Are There Tips To Make Talking Dirty Easier?

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011, by Temptress , Uncategorized, No Comments

Temptress,
I really like reading your posts, they’ve really helped me to open my mind to things I’ve never considered before, thank you! I want to try your tip about talking dirty, but I feel so awkward saying those things. Do you have any tips for making it easier?

If you’re feeling awkward about talking dirty, then it’s probably fairly safe to assume that you’re not use to talking that way. Therefore, your feelings may be due to something as simple as a feeling of being unsure that you’re “doing it right” or the awareness within yourself that such language is uncharacteristic of yourself. However, there are other factors which can contribute to feelings of awkwardness, such as the way you were raised(if you were always taught that it was “dirty” or “wrong” for example) and, likewise, if you have or have had a low opinion of dirty talk.

The best and only real way to get better at it and to feel better doing it, is to keep doing it. But, that’s not to say that there isn’t something you can do to make it easier.

While it may be true that practicing when you’re alone won’t help to take all of the awkwardness away from talking dirty, it can be a very good starting point since it can give you the opportunity to get use to saying the words and allows you time to play around with the many different ways you can group words together. And both having a better idea of what you’ll say and familiarizing yourself with the language will, naturally, help to give you a little more confidence.

Now, if you’re in the position of not only feeling awkward about not being used to doing it, but also have personal issues with either having been taught that it was wrong or you yourself had a low opinion of it, then working towards resolving these issues will dramatically improve your comfort level.

Additionally, talking dirty can be done in “levels”… You don’t have to jump straight into saying the most shocking thing if you’re not comfortable with it. Talking dirty is really more about using words to arouse your lover instead of physical contact, and it’s completely possible to do that without using any “strong” or “graphic” language.

For example, if you aren’t comfortable saying “I want to feel your cock throbbing hard against my tongue while you’re shooting your load in my mouth” you could say “I want to swallow every inch of you.” Both are hot, one is just a little less graphic than the other.

Likewise, if you aren’t comfortable with saying something like “I’m going to fuck every last drop of cum out of you” you could say “I’m going to ride every last drop of cum out of you.”

It is, however – as you’ve read, usually true that the more shocking you are, the more of an impact it will have in turning your lover on. But, there’s nothing wrong with staying at your comfort level and/or working towards using more graphic and shocking words.

And, might I add, it’s wonderful to see you opening up to try new things, I just LOVE to see that!

Remember to relax… When you’re relaxed, you can think more clearly and, therefore, you’ll be able to respond to your lover better. Thinking of what you’ll say next will come easier with a clear and relaxed mind than with one that is wracked with anxiety. So, being comfortable and relaxed is a big part of making talking dirty easier.

Other than that, it’s practice, practice, practice… And don’t make it a chore! Have FUN with it! Talking dirty should be fun for BOTH of you, not just something you do for your partner!

If you have any more questions, of course you know where to send them…

*Kisses*

-Temptress

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Please, With A Sexy Strip Tease

Thursday, October 13th, 2011, by Temptress , Relationship Advice, Sex Advice, Sex Tips, No Comments

Today’s tip will be a sort of guideline on how to perform a sexy lap dance for your lover. Of course, by “guideline” I mean that you don’t have to follow every little step exactly to the letter, it’s meant more to guide you in the right direction. There are lots of ways you could change things up.

With that in mind, let’s get down to it, shall we?

1. Practice – Whether you’re shy and unsure or confident and experienced, it might be a good idea for you to practice when you’re alone, before you perform for your lover. Start by closing your eyes and relaxing, listen to the music. Once you relax, start moving your hips to the music. You can start slowly if you’re still feeling shy, but keep moving, and if you get nervous, just keep reminding yourself that it’s ok and that you’re alone. When you have more confidence, you can also practice by doing a strip tease for yourself in the mirror. Though, the mirror is completely optional, the important thing is to practice being relaxed and learning how to move your body.

2. Dress For Success – When you dress for your performance, there are a few things you want to think about while selecting your outfit. First of all, will you want to strip some of your clothes off for your performance or will you want the focus to be more on the dance itself? If you plan to tease your partner by removing some of your clothes before you make your way to him, you will want to choose something that will allow you to remove 1 or 2 items and still leaves something that partly covers you or at the very least something that still covers your pussy. If the focus of your teasing will be the dance itself, then you don’t really have to be concerned with having enough on to strip off, you can either dress up in an outfit to be stripped off after your dance or dress with just enough to cover up your naughtiest bits. Consider how easy or complex it will be to remove what you’ve selected to wear. You may even want to practice how you will remove the items you want to strip out of during your dance if you plan to do so.

3. Setting The Mood – The atmosphere is a key component to setting the mood for your steamy strip tease. For that reason, you want to make sure the environment around you is relaxing. That means considering things such as the lighting in the room, the level of outside noise or whether you’ll be free of interruptions, and even the music you’ll be dancing to. Now, that’s not to say that you have to choose a slow song to dance to, just choose something that will be good for both of you. So, if you want to dress up like a school girl and shake your ass to “Hot For Teacher,” go for it! But, for example, if your partner doesn’t like or gets annoyed with certain songs you listen to, don’t pick those songs for your strip tease – you get the picture. You also don’t have to have the whole room lit up with candles or so dim it’s almost like having the lights off, but you both may find it more relaxing with a softer lighting, such as a lamp.

4. You’re Such A Tease – Or, at least you SHOULD be! From the very beginning of your dance your main focus should be to do everything in your power to tease your lover so much, they’re ACHING to get their hands on you. For this reason, it’s good to start your dance standing a few feet in front of them, which will give you the opportunity to prolong your dance enough to do some teasing as you work your way over to them. It’s also very important to pay attention to how your lover is responding during your dance. Doing this will give you valuable information which will help you to know what to do next, what to do more or less of, and when to increase the intensity of your seduction.

5. Lap dance – When you get around to performing the actual lap dance, you have your biggest opportunity to do some pretty intense teasing, especially if you’ve opted to keep it “hands off” like it is at the strip clubs(which I FULLY recommend.) The art of grinding your hips is one that could take some practice for some, but once you get use to doing it, it will feel natural and very easy. Just be sure to relax, take your time, follow your instincts, and enjoy yourself. These things all sound very simple and, they are, but also important key factors to giving a good lap dance. The most common ways to move your hips during a lap dance is to either sway your hips back and forth, to move them in a sort of figure eight motion, or in a circular motion. Of course, you could come up with any number of ways to move your hips, just remember, most motions are done best with long exaggerated movements of the hips. Also, when you’re going in for the lap dance, you may want to tease your lover by hovering over him as closely as you can without actually coming into contact with him for a little bit before you start grinding. Use your entire body to entice your partner, don’t just focus on your hips and forget that your whole body has the potential to tease your lover.

6. Talk Dirty – I’ve mentioned the power of dirty talk in a previous article, however, let me just repeat myself for a minute and say that the more shocking and naughty what you have to say is, the more of an impact it’s likely to have in turning your lover on. So, instead of telling him you’re going to “ride him,” take the time to describe it. For example, “My pussy is SO wet, it’s going to feel SO good when I slide down onto your cock to ride the cum out of you.”

7. Get Naughty – I think this step is pretty self-explanatory! After you’ve teased your lover to the point where it looks like they can’t take it any more, tease them just a minute more and then allow them to ravage you or if you will be remaining in control, you may choose to give in to their urges or to pleasure them slowly in attempt to continue teasing them as you’re pleasing them. However you do it, this is the step where you do your thing and GET NAUGHTY!

Well, there you have it! Now you’re ready to blow your lover’s socks off with your new lap dance skills, right? Of course you are!

Lap dancing is a great way to show off your sensual side, so don’t be afraid to get creative and really allow yourself to enjoy the process! After all, your lover will be able to tell when you’re doing something that you’re genuinely enjoying. And, when they see you enjoying being sexy and/or naughty that makes it a bigger turn on for them.

Of course, if anyone has any questions, you know what to do.

Having said that, I think I’m off to answer my next all important question… What’s for dinner?… LOL!

*Kisses*

-Temptress

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Female Ejaculation – Is It Real?

Friday, October 7th, 2011, by Temptress , Relationship Advice, Sex Advice, Sex Tips, No Comments

When it comes to female ejaculation many people, both male and female, are left wondering the big question… Is it real? It’s one of many subjects I often observe people wondering about. It’s refreshing these days to see more people experimenting with this and learning for themselves that it is indeed very real and will in fact bring a whole new level of enjoyment to your sex life! (Especially for you ladies!)

However, as I said before, there are still a great number of people who are still left in the dark when it comes to female ejaculation, and still others who mistakingly believe it’s pee. And it’s for these very reasons I’ve decided to make female ejaculation today’s topic.

And just HOW do I know for sure that female ejaculation really does exist? Well, besides it being a medically recognized fact, I know because I myself am indeed a squirter. I didn’t always know that I could squirt, I did believe that it was real, I just didn’t think I was able to do it since I never had… It wasn’t until I reached my 20’s, in fact, that I squirted for the first time and realized that I did have the ability to reach such a climax each and every time I had sex. (Sometimes six times in a row even!) It was certainly a moment of discovery for me, one of those ‘where have you been all of my life’ and ‘I can’t believe it took me this long’ moments all rolled into one. The orgasms I experience when I squirt are way better than any orgasm I’m able to achieve without squirting. They’re both more intense in the amount of pleasure I feel and in the sensations my body feels. And that’s exactly why I think female ejaculation is a very powerful thing to learn about.

It’s not hard to see why some people who have never experienced female ejaculation could think it’s urine, after all it’s usually a great deal of liquid that comes gushing out. But, this is the misinformation that prevents men and women alike from experiencing the totally natural, normal, and extremely orgasmic addition to their sex life that female ejaculation can provide.

So, let’s begin with a sort of brief history on female ejaculation.

You see, not even doctors always knew what female ejaculation was. Before they understood the process more clearly, women were subjected to needless surgeries, paid for expensive counseling sessions, experienced problems in their sex lives, and were even divorced over it.

As reports of the occurrence came in to gynecologists and psychiatrists, the women would be told that they were urinating and either needed surgery or therapy.

An interesting fact to note is that while the medical profession didn’t understand female ejaculation, it was actually written about long ago by Aristotle and others. However, it wasn’t until the 1980’s that doctors began to understand what female ejaculation really is.

Female ejaculation is described in “New Treatise Concerning the Generative Organs of Women” by De Graaf as follows:

“… during the sexual act it discharges to lubricate the tract so copiously that it even flows outside the pudenda. This is the matter which may have been taken to be actual female semen.”

In 1980 Perry and Whipple showed a film of a woman ejaculating to the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex. Martin Weisberg M.D., gynecologist and disbeliever, had this to say on the matter:

“Bull … I spend half my waking hours examining, cutting apart, putting together, removing, or rearranging female reproductive organs. There is no female prostate, and women don’t ejaculate.”

But, after reviewing the film and having witnessed the act in person, he changed his response:

“The vulva and vagina were normal with no abnormal masses or spots. The urethra was normal. Everything was normal. She then had her partner stimulate her by inserting two fingers into the vagina and stroking along the urethra lengthwise. To our amazement, the area began to swell. It eventually became a firm one by two cm oval area distinctly different from the rest of the vagina. In a few moments the subject seemed to perform a Valsalva maneuver (bearing down as if starting to defecate) and seconds later several cc’s of milky fluid shot out the urethra. The material analysis described in the paper (Perry & Whipple’s) is correct, its composition was closest to prostatic fluid.”

The area that’s referred to as the female prostate are the paraurethral glands or Skene’s glands. It’s called the female prostate because of it’s similarity to the male prostate in structure, placement, and function. You can see where it’s located by looking at the picture below.

So what is female ejaculation?

To sum it up, it’s very much like male prostate fluid, only without the sperm, of course. It’s usually either clear or milky white, has the consistency of water, and is virtuously odorless. The taste can vary from being extremely sweet to bitter or sour or even a combination of all of these depending on certain variables such as time of the month, diet, or even the last time of ejaculation.

Please note that it does NOT look, taste, or smell like pee. Unless she has a weak pubococcygeus muscle, she will not pee during an orgasm. The body was designed in such a way that the pubococcygeus muscle has multiple functions, it’s the muscle that contracts to stop the flow of urine when you pee and also contracts during an orgasm to prevent your bladder from draining and to prevent retrograde ejaculation from getting into your bladder.

Things To Know About Female Ejaculation

- In no way does female ejaculation increase the chances of pregnancy.

- Female ejaculate is like water and, like water, does not do well as a lubricate.

- The ejaculation is done through the urethra.

- Ejaculation during actual intercourse is possible though usually more difficult to achieve.

- The best way to achieve female ejaculation is by using your fingers.

- You may wish to put a towel or something down since there’s usually a lot of fluid ejaculated.

- Be ready to put in some time. It could take anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes to 30 minutes or more, especially when trying for the first time.

- Ladies, RELAX! It’s not going to happen if you’re too nervous or embarrassed. It’s not going to happen unless you allow your body to completely relax and concentrate on the pleasure and really allow yourself to enjoy it. As you should, I’d like to point out!

OK… More tips on female ejaculation another time, so keep your eye out for it. Until then, happy experimenting with this one and, as always, if you have any questions, click on the “About” link at the top or the e-mail icon and send in those e-mails!

*Kisses*

- Temptress

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How Can I Make My Cum Taste Better?

Monday, October 3rd, 2011, by Temptress , Relationship Advice, Sex Advice, Sex Tips, No Comments

Temptress,

My girlfriend says she wants to swallow for me, but she wishes it tasted better. How can I make my cum taste better, is that possible?

Yes, it IS possible to change the taste of your cum since, like all other secretions in your body, your cum IS effected by your diet and, really, your over all daily lifestyle. Therefore, the cleaner you live, the better you taste.

That is to say that non-smokers, people who don’t drink, eat less or no red meat, and people who eat lots of fruits and vegetables instead of junk food have been said to taste better than people who do partake in smoking, drinking, and eating lots of red meat and/or junk food.

But when you’re considering your diet, you shouldn’t limit yourself to the point of an unbalanced diet. And, you should also consider the amount of time it takes for food to move through your body. Most foods take about 12 to 24 hours to move through your system, however some foods take longer. So, you might be mindful of the things you eat the day before a date, for example.

So, that brings us to our next point… What should you avoid? Well, I’ve already mentioned eating lots of red meat and junk food, but there are other foods that have a bad impact on the taste of your cum, like: milk and other dairy products, garlic, onions, vegetables from the cabbage family which can make your cum taste bitter, strongly spiced dishes, and any foods which break down into strong smelling or tasting chemicals and are excreted by the body, such as asparagus.

As far as adding things to your diet which will help to make you taste better, the three biggest suggestions are pineapple and pineapple juice, celery, and drinking lots of water.

Other fruits or juices that are high in sugar content such as apples, grapes, and mangos can also help and may increase the amount of sugars that are put out in your cum. Kiwi, watermelon, and other melons, blueberries, and cranberries are also said to be good for making your cum taste better.

Other than fruit, parsley and wheat grass have been recommended.

However, there is another factor you may also wish to think about, and that is the consistency of your cum – Which can also greatly effect the act of swallowing. Let’s face it, it could taste like the greatest cheesecake your lover has ever had, if it’s stringy or lumpy or stuck to the roof of her mouth, it’s not going to be a very pleasant experience for her.

Of course the most important tip of all, for both taste and consistency, is to drink plenty of water. You want to make sure that your body isn’t dehydrated because dehydration will produce thick stringy cum.

Gelatin and egg whites have been recommended to help with consistency due to the amount of protein they provide. Also, I’ve seen omega-3 oils and wheat germ recommended for producing creamier cum.

One more thing… Whatever you do, PLEASE don’t think this will be a quick fix solution… You can’t declare today that you’re done with red meat and expect your cum to taste better by tomorrow. Things like this take time and you have to be willing to stick to it in order to see any results. (Not that I’m trying to say that you should cut out red meat altogether, but you get the picture…)

If you need me to go into further detail on anything or if you have any more questions, you know where to send them!

*Kisses*

-Temptress

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Tips For Spicing Up The Missionary Position

Wednesday, September 28th, 2011, by Temptress , Relationship Advice, Sex Advice, Sex Tips, 1 Comment

Ok, we all know the missionary position is the most commonly known position there is. Unless you’re a virgin, it’s very likely you’ve had sex in this position before. Likewise, you may also have experienced boredom during some point with one of your partners, past or present, while in this position.

The truth is, the missionary position can be just as fun and erotic as a page right out of the Kama Sutra, if you do it right. The problem is, so many women think that there’s nothing they can do in that position since their lover is laying on top of them. So, they just lay there like a lifeless fuck doll, and in turn start to turn their lovers off.

This is ridiculous! There are FAR too many people out there not having good sex, someone has GOT to put an end to that madness!

That’s why, for today’s tips, I have decided to offer some tips to make the most familiar and commonly known of positions more enjoyable for both parties!

Missionary Tips – For Her

1. Either play with your clitoris or allow your partner to play with it as he moves in and out of you. If you choose to do it yourself, you have the advantage of knowing what you like and moving at your preferred speed. If you allow him to, you can enjoy the excitement of not knowing what to expect. Succumbing to the way your partner touches you will provide you with a very exciting and highly arousing experience in itself.

2. Talk dirty! For many men, there is nothing hotter than a woman that isn’t afraid to lean in close to his ear to tell him something shockingly naughty! From telling him how hot he makes you to telling him in explicit detail about all of the devious things you want to do to his body or that you’d like to feel him do to yours, this is a sure way to push your partner’s buttons! Especially with the right timing, you’ll literally be able to tell with every thrust he makes that he’s getting more turned on.

Now, this is no time to be timid ladies! The more graphic you are, the more likely it’ll have more of an impact of getting him more turned on. So, don’t be shy about telling him you want to suck the cum out of his throbbing hard cock instead of just saying you want to give him a blowjob. Rather than jumping straight from missionary to giving him a blowjob, use the opportunity to turn him on by the thought of it first. Teasing him like this as he moves in and out of you will not only add more excitement to the missionary position, but will also excite you both as you move into your next position – keeping sex fun and enjoyable.

3. Explore your partner with your mouth. Quite simply, besides just kissing your partner, you should explore his neck and chest area with sensual kisses, carnivorous licks, and perhaps a few playful nips. If your man is into nipple play, you could also tease him by using your mouth and/or fingers to stimulate him.

4. Move! Just because you’re on the bottom doesn’t mean you have no control over the motion of your love making. As he pushes down into you, thrust your pelvis up against him. The force of you slamming your pussy against him will feel good for both of you. And, also consider that as you push yourself against him it’s very likely you’re getting more of his cock into you than he normally pushes in with an average thrust and this can give you a huge advantage in pushing your lover’s buttons. And, don’t forget to vary up your motions, don’t be afraid to move those hips!

5. Learn how to contract your pussy muscles. By learning how to tighten the feel of your pussy around his cock, you’ll gain knowledge of a very powerful technique that will push your lover over the edge. This little tidbit works SO well, it’ll easily put you in control, even when you’re in missionary. Just remember, timing is everything ladies!

6. And, probably one of the most important things to remember, BE INTERACTIVE! Don’t just lay there and let him hammer away at you, don’t leave it all up to him. There are plenty of things you can do to let him know that you’re into it. Wrap your legs around him, run your fingers across his back or through his hair. Grab his hips, grab his ass! Just do SOMETHING and don’t be afraid to experiment!

Any of these tips are good, but being able to do more than one or all of them is even better! Remember that sex is something that is suppose to be fun and enjoyable – so make it that way!

Well… I suppose that about wraps this up for now. Of course, if anyone happens to have any questions in regards to these tips or would like me to go into further detail about anything, you’re more than welcome to send those e-mails in!

*Kisses*

-Temptress

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New Addition – Social Bookmarking

Monday, September 26th, 2011, by Temptress , Personal Message, No Comments

Well, I’ve made an addition to Ask Temptress!  Now, you’ll notice at the bottom of each post and each page there is a link that says “Social Bookmark It – Click Here.”

When you click on that link, a list of social bookmarking sites for you to choose from will appear. Simply select the site(s) you want to save the post or page to.

If you look below the list of sites you’ll also see a link that says “Hide Sites.” Clicking this link will neatly tuck the list of sites away until you are ready to view them again. I thought it would be a nice feature to have for a few reasons… For one thing, it makes reading through the blog both easier on your eyes and also allows the blog to load faster than it would if it had to load up all of those icons in each and every post. Ease and convenience Baby…

I’ve included a bunch of different social bookmarking sites to give you a wider selection to choose from. There are quite a few of them out there… If you don’t see one you’d like to see on the list, let me know and I’ll see what I can do about that!

If you aren’t familiar with what a social bookmarking site is, it’s a website that allows you to save things you come across on the internet that you want to keep in much the same way as a regular bookmark on your browser would… Except, with social bookmarking sites, you can view the things you have saved from any computer(not just your own), you don’t have to worry about losing your favorites if your computer happens to crash, and you can share your favorites with other people, as well as view ratings and recommendations of sites other people have saved. It’s really a pretty cool and handy little system.

I hope you guys enjoy the new feature!

*Kisses*

-Temptress

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Welcome To Ask Temptress

Sunday, September 18th, 2011, by Temptress , Personal Message, No Comments

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