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Spermy Smurf posted:Rename my dwarf to Bad Munki and send him out there to fight. If that's what it takes to get rid of you, I'm all for it. Besides, what do I have to lose?
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Jan 15, 2014 18:04
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Spermy Smurf posted:We only have like 4 crossbow dwarves who actually have a crossbow AND bolts in their hand dont we? Recruits have had a year to get ammo, but decided to attack goblins with the butt of the xbow right? We have more than 4, but not as many as there should be (which is like 30+). Remember a looong time ago (in real life) which was just like a couple weeks ago in-fortress, when we had a public execution? Well, everyone in the fortress was assigned to a custom burrow in the auditorium, and a lot of dwarves showed up for that. Since then, huge numbers of dwarves have been A)sleeping, B)drinking, and C)eating. Another big pile spent a lot of time hauling worn out socks to the trade depot, just so that the humans could decide to gently caress off and leave (except they can't leave) before our illustrious trader who has literally nothing else to do but trade, bothered to show up (he spent a lot of time sleeping, drinking, eating, and being on break). Anyway Fat and Useless posted:I was in the ranged squad last I checked and I just walked up to a murk zombie and lost a perfectly good arm and shield. I don't remember if you were armed, but I'm not sure it would have mattered since you were off-duty. I have no idea what your dwarf thought he was going to go get but he just made a beeline for the zombie and then seemed maybe a little surprised to find him there.
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Jan 15, 2014 19:17
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Well he knows better now, hopefully. I can't wait to see how this situation gets cleaned up.
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Jan 15, 2014 19:55
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Leperflesh posted:Remember a looong time ago (in real life) which was just like a couple weeks ago in-fortress, when we had a public execution? Well, everyone in the fortress was assigned to a custom burrow in the auditorium, and a lot of dwarves showed up for that. Since then, huge numbers of dwarves have been A)sleeping, B)drinking, and C)eating. You traumatized them!
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Jan 16, 2014 16:37
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Toady or Leperflesh or Bad Munki. Which one will be finished first?
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Jan 16, 2014 16:43
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It's...getting dark...so cold...
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Jan 17, 2014 00:04
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Welp. I recorded more than enough material for an update on Tuesday night. Wednesday I was busy, and on Thursday I got home from work at like 8pm. Still plenty of time to get through editing my screenshots, but... I had a gnarly headache so I just ate some dinner and went to bed instead. Result:  Bad Munki posted:It's...getting dark...so cold... God yes, what is this horrible chill in the air. e. I think this game about horsefucking is supposed to be for little girls??? That's just sick.
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Jan 17, 2014 18:43
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I keep clicking "accept gift" but nothing's happening? HOW DO I GET HORSE GAME???
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Jan 17, 2014 18:46
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Bad Munki posted:I keep clicking "accept gift" but nothing's happening? HOW DO I GET HORSE GAME??? Oh it's so easy, just link up with me on Steam and I can give it to you! I'm Leperflesh on Steam.
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Jan 17, 2014 18:50
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Don't you dare tease me, I'm coming for you.
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Jan 17, 2014 18:51
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It is done. The pact is broken, the seals sundered... let the horsing commence.
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Jan 17, 2014 19:02
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So after this fortress is finally dead, you're going to LP all your punishment games, right?
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Jan 17, 2014 19:05
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Ooh, will there be a ponying list?
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Jan 17, 2014 19:08
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D: Actually I think I'm going to take a nice long break from goon projects, and then in the back of my head I've had this idea of LPing all the various Space Hulk games, alongside a participatory Space Hulk adventure that everyone can play along in, similar to how PoptartsNinja does the battletech LP.
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Jan 17, 2014 19:08
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This game contains no whores, I was 100% mislead 
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Jan 17, 2014 19:12
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I think you need to buy that add on in-game.
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Jan 17, 2014 19:21
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  A special meteor hit the atmosphere of the Earth a long time ago.  The meteor fell into pieces and its crystals were lost.  Our grandfather found two of these crystals and discovered that they had special effect on horses.  "The crystals give special abilities to horses!" - he said... But nobody believed him.  The scholars laughed at him and expelled him.  He gave those two crystals to us hoping that we would be able to realize his dreams.  I was just a boy then, and had no idea what it meant to be a horse master.  But I would learn, and become the greatest horse master that ever lived. That, or I would die trying.  And so begins our journey, for this is the tale of... 
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Jan 17, 2014 19:46
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drat, that horse is hosed up.
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Jan 17, 2014 19:49
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HE'S FINE HIS NAME HIS HOUSTON JUST GIVE ME A FREAKIN' CHANCE I can't figure out how to rename horses yet but if I do, just post here saying "horf me" to get on the list.
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Jan 17, 2014 19:52
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Bad Munki posted:But I would learn, and become the greatest horse master that ever lived. That, or I would die trying. This is a much, much better game about horse mastery.
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Jan 17, 2014 19:53
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Horf me. This is going to be great.
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Jan 17, 2014 19:54
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my dad posted:This is a much, much better game about horse mastery. Sup, horse master buddy! That game is canon by the way, it's basically my Silmarillion.
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Jan 17, 2014 19:57
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*SHRUG* It's an update, horf me.
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Jan 17, 2014 20:14
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The Schemings to get Leperflesh to post an update are getting out of hand!
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Jan 17, 2014 20:16
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Dibs on the adamantine barding.
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Jan 17, 2014 20:34
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gently caress YEAH! Horf me, too.
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Jan 17, 2014 20:48
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I want to join the herd of horves. Hopefully I won't be a foal this time.
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Jan 17, 2014 20:52
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I...I made it. I'm a Horse Master. I'm sick. This is sick. I hate you and I hate this world and I hope you live long enough to suffer.
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Jan 17, 2014 20:57
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For the people who complained about the cat pictures in the thread: This is all your fault.
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Jan 17, 2014 21:38
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Exactly. I may deserve punitive gifts for being late with updates, but really this is on all of you. Munki has my permission to do this and I will be linking his updates from the OPs. Munki I would appreciate it if you set up a Horf Me spreadsheet or something instead of having 500 Horf Me replies in-thread, though.
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Jan 17, 2014 21:50
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If I can trick even one person into getting excited about an update when seeing a hundred new replies, and they get in here to see a bunch of idiots yelling "HORF ME" then I consider that a job well done.  Anyhow, horfing list is now closed, I don't think this is going to go beyond a small handful of horribly-inbred horses.
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Jan 17, 2014 21:51
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Edit: drat. This is going to be beautifully horrible.
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Jan 17, 2014 23:50
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I don't even care what happens, just make me sparkle.
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Jan 18, 2014 01:35
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It's so beautiful  Leperflesh posted:Munki has my permission to do this and I will be linking his updates from the OPs.
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Jan 18, 2014 07:13
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Pickled Tink posted:It's so beautiful Actually, it's the reverse, you punish him until he's late. The late Bad Munki. God rest his soul.
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Jan 18, 2014 07:20
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 25th Limestone, 251 The murk rose and boiled among the trees and tufts of grass to the far northeast.  Dwarves reportedly outside without permission include Jon, Avlein, Forebodingburger, Dowl, and Sunbro. Frankosity's corpse was located and inspected by Sunbro.  LLSix came inside, finally, seeking a well-deserved drink. Alone of those who have gone out without orders I can forgive LLSix because his bravery was clearly to save the immigrants.  I realized there are items in the space below the drawbridge that are not forbidden. They are not important things to risk a life to collect but I explicitly forbade them too.   The four dwarves belatedly began coming back inside after these latest orders were shouted at them. 26th Limestone Lackloss has not moved. The zombie did not see (or otherwise sense) the foolish sallying dwarves. Neither were they ever close to the murk which has now dissipated. 28th Limestone While dramas played out outside with goblin ambushes and mortal combats with the zombie, within Orv labored. Today her work is complete. Behold Kebonnoglesh, “Odorsavage,” a fungiwood ring! In addition to more abstract decorations is a depiction of Daeren striking down the kobold Krobilmus with a mighty blow of his cave spider silk tunic four years ago.    Forevermore will legends of Orv's prowess at wood crafting be told among our people.  Thoradin was seen heading outside through the back way with a bin.  Lacking any explanation I sought the mayor Kalman who was pounding pig tails into pig tail fiber in the large underground room with the animal pens.  She is pleased with her new platinum door which is a ridiculous extravagance but I admit is also well-crafted.    “Kalman, there are dwarves constantly going outside without permission” I complained. “Leperfish! Yes I heard that. I think it is because your orders are not valid because of the date,” she replied but with some caginess and did not look me in my eyes. “What do you mean?” I asked but I already guessed the answer. “Because your year is complete of course. It's time for a new Overseer whose orders will override your own.” I left her there. Of course. It is not traditional that an Overseer have a second term but dwarves of Bronzestabbed accepted it because the Queen ordered. She also told me I must continue to serve but I realized she may have neglected to inform everyone else. Some dwarves were now laboring under the belief that a new dwarf must be Overseer and therefore ignoring my orders. I returned to the back tower with the secret exit. As Avlein, Sunbro and Dowl came in I told each of them “I am still Overseer the Queen has ordered it and do not go back outside.” I got odd looks but no dwarf contradicted me.  There is still Thoradin but at least he is armed.   He was not far from the front entrance when he suddenly turned around and started coming back. I had hope that he got word from someone on the wall that outside was forbidden by the actual real Overseer but actually he had only decided it was time for a break.  1st Sandstone Thoradin came in and I ordered the back way sealed. Samuel L. Jackson the Metalsmith took the job immediately. I think word is spreading among the dwarves. I heard grumbling but no one will say to my face it is wrong for me to still be Overseer.  3rd Sandstone While I wasn't looking Tangents went outside. I checked with the manager and she had a job to pick up equipment consisting of a copper mail shirt.   The stockpile records show that there are three adamantine breastplates and if those are too fancy for Tangents there are sixty bronze mail shirts in stock as well which are better than copper.  Tangents is in The Ramparts of Weather who are supposed to be training this month. Their uniform allows any mail armor under a breastplate which means she should pick the best available not a filthy copper mail that is located somewhere outside that I do not know about and therefore did not explicitly forbid.  It does not matter though. The fortification will be built and if Tangents is stuck outside she can wait until it is safe for us to open the front gate. 4th Sandstone I may have mentioned my thoughts to various dwarves near by at the top of my lungs yesterday and now Tangents has come back indoors quickly. She did not haul or wear the alleged copper armor. a  6th Sandstone Kalman again issues edicts to secure the sock supply.  The fortification is finally in place! Unfortunately Monathin is outside. This recruit apparently desired to loot some item from the body of Frankosity.   Monathin will serve as an example to others. We will not open the gate until my plan for dealing with Lackloss is ready. In the meantime Monathin will have to survive on his own. With the fortress sealed I have relaxed the burrow restriction. Dwarves may use the courtyard and other enclosed areas. 7th Sandstone Monathin came to the back tower and found the way fortified. I will have no sympathy for him. Tarox has left the hospital but is still faint from his missing arm and tried to go to training. He is relieved from duty.  11th Sandstone Monathin tried to get a drink from the river. Lackloss found him. After bowling him over Lackloss slashed open his guts.  Monathin got to his feet and Lackloss removed one with a quick chop. A second hacking blow with the sword took off the rest of his left leg at the thigh.    As Monathin lay and screamed, Lackloss took off his other foot. Monathin tried to hide behind his shield, but the pitiless zombie simply stabbed his shield arm. The copper shield clattered down, and Monathin fainted.  A second later he was dead, his life gushing out of his horrible wounds.  I will not be sorry. I will not be sorry. I will not be sorry. Monathin's death has caused Lackloss to move to a new spot to stand still for days. Consequently I've expanded the new diggings.  13th Sandstone The miners are quick to dig soft earth as I once learned to mine in this same earth. 16th Sandstone The fortifications are going in now. I have also laid out the first battery, and ordered more parts made.   Lackloss still stands near his freshest kill.  Monathin who is dead is also missing.  The human merchants complain they cannot leave. We work as fast as possible but I will not open the gate until we are ready.  23rd Sandstone The first units are going up, and the fortifications are nearly complete. The difficult part will come soon... I think that I cannot avoid sending someone outside. 
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Jan 18, 2014 08:54
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Huh I lived, go go dwarven medicine!
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Jan 18, 2014 11:25
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Fat and Useless posted:Huh I lived, go go dwarven medicine! So far, anyway! It's still possible for you to die from blood loss or from an infection. But the fact you survived to make it in and out of a hospital bodes well. You're more likely to remain in the ranks of the one-armed veterans of Bronzestabbed.
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Jan 18, 2014 18:19
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If you live, it's not dwarven medicine.
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Jan 19, 2014 00:15
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Bad Munki posted:If you live, it's not dwarven medicine. Where da horsies at?
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Jan 19, 2014 03:00
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