most people (and rightfully expected by women in return).

[Goose]

Most excellent advice and as always, I will follow it. Though I'm not bad at it already.
And don't quit blogging.
Goose

['twon]

I'm in love. Only the true godess gets off on Face-fucking

[Amber]

This is my favorite part:

if you don’t enjoy swallowing, perhaps you and your lover can find some signal when he’s ready to come, something, for the love of all things holy, that is not a tap on the head.

Ha!

[chelsea girl]

Hey everyone,

I'm just glad I could do my little bit to make my world and yours a kindler, gentler place.

Do tell: has it worked for anyone yet?

cg

(Oh, and the infinitely talented ravenna raises a delicious point: do use what your momma gave you, if your momma gave you a pussy that is. Though technically, as it is the sperm that determines the gender of a child, I guess you'd really be using what your poppa gave you...)

[kaboodle]

Damn awesome article! It ought to be required reading for every woman. My GF loves to suck and begs for me to come so she can taste my spunk. What a turn on!

[Austin]

actually, it's chromosomes, but I'm being pedantic

[feral_rabbit]

One of your tarts highly recommended your blog and I've been reading and enjoying.

This is a great piece!

Kelcey uses a lubricant in our foreplay (currently it is apricot kernel oil) and that perhaps helps her when deep throating me. In the right position it seems (to me) effortless on her part.

Kelcey says one of the most important things for her to do is to concentrate on her breathing. She was pleased to find out that all the drool wasn't unusual.

Something we've never seen or heard mentioned is farting. Sometimes when I come Kelcey gives a three fart salute. It's awesome!

Thanks!

Woodsbunny

[HH]

Hiya-

I have been attempting to deepthroat my husband for many months - being a trained singer and never having thought of the "basal open tongue" just makes me embarrassed!! I've got the whole lube thing going just fine... the gag reflex has now been explained... my big thing is when I do manage to get him even partially in my throat I get panicky about BREATHING. Is there a trick to this as well? OR do you just do breath holding exercises as a sideline to the whole thing? OR do you just pump him so quickly with your throat that you time your breathing accordingly? (Not a strong suit of mine... I am a singer not a swimmer). Please do tell. I would LOVE to finally arrive. :]

Yet-to-Arrive

[chelsea girl]

HH,

Breathing is a really good question, and one I hadn't brought up because, you nailed it, I am a swimmer. I raced throughout high school and I competed in synchro and one thing I know is breath control. So I never really had to consider the issue.

It sounds to me, though, like you've got an anxiety about choking on your man's dick. You can reassure yourself by knowing that you're in control. Moreover, you can train yourself by practicing holding your breath or doing breathing excercises like yoga. Even if you never use "breath of fire" in bed, you're teaching yourself control.

I tend to hold my breath when I'm deepthroating and breathe when just the tip of the cock is in my mouth. It feels pretty natural to me, actually, but then that's me. As a singer, you must have had experience with breath. Ask yourself: what does your body know?

In short, find what you know and use it to your advantage. Just as you were able to name the "basal tongue technique," you can probably find other things from singing--or yoga or whatever--that will help you.

Good luck & thanks for writing.
cg

[Autumn]

As I recently told you, this helped me immensely. I love this primer so much, I recommend it to people fairly often - as well, as your fabulous anal posts.

Thank you, again.

[Janis S]

Thank you for this wonderful piece of work. I am inspired. I just can't wait for an opportunity to put it all into practice with the proper tool! Having sex with pieces of fruit has been fun but they don't love you in the morning.

[chelsea girl]

On the other hand, fruit makes a delicious and healthful breakfast.

I'm so happy I could help so many wonderful aspiring fellators.

Go deep, my friends.

kissykiss,
cg

[rachel]

you have no idea how grateful I am to find an article like this. My husband loves it when I suck him off but I have never done well at deep throating. I can't wait to try it! I wish he'd hurry and get home! Question though. how long does it take to for food to make the spunk taste better?

[Kitana]

Thank you so much for a simple and concise guide to deepthroating, I definitely am pleased with the results I've gotten with your guide.

[sally]

Hi,
I can't seem to get my boyfriend's penis into my throat...everytime I try deep throating, it feels like theres a block in the back of my throat and it won't go any futher. Everytime i've attemped to deep throat, it was him lying down. Can it be the problem with the position?

[DurtyGyrl]

I have to say, I MEMORIZED the information in here and Holy Old Faithful and Niagra!!!! At first I was thinking that it was just simply because of the length and circumference of my partner but then the nerd in me did some research and found this page. We tried for a full DAY and before u know it, I was taking his 9 x 2 incher COMPLETELY down. I am sure the "practice" built things up even more but the end result was phenominal. Not only did HE get off but I have never been more turned on myself.

For those that are unsre if they may be doing something wrong...POSITION...POSITION...POSITION!!!! For me, I found that him lying on his back with me over him gave me more control and it was damned near like jello sliding down my throat. The only downfall for me out of the WHOLE ordeal was that there was NO taste (maybe a little when he finally pulled out) when he finally did cum. Completely missed the tastebuds.

You made me a believer and should SERIOUSLY give classes to those in need. I am a visual person so that helped me a lot but for some, they may just need you to physically be there to guide them through it. I thank you and my partner thanks you as well.

[brittany]

i love giving head! im pretty good at it, and my boyfriend LOVES it. he loves that i love it, that im good at it, and that i just start doing it outta the blue. (NOTE TO LADIES: start sucking him off when he is on the phone, it drives him crazy! trust me)..anyway, i can shove it in til the opening of my throat, and want to really deep throat it - so thanks bc this was really helpful. i think the thing that was stopping me was the position of my mouth and throat, but now i know what to do - he'll flip his lid
thanks a million!!!

[Lady Harley Ryder]

Reading this has made me so horny that I had to go deep throat my man. Thx

[Karamel]

This information is very helpful, but my man has a tapered penis, it start's off with a big head and narrows down, how can I deepthroat starting with the widest part?

[Jackie]

I am a sub and have a Master who wants me to learn to deep throat. I have been struggling immensely due to my gagging reflexes. He is now away for two weeks and has given me many tasks to complete, one being to research deep throating and ways I can practise alone.
Having just discovered your website, this is going to make my life a little easier and alot less sore for not completing this task before he gets back.

Thank you xx

[Elf]

My man directed me to your site after reading about anal-sex.(which we are yet to try!) I followed a few links and found this post. We see each other next week after eight months of forced separation and I hope I get this technique down pat before he gets here.

[ac]

i agree especially with your first point, practice, practice, practice. i recommend kielbasa- good size and tastes better than dildo. second: recommend empty stomach and third eat some ice cream immediately prior. if you do puke, it tastes better and makes your spit nice and thick