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While I don't agree with all the theology in the narrative, this was an amazing Volvo 240 add on Craigslist to read. I'll post both the link and the text as it will ultimately get taken down after it sells.
God bless and have a great day, Fitz.
Some important facts about this particular Volvo 240 of which you should be aware:
This car is an automatic, she's independent and refuses to take commands from someone younger and less experienced trying to grind her gears. 2.3L 4-cylinder. Car has unknown miles because of the common gauge/odometer issue.
New alternator powered by the lightening of Thor. Recent brake work, they grip enough to stop a charging rhinoceros. I just replaced the brake master cylinder and flushed the brake fluid/replaced with new.
Rear wheel drive (RWD). 14" Wheels. Tons of room. Good work car or daily driver. Vintage car, indestructible. Great first car. Third row back facing seat - great for drive-ins.
This Volvo 240 comes equipped with an intermittent electrical fault, never successfully isolated, which means you will, on occasion, you will have absolutely no idea how fast you are moving because the gauge illumination will cease, causing you to stop at a nearby pub, meet an attractive stranger who you end up sleeping with - in the back of the capacious rear.
This Volvo 240 comes with a certain amount of body rust. That certain amount is minimal bubbling in a a few spot as shown in the images.
This Volvo 240 comes complete with the original jack, a spare tire, and two out of four hubcaps.
This Volvo 240 comes with a speedometer which has the 55 mph mark outlined in orange, and only goes up to 85. Thus, on modern freeways, you will sometimes exceed the speedometer's measurement capacity, and thus be reminded that you are an autonomous individual, and all limits are temporary. This will boost your self esteem.
This Volvo 240′s dashboard is cracked.
This Volvo 240′s windows are manually controlled, which will increase the amount of exercise you get, and thus, your sex appeal. Except for the passenger front window, that only cranks down half way.
This Volvo 240′s glove compartment lock is loose, necessitating that it be jiggled to ensure it latches closed. The door has a clever cup holder outlined on it. This is a rouge, it infact will NOT hold a cup and may result in your passengers hot coffee being spilled on their genital region - You've Been Warned.
This Volvo 240 comes with a built-in roof rack, which can be used to carry important cargo, such as a mattress and box spring, a full sized water heater, or a wooden crate containing the Ark of the Covenant.
This Volvo 240′s radio does work, but only receives stations which are broadcasting static. This will protect you from advertising, and terrible popular music such as Robin Thicke's recent hit single "Blurred Lines." But it also sometimes doesn't turn off and drains the battery, so I pulled its fuse. The Volvo 240 consists of straight lines.
Unlike many cars, this Volvo 240 no longer features a suspension, and instead delivers every contour of the road directly to its passengers. This will make you a better driver, in the long run, and make riding in your car a thrilling experience, making you more popular and saving money on amusement park tickets.
Like many Volvo 240s, this Volvo 240 comes with eighteen keys, enabling you to easily lend it to your many friends, or to clean up at key parties. Look it up.
Now, at this point, you must be wondering why anyone, let alone someone distinguished enough to drive a Volvo 240, would ever sell such a car. Simply put it scares small children, and I found one of those recently and brought it home to raise as my own.
Because you have assimilated all the important information above, I assume you are now driven by a passionate urgency to purchase this car. Fear not, as I am prepared to reply to your email at any hour of the day or night.
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Incredible Volvo 240 add on Craigslist, worth the read [200]