Change a word and I'll kill you. The journal of Epidemiology and Community Health has just published new research by scientists at Stockholm University that reveals men who keep things bottled up at work and fail to confront bosses or colleagues about unfair treatment more than double their risk of a heart attack or dying of heart disease.
So with thanks to Phillip Hodson, Fellow of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy, and Dr Luisa Dillner, here's a quick guide to dealing with conflict at work.
1 Have a blazing row. Undoubtedly both psychologically and physiologically highly beneficial. Unfortunately not so good for your career prospects. You might get away with it if the person you are rowing with is at the same level as you, but you might also be making a lifelong sworn enemy. Also, be sure to row out of earshot of any other colleagues: you don't want to let them in on the secret that you're completely out of control.
2 Say you are angry. It sounds obvious, but many people are scared of admitting to what they feel is a negative emotion. Anger is normal: the whole point of it is to get you through to the other side of something unpleasant. If you don't get angry, you get stuck.
3 If you can't say you are angry, use a meta-language. Either request permission to speak – it suggests the other person has stepped over the line – or query what your boss has said to you. Try to avoid being too narky, though. That's regression to passive-aggression.
4 Speak ever more quietly. It's a brilliantly controlling tactic as it forces people to make an extra effort to listen to you. It also makes you sound cold and furious so people will respond to you as if you really are being angry. Which you are, of course.
5 Don't engage at all. This option should only be taken if your boss is a Malcolm Tucker psychopath – a surprisingly common personality at the head of many large organisations. These people will take you down, any way they can. Keep a record of their behaviour and go to a tribunal.
6 Murder. A highly satisfactory outcome for your feelings, though not one society tends to endorse. Your surviving colleagues will probably treasure your memory in perpetuity.