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The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life Paperback – August 19, 2004

by Les Carter (Author)

4.6 758 ratings

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It's easy to identify rage in people who lose their temper at traffic jams, unruly children, unresponsive coworkers, and unrealistic bosses. But we may not recognize more subtle manifestations of anger, such as being uncomfortable with loose ends, acting impatiently, or being overly critical. That is anger, too. And, as is so often the case, angry folks don't seem to realize that the behavior causing them problems at home or at work actually stems from unrecognized and unresolved pain and emotional injuries from the past. Is all this negative emotion inevitable, or are there choices about how to respond, choices that can improve personal relationships as well as emotional health?

The Anger Trap is a landmark book that strips away the myths and misconceptions about anger and reveals how you can learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy anger so that you may choose—or help someone else to choose—a better, more spiritually enlightened path. The Anger Trap examines the root causes of anger and can help you realize your patterns and break the destructive cycles of criticism, frustration, and irritation that hurt you and others around you. Drawing insight from timeless spiritual wisdom as well as cutting-edge research, Dr. Carter offers practical techniques to free you from anger, its hidden insecurities, fears, and selfishness and thereby improve the quality of your home and workplace life. The book clearly illustrates how the change process works and The Anger Trap is filled with real-life examples of the ways people have come to terms with their anger by applying the concepts Dr. Carter outlines.

Print length

224 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Jossey-Bass
Publication date

August 19, 2004
Dimensions

6 x 0.51 x 9 inches
ISBN-10

0787968803
ISBN-13

978-0787968809
See all details

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Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Free Yourself from THE ANGER TRAP

Dr. Les Carter-nationally recognized expert on the topics of conflict resolution, emotions, and spirituality, and coauthor of the bestselling The Anger Workbook-has written this practical book that shows how to overcome unhealthy anger and improve relationships. With gentle spiritual wisdom and solid psychological research, Dr. Carter guides you to creating a better, happier life for yourself, your family, and your coworkers.

The Anger Trap is a masterfully written book, offering penetrating insights into the factors that can imprison individuals in unwanted patterns of frustration. With his well-developed insights and using case examples, Les Carter carefully explains how you can change your thinking, your communication, and your behavior as you release yourself from the ravages of anger gone bad.
--from the Foreword by Frank Minirth, M.D.

Les Carter has assimilated his years of experience counseling people trapped by anger into a book that I believe will prove helpful to many readers. The Anger Trap offers fresh information and understanding that can lead to recovery and reconciliation.
--Zig Ziglar, author and motivational speaker

Have you ever looked in a mirror and said 'I don't like what I see!' This book reflects a number of myths we 'wear' and shows us how to trade them in for the real truths.
--June Hunt, radio host of Hope for the Heart

The best book on anger out there. Five stars!
--Dr. Tim Clinton, president, American Association of Christian Counselors

From the Back Cover

Free Yourself from THE ANGER TRAP

Dr. Les Carter-nationally recognized expert on the topics of conflict resolution, emotions, and spirituality, and coauthor of the bestselling The Anger Workbook-has written this practical book that shows how to overcome unhealthy anger and improve relationships. With gentle spiritual wisdom and solid psychological research, Dr. Carter guides you to creating a better, happier life for yourself, your family, and your coworkers.

"The Anger Trap is a masterfully written book, offering penetrating insights into the factors that can imprison individuals in unwanted patterns of frustration. With his well-developed insights and using case examples, Les Carter carefully explains how you can change your thinking, your communication, and your behavior as you release yourself from the ravages of anger gone bad."
--from the Foreword by Frank Minirth, M.D.

"Les Carter has assimilated his years of experience counseling people trapped by anger into a book that I believe will prove helpful to many readers. The Anger Trap offers fresh information and understanding that can lead to recovery and reconciliation."
--Zig Ziglar, author and motivational speaker

"Have you ever looked in a mirror and said 'I don't like what I see!' This book reflects a number of myths we 'wear' and shows us how to trade them in for the real truths."
--June Hunt, radio host of Hope for the Heart

"The best book on anger out there. Five stars!"
--Dr. Tim Clinton, president, American Association of Christian Counselors

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Jossey-Bass; 1st edition (August 19, 2004)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0787968803
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0787968809
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.51 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #204,136 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #116 in Anger Management Self Help
- #549 in Emotional Mental Health
- #758 in Emotional Self Help

Customer Reviews:
4.6 758 ratings

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Les Carter
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Dr. Les Carter is associated with the Minirth Clinic Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Richardson, Texas. He is specially trained in the treatment of emotional adjustments and relationship problems. He is the author or coauthor of several books, including the bestselling The Anger Workbook.
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Dr. Les Carter
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and psychotherapist who maintains a counseling practice in Southlake, Tx. He has conducted many workshops and over 60,000 counseling sessions. He specializes in anger management and relationships influenced by narcissism.
See more on the author's page

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5

758 global ratings

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International Roamer

A Paradigm Shift Going Forward

Reviewed in the United States on July 21, 2019

Verified Purchase

Another wonderful, insightful and helpful book from Dr. Les Carter. His books and YouTube videos have had a tremendous impact on me and helped my husband and I to pinpoint, discuss and work on reconciling/resolving some issues that have been constantly bubbling to the surface for decades. At last, we realize how to recognize that the way we deal with anger is as much our problem as what caused the anger.

We’ve also recognized that anger has many forms and the inward boil and passive aggressive behaviors of one need to be owned and dealt with as much as the outward explosions of the other. Let’s say that it’s easy to sit back and judge the screamer as “angry” without recognizing ones own issues with anger. This book lays it out in a clear, understandable and relatable way and gave us the tools to facilitate change. Best of all was that we were able to see our faults and move forward in a positive way. It takes work, as old habits are hard to break, but we now have hope along with our resolve and are communicating with active listening much better.

Clearly a game changer.

23 people found this helpful

Helpful

Darren Mart

Not a quick fix, but exactly the blueprint I needed

Reviewed in the United States on September 6, 2017

Verified Purchase

First I should establish that I'm not much of a reader and I've never read a self-help book before. So it's really saying something that I finished this book in two days. Not only was it exactly the book I needed at this moment, it was written with exactly the approach I needed to read.

For more than twenty years there's been a clear pattern in my relationships, a pattern where my insecurities and unresolved issues set the stage for childish and destructive expressions of anger. There were plenty of times when I had legitimate reasons to be frustrated, but as Dr. Les Carter rightly points out, the legitimacy of your viewpoint is sabotaged the very instant you resort to aggression.

It goes beyond sabotaging your viewpoint, actually. If you don't train yourself to choose constructive assertiveness over destructive aggression, you'll sabotage your reputation, your relationships, your career, your chance at inner peace.

It's been obvious to me that I needed to change, but I had no idea if such change was possible or if I was just "wired this way." This book has convinced me that the journey is indeed possible. Is the book a quick fix? No. It's a well-articulated outline of key distinctions, goals, and testimonials that will serve as a blueprint for growth -- if you'll allow it to be. As for me, I'm committed to absorbing and implementing its content for the rest of my days. I'll know it helped change my trajectory when I've successfully established the healthier habits described within. Like not letting emotional impulses overpower my brain. Like ditching narcissistic and controlling behavior. Like preserving the dignity of those I interact with, even those who frustrate me the most.

You'll find that the book doesn't sugar-coat things or trivialize the destructive impact of anger, yet it's not written in a way that scolds you from cover to cover. There's plenty of room for optimism amidst the brutal honesty, something I really appreciated as I finished the last chapter. For the first time in my life, I have a sense of hope that I'll conquer the expressions of anger that have sabotaged me all these years.

146 people found this helpful

Helpful

terryrt

Practical

Reviewed in the United States on September 2, 2011

Verified Purchase

This book deals not only with self anger and inappropriately using it toward others, but illustrates as well how to deal with people who initiate the anger toward you. Of the latter, there are two possibilities, (i) people whose anger can be disarmed through patience and by not reflecting a second anger back to them and (ii) people who cannot be disarmed, they are too upset and angry to be disarmed no matter how mollifying you may be (i.e. someone drunk and belligerent). Thus it covers both possible directions of anger, your own and other's anger.

One can read a book and wonder what benefit is actually accruing to your subconscious as you go along. About 2/3 ''s of the way through the book, I was confronted by a person, spoiling for an argument (happily, because it tested me). One indelicate word in response from myself would have put it over the top for this person.

While I did not feel especially provoked, my attitude before reading the book may well have been to put in a contrary word or two, to partially balance the scale, possibly to show I wasn't about to be pushed around.

Happily taking the book to heart, I was sensitive to the reality this person was upset and by responding in a non inflammatory way, something that could have escalated in silly ways, was defused. The book addresses why this is a superior and thoughtful method.

It is easy to read a book and months later forget the lessons taught. That would not be the author's fault, so I made bookmarks for future reference. The book covers about every imaginable variation on the subject of anger. As well it is a reasonably engaging book to read.

9 people found this helpful

Helpful

R

So helpful!

Reviewed in the United States on July 9, 2022

Verified Purchase

I originally bought this book for someone else, but learned so much from the book myself that I kept it!

Really helpful when you're not sure how to deal with your inner anger without exploding on other people. Lots of great tips and it's been so helpful in my marriage & other relationships. Highly recommend.

(Just a warning, if you're not into Christianity, this book might not be for you as it's written from a Christian perspective, but I feel like you can still apply the principles regardless of your spiritual beliefs.)

6 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

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Estrild

Practically Useful Wisdom

Reviewed in Canada on January 26, 2022

Verified Purchase

This is a clearly laid out, sensibly organized compendium of a lifetime's career insider info on why we're angry and what we can do about it. It's a joy to read, I could hear his calm voice in the writing, which I know from his excellent YouTube uploads. You gotta do yourself a favour and look inside anger. Dr Carter is all about respect, dignity and decency. It was a joy to read, and is a great gift to humanity.

One person found this helpful

Alejandra Uzcátegui Pedroza

Genial

Reviewed in Spain on July 28, 2022

Verified Purchase

Este libro está lleno de ejemplos y reflexiones para el manejo de la ira. De los mejores libros de autoayuda que he leído.

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Land Cruiser

Thought provoking

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 27, 2021

Verified Purchase

I got this book only because it was part of a package with two other books by Dr Les Carter. It turned out to be a very thought provoking read. Not a person who outwardly displays anger, I found that I sometimes had what’s referred to as suppressed anger, rather than being assertive. Read with an open mind you can learn a lot about yourself.

AM

Superb message - Anger is a choice and one has other better choices that lead to inner peace

Reviewed in India on November 2, 2019

Verified Purchase

Amazing and wonderful insights into the causes of anger, with practical suggestions as to how to channelise it.
This books stimulates very useful introspection, and makes one mindful.

Dr. Carter presents his ideas through interviews with his clients, and so while reading each as a story, one is also living the story with the client. In this manner, one learns different types of lessons, as each one's story is unique.

The most important message for me in this book is - Anger is a choice, and a habit by choice. This habit can be changed.

It shows us the destructive outcomes of such a habit, and then ways of overcoming it, particularly through committing oneself to the values of decency and respect. When one expresses anger considerately, one stands up for oneself while maintaining respect for the other. The importance of this mindful approach is phenomenal, as it impacts one's self-esteem significantly.

One person found this helpful

Rodger Ziya

Dry narration and no real key learning in this book

Reviewed in Australia on January 8, 2022

Verified Purchase

I found this book to be dry, boring to read and too heavily focussed on psycho babble.

All it’s good for is the recycling bin.

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