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Inspired by the well-known, children’s story Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (Carroll, 2015), this satirical narrative describes common academic experiences within a fictitious frame. Many children’s stories present a foundational basis for early life lessons of justice, truth, fairness, and how power corrupts. Therefore, regression to a simpler understanding of complex social interactions potentially frees one’s thinking, which frequently becomes muddled in adult-acquired ego, hubris, and sense of status. So, when adults act illogically, sense can be made of unreasonable juvenile actions by re-storying irrational episodes through the logical lens of adolescent literature. This playful narrative explores how in academia, projection of privilege often generates troublesome challenges that lead down a political rabid hole of unsolvable riddles.