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Judith Barrow

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The Memory Kindle Edition

by Judith Barrow (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

4.4 26 ratings

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Mother and daughter tied together by shame and secrecy, love and hate.I wait by the bed. I move into her line of vision and it's as though we're watching one another, my mother and me; two women – trapped. Today has been a long time coming. Irene sits at her mother's side waiting for the right moment, for the point at which she will know she is doing the right thing by Rose.Rose was Irene's little sister, an unwanted embarrassment to their mother Lilian but a treasure to Irene. Rose died thirty years ago, when she was eight, and nobody has talked about the circumstances of her death since. But Irene knows what she saw. Over the course of 24 hours their moving and tragic story is revealed – a story of love and duty, betrayal and loss – as Irene rediscovers the past and finds hope for the future. "...A book that is both powerful and moving, exquisitely penetrating. I am drawn in, empathising so intensely with Irene that I feel every twinge of her frustration, resentment, utter weariness and abiding love." Thorne Moore "Judith Barrow's greatest strength is her understanding of her characters and the times in which they live; The Memory is a poignant tale of love and hate in which you will feel every emotion experienced by Irene." Terry Tyler The new novel from the bestselling author of the Howarth family saga

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B085GBFRD4
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Honno Press (19 March 2020)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 1754 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 409 pages

Best Sellers Rank: 1,215,164 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- 25,989 in Family Life Fiction (Books)
- 1,109,964 in Kindle eBooks

Customer Reviews:
4.4 26 ratings

About the author

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Judith Barrow

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Judith Barrow,originally from Saddleworth, a group of villages on the edge of the Pennines, has lived in Pembrokeshire, Wales, for over forty years.

She has an MA in Creative Writing with the University of Wales Trinity St David's College, Carmarthen. BA (Hons) in Literature with the Open University, a Diploma in Drama from Swansea University. She is a Creative Writing tutor and holds workshops on all genres.

She says:-

Like most writers I’m a people watcher. Not in a creepy way… well, I don’t think so! But in that way of, “hmm, they could make a wonderful character!” and, “I wonder why they did that? Said that? What’s going on?” kind of way. People are fascinating. As human beings we do and say the most extraordinary things – however mundane we think we are, however boring we believe our lives to be. But it’s the layers of the experiences we’ve all built up from childhood to adulthood that makes each of us interesting. And the way we react to others is fascinating. Not least in the relationships within families. Because where else, in what circumstances, is there such a capacity for secrecy, for deception, for lies, for love, for empathy, for forgiveness? For misunderstandings and misreading of siblings, of parents. It’s intriguing. And no two families are alike – so the scope for creativity is endless. And I love exploring all these aspects.

My last book, Sisters, was published by Honno in January 2023. Two sisters hold a secret that changes both their lives forever. They are torn apart by a terrible lie. In shock after an unbearable accident. Angie lets her sister Mandy take the blame, thinking she's too young to get into trouble. But she's wrong. Mandy is hounded, bullied and finally sent to live with their aunt, where she changes her name to Lisa and builds a new life, never wanting to see her sister again. Angie's guilt sends her spiralling into danger. Thirteen years later, they meet again at their mother's funeral. Lisa starts to suspect something is wrong. Angie seems terrified of her husband, and their father is hiding something too. What does Lisa owe to the family that betrayed her?

The Heart Stone,was published by Honno in February 2021. Set in Lancashire, the story begins as the First World War is declared. The protagonist, Jessie, has realised that her feelings for her friend, Arthur are far more than friendship. Arthur lies about his age to join his local Pals’ Regiment. Jessie’s widowed mother is so frightened, she agrees to marry Amos Morgan, not knowing what a violent and spiteful man he is. When he turns on Jessie, Arthur’s mother is the only person to help her and the two women are drawn together. But Jessie faces a desperate future and must choose between love and safety.

My previous book, The Memory, was published by Honno in March 2020 and is a stand alone book about a woman, Irene Hargreaves, who is the career for her mother. One a dark evening in 2001 Irene stands by the side of her mother's bed and knows it is time. For more than fifty years she has carried a secret around with her; a haunting memory she hasn't even confided to her husband, Sam, a man she has loved and trusted all her life. But now she must act before he arrives home...

Irene and her mother, Lil, are bound to each other by the ghost of Irene's sister, Rose. A little girl with dark hair, a snub nose and an extra chromosome. A genetic hiccup that shaped all their lives. Irene and Sam care for Lil now that dementia has claimed all but her failing body. Irene is at the end of her tether, but if she consigns her mother to a residential home, she and Sam will lose theirs. Irene blames her mother for Rose's death, and will never forgive her.

The Memory was shortlisted for The Wales Book of the Year 2021 The Rhys Davies Trust Fiction Award.

The Howarth Family Saga Series

The prequel to the Haworth trilogy, A Hundred Tiny Threads, was published by Honno in 2017and is the story of Mary Howarth's mother,Winifred, and father,Bill. Set between 1910 & 1924 it is a the time of the Suffragettes, WW1 and of the Black and Tans sent to Ireland to cover the rebellion and fight for freedom from the UK. And of the influenza pandemic. It is inevitable that what forms the lives, personalities and characters of Winifred and Bill eventually affects the lives of their children, Tom,Mary, Patrick and Ellen.

The Haworth trilogy begins.

Pattern of Shadows was published by Honno in May 2010. Set in Lancashire during the Second World War, the protagonist, Mary Haworth, works as a nurse at Lancashire prison camp for German POWs and is the main breadwinner for her fractious family. Fraternisation is not allowed, but Mary becomes friendly with Peter Schormann, a POW and a doctor who is seconded to the hospital. But there is ever-present danger in the figure of Frank Shuttleworth, a guard at the camp and persistent admirer of Mary.

The sequel to Pattern of Shadows, Changing Patterns, published by Honno in 2013, is set in 1950/51.The war is over, but for Mary the danger isn't. Mary is living in mid Wales with Peter and working as a nurse, though she knows her job is in danger if the hospital finds out about him. When her brother Tom is killed, Mary is devastated, especially as nobody will believe that it wasn't an accident. Her best friend Jean is doing her best to get Mary to leave Peter and come back to Lancashire. Mary is sure this will never happen, but she has no idea of the secret Peter is keeping from her.

The last of the trilogy, Living in the Shadows, published by Honno in 2015, is set in 1969 and is the story of the next generation of the Howarth and Schormann families. It is a time of Mods and Rockers, the Beatles, flower-power and free love. But for Linda Howarth, Ellen and Ted's daughter, and Richard Schormann, Mary and Peter's son, the shadows from the past return to haunt them.

The eBook, Silent Trauma, published in 2012, is the result of years of research, and the need to tell the story in a way that readers will engage with the truth behind the drug Stilboestrol. So I had the idea of intertwining this main theme around and through the lives of four fictional characters, four women, all affected throughout their lives by the damage the drug has done to them. Their stories underpin all the harm the drug has done to so many women all over the world. The story is fictional, the facts are real.

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Elizabeth Gauffreau

A Thought-provoking Read!

Reviewed in the United States on 17 October 2023

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Judith Barrow’s The Memory is a character-driven novel that explores how love, compassion, guilt, disappointment, and resentment shape the lives of three generations in one family: a grandmother (referred to as Nanna), her daughter Lilian, and Lilian’s daughters Irene and Rose.

The novel is narrated by Irene in dual timelines. The first is one twenty-four-hour period in present time of 2002 as a middle-aged Irene struggles to care for her bedridden and incontinent mother with dementia. The second timeline traces Irene’s relationships with the women in her family, her father, and her husband, from 1972-2000.

The narrative device of two parallel timelines works well to establish and maintain story tension as Irene becomes more and more exhausted over the course of those twenty-four hours in 2002. The syntax in those sections becomes fragmented and barely coherent as the day wears on, making for compelling reading. Barrow doesn’t spare the details of caring for a person with urinary and fecal incontinence, and I could feel Irene’s stress and exhaustion in her care-giving role.

Barrow also made a good choice to tell the 2002 timeline in present tense and the earlier timeline in past tense. Present tense intensifies the sense of immediacy and urgency for Irene to escape the trap she’s in, while past tense helps keep the reader grounded in place and time.

The sections for each timeline are fairly short, to keep their interrelatedness foremost in the reader’s mind, while raising new questions about that interrelatedness, as well as the reliability of Irene’s memory.

Each past section reveals more about Lilian’s character before she became ill, beginning with her rejection of Rose, who was born with Down Syndrome. I’ll admit to being shocked at Lilian’s immediate rejection of newborn Rose. That said, it’s important to keep in mind that Rose was born in 1963, when attitudes toward people with developmental disabilities were just beginning to change.

The character of Rose is portrayed with great sensitivity–she is a sweet and loving little girl–without shying away from the challenges that a developmentally disabled child can present to her care-givers. Irene meets these challenges admirably. The fact that young Irene is able to help Rose develop and thrive to the best of Rose’s limited abilities is remarkable to watch.

We know from the book description that Rose dies at some point, but we don’t know the cause or circumstances of her death, which further contributes to the narrative tension. When the apparent cause and manner of Rose’s death are revealed about a third of the way through the book, Irene’s responsibility of care-giving for Lilian becomes even more fraught with conflicting emotions. Lilian is a flawed human being who is hard to love, but Irene does remember periods of love and enjoyment with her mother, which further complicates their current relationship.

Irene is a sympathetic character in both timelines, as she possesses a loving and accepting nature. However, she becomes less sympathetic as the book progresses because she appears willing to sacrifice her loving and supportive husband to the memory of her long-dead sister and her belief that Rose’s spirit still lives in the family home.

I found The Memory a thought-provoking read that has stayed with me since finishing the book. Irene’s adult life has been a series of raised hopes, followed by crushing disappointments, some of which she may have brought on herself. Ultimately, The Memory raises the question of how far we should go to sacrifice ourselves–our hopes, goals, and personal well-being for a loved one–and do we sacrifice the happiness and well-being of one family member for another?

DGKaye

Mothers and Daughters

Reviewed in Canada on 20 June 2020

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Barrow paints a complex emotional story written in first person where Irene tells her story in two time-frames. One is in present 2002, depicted in a 24 hour time-frame, and the past in flashbacks about what transpired in her life and lead to that one day.

Three women under one roof – Irene, her mother Lilian, and her Nanna, and Sam, Irene’s ever faithful and compassionate boyfriend, are the central characters, as well as little sister Rose, born with Down Syndrome, who dies at the age of 8 years old, and the secrets about her death that keep Irene connected to the house they grew up in together. The burning secret Irene carries will take a monumental twist near the end of this book. Rose is an embarrassment to her rotten mother Lilian, and Irene and Nanna are the ones who look after Rose.

Rose’s death creates a bigger distance between Irene and Lilian, spurring Irene’s anticipation to finally move away from home and finish her schooling for her dream to become a teacher. Only, there are obstacles at every milestone for Irene from her demanding, needy and lacking of compassion mother.

Lilian is a complicated, moody, miserable bitch, whose husband has left her, leaving Irene to put up with Lilian’s antics on a daily basis – seemingly no matter how far Irene flees does not stop Lilian and her demands. Thank goodness for Sam. Sam knows Lilian well and knows how she gets under Irene’s skin and staunchly supports Irene’s decisions, despite them often leaving Sam in second place to Irene’s worries concerning her mother and the indelible bond that remains between Rose and Irene even after her death.

Irene is the designated carer for everyone in this book – first Rose, then her Nanna, then Sam’s sick father, then her sick father, then her sick (in more ways than one, mother) – a modern day Florence Nightingale.

Sam is the ideal boyfriend and then husband who adores Irene. He’s been through a lot with Irene and her family woes, causing delays for them to make a life together. When they finally do make their life complete, once again ‘mother’ calls in her neediness. The mother who never had the time of day for Irene makes her a lucrative offer, which once again turns into a bad deal and should have had Irene running like a dog on fire. But instead, she flees back to her mother leaving Sam disappointed and dumbfounded.

The twist at the end focuses on the painful secret Irene has carried with her since Rose’s death. A lot of drama ensues between Irene and her terrible, ungrateful, undeserving mother as Irene once again sacrifices her happiness with Sam in order to pacify her mother. Irene is a great character of strength who takes on all the family problems in her selfless good and compassionate nature, even risking losing the love of her life, but does she? You’ll have to read to find out!

Barb Taub

A beautifully written, character-driven story with a dark base but superb resolution

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 October 2020

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“What gets us into trouble is not what we don’t know. It’s what we know for sure that just ain’t so.”—attrib. Mark Twain

I have nine brothers and sisters who must have grown up in nine other families because our memories just don’t match up. Each of us sees our past through the filter of personal experience, making us the unreliable narrators of our own memories. Yet somehow, it’s those memories that shaped the people we are today.

In Judith Barrow’s The Memory, it’s the memory of one moment in time that shapes Irene’s family and defines her life. In a brilliant structure, readers are swept along dual timelines as we try to understand or even identify that moment. First we’re introduced to an adult Irene. It’s 2002 and she’s taking care of her dying mother. In the midst of her exhaustion and resentment, Irene wonders if her mother is also experiencing that pivotal memory, “The one that makes hate battle with pity and reluctant love.”

But it’s also 1963, the moment eight-year-old Irene’s happy childhood changes forever when her baby sister Rose is born with Down’s Syndrome. Even as her parents’ marriage crumbles, Irene’s world is transformed. “That was the first time I understood you could fall in love with a stranger, even though that stranger is a baby who can’t yet talk. And that you could hate somebody even though you were supposed to love them.”

As the two timelines converge, the impact of little Rose’s life and death continues to shape every aspect of big sister Irene’s life. With her parents’ relationship becoming increasingly dysfunctional, Irene tries to wrap a cocoon of fierce love and devotion around her beloved little sister. She realizes her life isn’t like other girls, but with her grandmother’s support, she struggles on. One of her earliest friends, Sam, becomes her rock and then her husband.

But despite Irene’s love for Rose, her grandmother, and Sam, she can’t prevent tragedy from striking. Her parents’ marriage ends, effectively separating Irene from her weak but loved father, while sending her mother into a downward spiral of resentment. Her only ally at home, her grandmother, becomes ill. Irene’s dreams of a teaching career and motherhood are sacrificed to the needs of her family.

With the death of Rose, Irene and her mother are trapped an endless cycle of love and resentment shaped by one memory. But it’s a child’s memory of an event, and even Irene isn’t sure exactly what it means. Unable to leave the childhood home that’s her only connection to Rose, she turns to the ghost of her little sister for answers.

The Memory is quite possibly Judith Barrow’s masterpiece. The dual timeline structure is ideally suited to bring us to that critical moment in the past. What exactly did Irene see? She’s an unreliable narrator, a child trying to understand a single memory that redefines her life in one timeline, while in the other timeline she’s a woman who has lost everything she ever loved except for the memory of the sister who haunts her.

The writing is spare and elegant, with just enough detail to create a picture of Irene’s world. Told in the first person, we see Irene as she grows from a bewildered child determined to care for her ‘special’ little sister to a woman who sacrifices her own hopes and dreams to care for her family. Those who’ve been caretakers to parents suffering from alzheimer’s and dementia will also recognize the sheer exhaustion and thankless effort demanded.

But the other thing I enjoyed in what could have been a desperately dark tale was that Irene knew love along the way. She remembered her childhood days with loving parents, she cherished the love of her grandmother, and she accepted the bedrock certainty of her husband Sam’s love. Most of all, she had the memory of loving little Rose.

As the two timelines converge, all of those loves combine in a single moment of realization that finally explains and then redeems the memory haunting Irene’s life. As a reader, when a character becomes as completely real to me as Irene does, I often find myself wondering what happened next for her. But Irene’s story is so perfectly and elegantly resolved that I know without a shade of doubt what her future holds.

The Memory is not a comfortable or easy read. But if you’re looking for a beautifully written, character-driven story with a dark base but superb resolution, it just might be the perfect choice.

2 people found this helpful

Georgia Rose

An excellent and thoughtfully written book I highly recommend

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 17 May 2020

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I have been a fan of Judith Barrow’s work for a long time so bought, The Memory, her new release the moment it was available. I also chose it as the book of the month for my reading group because it would ensure I read it in a timely fashion.

I have struggled to read much at this time and I was concerned how I’d manage with what I anticipated would be a difficult subject matter but I need not have worried. I found the way this was written, with short chapters broken up consistently into two time periods, was ideal. The length of chapter meant I wasn’t put off starting another one and in fact I found I read far more as I was keen to know what would come next in this compelling story.

The first part of each chapter was the story told over a day or so in 2002 and consisted of the intensely grim life that Irene was living with her mother. The second part started in 1963 and was the story of Irene’s life from when she was eight when Rose, her sister, arrived in it. Her love for Rose was absolute and moulded the rest of her life. This second storyline was also very much a love story as Irene meets a terribly patient Sam.

Barrow’s writing is, as always, superb. Her attention to detail transports you so far into the story you could be in the room with Irene and her mother, even if you’d rather not be present at times. Her characters are terrific and descriptions vivid.

This book was thoroughly discussed at my reading group (held via Zoom) and the views of all were broadly along the same lines although many wished Irene had not given up on so many of her own dreams because of the responsibility she felt towards others. But of course these were different times.

Highly recommended, this is an excellent, thoughtfully written read I’d recommend to all who enjoy realistic, well told tales of family life.

One person found this helpful

Terry Tyler

Familiary breeds contempt...

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 25 April 2020

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I liked the structure of this book a lot - it's written in the first person, and each chapter starts with a small section in the present day (2002), with Irene, the main character, taking care of her mother, who has dementia. Then it goes back in time, starting in 1963 when she was a child, and her sister, Rose, who has Down's Syndrome, is born. I really loved the first third, which detailed Irene's love for her sister (quite beautiful) and the difficulties within the family, with her cold, brusque mother, delightful father and the grandmother she adored. I was completely absorbed. The rest of the story pivots around a shocking event that takes place at around 40%.

The book slowed down for me a little during the middle section, which was about Irene's growing up and the early part of her marriage to Sam, and I found the family's lives rather depressing (which is a bit rich coming from someone who writes about dystopian horrors, but I find the end of the world as we know it less depressing than a humdrum life. I know, I'm weird). In the final third developments became much more interesting, and I was engrossed once more. I would have liked a little more in the way of plot, but that's just personal taste, not a criticism; this is a character rather than a plot-driven book.

The strongest aspect of the latter part of the book was the initial development of the mother's dementia; I have experience of this with my late mother, and, although the circumstances were very different, it certainly struck a chord, with one particular episode bringing tears to my eyes.

My favourite characters were Irene's father and her husband, Sam, who I thought got a bit of a raw deal and put up with too much (I do hope he had more fun than he admitted to Irene, during a time when circumstances forced them apart). I can't say I liked Irene, who put her own obsession with the past before his happiness, and whose outlook often seemed rather narrow (I kept wanting to tell her to lighten up, and do something a bit crazy!), but I appreciated how deeply and lastingly she was affected by the aforementioned shocking event, and she's a thoroughly three-dimensional character.

The other star of the book is the time and place—the working class northern England of the 1960s and 70s, which was as starkly and realistically portrayed as any TV kitchen sink drama.

The ending brings a most surprising twist directly related to the events of Irene's earlier years, which filled me with regret on her behalf. If you enjoy emotional family dramas that dig deep into the psyche, you will love this book, with its vivid descriptions of familial conflict, loss and the day to day difficulties of caring for a person with dementia.

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