So here’s that blog I promised. I’d apologize for the delay, but when you take into account the realities of having a stressful day job, I think you’ll be able to forgive me. Right? Maybe? It’s up to you, really. I won’t feel hurt if you never want to talk to me again. It wouldn’t be the first time, after all. (Fun Fact: Working overtime strains friendships. Especially the romantic kind.)
So anyway, after working a 10 hour shift at the Ajira ticket desk, and dealing with sweaty businessmen and early vacationers, I decided to do some digging. While the common (sane?) man would typically end the day at the bar with some friends or even a nice long nap, I sorted through family papers and the garbage(!), trying to solve a century-long family mystery. So without further ado, the fruits of my labor.
I found the yellow sheets of paper crumpled up in my brother’s wastepaper basket, and I had no idea what to make of them. So instead of fretting over bizarre symbols and clues I completely missed, I remembered a little oddity I found scrunched up in a pouch in my father’s college binder. Said oddity is the two-sided piece of small paper which seems to be a “key” of some sort, and is actually the first mention of Mr. Hobbes I found outside of my brother’s day schedule (more on that at a later date).
As you can see, the key mentions a few things, like “Know Thyself” and “Phoenix.” I initially took this to mean that three generations of Graves men were somehow lost in Arizona, but I went down that road long ago, and all I found was a bunch of nonsense from nutjobs thinking the military was preparing mass graves for the unwashed masses.
I tried to “decode” the yellow sheets with the key, but didn’t have much luck. A few possible words came up (Adomis, Jacob, our dear friend the Phoenix, and Apollo), and I was initially inclined to believe that these were coincidences, if not for the familiar p-word. So unless I’m doing this wrong, this key is broken. Anyone care to prove me wrong?
That’s really all I have for now. Hopefully my new surge of page views, Twitter followers, and commenters will result in the solving of this particular mystery, but until then, I have another day of handing out tickets and scheduling flights to look forward to. Whoop-dee-doo.
Comment away, if you can help.
Update: Special thanks to quincunxxx for decoding the letter so quickly.
As some of you have already figured out, the key is reversed for most of the letter, except when it comes to the names I mentioned earlier. Here’s the full text, complete with the aforementioned forward-decoded names (which are italicized) and spelling mistakes (which are bolded, and sometimes replaced with the proper letter [like so]):
Nathaniel,
Your fathther meant a great deal to us, and we are honored you wish to follow in his foots[t]eps. When Adomis told me what you could do, I knew you were a perfect candidate.
However, the road ahead is long. You may be a good person in my eyes, but Jacob is much harder to please. Initiation into our order is an old and sacred process, and not the easiest thing to endure.
Your first goal is to find the Phoenix. He will ask you to recite Apollo‘s creed, and if you answer correctly, he will give you a test. Th[i]s test is painful and deeply person[a]l, so be prepared. This is where most peopl[e] fail.
Everything from then on will have to remain a secret. I wish you luck, and hope to count you among our number soon.
Simeon Hobbes
This is all deeply disturbing, and not at all what I expected. It now appears that my brother willingly left, but why? And for that matter, Mr. Hobbes and his cronies seem to know my father well enough for him to mean a “great deal” to them. How is this possible?
I can’t even begin to wrap my head around this. And to make matters worse, I’m even finding hidden meanings in spelling mistakes. When you take all the letters that shouldn’t be there (or should) — those being th-t-i-a-e — and rearrange them, you get I. Theta. I. Theta was a classified project my brother was working on for Widmore Construction before he left, and though this may just be a coincidence, I’ll have to look into it more later. He was proud of it, but couldn’t talk about it much, as he was muzzled by a plethora of NDAs.
I don’t even know how I’m going to work today, but thanks to everyone who helped.
Who is Simeon Hobbes? 
May 19, 2009 at 10:10 am |
Thanks for the information we can help with the decoding of the information
May 19, 2009 at 10:12 am |
Hm… looks like a neat puzzle, wish I’d studied harder in herioglyphclass. .)
//gratismat
May 19, 2009 at 10:48 am |
is it me or is the first word BLFI? Think i’ll leave it at that, think someone’s been playing “Broken Sword” too much… 🙂
May 19, 2009 at 11:02 am |
BLF and BLFI are repeated over and over again…?
May 19, 2009 at 10:56 am |
are you sure about adonis? I see adomis, have def. found apollo and phoenix. at least one symbol is missing (first one in the letter) and there are two birds, can’t tell them apart…
May 19, 2009 at 11:01 am |
oh, the first symbol is a ‘b’ – hard to read on ‘dad’s key’. still find adomis instead of adonis and nothing else makes sense!
May 19, 2009 at 11:03 am |
a=z b=y c=x…
May 19, 2009 at 11:07 am |
YOUR BROTHER’S NAME IS DANIEL FARADAY
May 19, 2009 at 11:17 am |
Are you Desmond ?
May 19, 2009 at 11:27 am |
I hope this helps 🙂
“NATHANIAL, fatheher meant a great deal to us and we are honored you wish to follow in his footsteps. When Adomis (sic)told me what you could do, I knew you were a perfect candidate.
However the road ahead is long. You maybe a good person in my eyes but Jacob is much harder to please. Initiation into our *blank* order is an old and sacred process and not the easiest thing to endure.
Your first goal is to find the Phoenix. He will ask you to recite Apollo’s creed and if you answer correctly he will give you a test. Thas (sic) *blank* test is painful and deeply personal, so be prepared. This is where most peopl (sic) fail.
Everything from then on will have to remain a secret. I wish you luck and hope to count you among our number soon.”
May 19, 2009 at 11:34 am |
ah, and I was just about to post that.
May 19, 2009 at 11:35 am |
It’s the same stuff that i got by taking the letter and their opposits:
A=Z B=Y C=X etc etc.
It can be translated to quincunxxx text!
May 19, 2009 at 11:45 am |
yes.. just translate the hieroglyphs with your dad’s key and then substitute a=z, b=y, c=x, … m=n, n=m, …, x=c, y=b, z=a.
May 19, 2009 at 11:47 am |
It looks like your brother went willingly…
May 19, 2009 at 11:49 am |
You can see a reverse alphabet key here : http://tinyurl.com/qnp3p2
May 19, 2009 at 12:02 pm |
The first paragraph that person posted has some errors. The first sentance should read “Your father meant a great deal to us.”
May 19, 2009 at 12:12 pm |
Just a thought….Did I. Theta have anything to do with building an airplane and/or something in the Indian Ocean?
May 19, 2009 at 12:19 pm |
Did your brother have any illnesses growing up? Headaches? Fainting spells? Did he ever appear in a place he wasn’t supposed to be?
May 19, 2009 at 12:30 pm |
FINISHED THE DECODING, HERE IT IS!
Nathaniel,
Your fathehr meant a great deal to us, and we are honored you wish to follow in his footsteps. When adomis told me what you could do, I knew you were a perfect candidate.
However, the road ahead is long. You may be a good person in my eyes, but jacob is much harder to please. Initiation into our [big black rectangle] order is an oldane sacred process, and not the easiest thing to endure.
Your first goal is to find the pheonix. He will ask you to recite apolloh creed, and if you answer correctly, he will give you a test. Thas [big black rectangle] test is painful and deeply personl, so be prepared. This is where most people fail.
Everything from then on will have to remain a secret. I wish you luck, and hope to count you among our numbers soon
Simeon Hobbes
May 19, 2009 at 12:34 pm |
forgot to fix “old and” and “personal”
May 19, 2009 at 12:39 pm |
D’oh, I just finished decoding the whole lot but looks like you have been helped out already
May 19, 2009 at 1:44 pm |
I. Theta is in Epithet Alpha’s name.
Perhaps he’s connected somehow?
May 19, 2009 at 1:48 pm |
That could be a clue – http://www.sumo.tv/watch.php?video=696744
May 19, 2009 at 2:51 pm |
4efo – that is a very old video that was not from the “real” Widmore Labs.
May 19, 2009 at 2:56 pm |
Theta, huh? This is becoming VERY interesting.
May 19, 2009 at 3:05 pm |
Is this Arg real?
May 19, 2009 at 3:07 pm |
@Locke_Bentham:
At the beginning I thought no, but now it has the same sort of feeling the FIRST ARG had, so I would say yes, it is real.
May 19, 2009 at 4:22 pm |
Tinag.
That is all.
May 19, 2009 at 4:27 pm |
Elliot I believe you might be able to get some help from the higher ups at Ajira.
May 20, 2009 at 12:51 am |
[…] Household Artifacts and Other Musings So here’s that blog I promised. I’d apologize for the delay, but when you take into account the realities […] […]
July 8, 2009 at 3:27 pm |
How?
I apologize, going backwards is dumb.
November 21, 2011 at 4:23 pm |
panic attack treatment without medication…
[…]Household Artifacts and Other Musings « Who is Simeon Hobbes?[…]…
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