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gently caress. My epitaph is a journal entry where I'm finally hopeful instead of pessimistic, and a requisition form. drat it. 
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Jul 31, 2012 20:04
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Black Griffon posted:gently caress. Are you kidding? A bright future ahead of him, set to leave the military and start a lucrative career crafting amazing wordwork, only to be cut down in battle along with his own mother, as his father and wife get their bones broken by the goblin invaders. That's, like, the best pathos yet right there!
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Jul 31, 2012 20:09
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Vox Nihili posted:So, what's taking so long on the armor front? Wasn't there also only one forge available for some time?
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Jul 31, 2012 20:10
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Black Griffon posted:gently caress. I know  I was really optimistic that if we took them on one little group at a time we would go without casualties until Tosca Cake died and you ran off with Tremendous Majestic and Source element. But all in all it went a lot better than it could have. Only five lost and three injured after a half-equipped half-trained mob of dwarves attacked 15 hammergoblins? Although now my dwarf is miserable in a hospital and will most likely crack soon. If he does then I will probably hand off the save as I don't really want to have to deal with transitioning to ghost-overseership or whatever. And no, its not because I was criticized.  Its a lot more work than I expected.
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Jul 31, 2012 20:12
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Tarox posted:Overseer gets pushed into attacking a mob of goblins and loses his wife and kid. What's his reward? He's now crippled. The Zaodai affair has been cleansed with blood, that's what. Note how much everyone enjoyed the death and destruction.
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Jul 31, 2012 20:16
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TildeATH posted:The Zaodai affair has been cleansed with blood, that's what. Note how much everyone enjoyed the death and destruction. As long as my two dwarven dads are ok, dwarf me is happy.  Oh and my mom too I guess...
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Jul 31, 2012 20:26
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FiddlersThree posted:Are you kidding? A bright future ahead of him, set to leave the military and start a lucrative career crafting amazing wordwork, only to be cut down in battle along with his own mother, as his father and wife get their bones broken by the goblin invaders. Oh, to be completely honest, it's a fantastic death from a storytelling perspective. For all the reasons you've mentioned, it's far superior to drowning or getting infected or anything like that. So I'm kind of happy with the way I died. I'm also happy because it provides more to the overall story than "Dwarf X, Y, and Black Griffon died charging the goblins". Dwarf fortress is an amazing story generator. But I'm not happy that I died of course, that goes without saying. I will just have to hope for an overseer position when I have the time, I love being part of the story. Zapdos posted:I know I'm incredibly curious to see how your dwarf deals with all of this. There were some pretty crippled overseers in Gemclod, and some who went hilariously insane.
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Jul 31, 2012 20:30
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Did the Goblins have high quality hammers? It seems like a draft is in order. Ordinarily, I like when we use weapons that aren't just the usual Hammers and Axes, but you can't really look a bunch of free warhammers in the mouth.
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Jul 31, 2012 20:31
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Well, poo poo. Thought I would last longer then this, but on the positive side, I at least went out in a blaze of glory  But poor Zapdos, losing both wife and son. Is there anyone else from the family line who is not dead yet?
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Jul 31, 2012 20:31
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Black Griffon posted:I'm incredibly curious to see how your dwarf deals with all of this. There were some pretty crippled overseers in Gemclod, and some who went hilariously insane.
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Jul 31, 2012 20:31
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Veryslightlymad posted:Did the Goblins have high quality hammers? It seems like a draft is in order. I havent checked but from the logs there were at least one copper, two silver and one iron. So probably a mix of those. We'll have more armor too! Tosca Cake posted:Well, poo poo. Dallbun our daughter, Star Guarded our daughter-in-law (very injured) and granddaughter Fiddler Three.
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Jul 31, 2012 20:33
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 What the gently caress was that? WHAT THE gently caress WAS THAT?!? HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING TO A GODDAMN WORD I'VE SAID?!? In case you idiots forgot, the PROPER dwarven archer offensive is to advance behind the melee dwarves. That way they get their skulls caved in while the valuable dwarves (archers) are free to snipe the enemy. In the event that the melee dwarves completely fail to do their job, you are to form a defensive sphere around me, as I hold the most important position as the squad captain. Instead, you morons paid no attention to the SCREAMING GOBLIN flanking us. The only dwarf that followed proper defense protocol was Tosca Cake, who boldly threw herself in front of the goblin so that she would be reduced to a pulpy mess instead of me. And yet despite her sacrifice I STILL have a broken leg. Over 10 years wandering the wilderness and I came out just fine. Less than 3 years here and my leg is hosed up. Who's fault do you think this is? Actually, I guess it is mine in a way for having even an ounce of confidence in this army. Every time I think I've seen the bottom of the barrel in this fort you idiots punch through the bottom and continue to disappoint. Internet Kraken fucked around with this message at 20:41 on Jul 31, 2012 |
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Jul 31, 2012 20:34
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Zapdos posted:Dallbun our daughter, Star Guarded our daughter-in-law (very injured) and granddaughter Fiddler Three. Who can't wait to join the family's warrior tradition, but who will hopefully have better luck by virtue of not being Weak or Very Weak!
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Jul 31, 2012 20:37
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 Aaaahahahahhahahhhhaaahahhahahahaaahah! DON'T BE SO CLUMSY NEXT TIME. LESSON OVER. CLASS DISMISSED.
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Jul 31, 2012 20:37
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Internet Kraken posted:Every time I think I've seen the bottom of the barrel in this fort you idiots punch through the bottom and continue to disappoint. Aw man, I hope the election isn't between Internet Kraken and Bad Munki, because I don't know who I'd vote for.
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Jul 31, 2012 20:40
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If I'm in charge, I know exactly who everyone will vote for. Oh wait, I just spotted the flaw in my plan.
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Jul 31, 2012 20:42
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Hah, the rise and fall of my dwarf as a warrior, all in one day! e; Someone look after the cheese
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Jul 31, 2012 20:56
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This thread has finally inspired me to play DF beyond the first wave of immigrants. I have now successfully flooded my fortress for the first time while trying to build a well, collapsing a good part of the floor above and killing four dwarves in the process. The rest killed each other in an orgy of violence in my dining hall in a tantrum spiral. I feel a much better player now.
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Jul 31, 2012 20:57
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Flooding a fortress is a coming of age thing.
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Jul 31, 2012 21:02
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Crassus posted:I feel a much better player now. Yeah, honestly the best way to learn DF is to just go hog-wild on your first few fortresses and try building absolutely everything until you collapse in a flaming tantrum spiral. Trying to play DF "right" while you're new at it will just mean it takes a lot longer to learn. When I was starting out every time I lost a fortress I felt like I understood the game much better than I did before.
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Jul 31, 2012 21:06
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Zapdos posted:
Dammit. Way to let your fellow soldiers down, Dorf Me. Everyone else runs off to fight, he chills out under a tree and passes out. Starting to question the exact type of "wood burning" he's been up to. 
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Jul 31, 2012 21:08
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Zapdos is miserable which you see very rarely so I'm looking forward to him going insane and narrating overseer updates as a gibbering lunatic or hopeless depressive.
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Jul 31, 2012 21:21
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Mortal Sword posted:Dammit. Way to let your fellow soldiers down, Dorf Me. Everyone else runs off to fight, he chills out under a tree and passes out. Starting to question the exact type of "wood burning" he's been up to.
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Jul 31, 2012 21:21
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Well, that was a lot more survivors than I was expecting.
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Jul 31, 2012 21:24
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Yes Zapdos, go mad from despair. My first judgement must be passed on the greatest dwarf, after all. 
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Jul 31, 2012 21:32
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Boing posted:Zapdos is miserable which you see very rarely so I'm looking forward to him going insane and narrating overseer updates as a gibbering lunatic or hopeless depressive. Hopefully they patch him up in time for his killing spree. quote:Aw man, I hope the election isn't between Internet Kraken and Bad Munki, because I don't know who I'd vote for. Vote Vox. I pledge to arm every dwarf in the fortress with at least copper xbows and bolts. An armed society is a polite society. If dwarf have crossbow this not happen etc.
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Jul 31, 2012 21:34
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One interesting aspect of the format we are using is that the goons who are the most eager and keen to get in on the DF LP action - and thus are high on the Dwarfing list - are also the ones most likely to be thrown at the early invaders and monsters, before anyone's skilled up to legendary or has really great armor. In other words, you get killed. Of course, later immigrants tend to be more anonymous, and they die from things that wipe out the whole fortress, so I dunno if that's any better. But the irony is that if you aren't dwarfed yet when your turn comes up as Overseer, you may have a better chance of having a live immigrant dwarf to play, than if you were among the earlier migrants. At any rate, it looks like Zapdos has elected to wrap things up fairly soon, since Obsidian is the last month of the dwarven year. So, gird yourself for another Overseer Draft in probably a day or two, give-or-take!
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Jul 31, 2012 21:39
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Early Winter, 236 I have never written a journal before, but it is Traditional to do so in my situation, and I, Apeynap Clutchstandards, have never been one to go against Tradition. You see... Lately there have been many tales of my uncle, i poo poo trains, and Bronzestabbed told around Shottome. My dear mother Tirius told me yesterday about these rumors and told also that she and Zaodai were planning to move to Bronzestabbed. Zaodai wanted to see his brother on the battlefield and Tirius was willing to move also. So, I have decided to move to Bronzestabbed. My dear Hutter is coming with me. Glory awaits at Bronzestabbed, I'm sure. The way I see it, if i poo poo trains is already a mighty soldier tales are told of, by the time I get there I'll be famous just by being his nephew. 20th Slate, 237 We're nearly there, and Hutter told me she saw a shady-looking human skulking around last night. I hope we get there in one piece. 25th Slate, 237 We've arrived at Bronzestabbed, and... well, I guess the best place to start is the fact that that human Hutter saw? Yeah, apparently he was cursed by the gods or something because just as we saw Bronzestabbed in the hills ahead, we heard a terrible scream and a huge hyena twisted into humanoid form charged at someone's pet sheep. It was fast, let me tell you, faster than anything I've ever seen before. I ran faster than I had ever run before as well. Everyone is safe now, though, thanks to the fine soldiers at Bronzestabbed. Especially that one Nomikos lady. I heard she lost her baby in the battle, but she saved us all. That baby is a hero, too. I can't wait to talk to i poo poo trains! 9th Obsidian, 238 Holy poo poo, I found this stupid book again. I thought for sure I'd lost it. So, journal, how about I tell you some of the things that have been happening in the last couple YEARS? Well, i poo poo trains died during OhCrap the first new overseer's term. May his memory live on forever. poo poo started going down with the fort, goblin ambushes escalating to sieges, cave exploration leading to much death, and so on. Then there came another new overseer, Zapdos. I was drafted into the Stormy Lancers, the squad of my father Zaodai. It was, and still is, an honor. Then later, Zaodai flipped the gently caress out and murdered someone. He was caught, Zapdos just seemed to know. I would never have guessed. He was chained up to the entrance for a while, I spoke with him a few times. He was not happy. He complained of thirst but I did not give him water for I had better things to do than serve imprisoned murderers, even if this one happens to be Father. Then he died. Someone really should have taken care of him.   I'm in a bit of a hurry now, journal, so I'll be going now. You see, I avoided fighting the recent goblin invasion and I think someone's coming this way to yell at me.
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Jul 31, 2012 21:49
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Leperflesh posted:At any rate, it looks like Zapdos has elected to wrap things up fairly soon, since Obsidian is the last month of the dwarven year. So, gird yourself for another Overseer Draft in probably a day or two, give-or-take! I'm so ready, and I've been training a lot, really ramping up my getting-selected-at-random technique. I feel like I've got a really good chance at things going my way this time. Put me in, coach!
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Jul 31, 2012 22:13
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The RNG seems to favor whoever signs up at the last moment, so you should wait until the last second if you want to be picked 
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Jul 31, 2012 22:16
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Leperflesh posted:At any rate, it looks like Zapdos has elected to wrap things up fairly soon, since Obsidian is the last month of the dwarven year. So, gird yourself for another Overseer Draft in probably a day or two, give-or-take! I thought we were starting turns in the fall for whatever screwy reason.
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Jul 31, 2012 22:20
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Another update where my career choice as not-military has been validated! At least, until an enraged overseer kicks down the door and bashes my head in.
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Jul 31, 2012 22:28
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John Dough posted:Another update where my career choice as not-military has been validated! At least, until an enraged overseer kicks down the door and bashes my head in. Also the next overseer really needs to be a canny miner who can find you assholes some goddamn Iron (at least). Just because the place has Bronze in the name doesn't mean you should feel confident in using that crap. You're basically reenacting 300 with dwarves at this point, and we all know how that worked out.
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Jul 31, 2012 22:36
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Recently signed up for the dwarfing list. I might even be tempted to try my hand at overseeing if not for my keyboard being on the fritz.  EDIT: Nakar posted:Also the next overseer really needs to be a canny miner who can find you assholes some goddamn Iron (at least). Just because the place has Bronze in the name doesn't mean you should feel confident in using that crap. You're basically reenacting 300 with dwarves at this point, and we all know how that worked out. I don't know, that was an impressive kill:death ratio the spartandorfs achieved, and it's also not like this fort is going to survive anyway (also, I remember reading that hoplites used limited amounts of iron, particularly their spear-tips. But I'm probably misinfirmed). SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 22:47 on Jul 31, 2012 |
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Jul 31, 2012 22:44
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Veryslightlymad posted:I thought we were starting turns in the fall for whatever screwy reason. We were, but now we wont.
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Jul 31, 2012 22:56
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SirPhoebos posted:I don't know, that was an impressive kill:death ratio the spartandorfs achieved, and it's also not like this fort is going to survive anyway
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Jul 31, 2012 23:01
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SirPhoebos posted:Recently signed up for the dwarfing list. I might even be tempted to try my hand at overseeing if not for my keyboard being on the fritz.
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Jul 31, 2012 23:09
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I really want to be picked. So I won't. It is when things are at their darkest that a hero must rise! And poo poo, we haven't even seen whatever hidden fun stuff has been packed into this mod yet!
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Jul 31, 2012 23:12
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17th Moonstone 238 Overseer finally catches Me and tries to Convince to Sleep in Own Fine Room. I am not Born Yesterday. 28th Moonstone 238 Another Bad Cow! Caravan Meatshield will protect! 5th Opal 238 Zaodai I do not Know if it was Melancholy or Negligence by Naked GNU Sheriff in Town.But Caravan Meatshield is a Success once again! Bad Cow is Dead! Now we just have to worry about Goblins. Big Frog of Goblins is not Seen. I think Leader of Goblins also got sick from Hopping. 8th Opal 238 Caravan Meatshield does not Work against Goblins for Merchants Leave. But it is first Failure. It is Good Technology for Last Hope. 26th Opal 238 Overseer re-announces opening of Mister Zaodai Memorial Reservoir. I hope it Works. 1st Obsidian 238 Overseer orders that we are to do Dead Goblins. I look forward to Glorious Victory. 9th Obsidian 238 DrMelon to do Remedial Archery, not correct use of Crossbow... oh, never mind  Internet Kraken to do Remedial Captaining, not correct use of squad .. or leg Zapdos to do Remedial Overseership, not correct use of fortress .. or Own Fine Family I do Make Own Fine Joke. But while losses are Hard, we do Make Victory for Last Hope. Somehow I feel Better than I have in a While. I am Sure it will not Last. But for this Moment, Life is Good. OhCrap fucked around with this message at 23:22 on Jul 31, 2012 |
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Jul 31, 2012 23:13
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Truly OhCrap is the finest dwarven comedian of our day.
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Jul 31, 2012 23:44
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