Stroke My Giant Hairy Armpit / Massive, furry sweat glands, and the hot babes who want to have sex with them. Dry pits win!
I see it now. You know what Pitman looks like? A giant crotch. And every woman in every ad is somehow staring tickling ogling craving that big hairy penis-less crotch as if it contains all the secrets of the universe. Or maybe they're simply wondering, oh my freaking god, what the hell happened to my life and my pathetic modeling career that I'm in an ad with a giant hairy armpit that looks like a giant sexless crotch. I am so proud. Photo courtesy of theaxeeffect.com