A Full Life in the Emptiest of Places

I spent the entire month of December in the book of Isaiah.  Once I arrived at Isaiah 58, I stayed there for a long time, reading it over, and over.  Just this morning I pulled out my Bible and found what I was looking for easily- because it now opens to the creased pages of the 58th chapter on it's own.

Over the course of our trip, different people came back to it again and again.  It's a common passage in the threads of social justice, so it's not that it was particularly unusual or remarkable that it was on our hearts collectively- but the themes of this chapter are incredible.

Isaiah 58

Your Prayers Won't Get Off the Ground

 ^1-3 "Shout! A full-throated shout! Hold nothing back—a trumpet-blast shout!
Tell my people what's wrong with their lives,
   face my family Jacob with their sins!
They're busy, busy, busy at worship,
   and love studying all about me.
To all appearances they're a nation of right-living people—
   law-abiding, God-honoring.
They ask me, 'What's the right thing to do?'
   and love having me on their side.
But they also complain,
   'Why do we fast and you don't look our way?
   Why do we humble ourselves and you don't even notice?'

 ^3-5"Well, here's why:
   "The bottom line on your 'fast days' is profit.
   You drive your employees much too hard.
You fast, but at the same time you bicker and fight.
   You fast, but you swing a mean fist.
The kind of fasting you do
   won't get your prayers off the ground.
Do you think this is the kind of fast day I'm after:
   a day to show off humility?
To put on a pious long face
   and parade around solemnly in black?
Do you call that fasting,
   a fast day that I, God, would like?
 ^6-9"This is the kind of fast day I'm after:
   to break the chains of injustice,
   get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
   free the oppressed,
   cancel debts.
What I'm interested in seeing you do is:
   sharing your food with the hungry,
   inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
   putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
   being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
   and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
   The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
   You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.' 

A Full Life in the Emptiest of Places

^9-12"If you get rid of unfair practices,
   quit blaming victims,
   quit gossiping about other people's sins,
If you are generous with the hungry
   and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,
   your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go.
   I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places—
   firm muscles, strong bones.
You'll be like a well-watered garden,
   a gurgling spring that never runs dry.
You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,
   rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You'll be known as those who can fix anything,
   restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
   make the community livable again.
 ^13-14"If you watch your step on the Sabbath
   and don't use my holy day for personal advantage,
If you treat the Sabbath as a day of joy,
   God's holy day as a celebration,
If you honor it by refusing 'business as usual,'
   making money, running here and there—
Then you'll be free to enjoy God!
   Oh, I'll make you ride high and soar above it all.
I'll make you feast on the inheritance of your ancestor Jacob."
   Yes! God says so! (Isaiah 58, The Message)

A Letter from Zambia

Grace, Patience, Lily, and Hudson-

Kids, I miss you so much tonight that my heart hurts.  I can't talk to you, so I will write you a letter instead.

My trip here was very, very long.  The only thing that will get me back on an airplane next is the hope that you and Daddy will be there when I get home.

I've seen lots of people who speak many different languages.  I flew near the Sahara Desert, and we flew by Mount Kilimanjaro.  Ethiopia was beautiful, and it had trees FULL of purple flowers!  I went to Zimbabwe too, and it was very, very green.  When I was there, there was only one country between me and the Indian Ocean- do you know which one it was?

I flew all the way across the Atlantic Ocean- and I've missed you every minute I've been gone.

The grasshoppers here in Zambia are very colorful, and they like to flip backwards!  I took a bath with a big snail tonight- and the children here in Zambia are beautiful, just like you.

I can't wait to be with you again.  I love you!

Love,
Mom

Preparing Room

Jet lag.  I've been exhausted for days.  I've been going to bed at 7 or so in the evening, then sleeping like a rock until about 2:30 AM.  For no reason I can imagine, this is my magic hour of awakeness.  I'll fall asleep again at around 5. 

Thursday morning I heard a few planes fly over our house en route to the airport (a sound I typically tune out entirely).  I shuddered involuntarily and my stomach tied in a knot.  True story.  I'd like to not board another plane for a little while.  Get some distance from air travel.

But I'll go back.  And all that air time will be a small price to pay.

Long before I knew I was going to Zambia, I felt God press this on my heart.  It took me a little while to follow through and agree.  But almost immediately I felt peace, and some freedom.

Now as I enter a new year,  my heart has confidence, and I'm so glad I followed through.  Like the photograph above, I'm starting to see some fruit.

God was preparing room for Zambia.

The longer I had my business, the more I knew what I really cared about.  I loved giving families a good experience, keeping memories for them, but typical portrait photography did not get my fire going- though the experience and income were very valuable.  The more I was in it, the more photographer friends I had, I knew I was going in another direction.  I'd see their passion for Photoshop tricks and perfect lighting and making things look beyond normal to something perfected- and this is great photography (and when you need it, Photoshop is a jewel), and it's something people very much want.  But I marveled at their joy in it- because that's not at all what I wanted to do with my cameras and glass. 

I never could be where I am without my experience in a traditional portraiture business- I prize that intense time of learning from mistakes and successes very much. 

But it was more of a doorway than a calling.

I get all lit up over straight out of camera photojournalism- raw, true, gritty, honest, authentic, available and natural light only.  Everything you see is real.  Nothing manufactured- the world and it's people as they are.  I get lost in National Geographic.  I care very much about creating photographs that matter.  That tell a story.  That tell it honestly.

I get very passionate about sharing any knowledge I have with others who want to learn.  My passion isn't so much to take photographs for other people to enjoy, but to teach and empower them to do it for themselves-  teaching them to see the world creatively and to have the skills to capture that vision with a camera.  This is what makes me tick.  Sharing it is what makes my heart beat faster.

Zambia was a collision of it all.  My heart was cut and my creative joy was let loose. 

This experience with Poetice combines a passion for sharing the full life of Christ, a passion for speaking into the lives of the fatherless and the widow and empowering their own voices, and a passion for lighting a fire of creativity that provides light and life in the darkest of places.

In Zambia, everything was new- but I felt very much at home there.  And over and over again I saw that it's a place Jim is uniquely gifted for as well- I fell in love with the people of Zambia- and I know when Jim goes, he will too.

Because this wasn't a once in a lifetime experience.  It was a beginning. 

This first experience cut me in half.  And now, all I see is all the work yet to be done. I am not riding a post-trip romantic high.  I'm living in reality.  But I'm awake to a greater vision and humbly, I think I'm a part of it.

I can do a lot of work from here, helping to create and implement a photography program for youth in Zambia- even sending and teaching lessons thanks to technology.  And I hope very much to return to teach hands-on much, much more than I was able on this short trip.  As I walked through the places these youth call home, I was overcome by the beauty everywhere.  I have a huge fire in my heart to empower students there to see the world as art- to harness the power of light and shadow, to see with perspective, scale, color, senses, and emotion- and to capture it in photographs that communicate truth to the world.

My time in Zambia has altered me.  The people welcomed me in, and floored me with their love and compassion.  I'd love very much to join with them in the work God is doing. 

I saw the work of the thief everywhere in death and disease and brokenness-
 but always, always, always there was fruit and hope.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

-John 10:10

Team.

I tried to sort my thoughts tonight- it could take a month or more for me to blog through the highs and lows of this experience. 

But I'll start simple- one thing I'll have no trouble explaining is this team.  Wow.  Four of us came from Sioux Falls, and four from Michigan.  We all got connected with Poetice in our own ways, and came together Brady Bunch Style to form an incredible team. 

We are all unique individuals, very different- but we also had a ton in common and really, really enjoyed each other's company.  We experienced a series of constant extremes on this trip.  Extreme mountain tops, extreme valleys, bonding as we left our families and homes to serve together in a beautiful and heartbreaking place. 

I've never been more heartbroken than in this experience.

And we laughed hard every single day.

It was intense.  But we were a team from the beginning, and it seemed so unnatural to split in half when it was over.  We'll always have facebook, right?

Seriously.  I'd look around at my team and wonder how it was possible- every single person was really exceptional- gifted, fun, open, loving, and thrilled to be serving.  I was humbled to be a part of it.

.........

Micah. 

Founder of Poetice.  Micah's a bit of a rockstar.  He has a huge heart for Zambia, looks a little like Jesus, and sings like Phil Wickham.  Basically he's the Bono of MI, USA.  He's led many teams into Zambia, and doesn't seem to get tired of answering the same questions over and over.  I loved working with him.

Josh. 

He's a worship leader and a really, really cool guy.  I loved watching him work as he brought together a worship team from two different places- he knows what he's doing.  Just an awesome dude.  You can check out his church here- if you're in the Holland, MI area.



John.

 

Also from Michigan. John loves fish.  He lives and breathes fish.  I've never ever met anyone more passionate about fish.  He's a grad student studying fish, so he can spend the rest of his life teaching people about fish.  He's living his passions and man, it's awesome.  He's a bottomless source of information on all things random, like time travel, and parasites.  He loved to talk about parasites.  He also kept the team well rested with a steady supply of Melatonin supplements.  What an awesome guy- really- he was so much fun, and has a huge heart. 

Derek. 

Derek is the Project Manager for Poetice.  He is a rockstar administrator, and did an incredible job preparing and organizing our entire trip.  For those of you who don't know, I'm a bit of an organizer myself, so I was smitten with Derek's mad skills before I even met him.  He doesn't leave any details out.  He's also a really great guy. 

Derek works full time as the Director of Abstinence Education here .  So put Derek and Micah together, and you get a very strong team.  Derek is an amazing administrator, Micah is a strong visionary leader (not incredibly organized).  So united under one cause, they get an incredible amount of work done.  Also, because of Derek's professional knowledge and skill as a communicator and advocate for abstinence, purity, and prevention- he's very uniquely gifted to work with Poetice.  I loved watching him in action.

Brandon. 

Brandon is friends with lots of my friends.  But I didn't know him at all.  I had to go all the way to Africa to meet Brandon.  He's a kind, generous, thoughtful guy.  When we left Sioux Falls, we were strangers.  Now he's my brother.  He also has wicked percussion skills.  



Phil. 

P Dubs.  My neighbor, my pastor.  I thought Phil was my friend going into this.  Clearly, we'd only scratched the surface.  Now I absolutely call him a brother.  Phil is an extremely talented musician- and it is so cool to see him using his gifts for the Lord. When our passions collide with our mission and passion for God- it's a beautiful explosion.  I love seeing that in Phil.

Whitney. 

Whitney is beautiful in every way.  I needed to go all the way to Africa to get to know her too- even though we had many common good friends, we had never met until about a month before our trip.  She's got a beautiful heart and a beautiful voice.  I loved watching her in action.

Aaand, then there's me.  I have about three pictures of me from this trip.  My students took tons more, but those are on another hard drive right now.  I was there to document the trip- I'm still pulling everything together, sorting it all out.  I taught photography for just a bit-  and I have big hopes to return to teach much, much more.  More on that later.  Let's move on.

Seriously- this team was an honor.  And it was a riot.

This picture busts me up.  I have no idea what we were talking about here, but, from the looks of our faces, I'd bet money John was talking about parasites. 

I set up this shot and handed the camera to someone else- and something went wrong.  So- it's dark, but- here we are all together just before we left. 

 It was a humbling thing to be a part of something so awesome.

And now, I leave you with these....

Not Yet

Yesterday I put on my photographer's hat and culled my images from Zambia as fast as possible. 

Then after the kids were in bed, Jim and I talked and talked through the whole experience, and I let the photographs speak too.  That was when I really looked at them.

And this morning, I sat alone with them again.  Some of them encourage me.  Some just haunt me.

So many sweet people have encouraged me to share. 

I just can't yet.  The words aren't here.  But words are my way- so I know they will come. 

Until then, Sara Groves has the words I don't-

I saw what I saw and I can't forget it
I heard what I heard and I can't go back
I know what I know and I can't deny it
Something on the road, cut me to the soul

Your pain has changed me
Your dream inspires
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your courage asks me what I'm afraid of
and what I know of love

We've done what we've done and we can't erase it
We are what we are and it's more than enough
We have what we have but it's no substitution
Something on the road, cut me to the soul

I say what I say with no hesitation
I have what I have but I'm giving it up
I do what I do with deep conviction
Something on the road, cut me to the soul

Your courage asks me what I’m afraid of
Your courage asks me what I am made of
Your courage asks me what I’m afraid of
and what I know of love

and what I know of God

             I Saw What I Saw, Sara Groves

Culture Shocked.

I'm barely home.  The act of finding "normal" again will be a journey.  Piece by piece I'll process my experience in Zambia, and I have no idea how often or soon I'll do it, but I've promised myself to work it out here with words- the best way I know how.

After a sweet reunion with Jim and the kids, I fell asleep harder and faster than I've ever done in my life. And after five hours of rock hard sleep, I woke up terrified- I had no idea where I was.  After a moment, I adjusted, and relaxed- but the jolt of adrenaline did it's work and I can't get back to sleep.

There is a process to entering a completely new place- and once you've stayed a while, there is a process to returning. 

Right now I don't know how much I'll talk about Zambia in the next several days- though I've received several messages and emails from people excited to know all about it.  Day by day I'll get the words out- though right now it feels like everything I say falls short.

But here's what was on my mind as I tried (and failed) to fall back to sleep.


It was strange to come back to the thriving consumerism of American airports- loud TVs blasting mostly useless news, things to buy everywhere. 

And to the O'Hare airport- where you automatically get a new toilet seat cover with each use and you don't even have to touch anything, and a fine cup of Intelligentsia coffee is just around the corner.  I admit, I love both, but for whatever reason, that was the first moment of shock for me.  The jolt back to America.

My eager children were waiting at the door for me, and gave me the deepest, sincerest hugs I've ever experienced from any of them.  Even Hudson had an air of maturity- not so much a running and slamming into me like excited kids do- but more of a calm, deep, intentional embrace- it knocked my heart off it's feet.

I thought it might happen- and it did.  My extremely fair children look strange and new to me.  It was common for children to call out "Makua!" (ghost) when they saw us.  This makes absolute sense to me now.  We are really, really white. 

Also, many Zambians speak English in addition to native languages.  Their language skills astounded me-  I have so much to learn!  After a bit of assimilation to the accent it is very easy to understand almost anyone, and you're able to adjust your patterns of speech and phrasing to make your own words more clear to others.  But suprisingly, after tuning my ears to the people of Zambia, hearing my own kids speak sounds strange to me- they sound extremely clear and proper in their American English accents.  It threw me off.  Hudson has never sounded more articulate.  The best I can describe it would be the comparison of an American meeting a British person- I didn't expect it.  Moving on.

When I left in December, I felt the painful pull of home- of Jim and our children, as I crossed the Atlantic.  And as I made my eager return, I felt a new pain.  As I sat silently, suspended above the water, it was there sharp and deep- a pull from two places.

The people and place of Zambia have irrevocably altered me.  As if a deep part of me was removed and buried there under the red clay.

Leaving

The Word became flesh and blood,
and moved into the neighborhood.
We saw the glory with our own eyes,
the one-of-a-kind glory,
like Father, like Son,
Generous inside and out,
true from start to finish.
        John 1:14 MSG
 
At the moment of conception, Jesus Christ left the ultimate perfection of the Trinity, divine and uncontainable, to be contained- fully God, fully man in human form.  He left brilliant glory to be hungry, to be dirty, to be sick, to be lonely, to navigate every single experience common to humanity, and ultimately to lay himself down for us.
 
And so this Christmas, as I leave behind what is familiar for something completely new, and I leave the ones I love fiercely, I have that truth deep in my heart.  I'll leave on a jet plane and travel 10,000 miles away from here- and anything that is difficult about leaving my family is made softer when I experience it in light of all Christ did to come to us.

Malaria Monday

Last week I took my first Malaria pill- a series of 8 pills, one per week, to prevent contracting Malaria while I'm in Zambia- and it will last for six years.  I filled my prescription for just $16.

I knew it would be a challenge to remember to take it every week when I'm travelling, so I decided to take it on Mondays.  And call it Malaria Mondays.  See? I'm clever with mnemonic devices. 

I've read a lot of missionary biographies from the 19th and early 20th centuries.  I know I do not want Malaria.  But honestly, until this year I didn't think about Malaria's modern presence at all.

I'm leaving on Saturday- I thought I'd take this last Malaria Monday before my absence to share this clip from the documentary When the Night Comes.

Take a trip to Zambia with YouTube. It's cheaper.

It's been really fun to get introduced to Zambia via.... YouTube videos.  And it's especially great for showing my kids where I'll be. 

I'm not affiliated with this ministry, but this is a story about a boy in Macha, the place we'll be staying.



And here's a fun one displaying several of the myriad ways Zambian women use and wear chitenges-  I admit, I'm pretty excited about these.  My girls thought this was awesome.

This post is random but it has numbered points.

1.  I charged 8 cameras for Zambia this morning.

2. No, we did not have school today- my girls read books and did puzzles all morning while Hudson played with his tractors, and I made a final packing and shopping list for Africa- I'm leaving on Christmas Day.

3.  I just took this picture in my kitchen with one of the awesome point and shoots I'm taking with me.  They are working great!  Super quick, easy to use, and not many extra bells and whistles that would inevitably confuse the kids I'll be teaching.  I cannot wait to get there!  Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who's praying and giving for these children!

4.  Yes, I am still wearing pajamas and haven't gotten ready for the day.  At all.  But I've gotten so much done.  I don't have to go anywhere today, so progressing beyond this point probably isn't going to happen. 

5. Do you see how the wide angle of the lens, combined with how close it was to my face makes my nose look bigger and in general the proportions are off?  Or, btw, how about those catch lights?  See those?  See?  That's not photoshop,that's just light- any Point and Shoot will capture them if you've got good light.  Just wanted to point that out- people ask about that all the time- and lots of folks buy DSLRs for "the eyes" alone.

Aaaand, that's all.

Update. Again.

Thanks so much to everyone who's partnering in this with us- I can't wait to finally get to Zambia, to get a whole week with these kids, and to share it all with you. 

I've got an update!  As of right now, I have 8 out of 10 cameras, and my final stretch fundraising goal is closing in.

With your generosity to date, I was able to get a smokin' deal on FIVE of these awesome Nikons today.  And as a bonus to that price, each one comes with a FREE 4 GB SD card-  was that perfect or what??  I'd love to grab 2 more very soon, assuming the sale will last a few days more. 

SO-  I still need about $400 more for 2 more cameras, and other related purchases- like power strips, camera bags, etc.  We want to set them up right, amen?

Do you want to help?  See this post with all the info you need for giving.  At this point, with time so short, dollars toward purchases are best.  Email me with any questions.

I'm very grateful tonight for a chance to give to these children, and for the chance to partner in it with so many others.  Thanks!

Update.

Read this recent post to get caught up.

To update everyone- thanks so much for everyone who's offered to pray for our trip and these children we'll be with in less than 2 weeks- it's incredibly important, and encouraging, to hear from you.  If you want to be placed on our official prayer list (and receive updates as we go) email me at megankoch@yahoo.com .  I'd love to add you to that list.

I've gotten tons of memory cards- THANK YOU!  That is awesome!  It really is a huge relief to know I'll have plenty of storage so I can keep all of my files in 2 places at once.  I do still need at least $550 to be fully funded for this photography project- to bless the ministry in Zambia with all the equipment they'll need to offer photography as a creative outlet and a possible source of income to orphans and at-risk youth for years to come- with as little expense to them as possible.  I want to stress again, this is not for me- it's for cameras and equipment.

You know how much I care about this- and I know it's not up to all of us to give.  God is fully able to do whatever He likes without our help- but amazingly, He lets us be a part of it.  So if you are someone who wants to get directly involved with this ministry in Africa, or if you're someone who's been feeling a nudge, but doesn't know exactly what to do- I'd say go for it. If it's the right time for you to give to this project, see here for how to do so. 

I was telling someone last night that I'm not surprised I haven't met my goal yet, because it's not the last minute- and God always does things at the last minute-  so I'm confident.  Because the last minute has always been right on time.

6 More.

I'm leaving for Zambia on the 26th.

After a team meeting tonight, I know very clearly what I still need.

Lots of things are going to happen at camp.  But for my part- a group of 10-15 students will be selected (out of a group of 500) to take a 5 day photography course with me.  Basically, I'll be with them all day.  We'll divide our time between learning lessons, working hands-on, enjoying some free time- and going out to put our skills to practice together. 

Every camera is property of the mission, stays in the possession of the mission, and is given to these children to use with great care- and supervision- this keeps the cameras, and the children safe.

In America, "everyone" has a camera.  In Zambia, "no one" has a camera.  This will blow these kids' minds- and I can't wait to finally get to them.

They will learn and discover- gain technical and creative skills, have the exhilarating joy of finding and creating photographs- and they'll be loved and empowered. 

Their photographs will be saved and organized as much as possible (by me).  We'll show them off at camp, and I'll bring them home.  We will share and print them, perhaps even raise funds via their sale to directly fund back into this ministry.  The students can also earn income by photographing weddings, funerals, and events as well.  They don't need to be experts- any pictures are valuable to the people of Zambia.

Because in America, "everyone" has a camera.  In Zambia, "no one" does.

I have 4 cameras.  I need at least 6 more (like this one).  And each with a 4 GB memory card.  I also need 2 additional 4 GB SD cards.

We leave in a few weeks- time is short.  Time for shipping and receiving, especially around the holiday is short.

I've learned over and over that when we're waiting on God, it helps to get down and real and make a specific list. 

I'm making my list public and throwing a pass to you- maybe this is for you right now.  Either way, before hundreds of people...

1.  I need as many people to become prayerfully involved as possible.  If you would like to be placed on our email prayer list, you'll receive updates before, during, and after this trip, keeping you informed, and giving you specific prayer needs.

If you would like to be placed on this list, email me at megankoch@yahoo.com . 

2. I need $900 by December 20th, or six more cameras with memory cards (see camera details here)  if I'm going to be able to purchase, order and receive the cameras and equipment I'll need to properly equip this ministry to offer photography to these students for many camps to come, and possibly open doors for some to earn income with the ministry's help.

Cameras or checks may be dropped off or sent to:

The Ransom Church
5209 W 41st St. Suite 101
Sioux Falls, SD 57106

If you'd like to make a donation toward the purchase of cameras for this camp (this is the ideal option right now since time is so short), send your tax deductible donation to The Ransom Church, with Cameras for Zambia written in the Memo line.  Send them to the above address or hand it to me.
For those who have asked, if you would like to shoulder some of the burden of my own personal trip costs, send your tax deductible donation to The Ransom Church, with Megan Koch Zambia in the Memo line.  These checks may be sent to The Ransom at the above address.

I have some awesome information about Zambia and this camp I'd love to share with you.  Just send me your email address and I'll pass it on.

Advent

We're counting down days door by door,

sweetness behind each one. 

And as we wait and prepare for Christmas, Africa is there. 

I leave on the 26th and, while I have a whole range of emotions, and the pile of things to prepare before I leave- like, "Wait- I need to show Jim how to pay the bills!" -is building, my heart is also building.

I don't know the stories I'll have when I get back, but for now knowing I should be there is more than enough.

And it's strange, this trip- it's a bit like asking someone to please break my heart.  That's what I've prayed and asked for countless times over the past year.  For a long time, I kept my heart at a distance when it came to children without parents.  It's just one of the things I can. not. take.  The problem feels too large, I feel too insignificant, I don't know how to process it.  I knew God wanted me to embrace it, but, I made choices to keep at a distance, to guard my heart.  I'd go to a certain point, and then I'd say, "Not any closer"- and I'd take a step back.

About a year ago, I made a choice to stop closing myself off when a book, article, or photograph seemed like it was too much.  When I felt the urge to turn away, I'd stay and let it seep in.  I'd keep my heart open and raw to it.  It was not easy.  And it only made everything seem even larger, and myself even smaller.  But I finally decided to agree with God that turning away is the last thing I should do.

And now I'm waiting for Zambia.  I'm preparing to get broken. 

And I'm trusting that the will to keep my heart wide open is going to be there waiting for me.

Transparency

When I decided to go to Africa about a month ago, and I started telling people, it was slow coming out of my mouth.  I felt a bit like Frank and April in Revolutionary Road, announcing they're moving to Paris- a big, huge, liberating idea that never comes to fruition.  Or, like Bernice, talking and talking about bobbing her hair but never thinking it would actually happen- and when she's forced into it, it's horrible.

I knew from the beginning that I really would go, and I've never just thought it was a good conversation starter to make me seem interesting, but, I still felt like an April or a Bernice just the same. 

You all think in book characters too, right?  Anyone?  Anyone?  And moving on-

I really am going.

This really is an incredible intersection of the things I'm passionate about, the things I'm equipped to do, and the things I need to grow in.  This sounds exactly like the kind of thing we should throw ourselves into.

I was thinking this morning- of all the things people have asked me about, there are really only two main things that cause me a bit of pain in going.  Don't judge.  They'll sound more and more stupid the minute I type them, and the moment you read them. 

1.  Air Travel.

Anne Lamott says it for me,

"My idea of everything going smoothly on an airplane is (a) that I not die in a slow-motion fiery crash or get stabbed to death by terrorists and (b) that none of the other passengers try to talk to me.  All conversation should end at the moment the wheels leave the ground."

And Amen.


2. My Sweet Baby 85.







I've been expecting her for 6 months, waiting, and waiting.  I think about her every day.  Sometimes I click this link and just look at her.

She has to wait.  Africa comes with a price tag.  And, to quote my very kind, logical, and supportive husband, "I don't think that would be a wise purchase right now."

Sigh.

I'm going to be transparent.  I cried a little about it this morning.



But I'm going to be strong, and take heart, and focus on everything else there is to gain- which eclipses these things in a heartbeat.

Opportunity in Red.

Just wanted to pass on a great opportunity from Target.com.  These sturdy, quick little basic Nikons are on sale online only- a $139.99 camera for $79, with free shipping.  That means, if you want to be a part of the Cameras for Zambia project, but you don't have a camera to spare, this is an awesome option- and this model is ideal for the kids at camp. 

Also, you can have the camera directly shipped to The Ransom Church, where we're collecting them in preparation for camp in December.  No notes or phone calls required- if a camera shows up in the mail, my friend Lissa the Office Manager will know exactly what to do with it.  If you'd like to include an SD card with the camera, that would be amazing- and if you don't, we'll make sure each camera gets a card before we leave.

If you'd like to ship a camera directly to The Ransom, send it to

The Ransom Church
5209 W 41st St. Suite 101
Sioux Falls, SD 57106
How easy is that???  You don't even have to pack it up and and ship it yourself- it doesn't get easier, right?

Once these cameras get to camp, they'll be used over and over and over again for a long time- and I know it's going to be a huge blessing to these kids- what a fun opportunity to photograph their world and be free and creative- and to know people thousands of miles away sent them because they care.

If you're looking for a way to give with Christmas approaching, this is an awesome opportunity- you can involve your spouse, your kids, your friends and send a camera- then watch the blog- because in January you'll see hundreds of pictures of the actual, real, incredible children who used them- and you'll see some of the shots they took themselves. 

What an awesome way to make Africa tangible- especially for your children.

Jambo Means Hello in Swahili. A Guy at Disney Animal Kingdom Taught Me That.

In light of my commitment to document every phase of my Africa experience on the blog, I've got to share the low down on all my vaccines, right?

I got vaccinated last week. 

Like a baby.  Or a puppy.  Except, there weren't extra nurses there to do it all at once and get it over with- I gritted my teeth, repeated to myself over and over that this was all in the mind and the real pain was the anticipation, not the brief-sting of the needle, and darn it, no pain from a shot is comparable to natural childbirth, which I did with gusto, and I am doing this for all those kids I can't wait to hug and play and live with, and just SHUT UP MEGAN and get the thing done- so I did.

Hep A, Hep B, Typhoid, DPT, Flu Mist, and an Rx for Malaria Pills, which I hear are a thrill ride to take.  Count it up, that's four shots for Mama Bear.  Didn't cry once.


And while I'm thinking about Africa, I thought I'd do a little exercise.  What do you think about when you think about Africa?  Off the top of my head, I'm going to list the first ten things to hit my mind-

Aids
Mufasa
The Last King of Scotland
Rwanda
Bono
Orphans
Dirty Water
Côte d'Ivoire
Slavery
Trafficking
Wilberforce
Livingstone

Hold up, that's more than 10.  Work with it.

So far, my knowledge comes second hand, from books, movies, other people's stories (and that safari I took at Animal Kingdom).  When I get back, I'll have real faces with names, smells, experiences, sensory-filled memories, and a first-hand account of my own. 

Needy.

Africa is at the front of my mind much of the day now.  It's also present in many of my conversations.  People think you're really interesting if you're going to Africa, so, I'm getting asked about it all the time. 

I sincerely hope, though, that all these conversations don't just end with all my friends and acquaintances and the sweet strangers I'm meeting as I prepare to leave thinking I'm participating in the global-travel-version of bungee jumping, but instead, I hope that Africa gets under their skin and starts to fill them with discomfort, and compassion that compels them too.  I've only experienced the tip of the compassion ice berg, I know.  But if my going is a catalyst for many more people to become aware, to the point that they can't ignore the global issues of sickness, poverty, trafficking, and slavery, then my small trip to Africa is accomplishing some of it's purpose.

And a lot of people are, in essence, letting me know what a good person I am.  Which bothers me immensely.  The more I care about the problems and people I almost never naturally encounter in my "good" life, the more I know I have not been good.  I have ignored and shoved away, I've kept great storehouses for my own family and let others starve.  I don't have clean answers, but I know I don't want to ignore this anymore.  One opportunity at a time I will stop living as if I can stay comfortable with a clean and clear heart while people starve in every way a human can.  I'm not a good person.  I'm just me.  And I trust a God who has good plans for restoration and life. 

Also, people keep asking me if I'll bring a baby back with me.  This is a big one.  People who know us know we are quite prepared to adopt.  We feel it's still at least 2 years away, and are waiting on that.  If God dropped an opportunity on our door step, we would scoop it up in a heart beat.  But we continue to pray and let our hearts get intertwined with orphans around the world as we read the blogs of those who care for them daily, as we learn their names and give towards their needs, and now, as I travel to Zambia.

This may or may not offend some of you, but at the tip of my words, sometimes, when I'm talking about Africa and the question of adoption comes up, I just want to say,  adoption isn't the answer.  Not ultimately.  The answer to the epic problem of poverty, brokenness and sickness in Africa is not that wealthy Westerners should come and adopt as many of these orphans as they can and bring them back to a safe, beautiful, "normal" home in America.

The answer needs to come in the form of healing and freedom from the very heart of Africa itself (or any other place in the world that is broken- and that includes the US). 

Believe me, my mother-heart would give as many orphans a home as we could possibly fit- but ultimately, it's not my job to "rescue" children and bring them to a "better" life.

My God-given role is to not ignore suffering, to take my individual responsibility, which is unique to me, and to our family, and to do what I can as God wills to make moves toward wholeness and healing for the broken.

We should do what we can to give Africa a hand up, not a hand out.  We should work justice out one act at a time, empowering individuals to move forward, to see a bigger vision than the one life had previously laid out before them.

I should not assume my job is to sweep in and rescue, and give answers. 

In many, many ways, giving my heart over to know and care about orphans has rescued me, and opened me up to wisdom and clarity I was only ready for once I'd surrendered my own ideas and answers to God, and just let him break me up in the clarity and humanity of seeing another beautiful life in want and need of all the basic things I absolutely take for granted, and have a responsibility to distribute fairly.  I have too much, they have too little- but in other ways they have so much, and I have so little.  I can't give without getting.  I'm not a savior.  I feel quite needy myself.

So I'm not going to Africa to bring answers and hand outs.  I'm going because this is my time to go.  I assume God has a role for me there.  I assume much of that has to do with changing my own heart, and the effects of that may benefit the world in some way.  I have no idea, but, I'm going.

And I am going to give children an experience.  For the short time I'm there, I hope they have an incredible time.  I hope they know down deep that people that live a million miles away love them, care about them, and want to invest in them, because we believe they have mighty hearts, clear voices and strong minds that will change the world.  I want them to be empowered, to have a great awareness of who they are and what they were created for.  I hope they have fun, and discover ways to create and see the world that impact them for life.

Blessed.

I found this earlier this week, here.

May God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.


May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people.


May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really CAN make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God's grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.

And the blessing of God the Supreme Majesty and our Creator,
Jesus Christ the Incarnate Word who is our brother and Saviour,
and the Holy Spirit, our Advocate and Guide,
be with you and remain with you, this day and forevermore.

AMEN

Cameras for Zambia

I'm going to Zambia in December.  I'm going to be meeting, hanging out with, and teaching tons of kids-  over 500 are already registered for the camp where I'll be working.  When I heard about this, I instantly thought, "If they need a photographer, I am there."  In that moment, the movie Born Into Brothels flashed through my mind, and I knew, if they needed me, I needed to go.  There was no long discerning process, just Jim and I knowing if the doors kept opening I would stay available and go.  So far, every door has opened wide.  And I'm thrilled to finally have my feet on African soil-  I've thought, prayed, and cried for these very children for years, and until now, going has always been on my heart- but not in my plans.  And now I'm part of a project focused on giving love, education, and hope, while introducing children to the Arts- and leaving them with the tools to grow.  I'm humbled, encouraged, and affirmed to go- and tears are streaming down my face as I type, I am so excited to love these children, and share the journey with you.

I'll be teaching photography, and we would love to bring and leave behind as many quality digital cameras as possible for the camp to use in the future.  We're also collecting musical instruments, but that's not my bag- You can Click Here for more info.

Watch this...



Would you help us do that?

You have an incredible opportunity to get directly connected to orphans in Africa- a continent broken down by AIDS, trafficking, poverty and slavery.  When you contribute to this project, you'll see photographs and stories directly from our experience- and see these children up close, with faces and names.  You'll see your gifts blessing them from thousands of miles away.  As you pray, give, and donate to this project, the distance closes in.  When I return, I'll do all I can to share the country, the children, and the camp with you, so it can be as real and tangible as possible.  This is an awesome opportunity for you to team up with your friends, your church, and your family to directly bless these children, and see exactly where your gifts have gone, and what they've done.

Here are some ways you can get involved: 

1. Get educated about Zambia, tell others, and pray.

2. Give a camera or an instrument.  Giving a child an opportunity to see and document their world through a lens, and discover photographic creativity, can change a life forever.  We are accepting gently used or new digital cameras.  They must be in excellent working order, with a rechargeable battery pack (with charger included) and a memory card no smaller than 2 GB.  A carrying case is preferred, but not required. 

Your camera may be dropped off or sent to:

The Ransom Church
5209 W 41st St. Suite 101
Sioux Falls, SD 57106

 3. Donate.

If you'd like to donate toward the purchase of cameras for the camp, send your tax deductible donation to The Ransom Church, with Cameras for Zambia written in the Memo line. 

For those who have asked, if you would like to shoulder some of the burden of my own personal trip costs, send your tax deductible donation to The Ransom Church, with Megan Koch Zambia in the Memo line.

Checks may be sent to The Ransom at the above address.


Are you a photographer?  I'll be packing very light for this trip, and will not have access to online or hard drive storage of the thousands of files I will collect.  If you have surplus Compact Flash cards I could borrow for this trip, that would rock my world.  If you have extra cards to spare at the end of December, email me. They will of course be returned, at my expense, safe and sound.

All donations must be received by November 30.

Of course, if you have any questions shoot me an email.  I am so thrilled to have this opportunity, and it would be an honor to partner in it with you.

Feel free to right click and save the image above to display on your own blog or facebook page, along with a link to this post.  Pass it on.

Let's bring some love to Africa, Amen?