Always address small issues, avoid deep chats when you’re tipsy… and five other things you should do if you have anger issues
Our sex and relationships expert Dr Pam Spurr on how to stop those niggles turning to rage
Our sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must- know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr
As a new series of Celebrity Big Brother bursts onto our screens I still can’t erase memories of Megan McKenna in the last CBB.
She provided many hide-behind-your-fingertips moments with her diary room rages.
Megan still leaves a trail of drama behind her, documented in tabloid stories and TOWIE. She’s far from alone, though, having anger issues.
Nearly a third of people polled say they worry about a friend or family member’s temper. And 28% worry about the strength of their own angry feelings at times.
As a reality star temper tantrums might’ve garnered Megan column inches, but volcanic reactions impact badly on your mental and physical well-being. The good news is she’s supposedly had help to overcome angry feelings.
If I was to chat with Megan or anyone about anger issues I’d recommend the following:
Don't avoid speaking-up over small issues!
Crikey, if ever something was true it’s that little things allowed to build-up lead to the biggest rages.
It’s crucial to speak up early when something niggles. Do this in a calm manner, maybe first practising how you want to it with someone.
Don't get stuck in the trap believing when you disagree with someone it has to lead to a row!
Many with anger issues only know how to argue over things. They think only all-out wars will solve things.
Make a point of listening to what they have to say. Then put across your point across. You’re far more likely to be listened to, if you listen first.
Don't sit stewing on things!
Research shows when you’re mulling over something that irritates you, even a simple brisk walk can help burn angry feelings out.
So if you keep going over the way your boss put you down, take a breather, walk-it-out.
Never decide to have things out with someone after drinking!
Some people think, “I’ll just have a few drinks to get the courage to raise this.” Scratch that thought, excess alcohol fuels anger.
Make a point of discussing issues sober. Also wake up to the fact that excess alcohol is involved in far too many arguments.
Don't take out things on your nearest and dearest!
If you have a problem at work, or a nightmare journey home, focus on the fact it’s not your loved one’s fault.
Otherwise it’s damaging to relationships to do this. Instead think through steps to tackle the actual issue and take moment before you get home to calm down. Ask loved-ones for a hug when you’ve had a hard day rather than yelling at them.
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Don’t ignore your triggers!
It’s crucial if you’ve a problem with anger to beware of triggers – those things that make you see red.
Whether it’s your morning car journey, the way a partner does something, or feeling let down by family, whatever. Being aware of these triggers means you can plan how to respond more positively.
Don’t ignore simple steps that actually help level out your mood!
When you’re prone to anger you should avoid excess alcohol (as mentioned), excess caffeine too, make sure you get good quality sleep and exercise regularly. Looking after yourself means looking after bad moods.
Finally, focus on how ugly it looks to see someone screaming. Remember that’s how people see you when you’re in a rage.
Obviously speak to your GP if you can’t get things under control.
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For more advice visit www.drpam.co.uk