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Chickenfrogman posted:This overseer is awesome as all hell, great updates. You need a big iron spoon to hammer people with.
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Jul 19, 2012 23:12
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Bad Munki posted:You need a big iron spoon to hammer people with.  I imagine the dwarf version would be a spiked war hammer. The Hammerer being a cook is perfect.
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Jul 19, 2012 23:26
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OhCrap posted:I forgot to make note: this is the first log that displays one of the combat changes. Most facial features are now internal to the head and can no longer be targeted deliberately. Cheeks also made more sense as cheekbones, so this was made happen. I can't wait to see someone take a blunt object to the chest.
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Jul 19, 2012 23:33
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 The Journal of Log082, 15th Opal 277 I can't wait to try Bad Weasel sweetbread! Yum!
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Jul 19, 2012 23:35
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markus_cz posted:Well hello there. In a world where dragon and titan attacks are commonplace I think surviving any more than 50 years is an accomplishment.
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Jul 19, 2012 23:45
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OhCrap posted:Nomikos does Battle with Kangaroo! It is very one-sided and soon Kangaroo dead. A man boxing a kangaroo is a peculiar spectacle, but a kangaroo boxing a dwarf? Now I'm afraid you've lost me.
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Jul 19, 2012 23:53
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markus_cz posted:Well hello there. 
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Jul 20, 2012 00:08
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Qwo posted:Young enough for my tastes. "If there's grey in the beard, it's time to get weird"?
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Jul 20, 2012 00:40
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Pickled Tink posted:There are far better kitchen tools. Take the humble meat tenderiser for example. Tenderize those with hard hearts that sink to doing evil to a fellow dwarf! I expect a healthy series of Emeril style "BAM!"s anytime a dwarf is sentenced to a hammering.
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Jul 20, 2012 00:46
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This thread inspired me to write some awful poetry. Rhythm? What's that? The characters depicted in this ode are purely fictional. Any resemblance to real life figures In Bronzestabbed lies a brazen tomb Where rests a child brought to his doom Though voices still cry and hammers ring 'Tis of his death that we do sing The child's mother awoke one day The cavern was dim and the skies were gray She grasped the babe and she grasped her spear For the shout went up that danger was near Her courage held, her heart would not yield She blazed a path across the field She hefted her blade into her hand And charged into the evil land Ahead of her stood her foe His talons twitched, his head swung low And with the speed of an asp He rent the child from her grasp The creature's jaws crushed the child's head The land around was stained with red The mother's tears would have filled a moat Her spear ripped the villain's throat Soon the creature lay at her feet And in her grief she did bleat They bore the child back to his home And buried him there beneath the loam In his tomb the child sleeps In the halls his mother weeps Yes 'tis of his death that we all sing In Bronzestabbed where the hammers ring
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Jul 20, 2012 01:13
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I am one drat fine-looking Dwarf baby. A mighty fine baby, indeed. I just hope mom isn't into attachment parenting...
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Jul 20, 2012 01:18
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scamtank posted:I forgot to make note: this is the first log that displays one of the combat changes. Most facial features are now internal to the head and can no longer be targeted deliberately. Cheeks also made more sense as cheekbones, so this was made happen. I picture Vim Fuego's face drooping slightly, like he has had a stroke. Everyone is too polite to mention it as he goes about his business. Every so often while he eats, he bites into something hard and screams "Ow! My Face!" and other dwarfs pity him and assume he talks of his marred looks. It is an internal injury, though, that only a Chirurgeon could be sure to know of. It seems likely that Markus and Kaboom do not Chirurge. Markus sees broken bone and does splint. Kaboom does Set bone. And the Chirugeon does Fish. OhCrap Mountainmist has seemingly heard of tiny creatures that live in water and make sickness, so she knows that soap has some kind of importance. She apparently does not know of ice. I am not sure if she knows of Chirurging.  Chickenfrogman posted:My dwarf was worth the wait. Cook turned hammerer married to the Sheriff? Awesome. Chickenfrogdwarf does not seem to share GNU Sheriff in Town's ongoing concerns at the lack of cages and chains. Evidently one cage and one chain suit his personal needs. Chickenfrogdwarf busies himself with Hammering lye and Sheriff.  Van Kraken posted:He's a Bridge Necromancer! OhCrap Mountainmist: "Bridge is not Necromance because Stone." Bad Munki posted:If you Support Good Overseer, Necromance Hand. OhCrap Mountainmist: "Do not Necromance hand. Use soap on water to avoid Necromance hand." ddegenha posted:So, today at work I had a somewhat traumatizing experience ... causing us both to look at each other and go "Bad Weasel!" OhCrap Mountainmist: "Bad Weasel beating is Good." John Dough posted:A man boxing a kangaroo is a peculiar spectacle, but a kangaroo boxing a dwarf? Now I'm afraid you've lost me. I didn't post the combat log from Nomikos' bout with the Kangaroo. It's pretty short. Dwarf Kangaroo boxing involves sharp objects. `JimmyTheD' Zonlaz, Good Parent NOT Water Necromancer cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Item inaccessible. The Speardwarf stabs The Kangaroo Buck in the lower body with her -bronze spear-, tearing the muscle and tearing the stomach! The Speardwarf strikes The Kangaroo Buck in the left lower arm with her +bronze shield+, bruising the muscle! The Speardwarf stabs The Kangaroo Buck in the left upper leg with her -bronze spear-, chipping the bone! A tendon has been torn! The Kangaroo Buck falls over. The Speardwarf stabs The Kangaroo Buck in the right upper arm with her -bronze spear-, fracturing the bone! An artery has been opened by the attack and a tendon has been torn! The Speardwarf punches The Kangaroo Buck in the lower body with her right hand, bruising the muscle and bruising the stomach! The Speardwarf stabs The Kangaroo Buck in the right upper leg with her -bronze spear-, chipping the bone! A tendon has been torn! The Speardwarf punches The Kangaroo Buck in the left hand with her right hand, shattering the bone! The Speardwarf punches The Kangaroo Buck in the right lower leg with her left hand, bruising the bone! The Speardwarf kicks The Kangaroo Buck in the upper body with her left foot, bruising the muscle and bruising the liver! The Speardwarf strikes The Kangaroo Buck in the right lower leg with her +bronze shield+, bruising the bone! The Speardwarf stabs The Kangaroo Buck in the right upper arm with her -bronze spear-, tearing the muscle! An artery has been opened by the attack! The Speardwarf stabs The Kangaroo Buck in the left upper leg with her -bronze spear-, fracturing the bone! A tendon has been torn! The Kangaroo Buck gives in to pain. The Speardwarf stabs The Kangaroo Buck in the head with her -bronze spear-, tearing the muscle and tearing the upper spine's nervous tissue! An artery has been opened by the attack! A tendon in the upper spine has been torn! The Speardwarf stabs The Kangaroo Buck in the head with her -bronze spear-, tearing the muscle, shattering the skull and tearing the brain! A tendon in the skull has been torn! The -bronze spear- has lodged firmly in the wound! OhCrap fucked around with this message at 01:39 on Jul 20, 2012 |
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Jul 20, 2012 01:37
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Have we managed to scrounge up a sword for my dwarf yet, or am I still putting in training hours at the Dwarf-owned Osaka Seafood Concern?
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Jul 20, 2012 02:25
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22 Obsidian 237 Slick Slinky sat down on the bed not sure whose it was or if it even really belonged to any of the dwarves. His parents were probably off celebrating one great dwarven achievement or another. He had passed by a party at a malachite table on his way back from witnessing some idiot build a bridge that would surely bring about all of their end. Since arriving with the others he had listened to the adults talk in hushed voices about the murk and not right creatures. He wondered if it was time to open his present now. She had told him that it would make him happy at the end. Dwarves have died. Ugath said they would. More will come and more will die.
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Jul 20, 2012 02:26
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Zaodai posted:Have we managed to scrounge up a sword for my dwarf yet, or am I still putting in training hours at the Dwarf-owned Osaka Seafood Concern? OhCrap Mountainmist: "Zaodai Patrols proudly with +bronze short sword+. Zaodai is Skilled in sword." 
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Jul 20, 2012 02:35
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Oh, we have rations! OhCrap, have you seen them work? Do the patrolling/guarding/training soldiers eat and drink from their packs?
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Jul 20, 2012 02:44
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scamtank posted:Oh, we have rations! Actually I only just noticed that they hadn't been set active, so this is the first patrol. I also made some changes to the schedule. The One-Way Outs now patrol a month out from The Stormy Lancers. We need a 3rd squad for full patrol coverage.  Also, the training room-stroke-barracks is now a training room, with the dormitory next door converted to a barracks. The One-Way Outs are now designated to train there too. OhCrap Mountainmist has also designated an area that will be for archery practice. 
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Jul 20, 2012 03:14
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OhCrap posted:I picture Vim Fuego's face drooping slightly, like he has had a stroke. Everyone is too polite to mention it as he goes about his business. Every so often while he eats, he bites into something hard and screams "Ow! My Face!" and other dwarfs pity him and assume he talks of his marred looks. Qword goes home happy and, for once, does not beat his wife.
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Jul 20, 2012 03:18
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OhCrap posted:OhCrap Mountainmist: "Zaodai Patrols proudly with +bronze short sword+. Zaodai is Skilled in sword." Stabbin' Bad Weasels. Not just a pretentious prog-rock group anymore!
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Jul 20, 2012 03:21
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 From the Overseer Diary of OhCrap Mountainmist, 238, Bronzestabbed 1st Granite 238 El Belmondo rests in unfinished tomb.  Now that Bridge River done, investigation is made on fate of Bad Dwarf Bikindok. Mystery! Did Bad Weasel take Bikindok to lair for Cuddle? I do not know. I nod at Water hole. I must show Wisdom.  I do not Know why Butcher's shop must Outside. I order it do move.  I designate for do move Tanner's shop too. A Good Overseer ensures that Murk does not do Bad Weasel to dwarfs.  Room of Justice at Entrance is big and has many chains and cages. Surely GNU Sheriff in Town will cease his prattling of cage and chain shortage now.   Boy Ogress is sighted and no Lever for Raise Bridge ready! He heads to Bridge!  By Order of Overseer, militia will Deny boy ogress while do Levers and Traps!  2nd Granite 238 Boy ogress does not straight to Bridge. Boy ogress Wanders Wilds.  3rd Granite 238 Militia do Wait at Bridge but boy ogress Wanders Wilds away from Bridge.  4th Granite 238 Boy Ogress does Wander Wilds far from Bridge. Bad Munki complains of long Patrol. Militia do come back.  7th Granite 238 I order Tanner's shop do move.  I order test of Raise Bridge.  Raise Bridge is success!  Vim Fuego attests to Soap.  Hospital has much Soap.  10th Granite 238 Boy ogress waves from across River.  A Good Overseer does not Take Chances.  16th Granite 238 Murk? Where?  17th Granite 238 Oh.  LOOK OUT BOY OGRESS IT WILL BAD WEASEL!  Uh ... Bad .. Boy Ogress?  RAISE BRIDGE!
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Jul 20, 2012 03:25
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Oh my.
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Jul 20, 2012 03:29
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Well sheeeeit.
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Jul 20, 2012 03:33
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Dammit dude, I have to get on 21 hour trip to London in a couple hours and I'll have blueballs the entire flight if there's no update by then. 
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Jul 20, 2012 03:39
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I fear for the life of dorfme. Suddenly, pump operator sounds like a really good career choice.
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Jul 20, 2012 03:41
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Well, the good news is that my dwarf is just thirty sports away, and you've surely taken care of the ogre problem by then. Yep. Foolproof. Black Griffon fucked around with this message at 07:22 on Jul 20, 2012 |
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Jul 20, 2012 03:53
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This is the worst crusade against evil ever.
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Jul 20, 2012 04:01
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I was just thinking "man I hope that ogre doesn't get murked up"
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Jul 20, 2012 04:51
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We'll be fine. We have enough chains and cages to protect ourselves e- also worth noting that you referred to my dwarf as "he", but that should be she
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Jul 20, 2012 04:55
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Black Griffon posted:Well, the good news is that my dwarf is just thirty sports away, any you've surely taken care of the Come on, man. Use proper terminology. 
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Jul 20, 2012 04:56
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What I figure the bad boy ogress looks like
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Jul 20, 2012 05:10
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Colon V posted:And still decided her best course of action was to drink her baby. Well everybody knows dwarven baby juice is even more refreshing than coconut water. 
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Jul 20, 2012 05:27
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Fort prediction: goblin ambush occurs next update and murders nearly everyone because of a lack of walls. Bad ogre will buddy up with his buddy bad weasel and bad kestrel to point and laugh.
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Jul 20, 2012 05:46
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OH GOD BAD BOY OGRESS WE'RE DOOMED Do zombies need to breathe? Will bad boy ogress simply wade across river using water necromancy?
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Jul 20, 2012 05:58
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From the Overseer Diary of OhCrap Mountainmist, 238, Bronzestabbed 18th Granite 238 Pleky McDwarfson does Gather wood, but sees Murk and Bad Boy Ogress and runs home.  Bridge Raise Denies Bad Boy Ogress!  JimmyTheD and Markus_cz pulled Lever together! They earn Extra Soap!  Murk murks. Murk can do Bad Weasel and Bad Boy Ogress. I think that Murk could make Bad Dwarf, or Worse Dwarf if already Bad Dwarf. By Order of Overseer, Do Chop Tree near River is Forbidden.  Why does Murk not do Bad Fish?  Murk comes far over River! Please go away Murk. Do not do Bad Dwarf.  Murk is Heeding!  19th Granite 238 Bad Boy Ogress crankies at Raise Bridge. I do not Heed.  21st Granite 238 While Dwarfs make Archery Range, I ask Internet Kraken to Use Bad Boy Ogress over River to Practice.  23rd Granite 238 SirPenguin and Olesh report Bad Boy Ogress cannot be Seen. Bridge can Unraise.  24th Granite 238 I have?  Oh. I recall order of Miners to find Spiders. Spiders are now Found.  Can Murk do Cavern? I do not know. I order do Hatch.  27th Granite 238 The Archivist does Parent!  Welcome to Bronzestabbed, Antitonic Humidwhip, daughter of The Archivist Paintcastle and Tunicate CalledTool!  28th Granite 238 I order that Nakisstukos be Placed on a Pedestal in Meeting Hall.  1st Slate 238 Babies Revenant Threshold and Triple A do Grow. They do Child now.  3rd Slate 238 Reservoir is Made!  Nethtalinsokan, floodgate of Leperfish, stands ready to Deny water.  I order Final Channel to do water under fortress.  4th Slate 238 Nethtalinsokan Denies water!  JimmyTheD to Pull Lever and Announce open of Mister Memorial Reservoir.  JimmyTheD seems pleased.  5th Slate 238 JimmyTheD does his Job well and Water does move.  6th Slate 238 I order do Archery Targets in new Archery Range.  7th Slate 238 Child Slick Slinky Dwellinghatchet does Grow. He is son of Vorpal Swordfish Swordweaver and Kaboom Pulleyplains. He now does Peasant.    10th Slate 238 I am pleased that Gnu Sheriff in Town is finally pleased.  18th Slate 238 Water does move to fill reservoir. I order to do Well for Raise and Soap water.  21st Slate 238 Grant has arrived, according to one of the dwarfs. Who is Grant? 
OhCrap fucked around with this message at 14:01 on Oct 5, 2012 |
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Jul 20, 2012 06:43
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OhCrap posted:Why does Murk not do Bad Fish? All fish are Bad Fish. Heed heed! Stab bad fish in their tiny faces!
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Jul 20, 2012 06:48
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Bene Elim posted:I love the way OhCrap is writing his Dwarfatar. I get this image in my head of a little dwarfess standing in the corner jumping up and down screaming 'HEED! HEED!' while everyone ignores her. Well I did it pretty lazily but here you go. (sorta) 
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Jul 20, 2012 06:50
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Welp new avatar time for OhCrap, clearly. Man. I'm surprised that we're getting dwarven kids that actually live to grow up. Usually we suffer a lot more kiddy casualties before that happens.
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Jul 20, 2012 07:00
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This is awesome OhCrap. Keep it up!
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Jul 20, 2012 07:06
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Lord_Ventnor posted:Come on, man. Use proper terminology. It is clear that I did Bad Terminology, but was it Murk that did Bad? I blame Murk.
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Jul 20, 2012 07:28
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Zaodai posted:All fish are Bad Fish. Heed heed! Stab bad fish in their tiny faces! last one from me for a while.  it looks a little like leper fish. COINCIDENCE? (probably)
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Jul 20, 2012 07:29
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