I’m getting really cheesed off with these Nats. Don’t they know when they’re beaten? Ewan, he of the sand wedge, has gone and really pissed me off again. Not content with chopping hell out of the bunker yet again, he got all smart arsed about Jim Murphy, accusing Jim of being a chancer and traitor.

“Jim Murphy supports Trident, he’s politically right wing, supported the illegal invasion of Iraq and worships Tony Blair. Murphy is Maggie Thatcher with stubble!”

Cheeky bastard that Ewan.

Murphy is a saint of the Labour movement. He single handedly saved Scotland from the evils of independence with his tour of 100 towns. He’ll make a fine Labour Leader in Scotland.

“I’ll tell you what Ewan, Murphy showed the Nats what a courageous man he is, going up against hordes of Nats and bravely facing down the egg throwing barbarians. I didn’t see Salmond doing that!”

Of course Ewan came back with that smug grin of his (a typical Nat trait), “Have you considered that no-one pelted Salmond with an egg because he’s not as deserving as Murphy?”

Yeah, right Ewan, you arsehole.

“Besides, Roger, when did it become a crime to egg a right wing politician? It’s been a part of political culture for decades to egg Tories!”

“Murphy’s not a Tory, Ewan,” I pointed out.

“Murphy supports nuclear weapons and right wing economic policies, Roj!” came back Ewan.

I fucking give up. Some people just have it in for Murphy, I suppose. I put it down to jealousy. Murphy’s been striving his entire life in the Labour Party to make things better for ordinary working people. In fact, before he was an MP, he was a student, living off beans and then he worked as…….er……..something or other, but he’s always been striving for ordinary working people and that’s the point. A Labour man to his core.

Actually I don’t mind who the next leader is. The next man or woman will follow in the footsteps of political heavyweights. He or she will stand on the shoulders of giants such as Lamont, Alexander……er…….. the guy with the stripy kilt and the man from Subway. True working class heroes.

I can’t believe those polls. There is no way that the Nats are going to pick up seats in the General Election. People will always vote Labour or LibDem. Scottish voters, when they’re not voting SNP, are always true to the Union. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve voted LibDem before. I’m a big fan of Charlie Kennedy and I think he’s a sound bloke. He’s actually pretty down to earth but works way to hard. I had the pleasure of his company once on the train to Fort William, and he was obviously suffering from stress and probably going back to his constituency for a well-earned break. He could hardly speak, and obviously had an inner ear problem, bouncing about the aisle on his way to the loo. Luckily I had some Tennants Super and cracked a couple of cans between us. Charlie soon relaxed.

 

And that’s the difference that singles out politicians like Kennedy, Murphy and the new crop from Holyrood such as Findlay and Marra. They are down to earth and close to ordinary people. All are from humble backgrounds, with integrity and boundless vision.

Visionaries! That’s what Scotland is crying out for, not backward looking Bravehearts. Scotland needs politicians of the calibre of Findlay and Marra, who can articulate progressive policies such as…er….well, policies that will lift Scotland onto a new agenda, a new policy HS2, if you like, that will take us to new destinations such as….er….well….Labour and the LibDems have not let us down. Ever! Simples.

“Yeah, Simples, Roger!”

Fucking Nat arsehole that Ewan. Fuck off back to your bunker……..