Fyre Festival: The Supermodel-Backed, Luxury Music Festival That Allegedly Scammed Rich Kids Out of Thousands

As a general rule of thumb, when you pay a lot of money for something, you expect it to be good. We all know this, and we all feel this way. So imagine I tried to sell you on a "luxury" music festival in the Bahamas. Sure, going would cost you anywhere from $4,000 to $12,000, but who cares? After all, the Fyre Festival is "luxury." That high price would not only get you performances from Pusha T, Migos, Blink 182, and Major Lazer, it would also get you accommodations in villas. Rides on yachts. It would be like a douchier Coachella! So how'd it go?

Oh, boy. Strap in. This comes from Consequences of Sound.

According to reports on reddit and Twitter, the festival grounds were littered with half-built tents and mountains of trash. Catered meals were nothing more than a slice of bread and cheese, with a salad garnish for good measure. As night fell, the situation became even more chaotic, as festival staff and security were nowhere to be found. Luggage was thrown out of the back of a truck to an awaiting mob. There were reports of feral dogs running loose through the festival grounds, and some attendees allege to have gotten into verbal and physical confrontations with locals. All the while, flights to the island have been canceled.

Look, I don't mean to laugh at the misfortune of others, but...THIS IS HILARIOUS. As far as bait and switches (or is it baits and switches? Either way...) go, this one might be the biggest ever. You're promised a glamorous time thrown, at least in part, by co-founder Ja Rule. That guy was super famous! He knows glamour. And what do you get instead? Feral dogs! Bread and cheese! This is like if you bought a car and, as soon as you drove it off the lot, it turned into a feral dog and tried to eat you.

Wait, I can already hear you. Those rich jerks are probably just being sensitive! Look, I get it. That's usually a fair assessment about rich assholes, but let's check the tape.

This looks like a fraud on such a massive level that it's almost impressive. The whole thing feels like a Simpsons joke. Homer and the family get to go to a super fancy, luxury festival only to find that it has all the trappings of a refugee camp. In fact, maybe that's how these guys at Fyre Festival should spin this. The whole thing was a performance-art piece to teach rich people about the plights of refugees.