Imagine a World Without Apple, Bloggers, Google or Dell

As long-time “From the Desk…” readers are no doubt aware, I spent the first ten years out of college working on Broadway as an arranger and conductor, killing time while trying to make my way as a composer/lyricist. Those days are long gone now, but from time to time, I still scratch my songwriting itch by writing new words to old melodies.

This week, I’m at the Macworld Expo in San Francisco. At a gathering of user-group members on Monday, I tried out a new song parody. It was inspired by a comment somebody made about how electronics and the Internet are now completely meshed into the fabric of our society. What would it be like if it all went away?

Grab your piano and sing along!

Imagine (sung to the tune of John Lennon’s “Imagine”)

Imagine there’s no Apple,
No products that begin with “i,”
No monthly iPod models,
No Apple stores to get you high.
Imagine all the people
Finding other things to do!

Imagine there’s no bloggers…
It isn’t hard to do!
No viruses or spyware,
No weekly Windows patches, too

Imagine all the people
Learning to get a life…

(You-hoo-hoo!)

You may say it’d be a nightmare
Without Google, Mac or Dell
We might have real conversations–
But the world would be dull as hell!

Imagine no new cellphones;
Kiss console games goodbye.
No David Pogue or Mossberg
To tell us what to buy.
Imagine all the people
Getting some exercise!

(You-hoo-hoo!)

You may say that I’m a loony
But rest assured I’m almost done.
I’m pretty sure it’ll never happen
So we nerds can live as one!

Comments are no longer being accepted.

Franklin Lubitsch January 17, 2008 · 12:25 pm

You know, you’re right, David. Your song describes a world we’ve almost forgotten, and that we probably won’t ever want again. [After saying this, Franklin retreats back to his house deep within Second Life]

Sharon Simoncini January 17, 2008 · 12:30 pm

Love the “Grammy Award-potential” lyrics! I’m forwarding your post to my 15, 13 & 11 year old kids, who keep asking me about “prehistoric life” before computers, video games and cell phones.

Alan January 17, 2008 · 12:34 pm

Love your work Mr. Pogue, but this is hilariously awful.

Erodrigufer January 17, 2008 · 12:42 pm

Well… I agree all that is really true. I didn’t know about your “past” life in Broadway.

Andy P. January 17, 2008 · 1:00 pm

What’s next.. The Ballad of Steve and Bill? I can hear it now, “The way things are go-ing, tech’s going to stultify me!” With apologies to John and Yoko..

Funny little ditty Dave.. thanks

superdave January 17, 2008 · 1:59 pm

The pogue fanboys will love this, but everyone else will know the truth

MSB January 17, 2008 · 2:01 pm

Don’t quit your day job ;-)

TD January 17, 2008 · 2:03 pm

David,

You will be recording this, yes? (Perhaps with backup from the MacWorld faithful?)

Now that tech gizmos are such a part of popular culture, perhaps this could be your break back into the world of composing. A few more late nights and you’ll have the start for a promising musical (“iPlay”… “Annie Get Your iPod”… “Phantom of the Opera Browser”?).

Best,
-Tom

gmcruiser January 17, 2008 · 2:12 pm

Choice! Oh so very, very choice!! ROTFL to the power of 10 and likely chuckling the rest of today.

50leaves.com January 17, 2008 · 2:45 pm

Dell? What have they done? There’s far better PC companies than dell.

Steve January 17, 2008 · 2:56 pm

You’re at Macworld? I’d never of guessed. You haven’t posted anything on here about Apple or the MacBook Air, time capsule etc.

Free trip to SF courtesy NYTimes?

Haha

Aayush Arya January 17, 2008 · 3:17 pm

Hello! :)

That was particularly awesome.

Thanks for a good laugh!

I agree with Steve though. No Macworld coverage for us yet? (Apart from that video in the column on the right, which I have yet to see…)

David Pogue January 17, 2008 · 3:47 pm

#14 wrote: “No Macworld coverage for us yet?”

What.. you mean other than a whole column’s worth? :)

//www.nytimes.com/2008/01/17/technology/personaltech/17pogue.html?ref=todayspaper

Professor Curt January 17, 2008 · 3:50 pm

I remember those days! There are times I wish we could get them back – things were much simpler. I could actually relax.
Then my cell phone or Blackberry goes off and I’m back in the “real” world. (And I resist the urge to throw the thing off the nearest bridge!)

Lynn G. January 17, 2008 · 3:53 pm

Love it! But…er…. that’s the world I grew up in ya know :) I like this one better! :D

Miguel January 17, 2008 · 4:08 pm

David! Great! I loved it, too! Thanks! WOw, now I understand how easily your can compose lyrics! Your TJ fan.

Tom January 17, 2008 · 4:10 pm

Very funny! Thanks for the chuckle. As for those who think you should keep your day job, this is better than Weird Al and look how much money he’s made! Keep the song parodies coming.

lascasas January 17, 2008 · 4:20 pm

David: Loved you’re lyrics, but didn’t you mean to say YA-hoo-hoo instead of (you-hoo-hoo!)?

Elle Fagan January 17, 2008 · 4:53 pm

You said it:
“You may say that I’m a loony ”
Yeperooney….

but we love him just the way he is.

no apple?….frightening!

e.

Scotty January 17, 2008 · 6:43 pm

Broadway is much better off……….and so are us pogueaholics.

s

Mike January 17, 2008 · 7:41 pm

It should have been Ya-hoo-hoo!

Gene January 17, 2008 · 8:32 pm

Where’s the video? It would be an awful lot more entertaining to see and hear you sing it out loud!

ajronline January 17, 2008 · 8:36 pm

Well Smirked! You’re having way too much fun between CES and MacWorld to get paid for all of this 8). Thanks for the levity…not that the world of electrical engineers needs any levity or anything.