French Fries

Personally I prefer apple cider vinegar although
white vinegar and malt vinegar are quite acceptable.
What is not acceptable is having to make do with
ketchup or mayonnaise. (mayo, how disgusting is
that?)

Apparently there are also places where "salt and
vinegar" flavoured potato chips cannot be had. This
is less disturbing. One expects some differences in
foreign lands.

--
Have you sent in your gurn yet?
*** The First Worldwide ABSFG Gurning Contest ***
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Love - to email me add dawt addr dawt komm

Good GAWD, man, french fries without ketchup is like,
well... it's like grilled cheese sandwiches without ketchup!

Ned

Catsup with my victory fries, please, and mustard with my grilled cheese.

Pete (all Merkin inventions, you know...)

--
Night_Seer
"Pete Watters" <ab...@cox.net> wrote in message
news:absfg-C17F5F....@news.west.cox.net...

Mayonnaise for me.

Best wishes
Kirsten

editor: The joke that was going to go here was deleted after a
meeting with Sanford's counselor. Sanford learned that continual
sophomoric references to bodily fluids, sex acts, and other
crude behavior is not "cute" or even "funny."

Sanford also wants to let you know that he has a case of
mayonnaise up for sale on Ebay.

--
Sanford M. Manley - "I am not ready to be spontaneous."
http://bellsouthpwp.net/m/a/manley20/gurn.html
First Worldwide Annual ABSFG Gurning Contest!

well I hope its up on Ebay Holland, because only the Dutch would ever
pollute a perfectly good french fry with mayonnaise...

-NL
XNA
< casting a vote for either sour cream and/or bleu cheese dressing >

Dipping them in a chocolate milk shake is the best way to eat them.

Sandy - when did you start listening to the impulse control in your head?
Are you feeling well? ;)

Ned:

Ketchup is for weenies!
BTW isn't another spelling of ketchup: catsup? Around my house 'catsup' is
something else entirely, but I do wonder.

Diane (who is a mustard and onions on the-weenie-kinda-person)

I have been feeling myself all day and I feel fine. Firm in some places,
soft in others, slightly warm to the touch.

Gawd, I hope you are talking about frankfurters or hot dogs.
Just think of the laundry!!!

Wendy's Frostys!@@#$%%^

Hmm. Well, first, 'catsup' is a legitimate spelling, but
nobody ever says it that way, ie. CAT-SUP - the first syllable
always sounds like 'ketch'.

As for the needs of your weenie, well, the more embellishment
the better.

Ned

It's excellent, I say. Beats ketchup.
But of course, we Danes are especially fond of a weird and very
particularly Danish relish known as "remoulade" - kind of a mayo and
pickles thing. And one of the things Danes abroad (such as Lars
Ulrich, drummer of Metallica) admit that they really miss.
This remoulade thing goes extremely well with stuff like deep-fried
fish and of course french fries.

If you're lucky, you can get them in Denmark. Imported.
(I like them a lot!)

--
"Woohoo, I'm a bonfils sig line, I'm a bonfils sig line!"
- Kirsten Bayes, absfg
http://www.bonfilsinmyhead.org
To send me a massage, first remove your.underwear. Thank you.

tartar sauce. Mayo and relish and mustard. some
make their own, others buy it in a store.

I gets 'em in New England.

--

Beth

(remove the, uh, "knot" to send me e-mail !-)

Just so everyone knows, several years ago, janL wrote the definitive
treatise on grilled cheese. It may be available on google (Ned?)
The very idea of ketchup on mac and cheese is blasphemous,
and we should speak of it no more.

Fred

I wouldn't touch that line with a ten-inch pole.

Fred

Yep - you're back to yourself ;)

I am glad you are keeping an eye on me :)

You give great eye.

This sure sounds a lot like what we call "Tartar Sauce."

Too late Fred...I not only touched it, I massaged it.

Ah, but do you know why that is for the majority - the two great
ones are ketchup and breakfast cereals that are crunchy?

It all goes back to our carnivorous roots. And the cue to eat
and the reinforcement for eating - ketchup reminds us of blood,
and crunchy breakfast cereals remind us of breaking bones as we
chew them with our teeth.

Ned

Maybe the Eucharist has something to do with the old hunting/
killing/sharing the kill sort of thing. Not only is Jesus the slayer,
but he is the slain, too, and the dominant member of the pack
as he is apportioned out in little bites. Ever notice the priest gets
the lion's share?

Just remember, if you strike me down, I will become more powerful
than you can imagine.

(Hey wait, maybe Jesus said that, too!!)

Ketchup belongs ONLY on hamburgers, cheap french
fries (and their less tasteful version "freedom
fries"), and fried balogna sandwiches.

You see no one doing that with french fries here,
but there is always vinegar available where french
fries are sold. At better shops, more than one
kind of vinegar.

Sounds a lot like tartar sauce, which is used on
fish but not chips, here.

Ah maybe they only import the good ones. I think
it's Miss Vickies that uses sea salt and malt
vinegar. That is a premium potato chip here, and
tastes quite good. Most of the others taste like
salty chips soaked in battery acid.

I was aware that victory fries (and freedom fries)
were Merkin inventions, and I can accept that
catsup might be, but really, mustard? Grilled
cheese, of course, is a European invention.
Merkins merely added the second slice of bread,
an excellent example of American ingenuity. "How
can we increase bread sales? Invent sandwiches
that have to be covered on both sides!"

You are either a man of refined tastes who is
mocking the poor culinary habits of others, or
you're as depraved as you seem.

Not to mention your hoo hoo.

Pete

Good god, man. If my tongue were any more firmly planted in my cheek, I'd
have a natural gurn going.

Pete (who also likes horseradish mixed into sour cream with chopped
chives...)

I have met the man -- hell, I've broken bread with the man -- and I vote
decidedly for the latter.

Pete

I knew that (the tongue thing not the gurn thing).

Horseradish is best served with a little roast
beef under it.

Amen, brother.

Pete (best Christmas dinner ever was a beef tenderloin roasted in a coating
of grated horseradish root and mashed garlic...)

And the Belgians. They would too. Yummy!

Best wishes
Kirsten

Beth:

Nah. Close, but not exactly the same.
I've checked out tartar sauce (known in this country as tartar sauce),
and it's different: Smoother - and more or less mayo-white (whereas
Danish remoulade is bright greenish-yellow
<http://www.danish-deli-food.com/images/r0373.jpg> - scary, huh?).

To confuse things further: In Berlin I've had something they call
"sauce remoulade" with fish - and *that's* tartar sauce as far as I
can tell.

Next, let me tell you about Kalle's Kaviar.

--
"I am two with nature."
- Woody Allen
http://kim.bonfils.com

Found a recipe, too - though the end result looks a bit pale:

<http://www.danish-deli-food.com/English/cookbook/recepdetail.asp?recid=153>

Ned:

Speaking of weenies, I want to know why I get so much spam on augmenting,
enhancing, enlarging, etc. etc. the erstwhile "weenie". Are there that many
teeny weenies out there? Or can't the frigging computer tell that I don't have
one in the first place? and while we are on the topic, (of enhancing,
augmenting, etc. etc.), why don't I ever see spam on enhancing the vagina? Or
the brain for that matter!

diane (don't get me started!)

Fred:

Hey Fred! Hozzit hangin'?

Diane

Diane:

Diane:

If you could enhance one thing only, what would it be?

And on the original subject of weenie-enhancement, I have only
one thing to say:

A few years back, at a time when Fen-Fen had killed three people
out of its millions of users, and was banned from the market for
it, Viagra was RUSHED through the approval process after already
killing SIX people in testing, and as of a year or so ago, had
killed 350 people.

So, you do see the logic here?

Ned

Differences in marketing. You find tons of breast enhancement
ads in the back of teen and women's magazines. Its the same thing
as many women who think their breasts are too small.

I saw a woman today (keep in mind that this is Palm Beach)
who had her abdomen liposuctioned to make her abs stick out.
It was so obvious.

There are very few people who are not somehow self-conscious
about their bodies.

those kind of people should have their bodies taken away from them and given
to someone more deserving.
heh

-NL
XNA

My strategy is to not act on it, it's almost as effective as not being
self-conscious to begin with.

Okay, who has read "Don't Bite the Sun" (and perhaps
the sequel "Drinking Sapphire Wine") by Tanith Lee?

Maybe you should start a belly gurn contest?

Or a belly*button* gurn contest. (hey, I'm "building")

Ned:

My brain.
I'd like to de-enhance my waistline.

It's the same kind of goofy logic that allows insurance companies to pick up
the tab for viagra but not my glasses or my crown. Apparently, it's okay for
me to be blind and toothless - but not okay for some wanker to lose a hard-on.

Diane (mad as hell, again, so what else is new?)

Diane, Diane, Diane....its for your benefit!

Once you are blind and toothless, he needs the viagra for you!

Well said. Stuff like this amazes me. And nobody blinks.
And I keep hearing about potential new 'women's' Viagra, but
I don't see any products on the market. Apparently nobody
really cares. It really is just about the hard-ons.

Ned

Bullshit bullshit bullshit. There is a helluva lot
of moral assumption there. How do you KNOW that those
glasses are ahead of male erections in priority? Isn't
that based on the assumption that one is more frivolous
than the other, like "excuse me but me seeing is more
important than you having some fun"?

Insurance companies are extremely practical. You can
bet there is an army of actuaries saying "men ejaculating
means reduced premature death or disability from
cardio-vascular and prostrate diseases."

Glasses you pay for once every year, at best, unless you
have fashion needs.

Masturbation or intercourse are things that need to be
done fairly regularly. Tough shit that they just happen
to be fun, too.

What a bunch of midwestern moralists.

No, I don't think they were being moralists - sex is extremely x100
enjoyable for most of us, but it isn't a necessity. Being able to breath and
take in nourishment are examples of necessities for human existence. I would
be way upset at losing orgasmic capacity - but I think the point that they
were making, is that compared to other things, men getting erections easier
(because face it, most are not taking Viagra for a full-blown dysfunction)
actually is frivolous compared to having a functioning set of chompers as an
example. Would I prefer a liquid diet if I had to choose between easier
orgasms and eating something solid? I don't know - and glad I don't have to
make the decision ;) But health insurance companies might be doing just
that.
Kitty

I verified this over lunch today (which involved fish, tartare sauce and a
young man from Denmark). Remoulade has all kinds of vegetables and pickles
and stuff in it.

Best wishes
Kirsten

I didn't know that anyone could eat French Fries without mozzarella
cheese, two fried eggs, gravy, and Tabasco sauce. mmmm...

But maybe Remoulade would help too.

Ben

--yes, that Ben

actually, saw an ad for it on TV recently. Rather
silly ad, fully clothed adults, woman bouncing on
bed, sort of stuff.

--

Beth

(remove the, uh, "knot" to send me e-mail !-)

Ooh, Tanith Lee I haven't read yet. Add those to
my wish list.

Actually, I have recently discovered the joys of fries covered in chili (the
spicy concoction, not the pepper) and melted cheese with hot sauce.

> --yes, that Ben

And which Ben might that be?

Pete

Ben
--yes, that Ben

The same men who could get viagra would also have to do
without those chompers, or pay for them themselves.

There are degrees of necessity in everything, seeing and
breathing included. Why wasn't the complaint that
insurance will pay for prescription acne cream, or any one
of a thousand other things that could be said to be less
important than glasses or chompers? Hell lots of
insurance plans just don't include glasses or dental at
all. It's a business decision as to what product they
sell.

The point isn't that the insurance companies are doing
this. It is just outrage that a mans sexual function is
insured in some way that something else isn't. The same
plan that doesn't provide glasses might also provide
birth control pills or Monistat. Would there be outrage
there?

Bottom line, you don't like your insurance plan get
another, don't turn it into a rant because of your moral
judgements about the necessity of peoples sexual functions.
That sword of judgement cuts both ways.

(BTW I'd bet large money that if someone studied it they'd
find that tossing off is the highest some mens heart rates
ever get, and that there is a strong statistical case that
that it is more of a necessity to them than good teeth.
Add mens partners and that's a lot of aerobics going on!)

Ok..so just let me get this straight - you place a man getting Viagra on his
insurance as an alternative for exercise? Even when it isn't for a
dyfunction but for pleasure...and as an alternative to getting off his butt
in front of a computer or TV to get some actual exercise? Also - even with
Viagra, I wonder how many fellas can hold their heart rate up aerobically
for the necessary 20-30 minutes three times a week to make a difference?

Give me a break - the issue is simply that in the US we pay outrageous
insurance premiums regardless of the kind we get. If a fella doesn't have a
legitimate dysfunction and wants to play - he should pay...just like the
rest of us for our recreational drugs.
Kitty

Done. (and "The Birthgrave" by her too)

[snippage]

You ate a young man from Denmark?

Pete (Ros til kokken!)

All threads in a.b.s.f.g eventually evolve toward masturbation or cannibalism.

Boinking with a chemical hard-on? Enough to be
statistically significant, I'd bet.

A doctor needs to write the prescription so it is by
definition NOT just play but restoration of function.
Now if you have an issue with how doctors will write
those prescriptions too easily, fine, but that is a
separate issue. As you would have it those who
needed it wouldn't have it paid for, either.

And if you recall I started out by saying that the
actuaries probably realize that there is a cost
benefit ratio to covering viagra. That's just a
neutral fact, if it's true. Of course I don't
suggest it as an alternative to exercise, but
statistically in terms of what it costs insurance
companies, it may be having that effect.

So how about birth control pills? Should they
be not covered because glasses are not covered?
Why did this complaint start with viagra instead of
any one of a thousand probably equally trivial
prescriptions?

(BTW I've never tried it but know a couple who
swear by it, not because it's necessary but
because it extends their play to hours. They
pay full price for it because they aren't on a
plan. Frankly I think I'd get sore. They must
have some intermission activities I think.)

That's in the US.
When I was in China, at the Xiangfan airport they were
selling it at the souvenier counter.

You're right- it is silly to pick on Viagra - there are a lot of other
things, but they aren't as much fun.

Face it (about your friend's testimony) - it's great stuff. I personally
think older men make better lovers in general to begin with, but add that to
it and woo hoo

Damn you Kitty, beating me to breaking off an
argument and admitting to just having fun doing
it! :)

Personally I wouldn't know if older men are
better lovers. At my age, I hope so!

Just think back to when you were 20 and now. I mean if one is looking for
quality rather than quantity ;)

Well I don't think your drug plan will pay for it
if you buy it that way.

(scary thought taking viagra just as you depart on
a flight to the USA...it'd be like Flesh Gordon!)

Oh its not the sex or the erections that makes for the exercise... its
cutting up and burying the bodies that is a lot of work.

Maybe you can eat something solid and have easier orgasms
at the same time.

PwahHah!

You know, you're right. Think I can write V off
as a business expense?

So I was masturbating to the movie Hannibal...

OR

So I was eating the actor from American Pie...

I always figured I was doing it wrong. Thank you.

Leave it to you to come up with a solution.

> "IamSpncycl" <iamsp...@aol.com> wrote

He ain't tryin' to get a woody just for him to jack off by himself,
now izzee? B'sides, who gets to have the party of her life after he
keels over from a 'happy viagra death?'

And look at it this way, your penis-envy is for a good cause, the
developed world needs to get the market fully developed so that 10-20
yrs down the road men everywhere around the world can get Viagra so
that Tigers & Rhinos
won't be poached to extinction.

Sandy:

> Once you are blind and toothless, he needs the viagra for you!

I've heard older men like to date the gals with full dentures
better...

--S.o.B.

I certainly could have done.

Best wishes
Kirsten

I don't know if it is a solution or a suspension :)
(cue "Flight of the Bumblebees")

Better that, than "Bum of the Flightelbees"

Best wishes
Kirsten

Sanfy:
>Diane, Diane, Diane....its for your benefit!

LOL!! Alright goddammit! Where is he then??

Diane

Maybe, because I can't get my drivers license without glasses? Does a man need
a hard-on to drive to work?

I'll bet your army of actuaries are prolly of the male persuasion.

Don't get me wrong. I think the insurance company should pay for viagra; it is
a medical prescription. Health insurance should also cover routine health
checkups, birth control pills, (some insurance companies don't), glasses, and
my crown!!

Diane

I've never met an insurance plan I liked! And it has nothing to do with my
"moral judgements"; it has everything to do with my pocketbook!

Diane

I think there would be a HUGE cost benefit to covering annual, routine health
exams. However, the plan of Blue Cross, Blue Shield where I work will not
cover an annual exam. One has to be sick first. Then the "tests" will be
covered. After the deductable.

Diane

Good one Kirsten lol ...and also maybe....
"Blight of the Fumblebees"

Kitty

If I were you, I'd think very hard about challenging the patriarchal
assumption that erections must be able to take place whenever, wherever the
oppressor wants one.

Our time will come <sssshhhh>.

Best wishes
Kirsten

Actually you are complaining about the wrong thing.
What you need is state-run basic medical insurance,
first.

What are auto insurance premiums like down there,
BTW? They have recently gone insane here.

Drive without renewing your license, then if you
get caught plead, in this order, "I couldn't read
the renewal notice" and "driving is necessary to
my livelihood". Try to avoid mentioning what your
livelihood is, exactly.

You are making my argument for me!

Ah, so you just plucked viagra out of a jockstrap.
Well, that's different.

Ah so then we shall have it that erections must take
place wherever and whenever our matriarchal oppressor
wants one. Hmmm. Don't rush me I'm thinking about
that!

It doesn't sound so bad, actually ...

(Oppress me! Oppress me!! Oh yeeeeessssss!!!!)

Yeah, it's been *quite* a while.

Can he have your phone number?

Pete

He's already got it!

Best wishes
Kirsten

Nice Euphemism! I like "go down on", myself, it doesn't have such toothy
connotations.

Kender (Just drunk enough to make a random dirty observation)

Loverly:

Shhhh! My Republican friends frown on that suggestion.

Mine are okay. However, my 24 year-old daughter (the one with the lead foot -
the one who has been to traffic school so many times she could teach it in her
sleep...) had trouble finding an insurance company that would grant her auto
insurance. Home owners insurance has gone up. The insurance rep says it's
because of 911.

Diane

Actually, it gets in the way of the steering wheel...

Yeah but with practice "look ma no hands!"