7/15/2008 6:19 PM
Myra wrote:
This black female actress is hungrily taking any part thrown her way, even if the script is garbage. She no longer has standards because she desperately needs the money.
She's running out of money, partly, due to traveling all of the country to attend industry events, trying to snag a baller with no success.
She spends a fortune on designer dresses, beautiful jewelry, and high-end shoes but she always leaves empty handed despite being attractive.
She is now on an all-out "baller alert."
In her mind, only a high paid baller can keep her in the lifestyle she has become accustomed to, either that, or lose what she already has. Reply to this
ANYBODY see Timbaland on 106 the other day...A brother might be reachin but I think he outted himself and others, talking extensively bout his marriage
(Terrence and Keri Hilson were looking at him for bout an hour like, "OK, you can stop now")
He made a BIG deal about how "All us married guys hang together a lot, Me, USHER, JAY-Z...."
7/15/2008 6:22 PM
Nina's Daddy (Mindsupreme) wrote:
Madam President, I move that one Gabrielle Monique Union be voted in as the subject of this Blind Item. Reply to this
7/15/2008 7:00 PM
ms coleman wrote:
Love your new handle MindSupreme . Congrats to your family and Elan's family. I see I missed her earlier today Reply to this
7/15/2008 11:37 PM
2blessed4stress wrote:
Hey S-diva! I just finished reading the last BI and saw your greeting. Thanks! Been busy with work and then went on family vacation and not able to log on as often. Hope all is well with you and yours!! Reply to this
7/16/2008 6:01 AM
SouthnDiva wrote:
Hey Sweetie! I am just THRILLED to see you back on the board! All is well here! Reply to this
7/15/2008 7:53 PM
MindSupreme wrote:
Thanks again everybody - the angel is pretending to sleep beside me now. Just had her 1st appointment today - the 2 day appointment - no jaundice, temp good, heart rate good, and birthweight up 3.8 oz since leaving the hospital Sunday. God is good. Reply to this
7/15/2008 8:01 PM
Chi-Town Reader wrote:
Yes he is - and you have found favor in the form of your precious little gift. Love her to pieces!!! Reply to this
7/15/2008 9:48 PM
BlessedWoman wrote:
Mind Supreme, you sound like such a proud papa and I love it, who came up with the name Nina, it's a pretty name? Reply to this
i will have to go with box office flop "meet dave" star, gabrielle union for the BI... Reply to this
7/16/2008 7:25 AM
BlessedWoman wrote:
Good Morning, I wondered where you were last night as we immediately solved this blind item. Good to see you posting. Reply to this
7/16/2008 7:30 AM
allupinyoB.I. wrote:
hey blessed...i totally fell asleep on the baseball game last nite, they took forever!
7/16/2008 7:58 AM
BlessedWoman wrote:
I'm good, I was watching the game as well. I had a lot of business tied to it, but I had to turn from Sheryl Crow singing the national anthem. I forgot, this wasnt a basketball game and Tamia or Deborah Cox or one of them wouldnt be coming out to sing. This is baseball, it would definitely be someone else. Reply to this
Usual lurker, but may I second your motion? Gabby without a doubt. Reply to this
7/15/2008 8:04 PM
MindSupreme wrote:
It has been properly moved and second'd. However, before we vote, some posters with knowledge have posed other possibilities - see below.. Reply to this
7/16/2008 5:42 AMPooh wrote:
I have not even read the other answers, but mindsupreme you are so on point. I mean really look @ that stupid meet dave, you can tell she was desperate. Reply to this
7/16/2008 6:19 AM
TAFKA Bullrida wrote:
Hey MindSupreme, congrats on your new bundle of joy. I hope she brings you and the fam years of happiness!! Reply to this
I think it's gabby union too. wasn't she married to a football player and the latest movie she was in "meet dave" was a flop-so i read. i heard she has another movie set to come out too. Reply to this
7/16/2008 2:53 PM
Teardropz wrote:
Everyone that has a "baller" there. Sure she will be at the ESPY Awards to night in Hollywood..... See you there Gabby... good luck! Reply to this
This might be the easiest blind item I've seen on PR. By the way this is my first time posting but been lurking for the LONGEST. I enjoy every bit of this site. Reply to this
I co-sign on the line for this one. This is too easy. Gabby should have stayed with her husband if she wanted to live that lifestyle she had. Making movies like Meet Dave really brings her credibility down as a good actress. I used to think she was wise in her movie decisions but this last one reeks of desperation! Reply to this
7/15/2008 6:33 PM
Incubus wrote:
Good evening to all... Welcome Be For Real!!! This blind item is definitely Miss Gabrielle Union... Reply to this
7/15/2008 6:36 PM
anon2 wrote:
I thought Gabby would have blown up after Bad Boys 2 but her career went nowhere and is now dead in the water. The football player didn't work and she was supporting him. Reply to this
7/15/2008 8:39 PM
Peaches wrote:
Anon2, I thought the same thing. Gabby is very pretty & Bad Boys 2 did well, so I thought she would really go places and she's had some good roles, but lately...nah. Now, I never heard anything about her until after the marriage broke down. Was she this wild before she got married and it was just kept more on the low? Reply to this
7/15/2008 6:37 PM
vanity wrote:
OT-I am truly sorry to post at the start of this new BI but I literally just found out about all of the drama about one-hour ago. Just to be clear, I have NEVER posted under any other name except vanity. I have no idea what has happened and as I told the PR staff in a note I just sent, I have no reason to bite my tounge or post under another name to state my opinion to anyone, let alone Lit!!! I was shocked to see that Lit had spewed some of the garbage that she did about me without any proof at all and without giving me an opportunity to respond. I am not the most computer literate person out there, but having been a moderator for another site in the past, I do know that there can be various issues with IP addresses including with AOL which is where I normally post from. If anyone had asked me, I would have and still would gladly provide any information that was needed to clear this matter up. To log on and read such nonsense from Lit, especially such pettiness as I allegedly had the nerve to challenge her truly showed Lit's insecurities and pettiness. I never challenged Lit. I only stated what my experience has shown and taught me. Does Lit truly believe that she is the only person who knows of what they speak? Did it ever occur to Lit that just maybe others, myself included, might have more experience than she does in certain areas of law, namely criminal law? The most ridiculous statement made was that if "we" continued to post under multiple handles legal action would be pursued!! Excuse me? Legal action for what exactly? Being wrongly accused of something. Hell, I had not yet written PR's staff as I just found out about this. Again, I highly respect Myra, but this is no way for a so-called legal professional to act...certainly not on the behalf of a client. I hope my comments are allowed to stay up as Lit has been allowed to assinate my character at whim.
BTW Lit...I am on my way to Court...to arraign one of my MANY clients!!! You have a good day now. Reply to this
7/15/2008 8:36 PM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
First of all I didn't discover your many split personalities.. Eric did and that had nothing to do with me..
Secondly, if you are a lawyer and I seriously doubt that you are, your bar fees must be astronomical since I'm you have to pay for all 5 of your personalities to practice.
And I have no reason to be petty towards anyone.. I'm under 30.. I drive a Benz that I pay for.. live in a 2500 square foot house that I pay for complete with a 2 car garage and my own pond in the backyard.. If you google my name you find over 30 newspaper articles written on me.. Because I am on game.. other lawyers seek me out and pay me to try cases with them because my reputation is legendary and UNLIKE you I have someone on this board who can tell you that I ain't gotta lie to kick it.. Because on top of all these wonderful things I have done.. I landed the representation of the baddest chick in the blogging game...
On top of all this I had the nerve to go and be born beautiful, have amazing fashion sense and a killer sense of humor... so why in the hell would I be jealous of someone who can't decide what their name or occupation is ???
And I'll tell you what I tell the good old white boys here.. I don't care how much experience you have or how long you've been practicing.. when you come into court against me.. I'm going to show you how to do it correctly.. insecure??? not a word that anyone who knows me would ever use to describe me..
Instead of court you may want to run to a psychiatrist and get help for your MANY personalities.. I notice that you never threatened to sue for defamation.. cause you know the truth is an absolute defense?? BYE BYE Thanks Reply to this
7/15/2008 9:02 PM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
hey celeb... no I am your friend in your heart.. having friends in her head is what got her in this mess to begin with...LOL Reply to this
7/15/2008 9:05 PM
Peaches wrote:
LOL!! Hey Lit, put your earrings back on and refer to my post below for the soundtrack of the evening! Reply to this
7/15/2008 9:14 PM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
LOL.. girl you know I don't fight but my bf says I can really cut people up with my words..but I'm getting better.. but it's a process...LOL Reply to this
7/15/2008 9:44 PM
BlessedWoman wrote:
I think the cut with words is deadlier than a fight.
And I second that killer sense of humor! you keep me in stitches. LMAO
Seriously, my hat is off to you, for handling it so well, but I wouldnt expect anything less. Thank you for being you, fam. Reply to this
7/15/2008 10:00 PM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
HEY BW.. you know you always bring out the funniest stories in me..
I was in court one day with this much much older white attorney who kept telling me that he had been practicing longer than I had been alive.. anywhoo he files this motion and I tell the judge the motion should be deferred because it's premature.. this leads to a pissing contest between me and the old white guy.. so he's starts telling me if I am so smart show it to him in the code book.. then he has the audacity to slide the book down the table towards me and says, "you know so much, you show me."
I coolly slid the book back down the table and said "No where on my resume does it say law clerk to Mr. Old good old boy.. and since you've been practicing longer than I've been alive you should be able to read this for yourself." The judge tried to diffuse the situation by turning to the statute that I was referring to but there was complete silence in the courtroom. I didn't know my bf had been in the back of the courtroom the whole time and as we were going to lunch he was like um you really hurt people's feelings with your words... I gave a half hearted apology to the old white lawyer because maybe I was a little rough with him but shoot I get tired of that I been practicing blah blah blah..
But the running joke between me and my friends now is I ain't your law clerk Reply to this
I have to agree, though. I get so tired of the "I've been doing XYZ for this many years" statement. That bothers me to no end.
I hear that more often than not when dealing with real estate agents.
Another self-validating statement I hate is the old, "I'm ranked number so-and-so". I always seem to here that statement out of people who are ranked in the middle or the road, but they say it like it's suppose to really impress me.
The amount of years a person has been doing something or your ranking really doesn't mean that a person can never be wrong. Reply to this
7/16/2008 5:32 AM
Lady Truth wrote:
litigating/lauryn, Diva you are a B-A-D chick! Remind me to NEVER get on your bad side. I love this story because this is something my friends and I would do.
7/16/2008 5:54 AM
Peaches wrote:
I hate when people underestimate me b/c of my age. I just keep the motto, I can show you better than I can tell you! Reply to this
7/16/2008 7:56 AM
BlessedWoman wrote:
ROFLMAO, girl you are hilarious!I'm sure the old geezer didnt think he would get that type of response from a young black woman. But I totally understand, because being a female business owner in a male dominated society those mind games are real and it truly is necessary. I'm gonna copy and paste this story and pass it on to my kids. I like to share positive stories with them and this one is just that, the story of a young black female attorney who refuses to be dominated and controlled by white male society and holding her own intellectually. My kids arent your age yet, but you have accomplished what I would like to see them accomplish at an early age.
7/16/2008 1:44 PM
Double L wrote:
Litigating...I second that. Interesting that we have the same name, same profession and same age range..but anyway...
I had the same situation with an older white male adversary who in the middle of a telephone conference attempted to talk down to me on a certain point. The issue of the conference touched about a real estate transaction and while he attempted to pull a fast one, he had the nerve, the gall, audacity to infer that "if I practiced in real estate law, I would know...".
He was completely off base and as I tore him a new one while pointing out his inartful attempt to belittle me, he could not apologize and hang the phone up fast enough. My co-counsel (who was also on the conference call) and I still laugh about it. I can still get whatever I want from him!! The things people try..... Reply to this
7/16/2008 9:09 PM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
I believe I owe you an apology.. you posted on another thread and because of some of the "multiple personalities" we were experiencing at the time I thought you were picking on me with the double L handle..LOL.. but as you just explained you have the same initials.. I apologize for being so sensitive.. Welcome to the board.. please jump into the conversation more often Reply to this
7/16/2008 10:11 PM
SheKnows wrote:
Very Nice Lit Real Nice I like the fact that you don't take any mess from anyone,but you're not above apologizing.*toasting to Lit Salute* Reply to this
7/17/2008 8:17 AM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
ty Sheknows..but when you're wrong you're wrong so what else is there to do ??LOL Reply to this
7/16/2008 7:43 AM
Incubus wrote:
I agree with your statement as well... I had a girlfriend in college that was tiny (125 lbs soaking wet), but when she used to get into confrontations with people and they wanted to fight her, she would use her words and make them feel so little... I love that about people when they can use their words without swearing and having the ability to make people look so ignorant.... That's why I enjoy your post Miss Litigating/Lauryn!!! Thank you for bringing me back to my college days... Have a wonderful day!!!! Reply to this
7/16/2008 10:12 AM
cutienjerzy wrote:
I agree also...I lurk mostly and always enjoy litigating/lauryn posts. Like Wendy Williams always says " I feel like she(litigating/lauryn) is a friend in my head...smooches Reply to this
7/15/2008 9:51 PM
BlessedWoman wrote:
ROFLMAL, you still need help, there you go, LMAO @ "having friends in her head is waht got her in this mess to begin with." Reply to this
7/15/2008 9:32 PM
angie b wrote:
LOL! Smart you are! Girl, you LITERALLY had me google the word "trifecta"....never even heard of the word before. Trifecta = Triple Dag, now you got me feeling all stupid! Reply to this
Somebody just got "Ether-ed" Hip Hop Heads know what I'm talking bout. I apologize to the staff for even speaking on it, but that should be the cherry on the sundae, does MPD have Masochism as a symptom? My monitor still smoking after that science that just got dropped by Litigating, You should just shorten it to just Lit, as in you just LIT THAT @$$ UP! awright, please don't ban me, but I love it when HOT FIRE get spit, that prose needs to be on Wax, better than 90% of lyrics actually being sold today. I couldnt keep taking these verbal lashings, these LEGIONs (for they are many, it's in the good book!) are GLUTTONS for Punishment!
I'm sorry again yall, but this ish is like a Tyson Fight circa 86, Sybil, Yall knocked out and you don't even know it, STAY DOWN! Reply to this
7/15/2008 9:24 PM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
LOL.. you did not say Rick Flair... but where have you been you been MIA for a minute?? welcome back.. missed your sense of humor !! Reply to this
7/15/2008 9:41 PM
Chi-Town Reader wrote:
Dang Lit! I love it when you "Stomp the Yard" like that.
(Dr. to Nurse): Ok, let's start an IV drip, 3cc's of morphine for the pain, and the sutures should stay as long as the patient does not move and stays quiet.
They should have known (all 5 of them) that just because somebody invites you into their back yard does not mean you can piss on the lawn! That will learn em! Reply to this
7/15/2008 10:04 PM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
okay I did not see the "piss on the lawn" coming.. LMAO.. yes please don't piss on the lawn... Reply to this
7/15/2008 9:43 PM
Drunken1 wrote:
Been workin hard Counsel, thanks for the welcome, it's truly good to be missed, especially by one as lovely and gifted as your self. Reply to this
7/15/2008 10:13 PM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
glad someone is working around here cause we got bills to pay but stop in every now and again and check on your family. Reply to this
7/16/2008 10:20 AM
The Fresh Prince of PR (aka Soulful_brotha) wrote:
Damn Lit, did you really have to shut ol' girl down like THAT? I work in the legal field too, I don't ever want to face you in court...Two tiny drops of pee came out when I read your post...I'm scared!! (wink) Reply to this
7/16/2008 10:57 AM
The Fresh Prince of PR (aka Soulful_brotha) wrote:
Hey Spymaster, I bet she is...I'm sure they never see her coming!! Reply to this
7/15/2008 10:28 PM
Deanna wrote:
I know exactly what "Ether-ed" means and that was the greatest reference to how Litigating just broke it down to the white meat. Reply to this
7/16/2008 9:14 AM
S Epatha Lurkerson wrote:
Wowie wow. Just read all that. Hot damn! I too know just what "ethered" means and it's a great compliment. Like Nas shut down Jay-Z, that's how lit shut down GG/Bingo/vanity/whoever.
7/16/2008 9:47 PM
grits_on_my_head wrote:
Sound like a bunch of runny doodoo to me. I read all that nonsense and people can come on the internet and be whoever they want to be. Nobody can prove that what anyone is saying on here is truth. A person who is confident and really has it going on does not need to point out what kind of car they drive, house they live in, etc.etc. I think you all are highly immature...Please stop. But what I would like to know is why people come on here and act like this is bet.com with all the chatting and bickering. Can't we just solve blind items??..Dang Reply to this
7/16/2008 9:52 PM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
Since I work for Myra and she owns the site.. I'm betting she can prove that what I say is truth.. Jealousy really is a very ugly monster.. spend less time worry about what I'm doing and maybe when you can grow up you can be just like me..until then kick bricks Reply to this
7/17/2008 7:13 AM
It's_me_again_ oh_what_fun_times_we_had wrote:
No, I would not consider myself that new, I just don't have the time to post as much as some of you. I have a career that's very demanding, sorry. And I am just not that much of a blogger. I dont have the desire to post comments all the time. Sometimes I come here and solve the blind items in my mind or believe that I have and move on. I like to read the other topics they have on this website about celebs from " back in the day " and all the scandals they were involved in. Interesting stuff...It is too bad if you believe people who have never seen any of you before and don't know anything about you, could be jealous. That is weird to me and I am sorry if that is what you got from my previous post. Now I am done with it. It is not my intention to argue back and forth..moving on and kicking rocks as you say Reply to this
7/17/2008 7:38 AM
i1da wrote:
I guess if you love the front page and can solve the BI in your head by yourself you really don't need us here in the comment section. I do like your handle and I must say I find you to be brilliant ... also insane, but brilliant. Reply to this
7/17/2008 8:19 AM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
of course you're not new ...you just needed time to "discover" your sixth personality.. gonna check Guiness and see what the world record is..if you try really hard I am sure you can break it Reply to this
Although your delivery was fairly abrasive, I did grasp the underlying sentiment; however I don't think it was fair to Litigating particularly since she was not unprovoked--she was defending herself.
I see your point to the extent that I'm still trying to "bounce back" from that whole episode (that shall remain unspoken) and get to the point where I find the site "fun" and entertaining again...I'll get there. In terms of your statement...here are my thoughts:
As I am sure Litigating has learned, being a successful, black, female attorney subjects you to as much disdain as it does admiration...
I'm feeling very "old" at 35 (although I know that is young) because I'm getting wiser I suppose. I do remember the days when I had a chip on my shoulder and felt that I had to prove I was successful. I've found that as you settle into it, that need subsides unless challenged. Hopefully it subsides altogether...eventually.
I don't talk about how much I earn. I stopped signing everything with my name...Esq.
We don't drive our "toy" car very often, it stays in the garage and I drive my Camry to work (and my husband drives his jeep. My co-workers don't even know about my toy. it would only create resentment where it need not exist. So they see the Toyota, and since I don't live in the town where I work--that's all they will ever see. It keeps things simple and friendly.
My home is extravagant enough to make my children comfortable and proud--but it is well under what I can afford. I invested the difference in price. They will go to college and live very well off of the return on that investment.
I've also learned not to always tell people what I do for a living because it doesn't earn you any friends---only resentment--and a few people who want to use you.
I do have a shoe and fashion fetish that I refuse to compromise and I catch flack for it in and out of the office...and a thing for gold jewelry...but outside of that, I've learned to be more modest because the negative energy is just not worth it.
That being said, I think that Litigating was defending herself from an attack, rather than bragging or showing insecurity.
People are going to be people from the day they take their first breath to the day they take their last. That it life.
Now I KNOW I'm getting old. But I welcome it. It takes a lot of energy, being a young hot-head. Reply to this
Flies AND people like honey way more than vinegar. That's something my sweet southern mama taught me without even trying, and now that I'm old enough to "get it", I truly appreciate her for that. Reply to this
7/17/2008 8:15 AM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
no comment on the "older" comment but you are definitely wise.. It may be impossible to believe after my rant but usually I am very modest.. I am uncomfortable with compliments not even sure why that is.. and at least in my mind I was attacked for no good reason.. as I said I didn't discover the multiple personalities... I was completely shocked that the person wouldn't just move on..instead insisting that the staff was lying..anywhoo I am sure that it would have been a classier to move to just have skipped over the post altogether but that whole "experience thing" is my pet peeve and I was not happy about being blamed for her MPD.. now who do you think the drug kingpin that financed the broadway play is ?? Reply to this
I don't doubt that you are modest. Trust me, I understand where your "rant" came from. I can't count how many times I've had other black people express that they didn't "believe" I was an attorney. That hurts on a lot of levels because of all the people who you have to fight...you hope that just once--one of your own will "understand" and be proud of you. I don't think you were being immodest; I think you were attacked and defending yourself on levels that a lot of people haven't ever experienced.
You are a litigator to your core. You know how they say that lawyers are made--but litigators are BORN. It is true, which is why in law firms (and in-house) they separate us from the others. One "elder statesman" litigator told me that the litigators are like the Kamakazi fighter pilots...we only get called in for the kill...
I say that to say, I understand everything you did and said--and that when attacked, you are going to do what you do--litigate
My guess for the drug kingpin would be Supreme MCGriff. When I was in death penalty, I followed his federal case for a while (just out of interest, I wasn't on that defense team). Reply to this
This is what I am in the midst of teaching my daughter. One day she said to me "I wish I could cuss", I told her you could get that same point across without using those words. I told her don't get use to using those words (you know kids do stuff when we arent present) and to expand her vocabulary and to not dumb down herself to make someone else feel better.
Yo go girl!!!I need to copy some of your tell off statements and show to her as examples. LMAO Reply to this
7/15/2008 10:10 PM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
And you are so right.. my dad always told me that cursing was a sign of a limited vocabulary.. now it doesn't even sound natural when I curse because I'm just not used to it.. besides tell her it is a lot of fun watching less evolved people try to figure out what you said to them..LOL Reply to this
7/15/2008 10:30 PM
Deanna wrote:
So true = "it is a lot of fun watching less evolved people try to figure out what you said to them.." Reply to this
7/16/2008 1:19 AM
Davine wrote:
what the hell happened in here can somdebody please tell me why lit and vanity are scratching each others eyes out, i hate been left out of things, reminds me of high school. Reply to this
7/16/2008 6:07 AM
SouthnDiva wrote:
Girl, too long of a story! Go to the previous BI and you will see the drama unfold! Litigating just came back on to get her point across. It is all good, we are all grown, mature and SEXY as hell! Hell, PR doesn't DIE it multiplies! Aww shoot, maybe I shouldn't have used that word! LOL! The fam is getting bigger and sometimes when you start adding other family members to the mix, it may go smoothly and then sometimes it may not! Reply to this
7/16/2008 6:40 AM
Samantha Jones wrote:
and I recently heard on tom joyner that CHRIS WEBBER aka my future husband is NOT, i repeat NOT married! Wooohoooo!! Reply to this
7/16/2008 8:20 AM
Samantha Jones wrote:
lol it may not have been a lost cause, she'll think twice before accepting a proposal (lmao) Reply to this
7/16/2008 12:03 PM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
LMAO.. that was funny.. did you get a chance to pick up the LSAT study books?? I'm going to try and see if I can you up with a mentor in Houston.. Just someone you can bounce ideas off of and just see what it's like being a lawyer... Reply to this
7/16/2008 1:50 PM
Peaches wrote:
That's an excellent resource. I made sure I connected with one of the professors in my major my freshman year and he was so helpful. The connections I made through him helped me get my first job out of college and he still gives me advice. Reply to this
7/16/2008 3:30 PM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
very smart move Peaches..I think at least part of the reason why white people advance faster is because they pick a mentore to learn from and make connections with Reply to this
7/17/2008 8:37 AM
CocoaPeach wrote:
Litigating is right. Also, don't rule out white male mentors. I've found them to be more open to help, and more powerful in terms of connections. They also aren't generally threatened by your success (provided they are older and more established than you) so they will do more to help you be successful. Reply to this
7/15/2008 6:38 PM
Chi-Town Reader wrote:
Thanks anon2 for the heads up. Good evening everyone. Again, the BI is off to a good start with the answers. Reply to this
7/15/2008 6:39 PM
SouthernGirl77 wrote:
paris did say at one time that blind items were not always done on the same people. albeit gabby is a good guess. however, it is "strange" how gabby seems not to be able to find a decent suitor.
however, i am just "ms. over-analyze to a fault," so it may as well be gabby. Reply to this
7/15/2008 6:43 PM
SheKnows wrote:
Good Evening PR Family!!! I say either Gabby OR Sanaa... I remember someone saying that Sanaa attends events looking for ballers too ? Which is strange and she's Stan Lathan's daughter.. Reply to this
7/15/2008 6:51 PM
Chi-Town Reader wrote:
Nothing much, just working hard. I read the posts from the other thread - wow - wow - all I can say is wow. But on a lighter note - how have you been? I just got rid of the 4 year old Sunday and I was recuperating yesterday. Today pharoah had us slaves making bricks without straw. Reply to this
7/15/2008 7:11 PM
SheKnows wrote:
Girl,I have been fine Just glad that things are calming down Whew!!! I'm getting ready to lay down, because I have my internship early tomorrow. My days are now wed&fri; due to my summer classes conflicting...Oh Chi-Town I am Soo sick of school...It seems like I have been in there forever Uggh! Reply to this
7/15/2008 7:14 PM
Chi-Town Reader wrote:
Try not to think in the "now". Focus on the end results - it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there as long as you finish the journey. Want me to do some of your classes for you? Won't know what the hell I'm doing, but anything to help a friend out. Reply to this
7/15/2008 7:21 PM
SheKnows wrote: Girl you are too sweet! But,I'm good everyone goes through that stage of college(I think)...My bed is calling for me.I have been up since 6 am. CU Later! Reply to this
7/15/2008 7:18 PM
ms coleman wrote:
Good evening SheKnows! Get some rest Girl. I know I'll be turning in soon. Hang in there-it will all be worth it in the end Reply to this
7/16/2008 5:25 AM
SheKnows wrote:
Thanks Ms.Coleman, I'm up and on my way out,just wanted to acknowledge your encouragement.I really need it and appreciate it.Have a Good Day! Reply to this
7/16/2008 5:52 AM
TAFKA Bullrida wrote:
Hey Sheknows, girl Chi-town gave you some excellent advice up top. Keep up the good work, you know it will all pay of for you in the end. I hope you have a good day, today, and ttyl!! Reply to this
7/16/2008 2:58 PM
SheKnows wrote:
Hey Artist Baby!!! Thanks I hope you're having a good day as well.I'm always happy to see you! You are one of my favorite cyber-friends... But, Hell you know that Reply to this
7/16/2008 4:39 AM
uk_blackgyrl wrote:
Hi ChiTown, SheKnows, prettyprincess,eyeonU2 and other chitown people. Hello to GS,litigating/lauryn/ BlessedWoman and everyone I may have missed.
I think this may be Gabby too, though I am not au fait with a lot of black actresses that are not superstars.
I don't want to mention yesterday, but it was surreal. Flipping hell, I have not seen anything like it on this board! Hopefully, all of the troublemakers will have gone.
Anyway, I want to go off topic and ask and ask for some opinions. I am a mother of one and have finally got on track to get ahead in the cutthroat industry I work in. The thing is, I am in my early 30's, my husband is in his late 30's and we have a lovely 5 year old. I would like another child, but I am worried that it would adversely affect my chances of promotion as the other women that have been hired are single and in their early-mid 20's. Now I am entitled to a year off with pay. What would you do? Any and all advice is appeciated. Reply to this
7/16/2008 5:44 AM
hunnyluv78 wrote:
congrats on your achievements. any boss that would not promote you because you are pregnant or because you're still creating your fam is an azz and, isn't that against some law? (discrimination?-i don't know...save me Lit!) But when the day is done and over with, if you and your husband can breathe easy knowing that you made the right choice in expanding the fam, then i think that's the right choice. I started my dream job 3 months ago, and found out i was pregnant a month into the job. i was happy, but nervous about what my boss would think. i woke up one morning and was like "screw it", the LORD wouldn't have blessed me if he knew i couldn't handle it. so i marched into my job and told my boss that i was pregnant....and he was happy and hasn't treated me any different, or keeping advancement from me. GOOD LUCK!! Reply to this
7/16/2008 5:53 AM
SheKnows wrote:
Hey UkGirl I was just about to bounce, and logg off until I saw your post...So,quickly I'll offer some advice...I know how you feel.It's never any fun when we're faced with tough decisions or a dilemma. I would say, look deep inside yourself and ask "Which one matters the most to me"...The Promotion OR a new bundle of Joy. Also, if you're good at what you do, and the Company values you...Your personal decision to have another child shouldn't affect your being promoted. Lastly, if you have a good relationship with your bosses, speak with them, and ask for their honest opinions of your work history. I would request a meeting, and be respectfully honest and open about my concerns...AFTER I have showed proof of my stellar job performance. I hope this helps. Also, if you decide on having another baby, since you're entitled to a year off with pay... Research ways that you can improve,and bring more to the company, so that when you do return and there's an opportunity. All eyes will be on you! You will be considered! Later! Gotta Run.... Reply to this
7/16/2008 7:26 AM
litigating/lauryn wrote:
Hey uk!! Okay I don't have any choldren yet so I am a little hesitant to give advice on this subject.. But maybe there are other options.. How far do you think are from a promotion? Could you maybe wait another year get the promotion and then get pregnant?? I know some people like to have their children closer together in age but my 2 brothers are 5 years apart and they are thicker than thieves.. Reply to this
7/16/2008 7:31 AM
Bonita AppleBaum wrote:
Hi UKBlackgirl, I know how you feel. I have 2 girls, my youngest just turned 5. I am in Coporate America in the finance industry. I am the only woman in my group besides the admin. I work with all men and the majority are white. So I know cut throat. I made my priorities known when they interviewed me. I have a family. My husband and children come first. Now I handle my business. I have an excellent performance record. But at the end of the day it will be my family that will be there not my job. I don't know ur faith, but I would pray on it. God always makes a way. Reply to this
7/16/2008 8:16 AM
uk_blackgyrl wrote:
Thank you to all that have responded and may respond. I'll answer some questions right quick.
*I work in the media for a MAJOR media coporation. I mean huge. Although I am not in an entry-level position, I am not in a high position either. When I say I worked hard to get here, I went on courses, made the tea, did unpaid and freelance work. I once worked retail and worked for this company just to keep my name in people's heads.
Anyway, last year this job came up and it was not to be missed, since full-term contracts are like gold dust in this industry. Unless I act a zip-damned fool or they cut positions, I am here until I retire. The maternity benefits are very good and I would even get my annual pay raises even while on maternity leave.
The type of job that I do is something I can't really research and get info from outside sources; it is kind of specialized to this company. All of my advancement training and opportunities would come from in-house.
It's not so much the guys but the other women! There are so many child-haters in this industry and it's like you have betrayed the sisterhood because you want kids. Funny that I had to come here to talk about it because I would never discuss this with my colleagues.
Lit, I don't really know how far I am from a promotion as I would need to wait for someone to leave to apply or find another department. There is a major shakeup coming in a couple years, so I am trying to get in the starting block for that so I can have my game tight for when the time comes.
Thanks for listening everyone. My son means the world to me and he is begging me to have in his words "a brown baby brother. And a cat."
I guess if I am happy with my job (I am,) I won't be losing out too much, then there is nothing stopping me from having another one. I guess I hate to admit that I just want to be a full-time mommy again for a year. I will let you all know if I have some happy news. Okay, back to the BI. (Sorry for going OT with a long post!) Reply to this
7/16/2008 11:11 AM
honeybee wrote:
Uk, I have just turned 30 and I am advancing in my profession at lightning speed. (You wouldn't believe the hate!) But, my husband and I wanted to start a family and so I had to make a decision similar to yours. I knew that I would be subjected to even more scrutiny as a pregnant woman, but I had to keep remembering that my dreams were not simply for a successful career, but they included a happy home-life as well.
*Side-bar, I started this career at 22, which was unheard of because it was considered too young. I had to work directly with the fierce, well respected, and established.... dare I say feared women in my field (think Meryl Streep’s character in The Devil Wears Prada x 10). They got together and decided that it was their duty to haze me because I was more than half their ages and they felt that I somehow did not deserve to have the chances that they could not get until their late 40s. However, I earned my spot with blood, sweat, and tears. But through all of my trials and tribulations I learned how to play the game. So these women saw that I could hold my own, in spite of their efforts to block my advancement, and they decided to "school" me. The first thing they told me was not to date seriously until I was in my mid-30s and not to marry until I was at least 42, and children in our line of work are definitely out of the question. In their minds there just wasn't enough time for kids or a needy husband. Well needless to say, all of these unmarried divas are 60+ and while they are the epitome fabulous, that was never what I wanted to be [well the unmarried part at least ;~) ]. My dream included a husband, children, and a successful career. Who were they to tell me that I could not have it all? By the way, a colleague who started with me suffered a massive heart attack, due to the pressures of the workplace, and died 3 years into the game at 44 years old. They replaced her in less than 36 hours with no pomp and circumstance and no love lost. That shocked me to the core. She gave her soul to succeed and well…. To make a long story short I married at 25 and had my first child at 28. I didn’t tell them that I was pregnant until I was 6 months because I was up for a huge promotion which I would not have gotten if the company knew that I was with child (I mean they had just forgiven me for getting married). They thought pregnancy was some sort of crippling disease. In any event, that promotion led to several high profile opportunities, in which I did my thang and propelled my career to even higher heights and left the devil divas shakin’ in their boots.*
All that to say, do what makes you and your family happy. Your collective happiness should come first not some job, even if it is a dream career. Please understand that if something happens to your job will replace you in heartbeat. But family is irreplaceable, and a decision to expand should not be a hindrance to your career. It should enhance your whole being. All the best! Reply to this
7/16/2008 5:49 PM
eyeonu2 wrote:
Hey Lady how are you? You have been given some good advice so let me just add, I too am in corporate and I'm a firm believer of building your network. I have many mentors and am currently looking for a new sponser (someone to promote my goals in a position to do so, behind the scenes)after my last promotion my previous sponser & I are almost at the same level so while our relationship is still cool, she doesn't have the influence to get me to the next level bec it's pretty much where she wants to be as well. It seems like you have an idea of what you need to do but were looking for a sounding board. If your manager or your manager's managwr is trustworthy, I'd sit down with them to discuss my short/long term goals with the company. Come prepared to discuss your strengths & opportunities and ask if they can support those goals. Also ask if they can provide inout/direction to help turn those goals into reality. Lastly I'd be seeking a sponsor that can help as well. The ? they usually ask is What's in it for me- we say WIFM? The answer is an incredibly talented asset to the comp who will bring positive feedback for the association. I know I'm late but hope this is useful. It's the advise that I provide for my mentee's. Reply to this
7/17/2008 6:03 AM
uk_blackgyrl wrote:
You are exactly right-- I have an idea but I needed a sounding board and some other thoughts and opinions. Bottom line is unless I do something catastrophically stupid, I am with this company for the forseeable. I have had my appraisial and it was very good. That is what made the decision a little bit harder because I was told I am on track to move up and they could see me moving up.
Again, thank you for all of the advice and stories you have shared. I don't get to talk to other African-American women and here is a rich mix of professional women that are mothers and childless that I can get some knowledge from. This has been invaluable. Funny thing is life-- I have just been given a huge responsibilty for my department today that means everyone will need to come to me to get certain things approved and authorised. I thought I was going to the training just to help out if the main person was sick, on vacation or had too much to do. Nope, it's all on me now. Like everything else, I will approach it with positivity and a smile on my face. Reply to this
7/16/2008 8:23 AM
BlessedWoman wrote:
Hi uk_blackgyrl, Wow, it seems you have some decisions to make. Before starting my own business years ago, I worked in corporate america and had all of my kids while working, so it's a decision that needs to be made carefully. The first thing to do is to pray about your situation and ask God for wisdom and guidance. Also, assess your situation at this moment and see how a baby would affect your lives. However, I would probably gain the promotion first, its more difficult to release you from your position once you have it than to keep from advancing you in the company. I would also not consider being off work for a year even if they give you a year off. The average woman that has a child only takes a 6 to 8 week maternity leave, then its back to work. Consider something shorter than a year. A year away would be scarey for any businessowner, including myself. If you're off a year, you've given all of the younger workers the opportunity to learn more about the company and the politics of the company and when you return, you will have to be brought up to speed. That means you are behind the 8-ball at that time and no longer a leader in the company. Those are just some things to think about from a businessowners standpoint. But at the end of the day, the decision is yours.
7/16/2008 8:54 AM
uk_blackgyrl wrote:
Thanks, it does. I would never take just 6-8 weeks off; I think that is cruel. Thankfully, I live in a country where the doctors really take a dim view of people doing that.That being said, I don't think I will take an entire year off because I love working outside of the house. It's kind of funny trying to explain what I do because you can't really parlay it into anything that means something outside of the media, although since you deal with movies and television BlessedWoman, you would know. You guys would not believe how long I have been thinking about this-- 3 years! Due to UK laws, I have to return to my position that I left during maternity leave or else the company will be in serious trouble. I don't work in a coporate setting, more non-profit, but it is the biggest media outlet in the world. Without putting it out there, I am pretty sure that people know who it is.
You guys rock, thank you all so much. Being a man is so much easier sometimes. Plus you get to pee standing up! Reply to this
7/16/2008 11:47 AM
cocoalatte wrote:
uk blackgyrl - Do what your heart desires! Life is too short to live it for other people! I have seen woman ,some close who have sacrificed everything for career alone and were unhappy,lonely women in their 50's and 60's! Obviously you have worked d*amn hard to get to where you are,and thats to be commended,but work and career is NOT everything! You should not have to compromise your desire to become a parent to "make it".I know that there are certain companies that make it real hard for women to reach the higher levels within the company if they get pregnant or have children but its not totally impossible.For many companies their bottom line is $$$$,and anything that they feel interfres with their ability to make it is seen as more of a liability than an asset! Sad but true! However as I said its not impossible.I think that if you are good ,sh*t even great at what you do ,pregnant with child or not you should be viewed as an asset to a comapany,because you are productive! Corporate America esp can be cutthroat! I cant wait for the day when I can say I own my own sh*t and can run my own business on my terms and have more freedom.Trust me I'm determined and will get it oneday! People make huge sacrifices for companies that will hand you severance pay and your walking papers,and not think a moment more about you when your gone,God for bid! I dont have children yet but when I have 1 I'd certainly plan to bond with my child for as long as I can.
This is no way a slight towards women who intentionally choose to NOT have children,and are happy with that choice!It is a womans right,and every situation is obviously not right for everyone,so just do what makes you happy whether it includes having children or not! Reply to this
7/16/2008 12:36 PM
KaraZ (ME) wrote:
A friend of mine recently negotiated a deal with her employer and she's also in the UK. She went back to work half-time after 12 weeks, and works from home 2 days a week and goes in to the office once every other week. After the baby is 6 months old she plans on modifying this to work 3 days a week from home and possibly going into the office 5- 6 times a month. She will eventually go back after the full year. perhaps you'll be able to negotiate something similar with your employer, but if you want to expand your family I suggest you do it and be happy. At the end of the day your company can become extinct, bought over etc., but you can't get back your child bearing years once they're gone.
I always tell people who feel guilty/some kind of way about "screwing" their jobs, that if the job had to make you redundant they might feel bad, but they'd still get rid of your ass, so do what feels best for you, not just your job or career. best of luck Reply to this
7/16/2008 3:07 PM
BlessedWoman wrote:
uk_blackgyrl, I understand what you mean about not being able to parlay into anything that means something outside of the media, which is why thought should be put into your decision making process. whatever you decide to do, make sure that you dont have any regrets after doing it. Realize with whatever decision you choose, there will be a sacrifice, the question is, which sacrifice can you live with and have the fewest regrets. I can say that I went back to work for a few hours a day for about 3 months prior to coming back full time, some companies do that. The worst that could happen is that you return back to the job that you left prior to maternity leave, okay that sounds about right, then get in there and work on the promotion after you get back. It may not be as challenging as you're making it out to be. So what, if some of the girls in the office are younger than you, do what you feel you need to do for you. "If it is for me, it will be." If you are a good worker and know your stuff, it wont matter, your employer will know your value and your worth to the company. I can feel your fear, but sometimes we make things harder than they have to be.
That gospel song says, "What God has for me, is for me." Believe it. Either way,
I wish you and yours nothing but the best. May our decision reap a harvest for your family. Thank you for sharing with us. Reply to this
7/16/2008 2:04 PM
CocoaPeach wrote:
There is always a risk that some person in a company will discriminate against you secretly because of your marital status and children.
We have four young children. They were all born prior to my becoming an attorney and so I had to go through school and interview with the children looming in my mind. Every employer, including my current, had an HR person who was "unwise" enough to ask me about how many children I had during the interview process. However, none have held it against me (to my knowledge since I have gotten the positions and promotions).
Show yourself to be a capable, organized woman who is a mother. A GOOD company promotes work/life balance. As long as you are not the person who is constantly leaving work for a child-related emergency, it won't hold you back.
Law is one of the remaining bastions of gender discrimination and I have heard tell of women who were in firms and had their desire to have a child stand in the way of promotions. I have not seen that in corporate practice.
And how are you CocoaPeach. Although I know the discrimination happens, I havent seen a lot of it either. However, I do know of some women who want time off even if their child has a fever and the dr has prescribed meds and the babysitter is a Registered Nurse, or any little thing. Those would be the employees that most companies would red flag. Children are a part of life and most companies expect women to have children, which is why so many companies have incorporated daycares, etc. to accommodate their employees with children. Reply to this
7/16/2008 6:24 PM
cocoalatte wrote:
Blessed woman I like that idea of company incorporating the daycare into work place .I worked for a company once who had that ,and the employees could always go and check on their children during lunchbreak!I would imagine its very conveniant for some employees. Reply to this
I'm doing well sis and I hope that you are well. When I was a law clerk at one of the major auto manufacturing companies, they assigned me to research the feasibility, and associated risks of a company run daycare center. The project lasted the entire summer. As it turned out, it would have been a very good idea with a number of benefits to the company. It was being championed by, of all people, a MAN. Ultimately, the didn't follow through with the plan and decided, instead, to partner with local providers.
America is behind the ball on this one. Mothers would be more productive if they knew their children were nearby and safe. Reply to this
7/15/2008 7:02 PM
SouthnDiva wrote:
Sis, I will agree with you on this one! When I first read it I immediately thought of Gabrielle! Especially since she did the movie "Dave!" Reply to this
7/15/2008 7:07 PM
SouthnDiva wrote:
It is all good! I just posted to you up above! I am about to go and keep my King company! But I wanted to see the new BI before I retire. Reply to this
7/15/2008 7:09 PM
Chi-Town Reader wrote:
Well do the dang thing!!!! Nothing wrong with that. My King has made me mad and has now been demoted to prince for a day. Reply to this
7/15/2008 7:11 PM
SouthnDiva wrote:
Aww dayum! That isn't good getting demoted! Well, maybe he can make it up to you! Have him take you on a luncheon date! Reply to this
7/15/2008 6:44 PM
Incubus wrote:
anon2- I felt the same way about her in Bad Boys 2 as well!!! After seeing the trailer for 'Meet Dave', I thought she must be in dire need for money because that movie looks like absolute CRAP!!!! Reply to this
7/15/2008 10:28 PM
celebgossip wrote:
Now if we could only figure out why Eddie Murphy keep taking these whack roles.... Reply to this
This black female actress is hungrily taking any part thrown her way, even if the script is garbage. She no longer has standards because she desperately needs the money.
She's running out of money, partly, due to traveling all of the country to attend industry events, trying to snag a baller with no success.
She spends a fortune on designer dresses, beautiful jewelry, and high-end shoes but she always leaves empty handed despite being attractive.
She is now on an all-out "baller alert."
In her mind, only a high paid baller can keep her in the lifestyle she has become accustomed to, either that, or lose what she already has.
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This sounds like Gabrille Union.
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***O.T.***
ANYBODY see Timbaland on 106 the other day...A brother might be reachin but I think he outted himself and others, talking extensively bout his marriage
(Terrence and Keri Hilson were looking at him for bout an hour like, "OK, you can stop now")
He made a BIG deal about how "All us married guys hang together a lot, Me, USHER, JAY-Z...."
Um....yeah...
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Madam President, I move that one Gabrielle Monique Union be voted in as the subject of this Blind Item.
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Love your new handle MindSupreme
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Hey Mind Supreme, congrats on the lil angel!
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Hey S-diva! I just finished reading the last BI and saw your greeting. Thanks! Been busy with work and then went on family vacation and not able to log on as often. Hope all is well with you and yours!!
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Hey Sweetie! I am just THRILLED to see you back on the board! All is well here!
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Congrats on your little bundle of joy
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Thanks again everybody - the angel is pretending to sleep beside me now. Just had her 1st appointment today - the 2 day appointment - no jaundice, temp good, heart rate good, and birthweight up 3.8 oz since leaving the hospital Sunday. God is good.
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Yes he is - and you have found favor in the form of your precious little gift. Love her to pieces!!!
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Mind Supreme, you sound like such a proud papa and I love it, who came up with the name Nina, it's a pretty name?
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awww...congrats!
i will have to go with box office flop "meet dave" star, gabrielle union for the BI...
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Good Morning,
I wondered where you were last night as we immediately solved this blind item.
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hey blessed...i totally fell asleep on the baseball game last nite, they took forever!
this was a no-brainer, tho...
how r u??
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I'm good, I was watching the game as well. I had a lot of business tied to it, but I had to turn from Sheryl Crow singing the national anthem. I forgot, this wasnt a basketball game and Tamia or Deborah Cox or one of them wouldnt be coming out to sing. This is baseball, it would definitely be someone else.
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To Nina's Daddy:
Usual lurker, but may I second your motion? Gabby without a doubt.
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It has been properly moved and second'd. However, before we vote, some posters with knowledge have posed other possibilities - see below..
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I have not even read the other answers, but mindsupreme you are so on point. I mean really look @ that stupid meet dave, you can tell she was desperate.
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Hey MindSupreme, congrats on your new bundle of joy. I hope she brings you and the fam years of happiness!!
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Gabby Union? She's at all the industry functions!
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Hello to my PR fam!!!
I think it's gabby union too. wasn't she married to a football player and the latest movie she was in "meet dave" was a flop-so i read. i heard she has another movie set to come out too.
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Everyone that has a "baller" there. Sure she will be at the ESPY Awards to night in Hollywood..... See you there Gabby... good luck!
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Answer: Gabrielle Union
This might be the easiest blind item I've seen on PR. By the way this is my first time posting but been lurking for the LONGEST. I enjoy every bit of this site.
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Be 4 Real,
Welcome to PR, feel free to get in where you fit in.
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Is this my girl B4Real from beyonce-k.com? If not, my bad! LOL
I must agree this here was the easiest BI I've ever seen as well
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Southern Queen Dee,
No, I'm not her, although I am a Beyonce fan.
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Nina's Daddy, Be 4 Real:
I co-sign on the line for this one. This is too easy. Gabby should have stayed with her husband if she wanted to live that lifestyle she had. Making movies like Meet Dave really brings her credibility down as a good actress. I used to think she was wise in her movie decisions but this last one reeks of desperation!
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Good evening to all... Welcome Be For Real!!!
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Thanks for the welcome.
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I thought Gabby would have blown up after Bad Boys 2 but her career went nowhere and is now dead in the water. The football player didn't work and she was supporting him.
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Really damn! Gabby should know better
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Anon2, I thought the same thing. Gabby is very pretty & Bad Boys 2 did well, so I thought she would really go places and she's had some good roles, but lately...nah. Now, I never heard anything about her until after the marriage broke down. Was she this wild before she got married and it was just kept more on the low?
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OT-I am truly sorry to post at the start of this new BI but I literally just found out about all of the drama about one-hour ago. Just to be clear, I have NEVER posted under any other name except vanity. I have no idea what has happened and as I told the PR staff in a note I just sent, I have no reason to bite my tounge or post under another name to state my opinion to anyone, let alone Lit!!! I was shocked to see that Lit had spewed some of the garbage that she did about me without any proof at all and without giving me an opportunity to respond. I am not the most computer literate person out there, but having been a moderator for another site in the past, I do know that there can be various issues with IP addresses including with AOL which is where I normally post from. If anyone had asked me, I would have and still would gladly provide any information that was needed to clear this matter up.
To log on and read such nonsense from Lit, especially such pettiness as I allegedly had the nerve to challenge her truly showed Lit's insecurities and pettiness. I never challenged Lit. I only stated what my experience has shown and taught me. Does Lit truly believe that she is the only person who knows of what they speak? Did it ever occur to Lit that just maybe others, myself included, might have more experience than she does in certain areas of law, namely criminal law? The most ridiculous statement made was that if "we" continued to post under multiple handles legal action would be pursued!! Excuse me? Legal action for what exactly? Being wrongly accused of something. Hell, I had not yet written PR's staff as I just found out about this. Again, I highly respect Myra, but this is no way for a so-called legal professional to act...certainly not on the behalf of a client. I hope my comments are allowed to stay up as Lit has been allowed to assinate my character at whim.
BTW Lit...I am on my way to Court...to arraign one of my MANY clients!!! You have a good day now.
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First of all I didn't discover your many split personalities.. Eric did and that had nothing to do with me..
Secondly, if you are a lawyer and I seriously doubt that you are, your bar fees must be astronomical since I'm you have to pay for all 5 of your personalities to practice.
And I have no reason to be petty towards anyone.. I'm under 30.. I drive a Benz that I pay for.. live in a 2500 square foot house that I pay for complete with a 2 car garage and my own pond in the backyard.. If you google my name you find over 30 newspaper articles written on me.. Because I am on game.. other lawyers seek me out and pay me to try cases with them because my reputation is legendary and UNLIKE you I have someone on this board who can tell you that I ain't gotta lie to kick it.. Because on top of all these wonderful things I have done.. I landed the representation of the baddest chick in the blogging game...
On top of all this I had the nerve to go and be born beautiful, have amazing fashion sense and a killer sense of humor... so why in the hell would I be jealous of someone who can't decide what their name or occupation is ???
And I'll tell you what I tell the good old white boys here.. I don't care how much experience you have or how long you've been practicing.. when you come into court against me.. I'm going to show you how to do it correctly.. insecure??? not a word that anyone who knows me would ever use to describe me..
Instead of court you may want to run to a psychiatrist and get help for your MANY personalities.. I notice that you never threatened to sue for defamation.. cause you know the truth is an absolute defense?? BYE BYE Thanks
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ThiS is why you are a "friend in my head". Too funny!
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hey celeb... no I am your friend in your heart.. having friends in her head is what got her in this mess to begin with...LOL
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LOL!! Hey Lit, put your earrings back on and refer to my post below for the soundtrack of the evening!
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LOL.. girl you know I don't fight but my bf says I can really cut people up with my words..but I'm getting better.. but it's a process...LOL
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I think the cut with words is deadlier than a fight.
And I second that killer sense of humor! you keep me in stitches. LMAO
Seriously, my hat is off to you, for handling it so well, but I wouldnt expect anything less. Thank you for being you, fam.
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HEY BW.. you know you always bring out the funniest stories in me..
I was in court one day with this much much older white attorney who kept telling me that he had been practicing longer than I had been alive.. anywhoo he files this motion and I tell the judge the motion should be deferred because it's premature.. this leads to a pissing contest between me and the old white guy.. so he's starts telling me if I am so smart show it to him in the code book.. then he has the audacity to slide the book down the table towards me and says, "you know so much, you show me."
I coolly slid the book back down the table and said "No where on my resume does it say law clerk to Mr. Old good old boy.. and since you've been practicing longer than I've been alive you should be able to read this for yourself." The judge tried to diffuse the situation by turning to the statute that I was referring to but there was complete silence in the courtroom. I didn't know my bf had been in the back of the courtroom the whole time and as we were going to lunch he was like um you really hurt people's feelings with your words... I gave a half hearted apology to the old white lawyer because maybe I was a little rough with him but shoot I get tired of that I been practicing blah blah blah..
But the running joke between me and my friends now is I ain't your law clerk
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That's a funny story.
I have to agree, though. I get so tired of the "I've been doing XYZ for this many years" statement. That bothers me to no end.
I hear that more often than not when dealing with real estate agents.
Another self-validating statement I hate is the old, "I'm ranked number so-and-so". I always seem to here that statement out of people who are ranked in the middle or the road, but they say it like it's suppose to really impress me.
The amount of years a person has been doing something or your ranking really doesn't mean that a person can never be wrong.
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litigating/lauryn,
Diva you are a B-A-D chick! Remind me to NEVER get on your bad side. I love this story because this is something my friends and I would do.
Sending you a cyber "hi five"
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7/16/2008 5:43 AM
Anonymous wrote:
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;(
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I hate when people underestimate me b/c of my age. I just keep the motto, I can show you better than I can tell you!
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ROFLMAO, girl you are hilarious!I'm sure the old geezer didnt think he would get that type of response from a young black woman. But I totally understand, because being a female business owner in a male dominated society those mind games are real and it truly is necessary. I'm gonna copy and paste this story and pass it on to my kids. I like to share positive stories with them and this one is just that, the story of a young black female attorney who refuses to be dominated and controlled by white male society and holding her own intellectually. My kids arent your age yet, but you have accomplished what I would like to see them accomplish at an early age.
Take a bow, sister!
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Litigating...I second that. Interesting that we have the same name, same profession and same age range..but anyway...
I had the same situation with an older white male adversary who in the middle of a telephone conference attempted to talk down to me on a certain point. The issue of the conference touched about a real estate transaction and while he attempted to pull a fast one, he had the nerve, the gall, audacity to infer that "if I practiced in real estate law, I would know...".
He was completely off base and as I tore him a new one while pointing out his inartful attempt to belittle me, he could not apologize and hang the phone up fast enough. My co-counsel (who was also on the conference call) and I still laugh about it. I can still get whatever I want from him!! The things people try.....
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I believe I owe you an apology.. you posted on another thread and because of some of the "multiple personalities" we were experiencing at the time I thought you were picking on me with the double L handle..LOL.. but as you just explained you have the same initials.. I apologize for being so sensitive.. Welcome to the board.. please jump into the conversation more often
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Very Nice Lit Real Nice
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ty Sheknows..but when you're wrong you're wrong so what else is there to do ??LOL
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Bring em out, bring em out! LMAO @ L/L
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I agree with your statement as well... I had a girlfriend in college that was tiny (125 lbs soaking wet), but when she used to get into confrontations with people and they wanted to fight her, she would use her words and make them feel so little... I love that about people when they can use their words without swearing and having the ability to make people look so ignorant.... That's why I enjoy your post Miss Litigating/Lauryn!!! Thank you for bringing me back to my college days...
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I agree also...I lurk mostly and always enjoy litigating/lauryn posts. Like Wendy Williams always says " I feel like she(litigating/lauryn) is a friend in my head...smooches
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ROFLMAL, you still need help, there you go, LMAO @ "having friends in her head is waht got her in this mess to begin with."
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I concur and stand corrected! Sorry about the double post.
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This is why you are a "friend in my head". Too funny!
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"Because on top of all these wonderful things I have done.."
"On top of all this I had the nerve to go and be born beautiful"
WTF?
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I didn't stutter.. beautiful smart and funny.. trifecta
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LOL! Smart you are! Girl, you LITERALLY had me google the word "trifecta"....never even heard of the word before. Trifecta = Triple
Dag, now you got me feeling all stupid!
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! to quote Ric Flair,
Somebody just got "Ether-ed" Hip Hop Heads know what I'm talking bout. I apologize to the staff for even speaking on it, but that should be the cherry on the sundae, does MPD have Masochism as a symptom? My monitor still smoking after that science that just got dropped by Litigating, You should just shorten it to just Lit, as in you just LIT THAT @$$ UP! awright, please don't ban me, but I love it when HOT FIRE get spit, that prose needs to be on Wax, better than 90% of lyrics actually being sold today. I couldnt keep taking these verbal lashings, these LEGIONs (for they are many, it's in the good book!) are GLUTTONS for Punishment!
I'm sorry again yall, but this ish is like a Tyson Fight circa 86, Sybil, Yall knocked out and you don't even know it, STAY DOWN!
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LOL.. you did not say Rick Flair... but where have you been you been MIA for a minute?? welcome back.. missed your sense of humor !!
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Dang Lit! I love it when you "Stomp the Yard" like that.
(Dr. to Nurse): Ok, let's start an IV drip, 3cc's of morphine for the pain, and the sutures should stay as long as the patient does not move and stays quiet.
They should have known (all 5 of them) that just because somebody invites you into their back yard does not mean you can piss on the lawn! That will learn em!
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okay I did not see the "piss on the lawn" coming.. LMAO.. yes please don't piss on the lawn...
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Been workin hard Counsel, thanks for the welcome, it's truly good to be missed, especially by one as lovely and gifted as your self.
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glad someone is working around here cause we got bills to pay
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Damn Lit, did you really have to shut ol' girl down like THAT? I work in the legal field too, I don't ever want to face you in court...Two tiny drops of pee came out when I read your post...I'm scared!! (wink)
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Hey Fresh, she fine as hell to.
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Hey Spymaster, I bet she is...I'm sure they never see her coming!!
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I know exactly what "Ether-ed" means and that was the greatest reference to how Litigating just broke it down to the white meat.
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Wowie wow. Just read all that. Hot damn! I too know just what "ethered" means and it's a great compliment. Like Nas shut down Jay-Z, that's how lit shut down GG/Bingo/vanity/whoever.
Cheers! That was good stuff!
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Sound like a bunch of runny doodoo to me. I read all that nonsense and people can come on the internet and be whoever they want to be. Nobody can prove that what anyone is saying on here is truth. A person who is confident and really has it going on does not need to point out what kind of car they drive, house they live in, etc.etc. I think you all are highly immature...Please stop.
But what I would like to know is why people come on here and act like this is bet.com with all the chatting and bickering. Can't we just solve blind items??..Dang
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Since I work for Myra and she owns the site.. I'm betting she can prove that what I say is truth.. Jealousy really is a very ugly monster.. spend less time worry about what I'm doing and maybe when you can grow up you can be just like me..until then kick bricks
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No, I would not consider myself that new, I just don't have the time to post as much as some of you. I have a career that's very demanding, sorry. And I am just not that much of a blogger. I dont have the desire to post comments all the time. Sometimes I come here and solve the blind items in my mind or believe that I have and move on. I like to read the other topics they have on this website about celebs from " back in the day " and all the scandals they were involved in. Interesting stuff...It is too bad if you believe people who have never seen any of you before and don't know anything about you, could be jealous. That is weird to me and I am sorry if that is what you got from my previous post. Now I am done with it. It is not my intention to argue back and forth..moving on and kicking rocks as you say
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I guess if you love the front page and can solve the BI in your head by yourself you really don't need us here in the comment section. I do like your handle and I must say I find you to be brilliant ... also insane, but brilliant.
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of course you're not new ...you just needed time to "discover" your sixth personality.. gonna check Guiness and see what the world record is..if you try really hard I am sure you can break it
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you are obviously new?
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And you are obviously a veteran
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@gritsonmyhead
Although your delivery was fairly abrasive, I did grasp the underlying sentiment; however I don't think it was fair to Litigating particularly since she was not unprovoked--she was defending herself.
I see your point to the extent that I'm still trying to "bounce back" from that whole episode (that shall remain unspoken) and get to the point where I find the site "fun" and entertaining again...I'll get there. In terms of your statement...here are my thoughts:
As I am sure Litigating has learned, being a successful, black, female attorney subjects you to as much disdain as it does admiration...
I'm feeling very "old" at 35 (although I know that is young) because I'm getting wiser I suppose. I do remember the days when I had a chip on my shoulder and felt that I had to prove I was successful. I've found that as you settle into it, that need subsides unless challenged. Hopefully it subsides altogether...eventually.
I don't talk about how much I earn. I stopped signing everything with my name...Esq.
We don't drive our "toy" car very often, it stays in the garage and I drive my Camry to work (and my husband drives his jeep. My co-workers don't even know about my toy. it would only create resentment where it need not exist. So they see the Toyota, and since I don't live in the town where I work--that's all they will ever see. It keeps things simple and friendly.
My home is extravagant enough to make my children comfortable and proud--but it is well under what I can afford. I invested the difference in price. They will go to college and live very well off of the return on that investment.
I've also learned not to always tell people what I do for a living because it doesn't earn you any friends---only resentment--and a few people who want to use you.
I do have a shoe and fashion fetish that I refuse to compromise and I catch flack for it in and out of the office...and a thing for gold jewelry...but outside of that, I've learned to be more modest because the negative energy is just not worth it.
That being said, I think that Litigating was defending herself from an attack, rather than bragging or showing insecurity.
People are going to be people from the day they take their first breath to the day they take their last. That it life.
Now I KNOW I'm getting old. But I welcome it. It takes a lot of energy, being a young hot-head.
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Since I'm preaching anyway...*smile
Flies AND people like honey way more than vinegar. That's something my sweet southern mama taught me without even trying, and now that I'm old enough to "get it", I truly appreciate her for that.
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no comment on the "older" comment but you are definitely wise.. It may be impossible to believe after my rant but usually I am very modest.. I am uncomfortable with compliments not even sure why that is.. and at least in my mind I was attacked for no good reason.. as I said I didn't discover the multiple personalities... I was completely shocked that the person wouldn't just move on..instead insisting that the staff was lying..anywhoo I am sure that it would have been a classier to move to just have skipped over the post altogether but that whole "experience thing" is my pet peeve and I was not happy about being blamed for her MPD.. now who do you think the drug kingpin that financed the broadway play is ??
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@Litigating,
I don't doubt that you are modest. Trust me, I understand where your "rant" came from. I can't count how many times I've had other black people express that they didn't "believe" I was an attorney. That hurts on a lot of levels because of all the people who you have to fight...you hope that just once--one of your own will "understand" and be proud of you. I don't think you were being immodest; I think you were attacked and defending yourself on levels that a lot of people haven't ever experienced.
You are a litigator to your core. You know how they say that lawyers are made--but litigators are BORN. It is true, which is why in law firms (and in-house) they separate us from the others. One "elder statesman" litigator told me that the litigators are like the Kamakazi fighter pilots...we only get called in for the kill...
I say that to say, I understand everything you did and said--and that when attacked, you are going to do what you do--litigate
My guess for the drug kingpin would be Supreme MCGriff. When I was in death penalty, I followed his federal case for a while (just out of interest, I wasn't on that defense team).
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Lit
Girl, You are my kinda lady!!!
This is what I am in the midst of teaching my daughter. One day she said to me "I wish I could cuss", I told her you could get that same point across without using those words. I told her don't get use to using those words (you know kids do stuff when we arent present) and to expand her vocabulary and to not dumb down herself to make someone else feel better.
Yo go girl!!!I need to copy some of your tell off statements and show to her as examples. LMAO
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And you are so right.. my dad always told me that cursing was a sign of a limited vocabulary.. now it doesn't even sound natural when I curse because I'm just not used to it.. besides tell her it is a lot of fun watching less evolved people try to figure out what you said to them..LOL
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So true = "it is a lot of fun watching less evolved people try to figure out what you said to them.."
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what the hell happened in here can somdebody please tell me why lit and vanity are scratching each others eyes out, i hate been left out of things, reminds me of high school.
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Girl, too long of a story! Go to the previous BI and you will see the drama unfold! Litigating just came back on to get her point across. It is all good, we are all grown, mature and SEXY as hell! Hell, PR doesn't DIE it multiplies! Aww shoot, maybe I shouldn't have used that word! LOL! The fam is getting bigger and sometimes when you start adding other family members to the mix, it may go smoothly and then sometimes it may not!
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litigating aka the hottest chick in the game!!
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What's your name? I would like to Google. Thanks
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and I recently heard on tom joyner that CHRIS WEBBER aka my future husband is NOT, i repeat NOT married! Wooohoooo!!
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so uh I cut that chick's brake line for nothing ??? Lawd Lawd
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lol it may not have been a lost cause, she'll think twice before accepting a proposal (lmao)
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LMAO.. that was funny.. did you get a chance to pick up the LSAT study books?? I'm going to try and see if I can you up with a mentor in Houston.. Just someone you can bounce ideas off of and just see what it's like being a lawyer...
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That's an excellent resource. I made sure I connected with one of the professors in my major my freshman year and he was so helpful. The connections I made through him helped me get my first job out of college and he still gives me advice.
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very smart move Peaches..I think at least part of the reason why white people advance faster is because they pick a mentore to learn from and make connections with
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Litigating is right. Also, don't rule out white male mentors. I've found them to be more open to help, and more powerful in terms of connections. They also aren't generally threatened by your success (provided they are older and more established than you) so they will do more to help you be successful.
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I so adore you.
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ty
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Go 'head then girl...
You had me rollin' my neck and everything!
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Thanks anon2 for the heads up. Good evening everyone. Again, the BI is off to a good start with the answers.
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Hey Chi Town Reader! What is going on!?
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paris did say at one time that blind items were not always done on the same people. albeit gabby is a good guess. however, it is "strange" how gabby seems not to be able to find a decent suitor.
however, i am just "ms. over-analyze to a fault," so it may as well be gabby.
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Gabrielle Union or Vivica Fox?
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Hot diggety dog, I believe this is Gabrielle Union!!!!
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Good Evening PR Family!!! I say either Gabby OR Sanaa... I remember someone saying that Sanaa attends events looking for ballers too ? Which is strange and she's Stan Lathan's daughter..
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Hey Sheknows!
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Hey Chi-Town, Girl how are ya? What you been up to?
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Nothing much, just working hard. I read the posts from the other thread - wow - wow - all I can say is wow. But on a lighter note - how have you been? I just got rid of the 4 year old Sunday and I was recuperating yesterday. Today pharoah had us slaves making bricks without straw.
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Girl,I have been fine
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Try not to think in the "now". Focus on the end results - it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there as long as you finish the journey. Want me to do some of your classes for you? Won't know what the hell I'm doing, but anything to help a friend out.
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Good evening SheKnows! Get some rest Girl. I know I'll be turning in soon. Hang in there-it will all be worth it in the end
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Thanks Ms.Coleman,
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Hey Sheknows, girl Chi-town gave you some excellent advice up top. Keep up the good work, you know it will all pay of for you in the end. I hope you have a good day, today, and ttyl!!
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Hey Artist Baby!!! Thanks
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Hi ChiTown, SheKnows, prettyprincess,eyeonU2 and other chitown people. Hello to GS,litigating/lauryn/ BlessedWoman and everyone I may have missed.
I think this may be Gabby too, though I am not au fait with a lot of black actresses that are not superstars.
I don't want to mention yesterday, but it was surreal. Flipping hell, I have not seen anything like it on this board! Hopefully, all of the troublemakers will have gone.
Anyway, I want to go off topic and ask and ask for some opinions. I am a mother of one and have finally got on track to get ahead in the cutthroat industry I work in. The thing is, I am in my early 30's, my husband is in his late 30's and we have a lovely 5 year old. I would like another child, but I am worried that it would adversely affect my chances of promotion as the other women that have been hired are single and in their early-mid 20's. Now I am entitled to a year off with pay. What would you do? Any and all advice is appeciated.
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congrats on your achievements. any boss that would not promote you because you are pregnant or because you're still creating your fam is an azz and, isn't that against some law? (discrimination?-i don't know...save me Lit!) But when the day is done and over with, if you and your husband can breathe easy knowing that you made the right choice in expanding the fam, then i think that's the right choice. I started my dream job 3 months ago, and found out i was pregnant a month into the job. i was happy, but nervous about what my boss would think. i woke up one morning and was like "screw it", the LORD wouldn't have blessed me if he knew i couldn't handle it. so i marched into my job and told my boss that i was pregnant....and he was happy and hasn't treated me any different, or keeping advancement from me. GOOD LUCK!!
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Well stated hunnyluv!!
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Hey UkGirl
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SheKnows and Hunnyluv, you gave some great advice!
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Hey uk!! Okay I don't have any choldren yet so I am a little hesitant to give advice on this subject.. But maybe there are other options.. How far do you think are from a promotion? Could you maybe wait another year get the promotion and then get pregnant?? I know some people like to have their children closer together in age but my 2 brothers are 5 years apart and they are thicker than thieves..
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Hi UKBlackgirl, I know how you feel. I have 2 girls, my youngest just turned 5. I am in Coporate America in the finance industry. I am the only woman in my group besides the admin. I work with all men and the majority are white. So I know cut throat. I made my priorities known when they interviewed me. I have a family. My husband and children come first. Now I handle my business. I have an excellent performance record. But at the end of the day it will be my family that will be there not my job. I don't know ur faith, but I would pray on it. God always makes a way.
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Thank you to all that have responded and may respond. I'll answer some questions right quick.
*I work in the media for a MAJOR media coporation. I mean huge. Although I am not in an entry-level position, I am not in a high position either. When I say I worked hard to get here, I went on courses, made the tea, did unpaid and freelance work. I once worked retail and worked for this company just to keep my name in people's heads.
Anyway, last year this job came up and it was not to be missed, since full-term contracts are like gold dust in this industry. Unless I act a zip-damned fool or they cut positions, I am here until I retire. The maternity benefits are very good and I would even get my annual pay raises even while on maternity leave.
The type of job that I do is something I can't really research and get info from outside sources; it is kind of specialized to this company. All of my advancement training and opportunities would come from in-house.
It's not so much the guys but the other women! There are so many child-haters in this industry and it's like you have betrayed the sisterhood because you want kids. Funny that I had to come here to talk about it because I would never discuss this with my colleagues.
Lit, I don't really know how far I am from a promotion as I would need to wait for someone to leave to apply or find another department. There is a major shakeup coming in a couple years, so I am trying to get in the starting block for that so I can have my game tight for when the time comes.
Thanks for listening everyone. My son means the world to me and he is begging me to have in his words "a brown baby brother. And a cat."
I guess if I am happy with my job (I am,) I won't be losing out too much, then there is nothing stopping me from having another one. I guess I hate to admit that I just want to be a full-time mommy again for a year. I will let you all know if I have some happy news. Okay, back to the BI. (Sorry for going OT with a long post!)
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Uk, I have just turned 30 and I am advancing in my profession at lightning speed. (You wouldn't believe the hate!) But, my husband and I wanted to start a family and so I had to make a decision similar to yours. I knew that I would be subjected to even more scrutiny as a pregnant woman, but I had to keep remembering that my dreams were not simply for a successful career, but they included a happy home-life as well.
*Side-bar, I started this career at 22, which was unheard of because it was considered too young. I had to work directly with the fierce, well respected, and established.... dare I say feared women in my field (think Meryl Streep’s character in The Devil Wears Prada x 10). They got together and decided that it was their duty to haze me because I was more than half their ages and they felt that I somehow did not deserve to have the chances that they could not get until their late 40s. However, I earned my spot with blood, sweat, and tears. But through all of my trials and tribulations I learned how to play the game. So these women saw that I could hold my own, in spite of their efforts to block my advancement, and they decided to "school" me. The first thing they told me was not to date seriously until I was in my mid-30s and not to marry until I was at least 42, and children in our line of work are definitely out of the question. In their minds there just wasn't enough time for kids or a needy husband. Well needless to say, all of these unmarried divas are 60+ and while they are the epitome fabulous, that was never what I wanted to be [well the unmarried part at least ;~) ]. My dream included a husband, children, and a successful career. Who were they to tell me that I could not have it all? By the way, a colleague who started with me suffered a massive heart attack, due to the pressures of the workplace, and died 3 years into the game at 44 years old. They replaced her in less than 36 hours with no pomp and circumstance and no love lost. That shocked me to the core. She gave her soul to succeed and well…. To make a long story short I married at 25 and had my first child at 28. I didn’t tell them that I was pregnant until I was 6 months because I was up for a huge promotion which I would not have gotten if the company knew that I was with child (I mean they had just forgiven me for getting married). They thought pregnancy was some sort of crippling disease. In any event, that promotion led to several high profile opportunities, in which I did my thang and propelled my career to even higher heights and left the devil divas shakin’ in their boots.*
All that to say, do what makes you and your family happy. Your collective happiness should come first not some job, even if it is a dream career. Please understand that if something happens to your job will replace you in heartbeat. But family is irreplaceable, and a decision to expand should not be a hindrance to your career. It should enhance your whole being. All the best!
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work it out girl!! I'm proud of you!
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Hey Lady how are you? You have been given some good advice so let me just add, I too am in corporate and I'm a firm believer of building your network. I have many mentors and am currently looking for a new sponser (someone to promote my goals in a position to do so, behind the scenes)after my last promotion my previous sponser & I are almost at the same level so while our relationship is still cool, she doesn't have the influence to get me to the next level bec it's pretty much where she wants to be as well.
It seems like you have an idea of what you need to do but were looking for a sounding board. If your manager or your manager's managwr is trustworthy, I'd sit down with them to discuss my short/long term goals with the company. Come prepared to discuss your strengths & opportunities and ask if they can support those goals. Also ask if they can provide inout/direction to help turn those goals into reality. Lastly I'd be seeking a sponsor that can help as well. The ? they usually ask is What's in it for me- we say WIFM? The answer is an incredibly talented asset to the comp who will bring positive feedback for the association.
I know I'm late but hope this is useful. It's the advise that I provide for my mentee's.
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You are exactly right-- I have an idea but I needed a sounding board and some other thoughts and opinions. Bottom line is unless I do something catastrophically stupid, I am with this company for the forseeable. I have had my appraisial and it was very good. That is what made the decision a little bit harder because I was told I am on track to move up and they could see me moving up.
Again, thank you for all of the advice and stories you have shared. I don't get to talk to other African-American women and here is a rich mix of professional women that are mothers and childless that I can get some knowledge from. This has been invaluable. Funny thing is life-- I have just been given a huge responsibilty for my department today that means everyone will need to come to me to get certain things approved and authorised. I thought I was going to the training just to help out if the main person was sick, on vacation or had too much to do. Nope, it's all on me now. Like everything else, I will approach it with positivity and a smile on my face.
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Hi uk_blackgyrl,
Wow, it seems you have some decisions to make. Before starting my own business years ago, I worked in corporate america and had all of my kids while working, so it's a decision that needs to be made carefully. The first thing to do is to pray about your situation and ask God for wisdom and guidance. Also, assess your situation at this moment and see how a baby would affect your lives. However, I would probably gain the promotion first, its more difficult to release you from your position once you have it than to keep from advancing you in the company. I would also not consider being off work for a year even if they give you a year off. The average woman that has a child only takes a 6 to 8 week maternity leave, then its back to work. Consider something shorter than a year. A year away would be scarey for any businessowner, including myself. If you're off a year, you've given all of the younger workers the opportunity to learn more about the company and the politics of the company and when you return, you will have to be brought up to speed. That means you are behind the 8-ball at that time and no longer a leader in the company. Those are just some things to think about from a businessowners standpoint. But at the end of the day, the decision is yours.
I hope this helps, fam!
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Thanks, it does. I would never take just 6-8 weeks off; I think that is cruel. Thankfully, I live in a country where the doctors really take a dim view of people doing that.That being said, I don't think I will take an entire year off because I love working outside of the house. It's kind of funny trying to explain what I do because you can't really parlay it into anything that means something outside of the media, although since you deal with movies and television BlessedWoman, you would know. You guys would not believe how long I have been thinking about this-- 3 years!
Due to UK laws, I have to return to my position that I left during maternity leave or else the company will be in serious trouble. I don't work in a coporate setting, more non-profit, but it is the biggest media outlet in the world. Without putting it out there, I am pretty sure that people know who it is.
You guys rock, thank you all so much. Being a man is so much easier sometimes. Plus you get to pee standing up!
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uk blackgyrl - Do what your heart desires! Life is too short to live it for other people! I have seen woman ,some close who have sacrificed everything for career alone and were unhappy,lonely women in their 50's and 60's! Obviously you have worked d*amn hard to get to where you are,and thats to be commended,but work and career is NOT everything! You should not have to compromise your desire to become a parent to "make it".I know that there are certain companies that make it real hard for women to reach the higher levels within the company if they get pregnant or have children but its not totally impossible.For many companies their bottom line is $$$$,and anything that they feel interfres with their ability to make it is seen as more of a liability than an asset! Sad but true! However as I said its not impossible.I think that if you are good ,sh*t even great at what you do ,pregnant with child or not you should be viewed as an asset to a comapany,because you are productive! Corporate America esp can be cutthroat! I cant wait for the day when I can say I own my own sh*t and can run my own business on my terms and have more freedom.Trust me I'm determined and will get it oneday! People make huge sacrifices for companies that will hand you severance pay and your walking papers,and not think a moment more about you when your gone,God for bid! I dont have children yet but when I have 1 I'd certainly plan to bond with my child for as long as I can.
This is no way a slight towards women who intentionally choose to NOT have children,and are happy with that choice!It is a womans right,and every situation is obviously not right for everyone,so just do what makes you happy whether it includes having children or not!
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A friend of mine recently negotiated a deal with her employer and she's also in the UK. She went back to work half-time after 12 weeks, and works from home 2 days a week and goes in to the office once every other week. After the baby is 6 months old she plans on modifying this to work 3 days a week from home and possibly going into the office 5- 6 times a month. She will eventually go back after the full year. perhaps you'll be able to negotiate something similar with your employer, but if you want to expand your family I suggest you do it and be happy. At the end of the day your company can become extinct, bought over etc., but you can't get back your child bearing years once they're gone.
I always tell people who feel guilty/some kind of way about "screwing" their jobs, that if the job had to make you redundant they might feel bad, but they'd still get rid of your ass, so do what feels best for you, not just your job or career.
best of luck
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uk_blackgyrl,
I understand what you mean about not being able to parlay into anything that means something outside of the media, which is why thought should be put into your decision making process.
whatever you decide to do, make sure that you dont have any regrets after doing it. Realize with whatever decision you choose, there will be a sacrifice, the question is, which sacrifice can you live with and have the fewest regrets. I can say that I went back to work for a few hours a day for about 3 months prior to coming back full time, some companies do that. The worst that could happen is that you return back to the job that you left prior to maternity leave, okay that sounds about right, then get in there and work on the promotion after you get back. It may not be as challenging as you're making it out to be. So what, if some of the girls in the office are younger than you, do what you feel you need to do for you. "If it is for me, it will be." If you are a good worker and know your stuff, it wont matter, your employer will know your value and your worth to the company. I can feel your fear, but sometimes we make things harder than they have to be.
That gospel song says, "What God has for me, is for me." Believe it. Either way,
I wish you and yours nothing but the best. May our decision reap a harvest for your family. Thank you for sharing with us.
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There is always a risk that some person in a company will discriminate against you secretly because of your marital status and children.
We have four young children. They were all born prior to my becoming an attorney and so I had to go through school and interview with the children looming in my mind. Every employer, including my current, had an HR person who was "unwise" enough to ask me about how many children I had during the interview process. However, none have held it against me (to my knowledge since I have gotten the positions and promotions).
Show yourself to be a capable, organized woman who is a mother. A GOOD company promotes work/life balance. As long as you are not the person who is constantly leaving work for a child-related emergency, it won't hold you back.
Law is one of the remaining bastions of gender discrimination and I have heard tell of women who were in firms and had their desire to have a child stand in the way of promotions. I have not seen that in corporate practice.
Good Luck!
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Touche"
And how are you CocoaPeach. Although I know the discrimination happens, I havent seen a lot of it either. However, I do know of some women who want time off even if their child has a fever and the dr has prescribed meds and the babysitter is a Registered Nurse, or any little thing. Those would be the employees that most companies would red flag. Children are a part of life and most companies expect women to have children, which is why so many companies have incorporated daycares, etc. to accommodate their employees with children.
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Blessed woman I like that idea of company incorporating the daycare into work place .I worked for a company once who had that ,and the employees could always go and check on their children during lunchbreak!I would imagine its very conveniant for some employees.
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@Blessed Woman
I'm doing well sis and I hope that you are well. When I was a law clerk at one of the major auto manufacturing companies, they assigned me to research the feasibility, and associated risks of a company run daycare center. The project lasted the entire summer. As it turned out, it would have been a very good idea with a number of benefits to the company. It was being championed by, of all people, a MAN.
Ultimately, the didn't follow through with the plan and decided, instead, to partner with local providers.
America is behind the ball on this one. Mothers would be more productive if they knew their children were nearby and safe.
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Sis, I will agree with you on this one! When I first read it I immediately thought of Gabrielle! Especially since she did the movie "Dave!"
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Hey SouthnDiva! How is your evening progressing?
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It is all good! I just posted to you up above! I am about to go and keep my King company! But I wanted to see the new BI before I retire.
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Well do the dang thing!!!! Nothing wrong with that. My King has made me mad and has now been demoted to prince for a day.
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Aww dayum! That isn't good getting demoted! Well, maybe he can make it up to you! Have him take you on a luncheon date!
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Have a wonderful evening SDiva-see you tomorrow *cyber smooches*
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Girl, giving you a cyberhug! Have a blessed night!
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Maybe I'll catch you tomorrow. Good and blessed night.
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anon2- I felt the same way about her in Bad Boys 2 as well!!! After seeing the trailer for 'Meet Dave', I thought she must be in dire need for money because that movie looks like absolute CRAP!!!!
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Now if we could only figure out why Eddie Murphy keep taking these whack roles....
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it simple...for the chance to dress in drag without questions...
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Now that was funny!
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Ms. Gabby i want a baller Union.
or lauren london, tichina arnold.
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