If operating systems were soup... [Humor]

MacOS: The customer walks into the restaurant, sits down, and orders the
MacOS soup. The waiter serves his soup promptly, a nice steaming bowl
with good tasting soup. The customer looks around the restaurant and
realizes that everyone is eating the Windows 95 soup, but he doesn't mind,
cause he likes his soup just fine. He complains to the waiter that his
favorite wine isn't chilled to the right temperature, even though he
didn't order it and isn't being charged for it. A person at another table
eating the Windows 95 soup brags about how he can choose to replace the
chicken in his soup with different chicken if he wants to. The MacOS soup
eater wonder why the hell he'd want to change what kind of chicken is in
the soup in the first place, seeing as it is some of the best chicken he's
ever tasted in his life.

Windows NT: The customer, a rich customer, sits down and heads straight
for the most complex, expensive soup on the menu, which happens to be the
Windows NT soup. It has several dozen ingredients listed, more than he's
seen in any other soup. After a two hour wait, the waiter walks out with
a huge steaming cauldron of soup and plops it down in front of the
customer. The waiter hands him a special spoon and a manual which
describes how exactly to eat the soup. The customer wants to get to all
the juicy stuff that was described on the menu, but when he looks into the
cauldron, he realizes that all the good stuff has sunk to the bottom of
the cauldron. He consults the manual, which tells him that the only way
to get to the good stuff is to eat the broth off the top. He takes a few
sips of the broth, which turns out to be very bitter. He thinks he can
just about reach a nice looking piece of chicken, but he reaches too far,
falls into the soup, and drowns.

Windows 95: The customer walks in, sits down, and looks around. Everyone
is eating Windows 95 soup, so he figures he should get some as well.
After a half hour wait, the waiter presents to him a bowl of soup in a
cracked bowl covered in flies. The customer complains about the flies,
but the waiter says he'll have to wait until they make another batch with
less flies. The customer tries to squash the flies with his spoon, but it
only serves to spill soup all over the table, and the waiter has to bring
him another bowl. After many tries, he manages to get most of the flies
out of his soup. Just as he's about to start eating, the waiter yanks his
bowl away and replaces it with another one. "This new soup," the waiter
says, "will cost you more, but it is much better than the old soup."
Since the old soup is no longer being served, the customer decides to get
a bowl of the new soup, only to discover that it has even more flies in it
than the first soup.

Windows 98: The customer, upon examining the menu, is immediately
assaulted with advertisements declaring that Windows 95 soup is no longer
being served and that you should get the Windows 98 soup instead. The
Windows 98 soup, like the Windows 95 soup, comes in a cracked bowl covered
with flies. Unlike the other soups, which come with free rolls and
butter, a soda, and a mint afterwards, the Windows 98 soup has all of
these integrated into the soup itself. This way, you don't have to bother
with eating them separately. While eating the soup, the customer
accidentally drops his spoon on the floor. The waiter gives him a new
spoon, which doesn't look like it is appropriate for eating the Windows 98
soup. The customer asks the waiter about it, and the waiter responds
saying "The Windows 98 soup will automatically configure itself to your
new silverware without having to pour a new bowl." You look at the soup,
which begins to bubble, fizz, and change colors. Eventually, it starts
steaming uncontrollably, turns a bright shade of blue, and the bowl
shatters, spilling the soup all over the table and the floor.

DOS: The customer walks into the restaurant and sits down. The cheapest
soup that he can see on the menu is the DOS soup, so he orders it. He is
promptly served a teacup full of chicken broth. When he asks where all
the goodies are that he is used to in his soup, the waiter replies "This
is a very good soup, sir. No one ever complains about its price or that
it's too elaborate. In fact, the DOS broth makes up the basis for our
Windows 95 soup, which is very popular."

Linux: The customer walks in, sits down, looks at the menu, and decides
to order Liunx soup. The waiter goes back to the kitchen, and when he
comes back, he hands the customer a pot of water, a bunch of vegetables,
some grain, a live chicken, and a plastic knife and says "Make it
yourself." After many hours of trying to cut the vegetables with the
plastic knife, chasing the chicken around the restaurant, and lighting the
table on fire to boil the water, he finally is able to sit down with the
soup just the way he likes it.

BeOS: The customer walks in, sits down, and after examining the menu for a
while, discover the BeOS soup in small print on the back. It's free, so
he decides to give it a shot. The waiter comes out of the kitchen with a
cart covered with all sorts of attractive, expensive china. He takes the
lid off from over the soup, releasing a puff of good-smelling steam, and
says "Enjoy." Unfortunately, when the customer looks into the bowl, he
realizes that it is empty.

OS 2/Warp: The customer looks and looks but cannot find the OS 2/Warp
soup anywhere on the menu.

Rhapsody: After examining the menu, he sees that the restaurant will be
serving a new soup in a couple of months called the Rhapsody soup. The
soup will have the best ingredients combined from the MacOS and UNIX
soups, as well as the broth from the NeXT soup, a little known soup that
is the daily diet of a few million people. It comes with a side order of
pure MacOS soup in a blue bowl, in case you want to eat it while you get
used to the new soup. The Rhapsody soup will also be served by a group of
specially trained waiters, who will tuck in your napkin and refill your
beverage whenever you want it. These are things you would have done
yourself anyway, but now you don't have to bother. The Rhapsody soup also
comes with a special yellow container full of prepared ingredients that go
perfectly with Rhapsody, MacOS, Windows 95, and Windows NT flavor soups.
This looks like a really good soup, so you ask the waiter exactly when
they're going to start serving it. The waiter says "Come to our World
Wide Soup Conference in May."

--
"Innovation is the ability to integrate a vast array of seemingly
unrelated capabilities." - Microsoft, in a quarter-page NY Times ad
"And over here, Swiss cheese, spliced with chalk and a beard" - The
crazy South Park geneticist

Brian Webster
bewe...@mtu.edu

LOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Oooh, actually, I expected a Rizzo wanna-be do to something like that.

Those poor saps... they haven't got a clue... (O:

--
"I urge you to be different. I urge you to buy Macintosh. You'll
personally reap the benefits and you'll have great strength. Enjoy."

<Carl Bond> <cb...@earthlink.net>

Either someone REALLY likes soup to write soup 60 times or else someone is
hungry... But the fly in the soup? Oh, that will make me put off eating
for an hour... Anyway, I think it's a classic post... Does someone collect
these things? Just curious, because I think somebody should. Don't you???
(O:

--

Brian Webster wrote:

There is nothing like a good bowl of good soup,LOL,LOLLOL.

John
http://home.att.net/~JohnEEsser/index.html

>In article <bewebste-260...@powermac.resnet.mtu.edu>,

Relaaaaxx...

:There is nothing like a good bowl of good soup,LOL,LOLLOL.

There is nothing like quoting a 144-line post, in its entirety, to add one line.

Netiquette is dead, and it's starting to smell.

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"The good news is that you're normal. The bad news is that normal is
the one condition there's no treatment for." -- Dr. Laura
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Andy Walton * att...@mindspring.com * http://atticus.home.mindspring.com/

Andy Walton wrote:

So this means that there is no right to free speech, who made you the keeper of
csma. Are you trying to be part of the new posting police ?

John

Maybe he thought the post was so good, he wanted it to last on csma a bit
longer bud didn't have much to add because he was so speechless!! (O:

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