| THANKS to all the Santas for a great 2007 Baltimore Santarchy! Links for PHOTOS from 2007 here: Lisa's Photo Bucket Santarchy pics Flickr Baltimore Santarchy Group Feel free to ad yours! Please scroll down for the RULES, and to download a song book! (gotta scroll ALL THE WAY DOWN) Questions? Email Santa: santarchybmore@yahoo.com BALTIMORE SUN ARTICLE ON SANTARCHY HERE! |
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| Elves Welcome! We are all inclusive: all ages, all genders, all religions, all races, all species. As long as you have a Santa-related costume on and a jolly but naughty spirit! Have comments? Sign the guestbook! Ho Ho Ho What is Santarchy? It's a world wide phenmenon! Get more info on the history and other locations here: http://www.santarchy.com |
| Tentative Approximate Schedule: *Remember to bring money, gifts, Your ID, song books, comfy shoes. 2:00 - 2:30 meeting spot is in front of the Baltimore Visitor Center 401 Light Street Baltimore, MD 21202 3:00 - Enjoy "Tuba Christmas" at the amphitheater and cheer on the tubas! 4:00 - Santas sing,gift, joke, and march around inner harbor 6:30 - Santas eat 7:30 - Santas hit the bars / Power Plant / Fells Point When does it end? When the last Santa collapses |
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CAMERAS - Bring 'em if ya got 'em! Santarchy provides lots of fun photo ops. Be aware that people will be taking pictures. Don't do anything you don't want caught on film.....but with that said, photographers, please be respectful when taking photos or video. Do not photograph or video people on the sly or in compromising positions - please only photograph the willing and aware. Also, a good photog Santa will share his/her photos/videos with other santas. Please email Baltimore Santa with your photos, links, etc to santarchybmore@yahoo.com so they can be posted here after the event. COSTUMES: Holiday apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. If you don't have any money, be creative. If you don't have any creativity, slap yourself three times and ask your mom to help you. Glue cotton balls to red long johns. Make it purple. Make it pink. Make it plaid. Already have a Santa suit? Bring spare parts for the Santafication of strangers. Past examples: Santa Claws, Santa Garcia, Santa's naughty little helper, misfit toy, elf, grinch, angel, Jesus, snowman, nutcracker, reindeer. Shit -- last year in DC, we had a chicken, a panda, a bunny, and a gay french monkey, so we're pretty flexible here. Party City has plenty of Santa attire as well as a gozillion online sources. SONG BOOKS: Print your damn songbook and bring it with you. Do not expect any Santa to bring extras. NICE Carols will be sung outside in the daylight hours, in front of children and granmas. NAUGHTY Carols can be sung at night as long as there are no kids around, at bars, etc. Song books will be posted here on the site for you to print at home the week of 12/10. BEHAVIOR: Twisting the holiday paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun! Getting arrested is not. Santa Claus is friendly, respectful, and cooperative with cops, security guards, park rangers, secret service agents, and store owners and doesn't break any laws!!! "Disorderly Conduct" is not a city in China. Have your own special twisted fun, but DON'T FUCK IT UP FOR THE REST OF US. Our santas do not destroy property, steal merchandise, or do harm to others. The authorities and local businesses usually take Santa's antics in the loving holiday spirit Santa intends, so be nice to them. All Santas are advised to follow the Four Fucks of Santarchy 1 DON'T FUCK WITH THE COPS. If the cops tell you to do something, DO IT. If you want to get busted, do it when you and I aren't dressed the same. 2 DON'T FUCK WITH STORE SECURITY. If they ask you to leave a store or bar, get the hell out and be nice about it, or other Santas will take shit for it. Besides, they might call the cops and then we're dealing with the first fuck. 3 DON'T FUCK WITH LITTLE KIDS. I'm serious, this is supposed to be fun. Holidays are unpleasant enough for kids these days. If we can't brighten it at least we can be one less worry for them. If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. Feel free to urinate on their parents. Remember: The kids of today are the weirdoes of tomorrow. 4 DON'T FUCK WITH SANTA I just might puke on your suit, you damned impostor. |
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| SANTA'S RULES
Basically, Baltimore will follow most of the same rules as DC and other cities. This list of rules and reminders for Baltimore was taken and adapted from DC and a few other cities. If this is your first Santarchy, PLEASE READ - Santas will not pity other Santas for not reading. A good Santa is self-reliant and prepares - which means, READING all this shit. |
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| Santa's IMPORTANT Reminders:
1. The "schedule" is open to liberal interpretation by any Santa at all times. Unlike many cities and some other lame fake Santa events, Baltimore has no pre-planned list of stops, just a suggested path (it's Santarchy, not santa-barcrawl). There is no Santa in charge to call. If you can't show up for the start, get the cell number of someone who can help you catch up later. 2. Santa does not make children cry. Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. (Feel free to abuse their parents.) 3. Santa dresses for all occasions. It's December. Smart Santas wear mutliple costume layers. Dress to maximize merriment whether singing christmas carols in the snow, or swinging from a stripper pole. 4. Santa doesn't whine! We will be outside much of the early day and covering a lot of ground on foot -- bring enough "snacks" to keep your pie-hole filled until we get indoors, and wear comfortable shoes, boots, slippers, whatever makes your Santa feet feel good. 5. Bring gifts -- NAUGHTY gifts to give grown ups; NICE stuff to give kids. Throwing coal at anyone or anything is discouraged (see the four FUCK rules above). 6. Watching Santa get drunk and obnoxious is fun. Babysitting Santa while they vomit in an alley is not. Don't be that Santa. We don't mind Santa drinking and having fun, but it's not the only thing Santa likes to do. Let's keep it fun. Santa gettin' giggy with it on a dance floor is much funnier than Santa vomiting. 7. Pay your own god damn bar tab. Tip the bartenders generously for putting up with us. |
| How we deal with the public is very simple: The answer is Santa. Memorize these possible questions and answers!
Who's in charge? SANTA Who are you with? SANTA What organization are you with? SANTA Who organized this? SANTA Where did you get the buses? SANTA Who's that woman? SANTA Who's that guy? SANTA What are you protesting? "Shitty holiday parties" (note: WE ARE NOT PROTESTERS!! We'd need a permit for that - and something serious to complain about...) How did you get here? "A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer" Where are you going next? "I'm only allowed to tell you if you wear this hat and buy me a beer". There are always folks who figure honesty is the best policy and that's fine. The aforementioned statements are true. Well, the last one is a stretch for some but what the hey. Do not quote a web address. Do not point out someone. Do not give out a name. Do not supply an e-mail address. Do not hand out a phone number. Some favorite replies to- why are you doing this?: This is the pickup location for day labor santas. BECAUSE IF WE DIDN'T DO IT, SOMEONE ELSE WOULD FUCK IT UP. We all have a fetish for fat men in red It's a secret santa convention...........shshhhhh...don't tell anyone Because we can Elvis had a fan club, why not Santa? Because Santa is everywhere, we are all Santa, find the Santa in you So we can get hotties to sit on our laps Because everybody loves Santa Because Santa loves you To feed our candy cane addictions This is the annual Santa Speed Dating Convention Because we've been good all year..... ...Or very, very, bad and trying to make up for it. It was on the Internet insert your smart-ass santa comment here The whole point is to have fun and spread some joy and humor with out any commercialism or exclusivity and without breaking the law or pissing people off. All are welcome. Bring gifts to give out: Candy, Condoms, stickers, etc. You can even bring extra Santa costume pieces to indoctrinate random strangers - feel free to "Santify" anyone you like. Think of it as the ultimate improv guerilla street theater. Good Luck and dont' forget your Ho's. Love, Santa |
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| Artwork altered by santarchybmore. Original artwork by Roberto Mangosi. http://www.robertomangosi.com/main/index.php |
| GET YOUR SONG BOOKS HERE! There are two versions: 1. NICE 2. NAUGHTY 1. Nice version is full size paper. Cover and contents are on the last page. Print and/or copy one or two sided - it doesn't matter, and just staple at corner. DOWNLOAD THE PDF BY CLICKING HERE 2. Naughty version is half size paper - designed to be printed / copied double sided and then folded like a book. (you 'll have to print and alternate every other page before copying --- or print odds/evens and then flip over to print the rest) DOWNLOAD THE NAUGHTY PDF BY CLICKING HERE You can also get the song books from the DC/Balt Yahoo Cacophony group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DC-Area-Cacophony/ . You'll have to join (FREE) and then download it from the group. |
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