|
JosephWongKS posted:Speaking of which, is Vox Nihil in this game as well? I dont think he has posted in a while, the Dwarf Arena Challenge thread hasnt seen an update in a while. 
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2012 23:01
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 07:59 |
|
|
Man! I haven't checked back in awhile and I missed a lot! Minotaur attacks, a big rat got loose, drwarves died, I kicked rear end...
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2012 00:03
|
|
|
Jazzimus Prime posted:Rurik, who has been leading a search party for Antitonic, enters my office. Although Rurik has been unable to walk for a long time, he is still able to move around the fortress faster than most ambulatory dwarves can.  Too bad the skills more important to my career appear to be pretty rusty. But maybe I could start... a circus? "Come in everybody, come and see the amazing ropewalking crutch-dwarf! Just five dwarfbucks!"
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2012 08:50
|
|
|
Sorry I wasn't able to post an update this last weekend. I have a bunch of screenshots taken and should have an update tonight.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2012 19:21
|
|
|
How are we not all dead yet. I need to apply as the next overseer so that i can kill us good and proper.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2012 22:38
|
|
|
I might try and apply for the next turn too when the time comes. I'll drag this fortress into the (relatively) modern age of technology at the cost of worksite accidents that would make OSHA weep. Uh.. until the usurping of authority comes, all hail our great and glorious leader Jazzimus Prime! 
|
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2012 02:24
|
|
|
 26th Slate 243 So far no one has discovered the secret stack of orders I keep under the desk. They are all for ballista arrows. I pull one out whenever the Queen opens her mouth more or less and save myself a lot of time. Despite considerable temptation I have not adjusted the orders to specify arrows of bismuth bronze or rose gold, or with images of mosquito men embossed on them, even though I keep thinking Juc and Benagain might appreciate the variety. Aside from burning red mammoth's feet off the latest Overseer has not made a scandal of himself as yet. (Antitonic died horribly, but unless Jazzimus Prime has learned to breathe fire I think that cannot be pinned on him.) I may be biased since he seems to like my idea for a museum--though I did not get firm committal on the Hall of Mayors with or without a furnace. No amount of engraving myself on inappropriate walls would be quite the same. Oh well, the sneaky point is to have a big reminder of our history and why we're really here. Considering goblins are being thrown in the murk now such a thing couldn't hurt. Let's put evil in evil and get double the evil! Brilliant! Maybe next we'll try breeding a goblin zombie to a forgotten beast and get... you know, I don't want to even picture that. It would probably have half a head and five asses. The entry is interrupted by a sketch of a half-headed, five-assed goblin thing, and it is terrible.
|
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2012 04:34
|
|
|
Now I kinda want to see that drawn. A pity I have absolutely no talent and even less skill at drawing.
|
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2012 04:48
|
|
|
Vox Nihili posted:My hammer is at the ready if we need to thin a few "criminals" from the writhing, ever-growing mass of dwarves. As I Professor I volunteer my dwarf for any projects involving dwarven science, including first hand interaction with the murk. I laughed when I saw the names, funny coincidence.
|
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2012 05:05
|
|
|
 28th Slate 243 I meet with Leperfish in his office to review the registrations of the migrants. I remember having had to go through the same registration process two months ago.   Leperfish looks up from his papers. "So, Jazzimus, have a seat, and I'll tell you about the new migrants, many of whom have relatives that were already living in Bronzestabbed. "Steve is the daughter of Kaboom and Vorpal Swordfish, and the older sister of Slick Slinky.   "And Steve’s husband sharktamer came with her, he is the son of AmishSpecialForces.   "The miner LLSix arrived with his wife Shukaro.     "The clothier DorfXaos arrived alone.   "Wulles and his wife Niddhogg are the parents of MinorRed, who is already here at the fortress.     "Donkringel arrived with two pets, a goat kid and a blue peahen chick.   "JollyPubJerk arrived with a pet kitten, and is the younger brother of Pleky McDwarfson. He made the journey here with his wife UseBees.     "The cook Segway Rave and her husband Potato Jones made the trip together with their child Nemo2342.       "Debonaire Dwarf arrived with a pet lamb, and made the journey here with his wife Larz, who has a pet goat kid of her own.     "Esme the furnace operator and her husband Kennel, who actually works in the kennels, made the trip together with their son volmarias.       "Dr Tough made the trip alone, but her father Teddles lives here, as did her late mother Dareon.   "Lazy Trebuchet, the older sister of Ark, made the trip with her husband Schir, a cousin of Disproportionation. Lazy Trebuchet and Schir are the parents of ZeeToo, who already lives here.     "Penguingo, one of the best wax workers I have ever seen, made the trip with her husband Sighence and their child Viper.       "The surgeon Doctore Appel made the trip with his wife Danilh.     "And finally, ProfessorGroove and his wife HUNDREDHOGS made the trip with their daughter TheGroove. ProfessorGroove and HUNDREDHOGS are also the parents of Magrov, who already lives in Bronzestabbed.       "So, is everything clear?" "Uh... yeah. Sure. Perfectly clear," I reply. "I think I'll go have a drink now."
|
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2012 09:08
|
|
|
Why am I not dwarfed yet this is terrible abloohoooohooooooo 
|
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2012 09:21
|
|
|
I'm sure there will be plenty of openings later on. This fortress is due to have a dragon or something show up and kill half the militia or something like that. Honestly we have been getting lucky with FB and Titans. The hardest thing the fortress has really had to fight was the first minotaur due to relative newness of the fort and the fire chicken.
|
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2012 09:33
|
|
|
Aw yeah I'm a lady dwarf. Time to probably die horribly.
|
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2012 23:28
|
|
|
ProfessorGroove posted:I laughed when I saw the names, funny coincidence.
|
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2012 23:58
|
|
|
My dwarf is such a prima donna. He either has to be the opener of the first show for this opera we've made or else he needs to be sent to boot camp for a season and then left in the caves so he can man up against his fear of spiders.  At least I have a trophy wife!
|
|
#
?
Oct 24, 2012 00:42
|
|
|
Tanning, shearing, and threshing. So when do I get drafted into the militia?
|
|
#
?
Oct 24, 2012 02:53
|
|
|
I'm so glad there hasn't been an update in a while, it's been really great to not have a distraction from work and study for so long.
|
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2012 10:54
|
|
|
Yeah, drat, that paper Vox is writing is gonna change everything. Hey, wait a sec, this isn't that thread!! 
|
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2012 14:04
|
|
|
I have noticed as well and have sent Mr. Prime a strongly-worded letter. You may be assured that if he ignores this action by the
|
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2012 17:02
|
|
|
Can you send one to Vox as well, while you're at it? 
|
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2012 17:04
|
|
|
I'll forward your request to the appropriate subcommittee. I'm sure they'll act swiftly and decisively.
|
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2012 17:19
|
|
|
Are you sure you shouldn't first take a month to eat, a month to drink, a month to sleep, a month to go on break, and maybe by that time someone will throw a party you can join? 
|
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2012 17:21
|
|
|
There were no parties when I was overseer! Wait a minute, that explains it. Jazzimus cancels Oversee Fortress: Attending Party in Legendary Dining Room.
|
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2012 18:54
|
|
|
I'm working on another update, it should be ready tonight. Sorry for the delay.
|
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2012 23:25
|
|
|
Jazzimus Prime posted:I'm working on another update, it should be ready tonight. Sorry for the delay. Pshaw, hold it off another few days, make 'em squirm
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2012 02:28
|
|
|
Pozzo posted:Pshaw, hold it off another few days, make 'em squirm I think if he did that, he would have to forfeit his overlordship...
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2012 09:23
|
|
|
Arp1033 posted:I think if he did that, he would have to forfeit his overlordship... He had almost talked me into it, too. 1st Felsite 243 With 29 more bodies to house, clothe, and feed, I set the miners to work carving out additional dormitories for the migrants.  The design is similar to the pattern of the original dormitories. I hope the narrow hallways don't prove to be a problem. --- 7th Felsite 243 The Archivist enters my office. "Jazzimus, may I make one small request?" she asks. I sigh. "What is it?" "You know how you had ordered all of the excess animals to be sent to the butcher?" "Yes." "Uh... suppose if, say, there was one stray kitten that I had grown attached to, could it be spared?"  I roll my eyes. "If I start making too many exceptions like this, the fortress will be knee-deep in cats. This place is crowded enough already. But I'll make an exception, just this once." She seems pleased. --- 11th Felsite 243 While making my rounds about the fortress, I see K0npeito carrying a bin of trade goods to a stockpile.  "How goes the hauling?" I ask the dwarves. K0npeito grumbles. "Not well. Not well at all." "You don't like being a hauler?" I ask. "Oh, it's not that. I don't mind being a hauler. I know we can't all be heroes. And if hauling things is going to be my role, then I'll be the best drat hauler in the fortress." "So what's the problem?" "It's the layout of this place. The stairways, and most of the hallways, are just too narrow." "Really?" "Look, if there's one thing I know, it's hauling. It takes forever to get anything from point A to point B with all of the traffic in the narrow corridors. Especially when point A is at the forges and point B is near the surface." "Okay, I'll see what I can do about that," I say. "Oh, and there's one other thing," says K0npeito. "Yes?" "Disproportionation and I were hauling stones together the other day, and out of the blue she lets go of her wheelbarrow and walks away, saying that she had more important things to do. She hasn't been seen since."   --- 16th Felsite 243 ZeeToo, a military dwarf who lost her left leg some time ago and now walks with crutches, enters my office.   "Sir, an elven caravan has been spotted in the distance. They are approaching the fortress," ZeeToo says.  I nod my head. "Station the military at the front gates. Since the goblins like to schedule their attacks to coincide with the arrival of merchants, I want us to be ready in case it happens again." ZeeToo salutes and quickly makes her way back to the barracks to send the command. "You don't have to salute me!" I yell out the door to her. --- 20th Felsite 243 The archery tower northwest of the trade depot gives me an excellent vantage point. From here I can see the last of the elven caravan pull into the trade depot, as the One-Way Outs stand guard at the drawbridge into the fortress. The farmer Ohtsam walks out across the drawbridge, dragging an ogre skeleton with her to the refuse stockpile outside the gates. Apparently a few ogres were able to enter the fortress during a battle a few years back, and after they were dealt with, their bodies were left to rot in a tunnel that had fallen into disuse. I call down to the soldiers below. "Any signs of hostile forces?" Mr. Vile looks up at me. "Negative," he calls back. For a few moments, all is quiet, save for the bustling sound of elven merchants unloading their goods in the depot. And then we hear a scream. It's Ohtsam's voice. "Help! Ambush! Goblins!" 
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2012 09:39
|
|
|
The Groove family is strong! My dwarf may be very flimsy but he's a complete genius and the perfect medical dwarf. Good thing my faithful wife HOGSAGREE is good with the fighting! I'm sure our lovely daughter will go on to accomplish great things.
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2012 09:41
|
|
|
Why do goblins always show up at the same time as the caravans?
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2012 15:35
|
|
|
Bold Robot posted:Why do goblins always show up at the same time as the caravans? Perhaps the corruption of the other mountainhomes has progressed further than thought? Could those goblin invaders perhaps in fact have been part of the caravan until the time was right to show their true colors to take down this last bastion against their takeover?  Perhaps it would be safer if future caravans were... discouraged?
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2012 15:43
|
|
|
It is obviously an elven trap. Kill all of them.
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2012 02:40
|
|
|
Bold Robot posted:Why do goblins always show up at the same time as the caravans? Caravans tend to wander into ambushes that were already skulking around undetected.
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2012 03:10
|
|
|
I'm oddly enamored of how my dwarf keeps getting portrayed.
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2012 06:06
|
|
|
...wait, I finally made it to the last page? I feel both accomplished and oddly empty now. I don't suppose this fort will go on long enough for me to get dwarfed (only ~300 people ahead of me. But hey, things happen, who knows?) but I shall continue following along all the same. Its been quite a read thus far, anyway.
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2012 11:42
|
|
|
Obvious answer to caravan surprises - what I like to call "Atomic splitting airlock".code:= : bridge # : trade depot * : floor underneath bridge and depot | | : shaft > : direction raised It's a fairly simple and obvious setup - elves go into the depot and you have a dorf burrowed to an area with a bed, food and alcohol depot, table, chair etc. with a pressure plate and 2 levers in. His sole role is to be in a squad that is told to stand on the plate to spam the smashing bridge after the merchants have unloaded and the goblins come streaming in through the passage way. After that, he pulls the lever to lower the second bridge so the dorfs can trade. It should be fairly easy to implement, and it's my 2 cents on the possible problem (knowing DF the ambushes will stop as soon as you build it >,> ) It's worked for me in the past, but it never got past experimentation stage due to the circus coming to town so I acknowledge the fact that this is quite WIP-ey but it's fairly close to perfection.Would love to see this working in action, like a prodigal son come home. P.S. - this is intended as a replacement for lava flows, and is distinctly a TRADE entrance not a main one, the idea is the gobbos are lured in by the merchants, and the odd one that gets through should be easily taken care of by the guard. P.P.S. - if not dorfy (unnecessarily complicated) enough, then you could have the 4533josh fucked around with this message at 01:25 on Oct 29, 2012 |
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2012 01:10
|
|
|
There's a much easier way - stick the levers in the dining hall. You'll never have to wait for someone to pull them because there'll always be at least a dozen idle dwarves near them.
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2012 01:47
|
|
|
Neddy Seagoon posted:There's a much easier way - stick the levers in the dining hall. You'll never have to wait for someone to pull them because there'll always be at least a dozen idle dwarves near them. Derp. Didn't think of that, but (as having never tried it) can you spam levers effectively? Its just that I found a dwarf or two being told to run over a pressure plate (in a 1 tile corridor with turning space (blocked off with locked door when not in use)) repeatedly extremely effective in all 2 tests. If you can spam levers (queuing pull commands) then that'd be much better 
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2012 02:03
|
|
|
 You can set levers to be pulled repeatedly the same way you do for making things in the workshops
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2012 02:05
|
|
|
Neddy Seagoon posted:
Well that makes some of my designs needlessly complicated, but they're dorfy and I love them In the name of easiness though, amend the design with just a lever rather than a slave. Simple but effective wins overall but in the name of !SCIENCE! I shall continue to construct my own needlessly complicated mechanisms!
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2012 02:14
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 07:59 |
|
|
Finally I got to the last page. It took quite a while to read all this, but it was worth it. There's no chance I'll get dwarfed, so I hope everyone dies soon so I can participate in the next one  but in an awesome way, so everyone wins!
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2012 14:37
|
|
