Terranova's Spiritual Awakening

Well, it's March 15th and I've been on a low cal, low-sugar diet for 3 weeks and have lost 15 lbs so far.   I loathe low-cal diets and have nurtured a Low Carb website for nearly ten years but alas, while I have made some progress, I am still fat.  It's not so much the diet as the person, I am afraid.  With my recent diagnosis, I have to curtail fat and red meat, which makes for a rather boring (and dangerous) lowcarb regime.  I am unable to digest heavy fat these days. Sad but true.   So I have tried to combine the best of both worlds and by necessity eat less fat and more vegetables.  Rob is still pursuing his No-Carb regime with much success. He kept off his initial losses and begins this latest discipline at about 280 lbs.  I gained back about 38 lbs.  OK so I ate nearly non-stop in Hawaii  I admit, lol. And I was a bad girl during the holidays.

I am eating approx 1800 calories a day. Plenty of protein (20-25%) and about 30-35% fat. The balance is about 200 carbs.  Have averaged about 5lbs  week loss for the 3 weeks.  I could drop lower but don't want to invoke starvation-mode.  My rate of loss is comfortable right now and I have only had a few issues with hunger urges.   I'm concentrating on developing a healthy lifestyle rather than focusing on dropping massive amounts of weight quickly.  But I am still smoking.  I have switched to rolling my own, which has reduced the amount I smoke to about 1 pack a day.

I am also embracing my spirituality after going through a short agnostic phase.  Redefining my spiritulity, I spose, as well.  I  am pagan.  I've come to terms with that.  I love the ritual and reverence of more classic religions, but in my heart I am pagan to them.  One fantasy is as good as the rest, even without massive peer pressure urging the story along.  So why not develop my own based on what I can believe?  And so I am.

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<~~ HAWAII 2007

Michelle and I had a blast!

Can't wait to go back!

Been planning our faire season for 2007.  We'll be in Calaveras county in March, then nothing until June 1st, Valhalla.  But that's a long fair (2 weeks) and a great way to get into the season!  Most of the fairs fall in July, Aug, Sept and Oct.  Leah won't be running volunteers at Valhalla and Golden Gate, but I hope to be working them for RP, as well as performing with DM. Rob plans to work with Rellie in Valhalla and at Golden Gate. Leah has also posed a possible gig helping her at the sword booth, which would be the ultimate awesome deal!

I have been also planning our next vacation but can't decide between Hawaii or New Orleans.  There are lots of good reasons to do either. I'm, of course, leaning toward Hawaii even though it would be more expensive. I'm looking forward to taking a romantic holiday with Robert.  Just gotta decide where!  Rob is open to both destinations.  We're thinking about going to New Orleans around Halloween, figuring there's no spookier spot in the US to celebrate.  Or we go to Hawaii during Thanksgiving, most likely on another cruise.   Such a dilemna...  lol

So my favorite fantasy passtimes aside, this year I really need to refocus on my health. Thinking about beginning in earnest during lent.  It's as good a time as any, lol. And it's coming up fast!  February 20, 2007 is Mardi Gras. Lent begins the 21st.  I just gotta do it or I won't be able to survive the fair season, much less the decade.

Aloha a hui hou!

Barb

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Christmas is here again. The year went by so quickly, but was filled with wonderous memories, new friends and fun adventures. And bittersweet passings. Charlie Cook, Stan the Turkeyleg Man, Shadow and

I recieved some sad news this week. My father passed away last Wednesday. He passed away as the sun ended it's yearly trek around our planet and was reborn into the after life as the sun began its new journey. Aloha oe, Daddy. I miss you.  I will danse for you this spring.

Art Cusic: Dec 2, 1920 - Dec 20, 2006

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At least next year starts with a bang! I'm off to Hawaii with Michelle for our once in a lifetime pilgrimage. Then off to Nebraska with my son and brother to sort out my dad's estate.  Early February is Bill Watter's Renaissance Symposium, then in March is the Ren-Feast with Mark and Rusty Swords, and then Faire season opens in Calveras county!   Hopefully I can drop some more weight this year, and quit smoking. Thise two are top priority for me this year.

ALOHA!

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One of my greatest dreams in life is to make a pilgrimage to Hawaii .  I'd like to spend some significant time in the Islands learning about my heritage and the Hawaiian culture.   I think it would be a very enjoyable, healing and spiritual experience. 

I am a Hawaiian descendant. I have traced my maternal line directly back through 5 generations to a Hawaiian woman known as Kame born in the early 1800's on Maui.  There are no earlier written records about my maternal lineage. The documents show that Kame married an Englishman name Jack Pennington.

My mother was born in San Francisco in 1919.  My grandmother (Nana) was born on Oahu in 1898 and came to San Francisco with her mother after the great earth quake in 06.. My Great-grandmother (Alice) originally came from the Island of Maui. Her mother's name was Eliza. Kame was Eliza's mother.

I have yet to visit my maternal homeland. I feel very drawn to the Islands and have wanted to visit for years but for one reason or another  I haven't been able make the trip. I am the baby of my generation, so unfortunately all of my Aunties who lived in Hawaii have passed away.  Still, I am determined  to make the journey. As I age the desire grows stronger.  

My daughter also wants to visit the Islands after she graduates in 2007.  I would like to go with her if at all possible. We want to get copies of family birth certificates to register as native Hawaiian descendants and learn all we can about our Hawaiian heritage. Just to touch the soil of our maternal homeland holds deep meaning for us.  We both feel these are a very important things to do- silly ? Maybe.  But we both feel compelled .

Over the past decade I researched Hawaii pretty thoroughly and found an IDEAL place for my pilgrimage.  My destination is called Kalani Oceanside Retreat located on the big island of Hawaii. My daughter isn't  as excited about a holistic, clothing optional, Yoga retreat as I am.  She would rather do a more traditional vacation. I can understand she wants to play at the beach and nightclubs to meet the boys, lol. 20 years ago I would have had the same agenda. But at this point in my life I am drawn to an experience more like Kalani appears to offer. Hopefully we can make our journey  to Hawaii together. One way or another I am determined to make the trip.

So, I have decided to make my pilgrimage a priority in my life. Maybe not this spring, maybe not even at Kalani, but I will be going soon!

ALOHA!

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Been so long since I updated here. I've been keeping  My Place at MySpace  pretty much up to date. Lots of pictures of my adventures this summer. Had an awesome time doing the Renaissance Faires and plan to do it all again next season!

Autumn & I at Casa de Fruta ......................Rob n Me at Golden Gate Park

Just finished adding this webpage: Terranova's Holiday Scrapbook to the internet.  It has a couple projects the kids and I did for Christmas over the Thanksgiving weekend. 

Also, I did some updating to my Saturnalia website: Io Saturnalia! Roman Cuisine  and to Historic Cookery.

Have a HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON!

Aloha,

Barb

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I joined Danse Macabre Guild. I was lurking for a few months on their mailing list and decided to join them in the danse! I planned to go to SLO faire but my biopsy tales priority, so I'll be with them in Willits instead.   Been working on my costume. I ditched the pink skirt and made a black one. I may also ditch the wool talkbard and hand it down to someone else.

Next weekend we are going to Charlie Cook's memorial. He was at Valhalla and I had the pleasure of working with him during the School Presentation.  He's a long-time member of the Nor Cal fair scene. I was very saddened to hear of his death.

My Faire Pics: Lusty Wenches and the Lairds who Worship Them

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VALLHALLA! We had a complete BLAST!

Pics here: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog&friendID=56985057&blogMonth=&BlogDate=&blogYear=&Mytoken=67083DFD-101A-705A-8003B42027B5E2E661864321

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Now is the month of Maying,
When merry lads are playing.
Fa la la...
Each with his bonny lass,
upon the greeny grass.
Fa la la...
The Spring clad all in gladness,
Doth laugh at winter's sadness.
Fa la la...
-   Thomas Morley, Now is the Month of Maying

May is here!  I am back in Davis feverishly planning for Faire next month. The Whole Earth Festival is also coming!  My daughter and son have joined the Karma Patrol this year. I'll be sure to take pics and post 'em.

I've decided to take Autumn with me to work at Faire. She was very helpful last year and is really looking forward to going. I bought her a new dress (it's being created as I write).
This year I bought the dress from  The Medieval Market.  It is an adorable burgundy Irish dress with matching sleeves:

I also like the clothes at The Renaissance Store ®, but I was very taken with the The Medieval Market 's selection.  Someday I'll splurge on a really nice court dress. They run about $500 for a complete outfit. Someday... when I lose weight.

May 20, 2006

Had a fun at WEF this year. Michelle volunteered. Getting geared up for the Rennaissance Faire. Had a rough week last week. Just too many things all at once. Michelle got into a car accident and totaled her better car. Then Rob's uncle died in a car accident- was horribly tragic. Then dealing with Student Loans.... argh. 

So I am thinking about counseling at Kaiser. I will not do meds, but maybe couseling is a good idea.  HEH  probably just ruins my chance for transplant down the road.

NAMASTE!

ALOHA!

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"A gush of bird-song, a patter of dew,

A cloud, and a rainbow's warning,

Suddenly sunshine and perfect blue--

An April day in the morning. "

~ Harriet Prescott Spofford ~

Easter 2006 w/ the outlaws:  Jim, John, Barb, Jack, Billy, Mako

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ORGANIZE:

Sort Out Junk
Books
Clothes
Holiday Boxes
Sewing Stuff
Kitchen
Memrobilia
Knick-knacks
Art
Bathroom
Tools
Camping
Furniture

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I registered for Skyline College today. I'm doing it! I am going to get a 2 year degree in Journalism. I plan to go back for fall and winter, then will spend spring in Hawaii @ Kalani. Then come back here and do the WEF & Ren-Faire in the summer, then back to school in fall.  I want to take my time and enjoy learning.

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Paramhansa Yogananda
1893 - 1952

"Smiling away your troubles requires a clear conscience
that harbours no insincerity. "

"Inspiration generates inspiration. It gives of itself to whatever it touches."

"Let thy smiles pulverize to atoms the rocks of sorrow "

The Yogi

My Nana was very close to Paramhansa Yogananda. He was a frequent visitor to her home on Ashbury  St. in San Francisco during the  20s and 30's.  My mother  and aunt used to sit on his knee when they were young girls. My mother told me she would never forget his deep, beautiful, smiling eyes like sparkling orbs of magic that gazed straight to the soul and spoke directly to the heart.

Aprill 1

April 28

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JUST FOR FUN!     What Tarot Card Are You?

   I am The High Priestess                          

My Results:

You represent mystery - secrets that are yet to be revealed.
You find yourself sitting between two worlds: one dark, one light.
You tend to hold these two worlds in balance, reconciling the two.
Open and welcoming, you invite others to learn your secrets.

My fortune:
Something hidden, or latent, in your life is about to come forward.
You need to pay more attention to your dreams, thoughts, intuition, and imagination.
And if that involves tapping into your dark side, it will all balance out in the end.
You have a lot of potential dying to be unleashed, so let those gates open!

Today I renew my commitment to healthy living. It's fitting that today is Ash Wednesday. I'm overdue a good purge & fast.  Last year I quit smoking, this year I quit drinking alcohol. And I have much more to do this year.

Furthermore, I commit to 1 hour a day of physical movement: stretching, walking, Pilates, Yoga, swimming, etc., to total 60 mins per day.  Foodwise, I commit to eat four healthy, moderate meals per day, at least 1500 calories and no more than 2000. Carbs will be limited to 2 servings per day, preferably whole grains. Meats, poultry and seafood will be lean, fresh, and free-range or wild when possible. Because of my swelling, I need to monitor my liquid intake-- I simply cannot drink a gallon of water everyday.. Salts, especially preservatives will also have to be limited.

Rob has also recommited himself to a healthier lifestyle. He's been back in touch with Bear and is on The Bear diet once more. He's already dropped about 10 lbs. I am so proud of him! 

It's time for both of us to get serious about our health. I'm frightened but hopeful about our future. I want us both do thisand improve the quality of our lives. Just sometimes it's hard to fight years and years of bad habits and destructive self-talk. Sometimes I really feel worthless and undeserving of a "good" life. I guess we all struggle with self-esteem issues. I even bet lots of us just stumble through life until we die from illness, accident or self-neglect without ever really figuring it all out.  Guess I'm getting a little morose...  *laughs*.

~ * ~

Still working on the Biography.  I wrote a rough draft with pen but transferring it all to the net has been more involved than I planned. I don't think I will be able to get  all 46 years into a 25,000 word entry.  I keep remembering things,  and I am trying to make it a readable story and not just a collection of discordant memories and facts --  I hope, anyway! I'm  insecure about my writing skills, sorry *laughs*  I don't claim to be a talented writer, but I am compelled to write things -- web pages and journals and omg even short stories and poems from time to time. And now this Biography.

~* ~

Still staying at my daughter's in Davis. Did I mention she was the devil?  *laughs*  Love her blue hair.. I want blue hair!

 Son ~~> 

March 17, 2006

~~> My Hubby My Blue Hair!! 

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